


For a Chance at the Lead

by Poisonouspassion



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Blow Jobs, Character Death, Drugs, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Incest, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Original Male Character - Freeform, Rough Sex, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicide Attempt, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-03-23 11:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 94,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3767185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poisonouspassion/pseuds/Poisonouspassion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matthew finally gets a chance to hone his skills for a chance at the lead role in a play in the shape of a mysterious writer who seems far too willing to go above and beyond to help the blond student. Once Matthew finally sees the finish line will he be in over his head and bringing the role to life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Matthew sat at the table looking over the script that he'd pulled from his messenger bag, he mouthed the words and tried to imagine how he might react in the situation: the role of a victim of an abusive relationship. His theatre instructor Professor Bonnefoy had criticized Matthew's performance.  
 _"Matthew"_ he had remarked, _"you have to convey more emotion, more passion, more commitment to the role! If you cannot be believable, there is no way that you will be cast as the lead."_  
Matthew sighed as he rested his cheek in his palm and looked down into his tea, unconsciously mixing it with his spoon. He wanted nothing more than to be cast as the lead in this play, specifically because it was so outside of his comfort zone. Talent scouts and directors would be coming to see this, so it had to be him. After a year of hell primarily from the death of his brother and his parents' divorce, he deserved this little bit of happiness and satisfaction. He quickly looked around at all of the booths filled up with couples and friends chatting together and laughing, and then back to the empty chairs at his own table. Sure, he had some friends but they could never have been as close to him as he and Alfred were.

A Russian man in a dark suit walked it to the sound of a small, cheery bell and looked around for an empty seat and upon finding none he sighed and walked to the counter of the small café. He caught the cashier’s attention and, after going through the overhead menu, he ordered a black tea and a slice of maple cake off of the list of specials to satisfy his sudden sweet tooth. The young women greeted him happily and rushed off to get his order. He glanced around and to his dismay no seats opened up but he did notice that there were a couple of seats next to a honey blond. He turned back around and paid at the prompting of the brunette and grabbed his things with a small “Thank you.” He quickly found the blond again and headed towards him, stopping next to the table and speaking up when he noticed that the younger man was distracted “Excuse me…do you mind if I sit with you?” Ivan asked.

Matthew was quickly pulled out his own selfish thoughts when he heard a man's voice as smooth as silk that carried a Russian accent. He looked up from the table to see a tall, sharply dressed man towering above him, gesturing to an empty chair on the opposite side of the table. "Oh—um sure—go ahead!" Matthew cleared his throat nervously as he realized that he was practically falling all over himself with his speech, a problem that was often illuminated whenever he met strangers. He turned his glance anxiously, heart pounding in his small chest as he heard the man pull out the chair and take a seat. He could feel the Russian's mysterious gaze on him and that made a hot, red, warmth creep subtly over his cheeks.

Ivan chuckled, a deep sound accented by a light-hearted “Thank you” as Ivan sat down across from the flustered man. “My name is Ivan Braginsky” he said extending his hand for the other to take. He took in the other’s appearance as he spoke and noticed the signs of an artist, much like himself. The casual style, mix of colours, and ease of self, ‘Though…’ Ivan thought ‘this one seems to have a bit of trouble with new people…and…hm’ Ivan glanced at the packet of papers ‘either a small novel or…a script? I might have stumbled upon something interesting…’ he cut the thought short as the lavender-eyed man started to respond.

"Matthew Williams" the blond replied, timidly shaking Ivan's hand, whose grip was incredibly firm and warm. Matthew smiled politely saying "Nice to meet you, Mr. Braginsky." He found himself in a small trance as he locked eyes with the Russian. The man had the most alluring irises, they were the most enchanting shade of lavender, and it was as if they were looking right through Matthew, which caused him to end the handshake and look away. "So, are you from around here?" He asked, hoping he didn't insult the man in regards to his thick accent.

Ivan smiled “I’m from Russian, and you?” he asked, following polite conversation but also noticing that when the other didn’t hesitate or stutter, he too had a bit of an accent. He folded his hands in front of him and noticed that in relation to his other hand, the younger’s hand was much smaller and smoother. ‘Either just starting out as a writer or an actor…unless…no, clothes are too clean to work with paint…”

"Well, I was born in France and then we moved and I lived in Canada for most of my life…" Matthew trailed off, noting the man's emotionless expression; he hoped he wasn't boring the Russian. "I recently moved to New York after I left my parents" Matthew stopped, not wanting to give too many details of his personal life to a common stranger… although there was nothing particularly common about the other. From his dark suit to his speaking, he was quite distinguished "I guess I just wanted a new start, y'know?"

Ivan nodded “I understand that feeling…” he responded and took a bite of the cake he had temporarily forgotten about in lieu of learning more about the bright-eyed man. He waited a minute and drank some of the dark, cooling liquid from the monochrome-patterned cup before speaking again. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you leave your parents?” he smiled “and if you do mind then what kind of occupation do you have to leave you sighing in a corner with a stack of papers?” Ivan asked with a clever smile that held the slightest hint of a smirk.

"Um…" Matthew started quietly, struggling with which question he should answer "…It's a script that I'm trying to learn for my theatre major at University... and my parents are divorced. My mother has gone back to France and my father is in Canada. I felt bad that I had to leave because they are paying my tuition, but I just couldn't take the fighting anymore." Matthew looked up at the Russian, realizing what he had just said and if it had been too much. It was just that no one had ever taken such an interest in him…or was Ivan interested? It was hard to read his expression.

Ivan’s eyebrows raised a bit in surprise at the story but was pleased that the other was willing to share such information “That’s an unfortunately common story but it means that you are a strong person to be able go through that and still continue with schooling.” Ivan saw the look he was getting and sat back a bit to give him a bit more space “I’m sorry if I’m prying but you are not the kind of person I typically see here.”

"Oh, no not all! I—you come here often?" Matthew asked, surprised. This shop was a usual hang out spot for him but he had never seen Ivan here before. 'Perhaps I am just inattentive?' he thought to himself.

Ivan nodded “I stop by from time-to-time though it is usually much later in the day but I had a craving for something sweet. I usually sit near the back…it’s a bit quieter but it still offers a good view so that I can people watch…a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine” Ivan finished with a light chuckle before finishing the small slice cake.

"Oh, okay. That would explain why I haven't seen you before." An awkward silence then passed between the two, and Matthew began looking over his script again. "What do I do now?" he wondered to himself anxiously.

“Hm?” Ivan inquired softly, smiling when he realized that Matthew hadn’t meant to speak out loud. “What are you working on?” he asked seeing a bit of the frustration he must have been feeling through the expression the younger was wearing.

Matthew looked up, startled by the sudden realization that he had in fact been speaking out loud, and Ivan had heard him "I'm just going over some lines for this play. It sounds good in my head, but it's kind of difficult to critique myself." He sighed "I really want this role."

“I’m not familiar with acting but if you would like I might be able to help” Ivan offered “what is the part you are trying to get?”

Matthew hesitantly slid the stack of stapled pages across the table to the Russian, who picked up the packet and flip through the pages curiously. "If I get the role it will be as the victim of an abusive relationship" he replied, and then took a sip of his tea.

Ivan flipped through and read some of the lines on a few of the pages “That’s a very interesting role…if you don’t mind me asking, is there a particular reason for the choice?” he asked cautiously, knowing that he could be treading into delicate territory with someone he had never met.

"Well, it's…not really something that I'm used to, and, I was told that the only way to get anywhere in the acting world is to take risks and get away from roles that you are comfortable with. I couldn't be more uncomfortable with domestic abuse" Matthew explained, trying to make light of the situation. He found himself working incredibly hard not to insult the man, although something told him that Ivan was not so easily shaken.

“It’s certainly a challenging role to write, let alone convincingly perform but one of my books might be able to help if you can visualize actions. I have written such a relationship once before and the book seems to be doing fairly well so I seem to have done well with it” Ivan said with a chuckle. “I can bring it here tomorrow unless you would rather have it sooner.”

"Really? That would be great!" Matthew's eyes brightened at Ivan's words. He jumped at the chance, without even looking over the edge to see how deep or how cold the water was. "I would like to have it as soon as I can—or whenever it's convenient for you" he responded quickly. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind me borrowing it?"

Ivan laughed “I don’t mind at all, especially with that enthusiasm. If you don’t mind riding in my car to my house, it’s about an hour away from here. I would understand if that bothers you, it’s like something out of a horror novel” he said knowingly. ‘Especially considering I’m a writer in the middle of the woods with a taste for the unusual’ he thought to himself.

Matthew shrugged a bit and shook his head, "No, no, I'm fine with that" he said; a hint of hesitation in his voice, but only a hint. At this point it didn't matter how trustworthy Ivan seemed; this was the perfect tool to hone his acting abilities and he wasn't going to let anything get in the way of that; he wasn't going to disappoint anyone else ever again. With that thought, he finished his tea and put the script back into his bag "I really appreciate this, Mr. Braginsky."

“Please, feel free to call me Ivan” he replied as he finished his own tea, not commenting on the noticeable hesitation. Once they were both done they left their dishes for the waitress and exited together, heading towards the street where a sleek, black car was parked. As they got closer a noticeable red tint shown from the black paint and Ivan unlocked it “It’s open” he said simply.

Matthew wondered if it was too late to just decline the offer and leave but, by the time he thought about this, the two were already driving away and the coffee shop disappeared from sight as Ivan's car cruised down the street. Matthew blinked, a bit shocked at himself. They were just outside of the car a few seconds ago it seemed. But it was far too late to turn back now. He tried to relax; easing himself down into the passenger's seat and adjusting his seat belt every now and again. He felt a bit calmer from the classical orchestral music playing on the radio; a soothing violin quartet.

“It’s about an hour away so if you want me to change the music just ask” Ivan said, not taking his eyes off the narrow street lined with small shops and little restaurants. He didn’t look over at Matthew but he could feel some of the tension radiating from him. ‘The kid is a little absent-minded but he has some sense’ Ivan mused ‘he might actually benefit from a little more guidance despite the difficulty of the role…’

Matthew shook his head "No, it's fine; I like this type of music. Mr. Br—uh, Ivan, what kind of music do you like?"

Ivan thought for a moment “Well…I’m not adverse to any particular music but obviously I enjoy this” he said with a chuckle. “What about you?” he asked “what kind do you prefer?”

Matthew smiled "Actually I like rock music but my favorite kind is indie." He checked his phone for a text, although he was certain there wouldn't be one. It gave him something to do while he thought of what else to say to fill the silence. Suddenly, he heard a pitter of raindrops against the window, soft for a few minutes, and then a bit harder.

‘Hm’ Ivan thought absently ‘I thought it wasn’t supposed to storm until tonight…oh well.’ Ivan glanced at Matthew before righting his gaze “Hopefully it will stop soon” he said casually, noting that the other seemed a bit uncomfortable with the silence.

"Heh, yeah…" Matthew replied quietly. He found himself getting very heavy-eyed at the steady rhythm of rain and the quiet music on the radio. He yawned softly before closing his eyes and resting his head against the window.

Ivan smiled as he heard the other yawn “Go ahead, there’s still a ways left to drive…I’ll wake you when we arrive…” he said, hearing the other mumble a response before he drifted off to sleep. He chuckled quietly thinking that it was unusually refreshing to find someone so innocent that they would trust someone they had known less than a couple of hours.

Matthew's quiet breathing added to the sounds inside the car as he slept, little strands of honey blond hair floating gingerly on the breeze of the air conditioning vent. The young man jumped suddenly as his phone lit up and buzzed noisily in the pocket of his jeans. "Hello? Hey, Gil. Yeah, I'm fine, I just left. I'm fine; I'm just working on the play. Haha, yeah I'll be there...don't be nervous, you'll do great! Ok, I'll see you soon. Bye." Click. Matthew put the phone back into his pocket and tried to reposition himself. Perhaps he should have told Gilbert about the Russian?

“Fellow actor?” Ivan asked as the edge of the forest came into view “Ah; only a few minutes longer…” he said lightly as he listened to the other shift to get comfortable again.

"No, a family friend" Matthew explained. "He used to go to NYU last semester but he is going to transfer to Julliard. He has an audition tomorrow to get into the music department and I want to be there to support him" he smiled genuinely.

“That’s very kind of you” Ivan said with a smile “I wish him luck, it’s not easy to get into that school but it will benefit him more if he is able to.”

"Thank you" Matthew replied as Ivan pulled up to the iron gate. For the first time he noticed the strong change in scenery; the woods were dark and silhouettes of tall, gnarled trees with their hunched branches twisted together surrounded Ivan's house. The sun was beginning to set, hues of pink and orange bled through the blue of the sky. The young man noticed a cobblestone path littered with fallen autumn leaves. He waited until Ivan had opened his door to open the passenger's side. Even the air smelled different. Damp and crisp. No cigarette smoke or smog in his lungs, no loud sirens, or honking horns, or fluorescent street lights and shop signs. Just silence. Peace. It was beautiful.

 

“Welcome to my home…” Ivan said gesturing to the large house behind him and the accompanying cleared land around it “feel free to make yourself comfortable, it might take me a little while to find the book I mentioned earlier.”

Matthew nodded and stood there for a moment looking around at Ivan's home. The walls were painted a dark candy apple red and a crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling in the hallway and in the dining room. "...You have a lovely home" he appreciated the Russian's grandiose, Victorian style. There were contemporary cityscape and landscape paintings on the walls, and a stack of books on every visible table and shelf.

“Thank you, that’s very kind” Ivan said as he walked to his office where he usually kept the books he had written, if it wasn’t in there, it would be in the library but the library was huge so he would rather wait to search that. “Is there anything you would like to eat or drink?”

"No, thank you" Matthew said modestly. His stomach groaned loudly just as he finished his sentence. He turned around as he heard Ivan's soft laughter behind him at the situation.

Ivan stifled his chuckle “Let me get you a snack at least, would you like a sandwich or something?”

"Um, a sandwich is fine. Thank you" Matthew replied, a bit embarrassed "so, did you buy this house or did you built it or…"

Ivan walked back towards Matthew and passed him to go to the kitchen “I bought the majority of it but there was a lot that needed to be rebuilt and since then I have added onto it.” Ivan gathered what he needed, Matthew picking out what he wanted from the well-stocked fridge and started to prepare a simple sandwich.

"Oh" Matthew nodded, half of a tomato in his hand. He turned to Ivan "Ah… could you show me where you keep the knives?"

“Ah, they’re in the drawer to your left and if you want something to drink, the cups are in the cabinet it.” He explained as he finished though, seeing Matthew with the tomato, he left the sandwich in two parts so that the blond could do whatever he liked to finish it.

"Thank you" Matthew looked at the sharp, neatly placed kitchen utensils in the drawer. They were all organized according to size and, while admiring the Russian's order, he questioned why one man would need so many knives and cleavers? He chose a small knife and closed the drawer. "You must cook quite a bit for yourself? Everything's so… well kept" He said politely, cutting two thin slices of tomato and placing them on the turkey-covered bread. He retrieved a glass from the cabinet and filled it with milk from a carton that Ivan had placed on the counter top.

Ivan shot him a smile “Thank you, I do, I find it’s much easier to work with if everything is organized and kept in good condition. I don’t go out very often for food unless it’s after a meeting. What about you? Do you cook for yourself or does the school provide?”

"Actually, that's one thing I really like about Julliard; the cafeteria is filled different types of food from various countries to compliment the wide range of students. They really do come from everywhere—Japan, Germany, Austria, Greece, Sweden, Finland—and man, you should see these people, they are so talented! …It's great to have such a diversity. I cook "French cuisine" Matthew stated, quite proud of his Parisian heritage and culture, "but Gilbert insists on cooking most of the time and always invites me over. Have you ever had Prussian food? It's pretty good, similar in flavor to a lot of German meals."

Ivan raised his brows a bit as he leaned again the counter “That’s very impressive. I haven’t had the pleasure of trying it but I have enjoyed a couple of German restaurants in town so I will take your word on the taste of Prussian food.”

Matthew smiled and took a sip of milk from his glass before putting all of the kitchen supplies back. He felt a bit of sympathy for Ivan that he lived alone, but it didn't seem to bother the other. "Thank you so much for your hospitality. You must have a wonderful heart to invite a stranger into your home like this."

“Thank you but I could say the same, only a pure heart would trust a stranger as much as you trust me right now… not that I’m untrustworthy” he amended with a soft laugh. He glanced at Matthew with a calm smile when he remembered again about the book “You can leave the dishes on the counter if you like and I’ll go back and try to find that book.” Ivan walked off back to his study and picked up where he left off, moving stacks of books and searching through the small shelves of his works.

Matthew left the dishes there and stood conflicted for a moment, wondering whether he should help the man look or find a place to sit and wait. He decided on the latter. He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch gently, back erect and hands folded in his lap. He twiddled his thumbs anxiously as he heard shuffling from the study room "Would you like some help?" he asked.

“You are free to help if you would like” Ivan spoke back “I’m looking for the one titled Wilted Rose.” He lifted another stack of books and flipped through it looking, he may have a clean house but that didn’t mean his work was organized. He knew where most things were, especially those dealing with whatever his current project was but for older things it was rather difficult to place where what novel or reference would be.

"Ok, I'll see if I can help" Matthew stood up and walked into the study, wondering where such a book would be. "Wilted Rose, Wilted Rose...." he murmured as he thumbed through a full bookshelf in the corner. He knelt down when he found a small paperback book on the last shelf that was halfway out of the neat line of hardback books. He picked it up and immediately the cover caught his eye. At the top were the words "Wilted Rose" typed in white, monotype corsiva lettering. The illustration on the front of the novel was very different. It showed a woman with blond hair a few shades lighter than Matthew's, her blue eyes and red lips were wide with terror as a tall shadow loomed over her with a shape that looked like a vase in hand. There was a stain on the floor of water from the vase and a few morbid, withered, dark red roses under the figure's foot. Matthew could see that her legs were quite terribly bruised. "Ivan Braginsky" was printed at the bottom of the page in red cursive letters "I… found it." In his pursuit of the role, Matthew had forgotten how off putting domestic abuse was to him.

Ivan set down the books he was looking through and smiled at Matthew until he realized the uncomfortable look the other wore on his face “Are you alright?” he asked, unsure of what the problem was. It was one of his earlier works and not his greatest piece but…it wasn’t that bad.

"Yeah! Sorry, I just—I guess I wasn't expecting the cover. It's very dark, but then again the subject is dark too" Matthew said apologetically.

“Ah. It’s perfectly alright, I assure you but…” Ivan hesitated, wondering if he was speaking out when he shouldn’t be “…if it bothers you that much perhaps the book…and the role…are not for you…”

"No, you don't understand—I have to have this role!" Matthew cried out, feeling flustered. "I'm not going to be some starving actor on the street! I might not like violence but I have to put myself out there so I can develop my skills… I didn't mean to get so squeamish over the cover, it was just surprising…" he explained passionately. "I will not give this up—especially not for something like a dark image! So I promise to respect your literary style. It really does mean a lot to me." He thought it was crucial that Ivan knew he was absolutely serious about this. It was no joke.

Ivan put his hands up to stop the flustered man “I understand. This means more to you than I thought it did, I apologize” he said gently. “You can take the book and I hope you can benefit from it.”

"Thank you so much" Matthew said gratefully. "When would you like me to bring it back?"

“You can return it whenever you are done unless you would like to keep it; I have plenty of copies” Ivan said helpfully. 

 

After they talked for a little while, Matthew decided to return to campus and Ivan brought him back late in the night before returning to his own home. He ate a small dinner and went to sleep after cleaning up his study a bit. He thought of the cute blond that, despite his young age, had incredible dreams and ambitions. Ivan smirked; it made him want to step back and let the young man blossom but…at the same time…he wanted to keep him to himself. He chuckled to himself, ‘I have sown the seeds of trust and if he wants to return he can.’ He soon fell asleep and lost himself to the darkness of unconsciousness.

Matthew walked down the steps and into the theatre auditorium where productions were always held.  
"Hey, Mattie!" called his Prussian friend from the stage, his guitar in hand.  
Matthew waved subtly at the other, smiling encouragingly. The entire music department occupied the first few hundred rows so Matthew walked quickly to the front as the lights dimmed and the audience gave a courtesy clap to the future student.  
The panel of judges asked Gilbert the song he would be performing. "Tonight, I'll be performing a cover of 'Hallelujah' in hopes of being accepted into Julliard University of Fine Arts."  
There were quite a few snickers and judgmental glares from the audience, which made Matthew promptly whip his head around to stare daggers at them so that they would be quiet. The prestigiously dressed students and judges stuck up their noses at the Prussian's tattered jeans and alternative attire.  
By the first verse, the entire theatre was silent, by the chorus, every single person in the audience was teary eyed and sniffling. By the ending, the students erupted into a round of sincere applause and even a standing ovation. The judges stayed composed and calm although the emotion and the satisfaction shone on their faces as they clapped. "Thank you, Mr. Beilschmidt" the music chairman replied, smiling. He almost never smiled at auditions, not like this at least. "We will send you a letter within a week to let you know the results."  
Gilbert was grinning ear to ear as he scanned the crowd for Matthew. As the audience began to rise and exit, he jumped off of the stage and ran to the honey blond excitedly. "Mattie, Mattie! You came!" he hugged the young man tightly in gratitude.  
"Of course!" Matthew replied happily. "You were awesome!"  
Gilbert laughed "I am, aren't I?" he flexed his muscles jokingly as he wiggled his eye brows at Matthew.  
"Haha, you dork" he giggled and teasingly punched his friend's arm.  
"We should go out and celebrate, y'know? You and me" Gilbert threw his arm around the French-Canadian teen and they walked out to the parking lot.  
"Sounds like fun" Matthew replied.  
Gilbert opened the passenger door for him and Matthew climbed in, setting his bag on the floor.  
Gilbert drove to a new restaurant that had just opened up down the street. There were big golden chandeliers with suspended crystals, silk table cloths, and a vase of fresh violet carsons on every table. The atmosphere was similar to diners and high end clubs in America and England in the 1950s "Welcome to Amelia's & Kirkland's. How many are in your party?"  
"Two" Gilbert said to the hostess.  
"Okay, would you like seats at the counter or would you prefer a booth or table?"  
"A table is fine, thank you."  
"Okay, if you will follow me this way please, we'll get you seated."  
"We'll have two classic cheeseburgers, with everything on them, and two root beer floats please" Gilbert said.  
"Alright, sir, your order will be ready soon."  
"Mein Gott… this has to be the best cheeseburger I have ever had." Gilbert chomped down on the delicious meal hungrily and Matthew nodded as he munched his burger and took a sip of the root beer float.  
"Well, thank you, sir!" said an older English gentleman as he came up to Gilbert and Matthew's table.  
"Are you the owner?" Matthew asked.  
"Quite right, sir, my name is Arthur Kirkland, co-owner of this restaurant. I'm glad to hear that everything is good" he smiled proudly. He gestured to the blond hostess at the front of the restaurant. "That is my wife Amelia, the other co-owner" the man explained. The blond woman walked over to the table upon noticing. "Ah, did you want me, dear?" she asked sweetly, her blue eyes were cheery and bright. "I was just showing you off to our customers, love," he replied. Amelia kissed his cheek lovingly. "Aww, what a doll you are" she said playfully. Amelia gasped as she looked at the two students at the table finishing off their burgers. "Look at that, just like a photograph of you and me, eh, Arthur? Are the two of you on a date?"  
Matthew and Gilbert both blushed, surprised at the question. "N-no ma'am, we are ah—"  
"—Oh, you don't have to explain to me! I think it is wonderful to know that a nice gentleman still exists. Hold onto him tight, hun. Guys like that are pretty rare; you and I got lucky" Amelia winked at Matthew. She turned to Gilbert "And he seems like a sweet little lamb. Treat him right, huh?" she gave him a thumbs up.  
"Haha yes ma'am" Gilbert grinned as she walked away.  
After they finished their dinner, Gilbert drove Matthew back to his apartment. "I had fun tonight," he said as he opened the passenger door and walked him up to his front door.  
"Me too," Matthew admitted, embracing Gilbert tightly before he walked into his apartment and waved from the window as the Prussian drove away.  
He smiled warmly, remembering the firm, protective embrace of his friend. 'He was so warm… and he smelled so good', Matthew thought to himself. As he walked into his room, he looked at the book Ivan had given him that was resting on his night stand. His smile faded as he picked it up and opened it to the first page. There was a description of the scenery and of the main character seen on the cover page. He skimmed the lines of the first few chapters until he got to a chapter titled 'Til Death'.  
 _"I've decided that you should meet a good friend of mine today" the man smirked darkly. I followed him out to the car. He drove to an open field filled with head stones. He pulled me out of the car. "Where are you taking me? Let go!" I cried as I was dragged along the grass. He stopped when he came to a deep hole in the earth that had begun to swallow an open casket lined with blue velvet and satin, filled with red roses. "Do you like them? They are the bouquet, from the reaper to you. And the ring box is the coffin. The hole is your chapel.” I looked up at him in horror as he pointed to the casket. "Don't ever try to leave me. This is the only way you will ever leave me. In matrimony till death. Do you understand?" he said harshly. I felt my eyes welling up with tears of fear and despair. "I will never leave you… I promise! Please take me away from here! I love you, I love you!" I embraced him and I felt his arms tighten around me painfully. "And I love you. I will always be here to protect you, but you cannot fight me" he kissed my head and led me to the car. "…From yourself?" I muttered cautiously beneath my breath, gingerly caressing the tender bruise on my arm. How was it that this person had kept me shut away from the world for so long that I didn't even know what I was anymore or what I was becoming. I shook my head as I remembered my own words at the cemetery. 'I love you, I love you!' That was a lie. I HATED him. I hated that he made my stomach churn with terror, and at the same time he made me feel wanted and accepted and loved. Love? What did it even mean to me anymore? It meant being bought expensive jewelry and clothes to cover up the beatings and the bruises. How was it that the bliss-filled sweet nothings in my ear had melted into menacing monstrosities and cruelty? I wish I could have caught myself before I fell into this trap. I wish I had listened._ ~END CHAPTER~  
Matthew murmured the words before closing the book. "…I love you, I love you…" he said attempting to sound tearful and miserable. He wondered if he would be able to pull it off, before slipping into his pajamas and going to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first little story and one of my earliest rps so constructive criticism and comments in general are greatly appreciated. This is especially true for tips on the best way to tweak the standard roleplay format to a story format. This was incredibly fun to do and I hope anyone who gives this the chance will find some enjoyment in it too! And, hey, if you have any particularly memorable points then share them, I'd love to hear your opinions.
> 
> ~Poison


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, squeezing this in after a busy shift and before I sleep! If anyone has tips on how to handle and streamline third shift (2300-0700) as a CNA, drop me a message, I'd love to hear them =3

Ivan went through a typical day around the house as he got things done and relaxed; taking a bit of time off since he had just finished a small novel and wasn’t feeling inspired to start another just yet. He was content to relax as time went on and before he registered it, it had gotten dark again and he went to bed.

It was Sunday at midnight. Matthew yawned lazily as his phone buzzed and Gilbert's picture came up. Matthew picked up the phone and spoke groggily. "Hello? Really??? That is great, Gil… ok, no, it's fine… yes, I'll talk to you later. Ok, bye, Gil." The phone beeped as Matthew hung up and went back to sleep, quite exhausted from all of the reading he had been doing lately. He had stayed up so late to read the book and compare it to the script, which looked like a packet of notes, things were underlined, circled, starred, highlighted, etc. Matthew had studied it until he was falling asleep at his dining room table. He slept soundly, hoping that his hard work would pay off tomorrow.  
"Matthieu…" Professor Bonnefoy said through tears "…your performance was…truly moving. You took my notes so well! Well done, mon dieu!" he clapped as he sniffled proudly. Matthew beamed brightly.  
Weeks later, the list for the play was posted outside. Matthew Williams. He followed his name across the flyer and found himself cast as the understudy.

Ivan woke the next day and decided that he would visit the café in hopes of seeing Matthew again and see how the reading and the role was going and, if nothing else, he could enjoy a cup of good tea.  
He arrived at the café and took a seat by the corner Matthew and he sat in last time and ordered a hot cup of tea and relaxed to people watch.

Matthew sighed as he pushed the door to the cafe. The bell above the door dinged softly and the boy walked in. He was absolutely devastated. The understudy. All of his reading and studying. Maybe it was the book, maybe it just wasn't enough. Or maybe…Matthew just wasn't a good enough actor. He went up to the front counter and ordered himself a cup of tea with milk and a slice of chocolate cake with a dollop of whipped cream. He went to go find a table when he saw Ivan sitting in the same spot that they had shared last time. "Ivan…" he whispered to himself, his chest stung with a melancholic feeling mingled with delight. Before he could stop himself, he walked over to the table and sat down, greeting the Russian with a ruse in his demeanor "Hey, Ivan."

“Ah, hello Matthew!” Ivan’s brows, initially up with pleased surprise, fell when he saw the disappointed look on Matthew’s face. “What is wrong?” he asked, not wanting to assume the most likely cause; the role of the play.

Matthew sat there silently for a second, struggling with the scenario in his mind of whether or not he could get away with lying to the other. But, as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, he burst into tears and completely broke down in front of the Russian. "…I studied for so long…I read through the book so many times. I…I earned my professor's praise and approval…and I was cast as the understudy for the role." He placed a trembling hand to his forehead as his arm rested on the table. "I deserved that role…I worked so hard for nothing…" He took the book out of his bag and placed it on the table "Thank you for your help. I just wasn't good enough…"

Ivan frowned “You made understudy though, you are next in line for the role, the lead. You should have more faith. Continue to study and practice and who knows, something might happen and you could get the role” he finished with a smile. He would not settle until Matthew was in higher spirits and if he needed to step in…then he would…there was just something compelling that begged for protection in the beautiful violet gaze.

Matthew's face lightened up immediately at Ivan's words. The Russian was so encouraging of Matthew and so kind and hopeful. It reminded him so much of Alfred. And then he remembered just who he was doing this for, and that lit the fire inside him to continue his studies and to remain hopeful of getting the role. "You're right, I shouldn't give up so easily. Maybe the reason I haven't gotten the part is because I'm studying the material incorrectly?" the boy thought aloud; it was Ivan's book after all. And then it came to him. "I know! You can coach me! You know the book better than I could—you know exactly how I should act, right? Please help me study" Matthew begged, looking into Ivan's lavender irises desperately.

Ivan smiled “I would be happy to help in any way I can but…I’m not sure how I could.”

I was thinking we could do some line reading and then see how it compares to the book?" Matthew replied.

“Alright” Ivan responded with a smile “Where would you like to practice? My place or would a real stage be preferable?”

"Your place is fine" Matthew replied. "Thank you so much for helping me. I know I'll get the role with your aid" his lavender eyes sparkled.

Ivan chuckled “I hope you do, I would love to help and, maybe, you can show me one of your rehearsals on stage one day in return” he finished lightly, sipping of bit of his tea.

Matthew gave the man a smile "I would love to, Ivan." He put down his milk tea and looked into the empty cup for a moment before looking back up at Ivan. His amethyst eyes were so sincere and caring. Matthew decided that he loved that most about the man.

“Wonderful, would you like go now?” Ivan asked as he finished his tea. He would try to help Matthew as much as he could but if he couldn’t…well…there was always that…

Matthew stood up from the table "Yes, please" he replied, and began walking towards the door as the man followed. He would get the lead, there was no doubt with Ivan helping him. The young man smiled to himself. He would finally have closure.

Ivan smiled, he would be happy to help and of course he would do what he could to boost the cute blond to his goals. They walked out of the small café together “When is the next practice?” he asked as they got into his car.

"Um, tomorrow…" Matthew said, sliding into the passenger's seat. He closed the door "I'm sorry it is such short notice."

“It is perfectly fine, don’t worry. I still plan on making it” Ivan said getting into his own seat and starting the sleek black car “what time does it start?”

The honey blond student scratched his nose "Tomorrow night at 8:30." He watched the cars passing rapidly outside the window, the little cafe disappeared as the black car cruised away. Matthew gave the man a smile as he tucked a strand of loose hair behind his ear "Thank you again, Ivan."

Ivan smiled a bit at the cute gestures that could easily be considered flirting “It’s no problem, whatever I can do to help you reach your dream.” He looked over for a moment to show Matthew a genuine smile before righting his gaze “Would you like to stay at my place until then or do you want me to take you back tonight?”

Matthew returned the Russian's warm smile, naive to the subtly engaging signals he was sending to the man "I don't mind staying with you…"

“Good. It will give us more time to prepare” he said as the drive drew on. He wondered about the other’s status relationship-wise but didn’t say anything as it was too soon to just ask and the right atmosphere hadn’t been created so Ivan would bide his time a bit, there might be a way to ease into it without even asking.

Matthew nodded, smiling attentively at the man. He noticed how Ivan's violet eyes seemed to light up in dim light. He decided to make light conversation. "Um, by the way, Gilbert was accepted into Julliard" Matthew hadn't had many people to tell, but he was certainly proud of his friend.

“Oh? That’s wonderful, I’m sure the performance was fantastic. What did he enter with?” Ivan asked curious what the man would have to bring the excitement to Matthew’s voice.

"He did his own rendition of the song Hallelujah on his guitar…it was very beautiful" Matthew reminisced, smiling brightly at his friend's success and talent. "Everyone in the theatre judged him immediately by his appearance but…when he finished the song there wasn't a dry eye in the room…and he got a standing ovation!" He blushed the slightest bit, turning his head to look out the window, not at anything in particular but stuck in a blissful daze as he remembered the dinner they had afterward. "He took me out to dinner to celebrate…I…think he might…like me or something…"

Ivan tensed a bit where he gripped the wheel, affected more than he would like to admit to the thought of competition but he kept his tone light “Are you interested in him?” he asked, ‘might as well continue and try to learn the details’ Ivan thought but through the corner of his eye he could see the blush and the way the other leaned against the window and away from him. He kept his gaze on the road and just drove, happy that home was not far off as they breached the first circle of trees.

Matthew giggled "I…ah…we're really good friends but… I almost feel as if I should give him a try, y'know? Just go for it and see what happens. I mean, I'm free…it's not like I'm—tied down or anything." The honey blond looked over at Ivan, smile fading when he saw that his eyes were flickering a bit, as if someone had busted a fluorescent light "…Are…you okay?"

Ivan blinked and forced himself to relax a bit “Of course, I’m just not sure how to answer. If you are free it is up to you” he said but while he trying to lighten his tone it still fell a little heavy in the situation but at least his questions would be answered.

Matthew furrowed his brow in concern for the man. He suddenly seemed a bit upset at Matthew's conversation about Gilbert. Perhaps it reminded him of his loneliness? Either way, Matthew did not want to further fray the man's nerves. Maybe he liked Gilbert, or…maybe he just liked their friendship. He was getting close to the Prussian, almost as close as he and his brother had been. Then again, he should probably keep focused on school…having a boyfriend might make him lose his focus…and there was the play… He switched topics "Feel free to not answer this but…have you ever been in a relationship?"

Ivan’s eyes widened a bit, not expecting the question, before the tension broke and he chuckled “At my age…” he chuckled again. “Yes, I have had my share of relationships, from both sides” he added as a second thought. He certainly didn’t feel comfortable with the thought of the naïve blond being with someone he didn’t approve of, despite Gilbert getting into such a school, he would much rather have Matthew to himself. He glanced at Matthew for a moment and saw the concern on the other’s face. He didn’t mean to be so obvious with his feelings over the matter but it was nothing like a lack of relationships that upset him, more often than not they were more trouble than they were worth but this one…this one he wanted to cultivate and see what it could grow into.

"Oh, I see…" there was a period of silence after Ivan's response. Matthew glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes a split second after Ivan had looked at him, feeling the violet irises boring into him, as if reading his expression. "You seem like you would be a very nice person in a relationship…I mean—you're very kind and…I'm sorry that the other people you dated did not work out. You know…there is someone for everyone. So don't give up hope that there is someone for you!" Matthew smiled at the man with an optimistic shine in his eyes.

Ivan was again a bit surprised at the response but chocked it up to the other’s naivety. Things just didn’t work out for everyone and if there truly was someone for everyone then so be it but there was no guarantee that this someone would be found or was not already taken. But he kept his slightly dark but realistic thoughts to himself. “Thank you; to say that is very kind” he smiled a bit though his thoughts were still a bit hung up on Matthew’s friend “I’m sure whomever you pursue will be happy to have you.” The forest started clearing and within a couple of minutes they had arrived “I assume you want to get started as soon as possible, yes? Come on” he said with a small smile as he parked and they walked to the large home.

"Ok" Matthew nodded and followed the other up the familiar cobblestone pathway, his quiet footsteps echoed softly on the ground right after Ivan's heavier steps. A red tint filled his cheeks as he recalled in his head the Russian's compliment. '…I'm sure whomever you pursue will be happy to have you…' Ivan always said the most encouraging things. Matthew was however pulled from the sanctity of his thoughts as the front door creaked open after the other had unlocked it and was already inside, waiting on the student. "Oh!" Matthew hurried inside as he saw Ivan staring at him, patiently awaiting him to come inside. His absent mindedness was another weakness that he knew about himself but it just sort of happened. A lot "Sorry…"

Ivan smirked a bit at the light blush gracing Matthew’s cheeks ‘Good, I have some effect on him at least’ he thought as he closed the door behind Matthew. “It’s alright, don’t worry. Do you have the script?” Ivan asked once Matthew had turned around.

Matthew nodded again, pulling the script from his bag, as well as a copy of the script for Ivan. He handed the packet of stapled papers to the man, smiling, eager to begin. But the papers slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor, the paper staying together by the bond of the staple but splitting as it patted the tile. Matthew's hands shook a bit as he bent down, picking it up to hand to the man, his anxiety and excitement visible. "Ah—sorry" he handed the packet to Ivan again, giving the man half of a flustered smile as he looked at the floor, lavender eyes gazing back up to the other slowly.

Ivan smiled and shook his head as he took the papers “You have nothing to be nervous about, it’s only us and I am here to help so I need to see you confident and ready for this role” he finished, taking the liberty to lift the other’s chin gently to meet his eyes. He hoped he wasn’t being too forward but he wanted to get his points across; he really did want to help with the role but he also hoped to communicate a bit of interest to the blond, hoping it would be received well and not scare off the timid man.

Matthew's pupils dilated for a moment, the crimson warmth crept over his features as he felt Ivan's finger on his chin. The violet eyes held a gentle, kind gaze to match his smooth tone as the Russian attempted to stifle any anxiety within the boy. Matthew's heart fluttered in his chest a bit faster as Ivan smiled at him. He wondered if…no, a man like him could not fall for someone like Matthew. Someone so quiet and so sheepish and clumsy and weak… Someone as strong and kind and—well, handsome as Ivan could just not be interested in Matthew. The student certainly didn't believe that there was anything special enough about him to attract someone like Ivan… He knew that Gilbert was the best he could do "…Ok…"

Ivan’s smile brightened at the blush, it was a wonderful response though the other was still too timid but…Ivan could work with it. He ever so lightly brushed his thumb against the slightly tense jaw and slowly dropped his hand. “Alright” he started, bringing the script up and glancing at it for a moment before looking at Matthew again “I want to read a bit of this and try to get a feel for what the script says before you start but feel free to make yourself at home, you did say you were staying yes? Feel free to get something to eat and the main bathroom is the third door down the hall on the second floor if you need it” he finished, wanting the other to feel more relaxed with him before they started. Ivan may not have done anything in the way of acting but it was only logical that tension coupled with nervousness was not conducive to stepping into a difficult role “I will be in the library if you need me, it’s right across the hall from my study. Large glass doors, you can’t miss it” he said with a chuckle as he turned.

Matthew nodded absently as he watched Ivan walk to the library. He wondered if the man had meant anything by his words, whether it was meant to be taken as a confidence boost or…something else? The scenarios rambled on in his mind as he stood there still reeling with his actions. Matthew looked after the Russian, then look back at the script wavering from his hand trembling slightly. He shook his head, trying to regain his concentration and remember why it was that he was here in the first place. Not to become a flustered mess at the assumed coquettish signals of a stranger. Not to be relaxed or have a friendship with the man. Not for any reason other than to secure the lead role in this play for his brother. Matthew hadn’t seen or paid attention to the signs of his brother’s abusive relationship. He wanted to atone, and ease the unresolved guilt and pain from his ignorance. Perhaps Alfred would still be alive if he had just been more inquisitive and suspicious instead of assuming that everything was alright. He walked to the living room and sat down on the couch, eyes locked on his script as he went over the lines again and again. Over and over, changing his expressions and altering his emotions as he heard the words and feelings in his head and projected them as such, but in a hushed tone, as not to break Ivan’s concentration, assuming the man could hear him.

Ivan opened the grand doors and started a small fire, coaxing it to grow before settling on the small loveseat and started to go over the dark but entrancing script. He went over it twice, one for what he could gather instantly and a second to commit it to memory and get the subtleties of the character Matthew was trying to get. It took a while but finally Ivan set the script down and with a quick call of “Matthew” he summoned the other to the spacious fire-lit room.

Matthew jumped as he heard Ivan call his name, lifting him out of his current state of concentration. He stood up, walking down the hallway where he saw grandiose glass doors decorated with scrollwork patterns in the glass. He spotted Ivan in its reflective, polished surface, sitting by the glowing fire that sparkled on the glass. He open the doors, walking in slowly and closing them cautiously behind himself, knowing their frailty. Immediately the student was enveloped by the roaring warmth of the fire that spread over the room. The shadows flickered on the wall as Matthew stood in front of the other, awaiting instruction "Yes?"

Ivan draped his arm over the couch and smiled “Are you ready to show me what you have to offer? I want to see if there’s anything you can improve though I have faith that you will do wonderfully.”

"Yes, I am ready to show you" Matthew's lavender eyes shined confidently. He stepped forward towards the empty seat beside the other, thinking that his arm moving over the chair might have been an invitation for the student to sit down, but he hesitantly stepped back, instead staying in front of the man, holding his script up to his chest and not over his face, so that his voice would project and his emotion would be visible. "Do you want me to start?"

“You are welcome to sit next to me” Ivan said “though it may be best to wait until we review your work; I want to be able to truly see you.” Ivan grabbed a pen from the small side table next to him and looked back at Matthew “You can start at any time.”

 

Matthew nodded, clearing his throat. He held himself in place, steeling his nerves, and exhaled deeply. “Here goes nothing…” He looked up Ivan, still holding the papers for reference if he forgot a line. “…It’s nothing…I um—scraped my arm when I fell yesterday!” He tried to make his eyes look weary though he wore a false smile “Nothing to worry about—I promise!” He forced his tone to flow in a facetious manner, shrugging his shoulders and looking at the floor occasionally, or rubbing an imaginary bruise on his arm. Matthew’s eyes widened as he turned to the next page, eyes still on Ivan. He sank to the floor, tears in his lavender eyes now wide with fright. “No!!! Please…please don’t…it’s so hard to hide the other bruises…everyone is starting to see…” He clutched his arms protectively to his chest, body trembling as he spoke reverently to the other. “Please NO—I LOVE YOU! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!!” He turned his face, cringing as if he were about to be slapped, tears slipping down his cheeks rapidly. “I love you…I love you…I-I know…” he said tearfully, voice shaking in accordance. “I…won’t try to leave again…you are so good to me…please…forgive me…” Matthew bowed his head, hands folded in front of him as if in prayer to the character he would be acting opposite to. He waited a moment before breaking character and standing back up, wiping the tears and gathering himself again, waiting for feedback while the other took notes.

Ivan jotted down a couple of things but for the most part he was kept in rapt attention at the impressive passion found in the performance. Once Matthew finished Ivan clapped lightly and patted the cushion next to him “Please sit.” Once Matthew did he proceeded to congratulate the other “You did wonderfully” Ivan said with a smile “you give yourself far too little credit, quite a talent for the crying too.”

Matthew felt his face starting to heat up again as Ivan praised him, complimenting his acting. "Thank you" he smiled brightly at the man's positive feedback, running a hand through his honey blond hair, lavender eyes glistening.

“No thanks is needed, you have genuine talent but you can’t seem to see it in yourself and that is the problem” Ivan said getting to the point rather quickly. “You are playing a timid role but it takes a strong person to bring out the subtleties and leave behind the more obvious actions when one thinks of this role.” Ivan smiled “If you start out softer then it is all the more passionate when your character actually needs to show change.”

Matthew nodded, looking down at the paper to write notes of his own. "Softer at…the beginning…then…more passion…" He spoke as he wrote and then looked back up at Ivan. "Got it" he smiled at the man, thankful to learn from a professional writer and have a formal critique.

“You did wonderfully with the tears and the ending but when you are trying to convince the friends you have to be a little more sure of your well-being, make them believe that there is truly nothing wrong with what you are saying and then, when then audience sees just how bad it is, it will be considerably more shocking” Ivan said smiling as the enthusiastic actor in training took notes on what he was saying. This continued with little edits here and there and after a few hours of practice Ivan deemed it perfect and called time for dinner. “Are you going to be able to show them your improvement tomorrow?” he asked as he prepared a simple stew.

"Definitely" Matthew replied confidently, smiling at the man as he sat at Ivan's dining room table. "I was surprised we got everything covered today, too! Thank you so much, Ivan! I'm sure to get the part with your notes!" The boy was beaming so brightly. Ivan had given him such encouragement and hope with his critique and the practice. He felt as if he had already gotten the part. "I'm sorry to keep saying it but…I'm so grateful to you…there must be a way I can repay you."

Ivan smiled a bit to himself, unseen by Matthew, as he cut the vegetables. The other was just so innocent he didn’t know how such a sentence could be taken. “Do not worry I am simply happy I could help you with something you care so much about. Though I do hope that we can still chat after you get the part and become a star” Ivan chuckled as he grabbed a couple more things from the fridge and got to work on starting the meat.

Matthew grinned effervescently at the other's words. He waved his hand, laughing a bit, dismissing the thought of becoming famous "Haha if I ever did, I would thank you in my award speech!" He looked down at the table, blushing again. "We…don't really have to wait that long to keep in touch…um—I could give you my phone number if you ever want to talk or…maybe…come over for tea?" he hoped he wasn't moving too quickly.

Ivan’s eyes perked up a bit and the hand that was busy chopping meat stilled for a moment to respond “I would be flattered to be mentioned and tea sounds lovely, when would you like to meet up?”

"Ah…anytime really" Matthew smiled at the other's response, sitting a bit straighter in his chair. "I'm free on Tuesdays all day, and on Fridays and the weekend. Is that…okay for you?"

Ivan chuckled “Yes though anytime is fine. One benefit of being a writer is that, aside from meetings, you can work with your own schedule.” He put the meat in the pan to pre-cook it and washed his hands before grabbing a piece of paper off of the pad of note paper on the fridge and writing down his number “Here, call or text anytime” he said handing the paper to Matthew and adding the veggies to the slow-cooker as the meat cooked by itself.

Matthew slipped the scrap of paper into his pocket after looking over it. He smiled at Ivan, cheeks hot as the red flushed his face again. "Ok" Matthew inhaled the smell of the delicious food, mouth practically watering at how savory it was "That smells amazing, Ivan!"

Ivan smiled, undeniably pleased with the strong blush colouring the blond’s cheeks “Good, it is almost ready.” Ivan checked that the meat was mostly done and tossed it in with the veggies to finish cooking and flavouring “We still have about twenty minutes, what would you like to do?”

Matthew was taken by surprise, not expecting that question and unsure of how to answer "Ah—um I guess—I'm…fine with whatever you want to do…"

“I am fine with anything but if you are unsure I can show you your room if you would like” Ivan offered after putting the lid on the cooker and facing Matthew.

Matthew nodded, "That sounds good!" he was a bit excited to see the rest of Ivan's lovely house.

“Wonderful” Ivan said with a smile “follow me” he finished as they walked upstairs and Ivan showed him the rooms behind the five doors. “The master bedroom, my room, is the one in the middle, the one next to it and closest to us is one of the guest rooms and the one you will be staying in. The main bathroom is behind the third door and is connected to my room but you are free to use it. Another bathroom is across the hall and next to it is a studio room; which admittedly is full of books and of course the remaining door is the other guest room” Ivan said with a chuckle as he showed him into each of the rooms except the studio room. He revisited Matthew’s door once the little tour was done “What do you think?”

"It is very nice!" Matthew smiled at the Russian. The room was beautiful and decorated with a regal taste, certainly making Matthew feel spoiled. The bed was large, and draped neatly with a red silk comforter and long curtains on the picture window to match. There were tapestry oil paintings of cityscapes and seascapes in France on the walls and silver candelabras on the dresser. Matthew loved the care and consideration taken into decorating the room, noting a marble sculpture of the theatre mask with the two faces on the dresser. He wondered if any others had ever had the privilege of staying in such a prestigious guest room. Then again, it was as if the room was decorated just for Matthew "Thank you very much for letting me stay with you."

Ivan smiled “I am pleased that you approve, I had hoped it would be good.” Ivan glanced at the clock sitting on the small table next to the large bed “Ah, it should be done now. Are you ready to eat?”

"Ye—" Matthew turned around to look at Ivan and reply, when he noticed the closed door at the end of the hall. He didn't recall seeing it before. Perhaps Ivan forgot and skipped over it. He decided to point it out to the other, just in case. "What about…that room down there?"

Ivan glanced at the direction Matthew was indicating “That is just the messy studio room I mentioned” Ivan chuckled a bit “no need to show it until I clean it up a bit. Come on, let’s eat” he said as he started to descend the stairs to return to the kitchen.

"Oh. Alright…" Matthew licked his lips at the now even more potent aroma of the food. He held the banister and followed Ivan down the staircase and to the kitchen, asking if he needed to set out the bowls, glasses, and silverware.

“If you would like to help, you are welcome to. The silverware is in the drawer to the left of the stove and the glasses are to the left of the fridge in the cabinet and I’ll handle the bowls. You are free to drink whatever you like and can find and if it doesn’t bother you would you fill a small glass with vodka” Ivan finished with a smile over at Matthew as he gathered two bowls and set to filling them with the hot stew.

"Okay, I don't mind at all" Matthew nodded, and got a small glass, another for himself. He honestly didn't partake in drinking alcohol but he didn't mind the other drinking. Ivan was in his own home after all. But it was still nice of him to ask. Matthew got the cold bottle of grey goose vodka from the fridge and poured the clear liquid into the glass. He set the table with the silverware last, and placed his and Ivan's glasses on the table.

Ivan finished setting the bowls down as Matthew finished “Thank you for the help and the drink” Ivan said sitting down in his own seat and waited for Matthew to sit before grabbing his fork. “I hope it’s to your tastes” he said taking a bite of the savory meat.

Matthew took his fork in hand, thanking Ivan for the meal, before digging in. "Mmm…it's so good…" Matthew said to the other, loving the rich tastes and savory decadence of the food.

Ivan chuckled at the pleased noise and swallowed “I’m happy you enjoy it; you can have as much as you like.”

Matthew nodded, sipping his soda from the glass. However he was full in no time at all, the food settled in his stomach as he moved back a bit in his chair, dabbing daintily at his lips with his napkin. "Thank you very much for the meal, Ivan. Your food is excellent" the honey blond smiled at the Russian.

Ivan finished not long after Matthew and settled in to finish his glass “I am flattered you think so” he said with a smile as he refilled his glass. “If you don’t mind me asking why didn’t you get some alcohol, most your age would have jumped on the chance. Are you just not old enough to drink or not comfortable with it?” Ivan inquired sitting back down across from Matthew.

"Ah, both…" The student responded. He had only just turned twenty, but even so, drinking with others had never appealed to him. “Although my parents didn't see anything wrong with giving me a little wine during Christmas dinners and such…" Matthew rubbed the back of his neck. "I liked drinking casually with them but I just don't trust the other students that way…" He might have been naive but he definitely had common sense. "And that's one thing that bothers me a bit about Gilbert—he drinks pretty frequently—especially when he's trying to cope with something stressful…but he told me he would stop for me" Matthew replied, looking up at Ivan.

“I understand; I’m sorry if I was too pressing but I was curious. It certainly seems like your friend truly cares for you” Ivan replied “though since you said that you were too young as well, how old are you?”

"It's no problem" he smiled, he didn't mind telling Ivan that information. "Ah, I just turned twenty a few months ago…"

“Ah, not too much younger then” Ivan said with a coy little smile “I wish I had known you then but I shall for the next one yes?”

"Ah, yes" Matthew nodded, playing with a strand of blond hair, his lavender eyes looked down again. "And if you don't mind me guessing…you look about…twenty three? Or twenty five, maybe?" he looked back up at Ivan, wondering if he'd guessed correctly.

“I’m flattered but I’m twenty-seven, twenty-eight later this year” Ivan said with a smile “surprised?”

Matthew's hands flew up to his mouth in embarrassment and disbelief at the Russian's statement. He looked so good and so youthful for being almost thirty. He nodded.

Ivan laughed at the reaction “I’m even more flattered now, I suppose if nothing else, I look good for my age.”

Matthew looked down again, unbelievably flustered at the man. He tried to hide his rosy face from Ivan as the other laughed "Y-yeah, haha…"

Ivan’s laughter calmed “I’m sorry” he said pausing to chuckle again “I don’t mean to tease…” he said with a bright smile, admiring the other’s strong blush.

"Ah it's okay! No need to apologize!" he waved his hand, uncovering his face, still red. "And pardon me but, do you mind if I excuse myself?" Matthew asked, picking up his dishes and glass slightly.

“Of course go ahead” Ivan said finishing another glass. He stood to refill it and decided to take care of his dishes “If you would like to wash up, I can take care of the dishes.”

"Ah, thank you but…I didn't really pack any clothes since staying over was a last minute thing…" he smiled at the man gratefully, rubbing his neck. He stood up from the table, thanking Ivan for taking his dishes.

“Hm, you can sleep in one of my shirts if you would like but I doubt I have anything else that would fit” Ivan said as he started the dishes.

Matthew's face reddened further at the other's suggestion, his lavender eyes widened. Wearing Ivan's clothes? He knew very well that it was something couples did…and it just flustered him further to hear Ivan say it. He turned, starting up the stairs "Ok, th-that's fine…thank you."

Ivan smiled and set a clean plate in the empty sink “Alright, you can use my bathroom and I’ll leave the shirt outside the door” he spoke as the other left. Ivan smiled as he cleaned; pleased with the positive responses from the adorable young blond, perhaps he wouldn’t have to worry as much as he initially thought about the competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first little story and one of my earliest rps so constructive criticism and comments in general are greatly appreciated. This is especially true for tips on the best way to tweak the standard roleplay format to a story format. And, hey, if you have any particularly memorable points then share them, I'd love to hear your opinions.
> 
> ~Poison


	3. Chapter 3

Matthew found it hard to believe that he was so easily aroused by the Russian. He had just met him, and he was already putting on his shirts and having dinner with the man! His heart pounded in his chest as he stepped into the bathroom and locked the door, stripping his clothes. He turned on the faucet and waited for the hot water to pour out. He slipped the clear curtain back, and stepped into the tub, standing under the flow of hot water. The steam poured from behind the curtain, billowing out in wisps over the shower rail. Matthew washed his hair, contemplating Ivan and the play and Gilbert…an array of things on his mind as he scrubbed his body. He sighed, turning off the water a few minutes later and ringing out the excess water from his hair as he smoothed it back with both hands.

Ivan finished the dishes and went upstairs to grab a long shirt, searching until he was sure it would cover Matthew. It took a moment but he found one that satisfied him, a light-blue shirt that buttoned up, he hoped it would suffice, at least for the night. He refolded it and set it in front of the door to the bathroom and knocked “It’s right outside. If you need me I’ll be in my room” he said before turning and heading to the door next to it. Though the bathroom was joined to his room as well he purposefully left the shirt by the hallway door so he wouldn’t have to embarrass him further, at least not in such a way. If the other wanted more than the light, playful teasing it would have to be Matthew that took control.

"Thank you!" Matthew called, before he heard the door to Ivan's bedroom shut. The chilly breeze slipped in the door as Matthew opened it slightly to reach out and pick up the shirt. He dried his body with a towel and then slipped the shirt over his head, maneuvering his arms into the sleeves. The shirt was soft and fell to his knees and the sleeves fell over his hands. He folded the other clothes and made sure the bathroom was clean before he stepped out, walking to his room for the night. But his curiosity got the best of him as he stared at the closed door all the way down the hall. What could have been in the study that Ivan didn't want him to see? He stood there for a moment, wondering if he should go investigate…

Ivan was reading lying on his grand bed, matching the one in Matthew’s room, though it was a king instead of a queen. He heard Matthew call his thanks and smiled, not speaking as he heard the door close. He supposed the other would retreat to his own room but they had made plenty of progress and while he would happily go farther, he had to ease into it or risk scaring the timid kid away.

Matthew dried his dripping honey blond hair with a towel, rubbing and patting his hair as he decided against exploring and went to the guest room, sitting down on the side of the bed. He yawned softly, and lay back against the soft silk when he was sure that his hair had dried. The yellow ringlets of wavy tresses fell and spread against the red silk, and Matthew sighed comfortably into the goose feather pillows, loving the feeling of the soft material against his skin. His legs drew up as he lay on his side and pulled the covers over himself, falling asleep to his own soft breathing.

Ivan read for a bit longer before accepting that he wouldn’t be getting a curious visitor that night and set the book down on his bedside table and went to take a late shower now that his bathroom was empty. He walked in, feeling the lingering heat from the previous shower, and started undressing, setting his clothes on the sink in a folded pile before starting a shower. It only took a moment for the water to reheat and he stepped in. He stood still under the strong spray for a couple of minutes thinking about Matthew being in here before him. He smiled and wondered what the lovely, lithe body looked like under the clothes he wore. Ivan shook himself out of his musings as he started to feel arousal stirring; there was no need to get worked up when he wouldn’t find release. He finished up his shower at a leisurely pace and shut the water off. He stepped out and grabbed a towel to stem the water running down his form as he wrapped it around his waist and returned to his room to finish drying and to get dressed.

Matthew drifted off into a realm of unconsciousness in the quiescent darkness, slipping into a trance of lucid daylight thoughts twisted into fear and confusion by night. He started to sweat, twisting and turning in his bed as he heard soft whispers in his head. _"Mattie…Mattie…Mattie…"_ the voices repeated his name lifelessly. He found himself walking forward towards the chanting, enveloped in darkness. He put out his hand to the side to feel his way around. He pulled his hand back suddenly, feeling warm and wet beating chambers as if he had pressed his hand into someone's insides. He continued down the midnight hall which seemed to stretch on for hours on end, the voices filling with sorrow and distress with every harrowing step. Matthew started to identify the voice, as it was wailing in torment now. _"Mattie! Mattie! Mattie! …Save me! Save me! SAVE ME!"_ "Alfred?!" Matthew's voice and footsteps echoed as he ran now, blindly in the darkness. Suddenly an abrupt stop anchored his feet at the blood red door in front of him, illuminated by an eerily glowing lantern light over the door post. There was soft crying behind that door. "Alfred...?" Matthew stepped up to it, his hand on the doorknob, and opened the door. It didn't make a sound. There was a blond lying on his knees on the floor, shoulders shaking as he sobbed silently. His back was facing Matthew. "…Alfred?" Matthew's eyes widened as he saw that the blond was kneeling in a puddle of blood and withered roses. _"Why didn't you save me, Mattie…you could have saved…me…"_ What Matthew thought to be Alfred's voice decomposed, and the blond turned slowly, eyes bleeding and gaping dark holes, mouth a gaping dark hole. The figure walked forward to hold Matthew, as if lovingly, but his face was just too horrid for the boy to believe good intentions. He tried to run, but his feet were grounded in place. He tried to scream but no sound came out. And just as Alfred came closer Matthew shot up quickly, mouth open in a loud, horrified scream. Tears streaming down his face as he whimpered in terror of the horrifying nightmare.

Ivan had just gotten in bed after dressing in his usual sleepwear, a loose pair of boxers, and lay down to sleep when he heard a terrifying scream. He shot up and tore off the heavy sheets, running from his room to Matthew’s and yanking the door open, too tense and worried to care about knocking. He stilled by the entrance once he saw that there was nothing strange in the room but he was still cautious “Matthew…Matthew…” he called again to get the terrified man to look at him, his heart breaking as he saw the tears flowing freely down his face “Matthew” he called again softly “What’s wrong?”

Matthew panted quickly, his voice breaking softly when he tried to speak. He rushed out of bed to the concerned man, falling into his arms as he cried "I…I had a really bad nightmare…" He sounded like a terrified child as he clutched Ivan's shoulders protectively. "It sc-scared me…" he whimpered into the other's skin. "…I'm sorry…for waking you…" His body and voice trembled as he remembered the awful face in the nightmare.

Ivan held him gently, headless of his state of undress, as he rested a large hand on the other’s head, smoothing the sweat mussed locks back into place “You’re awake now, you will be ok.” He rested his other hand on Matthew’s back and looked down at him with a sympathetic smile “I’m just glad I heard you.”

"Yeah…" Matthew nodded, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. He was glad to be comforted by the man. "Thank you, Ivan…" he smiled weakly up at him, sniffling.

Ivan lifted his hand and wiped a stray tear that had been missed “Your welcome” he said with a smile. “Are you ready to try to sleep again? If you need me, my door will be open” he finished with a feather-light kiss to his forehead. “Goodnight and sleep well…” he said turning to turn back to head back to his room.

Matthew blushed at the soft kiss on his forehead, Ivan's soft lips brushing over his skin. The honey blond got back into his bed, not wanting to keep the man up. "Ok" he said, and got back into the bed. He didn't want to seem childish or forward by asking the man to lay beside him so that he could fall asleep faster, so he reluctantly watched him walk away, and laid his head on the pillow, closing his eyes.

Ivan slowed his pace but the other wasn’t following so he regretfully returned to his bed and laid down, ears alert to any sounds that may come from the guest room, and settled down again with a small piece of hope that he would wake to a companion in his bed.

Matthew tossed and turned in his tangled mass of sheets and red silk, trying desperately to get back to sleep but to no avail. He waited for two hours, wondering if the sun would come up if he waited long enough. But it stayed dark, being only about 1:00 in the morning. Matthew sighed, getting up from his bed and walking next door to Ivan's room. And the door was open, just like he'd said. Matthew tapped on the door frame lightly "Ivan…?"

Ivan had fallen asleep long before his little visitor decided to call. He rolled over and peered at Matthew before answering with a heavily accented “Yes Matthew?”

Matthew looked at the slumbering man in the bed; a shiver ran up his spine at the thick Russian accent coated in sleep. "I'm sorry to be a bother but I…I can't sleep…" He looked over at the Russian "May I please…sleep in here tonight?"

Ivan smiled as the timid man spoke and pulled down the sheets on the corner of the bed closest to the door “Come, please” he said welcoming the other into his bed happily and hopefully welcoming him into his arms as well. As Matthew climbed in he pulled the heavy sheet over them both, his hand resting just below his shoulder where the edge of the sheet rested. “Is the lack of clothes alright?” he asked wondering about his lack of covering aside from boxers and Matthew’s dress in just a long shirt. 

Matthew nodded, laying his head softly against Ivan's pillows. He was thankful to the man for not turning him away. Actually, Ivan seemed eager. "I'm sorry that I woke you…" He felt the man's hand at the start of his arm and noticing the closeness, pulled nervously on the shirt. It was still pulled down but he did it unconsciously, not really knowing where else to place his hands. "I thought I'd be able to get back to sleep but…" he trailed off, looking into the violet irises again and wandering away from reality, as if in a trance.

Ivan noticed the nervousness and scooted back with a knowing smile “It’s perfectly alright, there’s enough room in my bed for you” he chuckled, quieting down as he saw the other seemingly drift away on glazed and lidded eyes “If you still can’t sleep…I know of something that might help, if you trust me that much…”

"What do you mean?" Matthew asked, confused. His lavender eyes blinked softly, adjusting to the darkness again.

“It’s an old trick that uses the body’s natural reactions. You may or may not have noticed but if you orgasm your body relaxes and you will more easily fall asleep” Ivan said simply with an almost clinical tone to try to keep Matthew from getting too concerned with the prospect of the offer.

Matthew felt the warmth creeping over his cheeks and the hot blush tinting his stomach at the word. Orgasm… He had heard it a few times before, especially in health classes but…hearing Ivan say it… His breath stilled as his heart sped up in his throat. He had never engaged in anything remotely sexual before. But he trusted the man, and perhaps distracting his mind from the fear and the guilt was not such a bad thing. "Ah…ok…" he said slowly, hesitantly "what do you…want me to do?"

Ivan smiled and counted it as a victory and seeing the nervousness and blushing that rivaled anything before, well, the word virgin came to mind and he chocked it up as another little victory. He tried to calm the other’s fears though “You don’t need to do anything” Ivan said leaning up and propping himself against the pillows “Just lean against me and I’ll take care of you” he finished with a smile, arms open to guide him to his chest.

Matthew, still a fathom of uncertainty within him, crept closer to the Russian, resting his arms against the other's chest as his gaze never strayed from the alluring, violet eyes. His face brightened a cherry red at his legs now touching Ivan's, and he looked away for a moment, wondering if this was okay… He looked back into those eyes, remembering his promise to take care of Matthew, and confided in the man, knowing he would not try to take advantage of him "Ah, Ivan…please be gentle with me."

Ivan’s smile widened a bit as the other faced him, typically with such an offer one would not look at the person so Matthew seemed more interested in him than he had initially thought and now he got to watch the cute little expressions. “I will” Ivan said softly “I’m going to move you a bit” he said, warning the other before gently, carefully spreading and positioning Matthew’s legs so that they rested over his own. He took a moment to appreciate the flushed and deeply breathing form inches from him. “I’m going to help you sleep; it is up to you whether this means anything more…” Ivan said cautiously as he lifted the hem of the light blue shirt that had been slipping up as Matthew move. A spike of arousal ran through him as he noticed the other truly wasn’t wearing anything under it but he didn’t allow himself to focus on it. He simply smiled and said “I’m starting…” before wrapping his hand gently around the soft flesh and started stroking in a slow, smooth rhythm.

 

Matthew's heart fluttered like a trapped bird in his throat as he looked down and felt a slight chill from his spread legs. He watched his own stomach and chest rise and fall. Another chill from the thickly accented words flowing casually and smoothly from the other's lips. Clearly the man had done this before but Matthew preferred to believe that Ivan actually wanted to help him get to sleep. He watched the other's eyes on him as he gasped at the cool fingers wrapping around the warm flesh of his length and beginning to caress him. He felt a prickling chill of arousal tear up his spine when he realized the man had seen his change in expression and heard his soft, surprised noise, feeling the voyeurism in his violet stare. He covered his mouth with his trembling hand to stifle any other embarrassing sounds from slipping out.

Ivan smiled as the other tried to hide the little moans and gasps spilling forth but he said nothing despite wanting to hear more. He kept quiet through the process as he felt Matthew harden in his grip and he tightened his hand a bit in response, his thumb swiping over the sluggishly leaking tip. He used the fluid it increase his speed a bit, alternating his gaze from the surprisingly long cock to the flushed face, half covered by a hand. He felt himself start to react but tried to will it away, while it wasn’t too obvious Ivan could still feel himself being affected by the petite blond.

Matthew felt foreign waves of pleasure washing over him with each swift and slightly rough jerk of the other's hand. Pearls of white beaded down the sensitive organ, slipping down Ivan's hand and onto Matthew's widely spread thighs. He felt as if he was falling as his hips bucked violently with the intense and strange motions, and clutched one hand up against the head board to steady himself. The other hand gripped Ivan's chest as the lavender eyes were half lidded and Matthew's lips parted, spewing out mewls and moans in his current exploitation by the other of the student's unconscious desires. And Matthew was in such pleasure that he thought he heard a ringing far off, and his eyes widened as he began to recognize the tone. "I-Ivan…my pho-ne…" he moaned breathlessly.

Ivan slowed to give him a better chance to speak “Do you want me to stop or finish you?” he asked politely, voice deepened a bit by the lust tinting his tone as he wondered who on Earth would be calling the young man at nearly 1:30 am.

"It's…probably—Gilbert…" Matthew looked out the door into the darkness towards the guest room. He knew it must be important for him to call at such a strange hour.

Ivan took a deep breath to resolve the sudden tension and his hand sped up the slightest bit “It is your decision…” he said trying to keep his tone normal despite being interrupted by the little musical rival Matthew was entertaining. He of course didn’t want Matthew to leave but it was important not to make him feel forced in anyway, he wanted trust…not fear from the light-eyed beauty.

Matthew knew it was urgent. Perhaps one could call it intuition, but he could merely tell, by the way that his phone rang. There was a sense of insistence that no one else could have possibly caught on to… But he felt so terribly torn between the pleasure and the sense of responsibility and duty that he felt with his Prussian friend, as if he had a second chance… "I need…t—to answer…" Matthew panted at the hastier stroking that Ivan's hand used. The feeling was certainly good to him but he had to help Gilbert over himself…he had to.

Ivan smiled a bit, a sad note colouring his features as he let go of the panting blond “Alright, I’ll be here if you decide to return” he said resting the precum covered hand on the bed next to his own leg as the other rested on his lap, helping to obscure his reaction to the sights and sounds of Matthew.

Matthew panted as he slid off of the bed, and ran into the room, without responding to the other. Gilbert—the phone—he had to get to Gilbert—answer the phone, which was still ringing quietly in his bag. He dug through it, fishing for the phone frantically, and pulled it out. He clicked a button, and put the phone up to his ear "H-hello?"  
On the other end the Prussian's voice came through, a drunken mixture of laughing and crying. "Maddeh! Hehy! …Ah wenout wissum…hic buddehz…toohk ma hic crrrr… hahaha…"  
Matthew nearly had a heart attack as he heard the man's tone. His eyes widened in worry. "Where are you?!!"  
"Ah'm…ohn da side a road…hic kesesese..byh tha skhrool…"  
"I'll be there in a minute—don't move!" Matthew said panicking at that information. He changed back into his clothes, and hurried back to Ivan's room. "Ivan, please, you have to help! Gilbert is on the side of the road—he was out drinking again…"

While Matthew was in the other room Ivan kept his ears trained on the urgent voice as he brought his hands down to relieve some of the pressure that had built up during their little play. He sighed breathily as he stroked himself, quickly coming to a full hardness but regretfully stopping and tucking himself back in as he heard the urgency with which Matthew came. He entertained the thought of showing his state to Matthew but the mood had already been ruined so he simply pulled the sheet over himself when Matthew came in and responded with a controlled, if slightly roughened, tone. “Alright, just give me a moment to dress. I will meet you downstairs.”

Matthew had stopped in the doorway, seeing Ivan under the sheets. The honey blond's own arousal was still slightly visible—but only slightly. It would fade and he had to get this whole mess with Gilbert was sorted out. Matthew had slung his bag over his shoulder, a grin of pure gratitude spread over his face. "Oh, thank you so much, Ivan!" the boy replied before running downstairs.

Ivan met the smile with a nod as the other disappeared down the hall. He sighed softly and tossed the heavy sheets down revealing a wet patch on the black boxers. He pulled himself out of the slit in the front and recalled their earlier activities, bringing himself to completion after a few minutes with a deep, soft groan of the other’s name. Afterward he stood and cleaned himself up but not before getting a small taste of the younger’s fluid still coating his hand, smiling to himself at the slick, salty taste. He dressed quickly and met with the anxious blond downstairs. He grabbed his coat and keys and turned to Matthew “Ready?”

Matthew turned to him "Yes" he replied softly, smiling weakly at the man. "Thank you so much for doing this, Ivan. It means a lot." Apologizing and thanking were all that Matthew knew at the moment.

Ivan responded with a small relaxed smile “It’s alright, I understand.” They left to Ivan’s car and got in “You’ll have to lead the way once we reach the city.”

"Okay" Matthew responded, smoothing back his hair from his forehead, now slick with sweat. He watched as the streets came alive, the tall branches transformed into buildings, illuminating the streets with signs and lights, the stars which were so visible in the country were snuffed out subtly. The student directed the man which way to turn and kept an eye out for his Prussian friend, Ivan aiding the search by turning on his high beams. "There!" Matthew pointed nearly jumping out of his seat "on the edge of the sidewalk!"

Ivan stopped the car near the immobile mass on the sidewalk and let Matthew hop out to aid him. He waited for a moment before deciding he would rather be out with Matthew incase the drunk decided to do something untoward the innocent man. He parked next to the walkway and got out, returning to Matthew’s side quietly.

 

Gilbert was sprawled out on the pavement like a morbid insect on its back, murmuring to himself and laughing as he turned his head to see Ivan's car approaching. He cursed, squinting and shielding his eyes from the bright headlights. Matthew walked up to the Prussian, bending down beside him to help him stand, checking for any injuries or wounds. "Hey, Gilbert…are you okay? You're not in pain or anything?"  
"Maddeh…nein I'm gut…ahm…" the Prussian then proceeded to vomit on the pavement, turning his face from his friend.  
Matthew punched him in the shoulder after giving the bile a disgusted look "You idiot! What the heck were you thinking?!! You said you would stop this!!!" His voice was shrill, breaking occasionally with anger as he pulled one arm over the man's shoulder and dragged his limp legs along the pavement. He turned back to the Russian behind him. "Ivan, I am so sorry. Thank you so much for doing this. I'll be alright walking from here—the apartments are just a few blocks." Gilbert cried, sobbing some apologies to Matthew.

Ivan glanced between the two “Are you sure you don’t need help?” he asked, not comfortable with leaving Matthew with a drunken man who had expressed interest in him.

Matthew adjusted the Prussian's weight and smiled thinly at Ivan. "Ah, he should be okay…he is pretty harmless when he gets like this" he reassured the Russian that everything was fine.

Ivan eyed the two carefully; a bit put-off by the fact that Matthew had been so worked up and in his arms and then it was torn apart by a child who couldn’t hold his alcohol. “Alright… But if you need me, call me the instant something comes up. Otherwise I’ll be here tomorrow for the practice. Good luck with both Him and your role” Ivan said, resisting the urge to kiss the other farewell in the presence of the white haired man ‘No need to give him ideas’ Ivan reasoned. He just hoped that the other couldn’t smell the sweat and hints of arousal still lingering on the youngest’s skin. “Goodnight and don’t hesitate to call…” Ivan said as he walked back to his car and got in.

"Good night, and thank you again!" Matthew called after the man. "I'll call as soon as we are both settled in!" He became a bit annoyed with the Prussian, wondering how it was that someone was so reckless and irresponsible with alcohol. He had lectured the man all the way back to the apartment complex and gotten him safely inside and into his bed. He stood by his side, asking if he needed anything.  
The drunken student had noticed Matthew's arousal and his disheveled appearance. His ruby eyes widened, "…Maddeh…wh whyr du all…sweaty…" He stopped in mid-sentence, putting the pieces together. "…Y…yur screwin…arnt ya…?" his eyes were filmed with drunken tears.  
"I—no! Gil! Just go to bed—you're wasted!" Matthew said, a bit embarrassed by Gilbert's statement.  
The other clutched his shirt, sobbing into it, slurred arrays of words dribbling from his mouth. "Ah know it…yur screwin hihm! Thought y…lovd meee…"  
Matthew angrily pulled Gilbert off, saying good night to the man before leaving his apartment, and going to his own. He threw off the sweaty clothes, and got out his phone. He typed in the number on the piece of paper and waited for Ivan to answer.

Ivan was just leaving the city when he got a call and pressed a button near his radio to answer it while he drove “Matthew?” he asked and continued upon getting a confirmation “Did you make is back to your place?”

"Yes, I made it back safely" Matthew sighed softly, a bit tired now with all of the goings on today, and the rehearsal tomorrow. "Thank you for everything, Ivan…"

Ivan heard the sigh and mistook it for a yawn “I’m glad you’re safe” he said with a small smile “there is no need to thank me, I am just happy that I am able to help you.”

There were a few minutes of silence on both sides of the phone, for lack of either of the men knowing what to say to the other. Matthew was the one to break the silence. "Ah, I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Ivan smiled and shook his head slowly to himself “Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow. It’s at your school yes? The time was 8:30?

Matthew nodded, remembering the time. "Yes, that's right, at 8:30 pm." He smiled gently, softly smacking a hand to his forehead for being so scatter brained "Good night, Ivan. I hope you sleep well…"

“Thank you and I wish the same for you, good night and good luck” Ivan said smiling distantly as he came up to his house and switching to his actual phone before turning off the car.

"Thank you" Matthew replied before hanging up. The honey blond gave an exhausted sigh, dropping his shoulders as he drug his feet to the bathroom. He ran a cool bath for himself and stepped in, sitting for a while to relax. When the tension eased he got out, unplugging the drain before slipping on his pajamas and crawling into bed, falling asleep immediately. His quiet snoring filled the room.

Ivan put his phone away and went inside, taking off his coat and hanging it on the hanger next to the door before returning to his room and undressing. He put everything away seeing as everything was still clean and got into bed. As he settled he smiled at the brief flash of images from earlier before brushing them away and going to sleep, hopefully there would be another chance and soon he thought before drifting away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love exploiting natural physiological reactions as an excuse for pervy things!
> 
> This was my first little story and one of my earliest rps so constructive criticism and comments in general are greatly appreciated. This is especially true for tips on the best way to tweak the standard roleplay format to a story format. And, hey, if you have any particularly memorable points then share them, I'd love to hear your opinions.
> 
> ~Poison


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning seemed to drag on for hours on end. Matthew had woken up at about 10:30, fully rested from the exhaustion of the previous night. After breakfast, he sat on the couch flipping through the channels in pajamas until 12:00 before deciding to shower and change into the clothes he would wear to the rehearsal, deciding on a white v neck shirt, gray cardigan, and black jeans with converse. He went over his script from about 1:00 to 6:30, deciding to walk over to the auditorium a few minutes after. No one had yet arrived so Matthew sat on the edge of the stage, reading over the script again. He heard footsteps walking up to him after the door opened.  
"Mattie? Hey, you're here early" Gilbert said to the other. He had a hand held up to his forehead as he groaned softly at his hangover.  
Matthew glared at him angrily and then continued reading, ignoring the man.  
"Mattie, I'm sorry about last night—it got out of control! If I had known those guys were gonna do that—" He stopped, realizing the uselessness of his excuses "I am sorry, Mattie. I shouldn't have been so stupid. I promise—I'll never drink again!"  
"You already said that, Gilbert" Matthew reminded him. He was still very upset with the Prussian. He was definitely not in the mood for the other today. Matthew looked towards the door, wondering if Ivan might decide to show up early.

Ivan started his day at the usual time of about nine despite the lack of sleep from the night before. He ate and dressed before working a bit on forming a new story before time flew by and he decided to head out early for a good seat. He arrived at about seven, hoping that the other was already there and not too busy to chat. He walked in and quickly found him sitting on the stage, though his eyes narrowed a bit as he spied Matthew’s friend chatting with him. Though, as he watched, he saw his little dove turn away from the other and smiled before starting to walk down to the stage.

Matthew turned his head in the direction that the Russian was walking in, and his face brightened up a bit more. "Ivan! You're early" he smiled at the man, hopping off of the stage to meet him near the closest set of theatre seats.

Ivan smiled and chuckled a bit, happy with the enthusiasm with which he was received. “Of course, I had hoped to see you beforehand and get a chance to talk to you a bit; as long as I’m not interrupting you of course.”

"No—not at all!" Matthew shook his head.  
Gilbert raised a brow at the tall stranger talking to Mattie. He looked him over, sizing him up, before he was able to pinpoint the man's intentions, from the expression on his face. He walked up to the two. "Hey, Mattie, who is your friend?"  
Matthew looked at Gilbert with an unspoken warning to be nice to Ivan. "Gilbert, this is Ivan Braginsky. He has been my acting coach and critic over the last few weeks. And he drove down here last night to help me get you out of harm's way."  
Gilbert stepped up to the man cautiously, giving a slight smile of one corner of his mouth turned upward and the other turned down. He extended his hand to the man, making sure to look him in his eyes "Nice to meet you, Ivan."

Ivan smiled, a calm air coming off of him as he took the kid’s hand in a firm grip “A pleasure” he replied, eyes flashing in a silent threat. He could see every little nuance in the shorter man’s thoughts. He was trying to come off as intimidating to scare him away from Matthew but the other had no idea what he was up against.

Gilbert subtly removed his hand from the man's tight grasp and placed his arm around Matthew, who shot him a look of confusion but then looked back at Ivan. "So, Ivan, was it? Where did you meet Mattie?" Gilbert swallowed hard still trying to look like a protective, strong figure who was much closer to Matthew than this guy could have ever hoped to be and ignore the silent threat in the piercing violet stare.

Ivan kept his gaze trained on Gilbert “I met this little star at a café we frequent and we have gotten very close since then” he said. He took in Matthew looking between the two and sent him a look to reassure him. He glanced back at Gilbert for his next move and resisted playing on the same field as he watched Gilbert pull Matthew to him. Ivan’s eyes flicked over the arm holding Matthew and his own hand twitched a bit, resisting the urge to tear the arm off. He smiled again, this time, mostly because of his own thoughts.

Gilbert's brow furrowed at the sly smile he received from the mysterious man, his own half smirk fading from his face. But he decided to raise the bar a bit. "Well that's nice" he said, playing with a strand of the younger man's blond hair.

Ivan resisted laughing at the slightly uncomfortable look Matthew had gotten in response to the growing tension between the three but he couldn’t resist playing along; looking to checkmate the white king. “Ah, I had almost forgotten to ask you your opinion on the shirt you were wearing. It slipped my mind last night with everything that happened. What did you think of the material?” he asked, pleased with the look he was receiving from the ruby-eyed man.

Matthew had a mortified blush in his cheeks, lavender eyes flying open wide in disbelief at Ivan's words.  
Gilbert's red eyes widened as he stared at the man. How dare he say something like that? He knew Mattie, and he had never even done anything with anyone before, let alone a stranger. He moved closer toward the older man "...The fuck did you just say??" he growled as he locked eyes to show that he was not afraid of the Russian. His fists tightened but remained at his sides while Matthew just watched in discomfort.

Ivan shook his head a bit in an exaggerated way as one might to a small child who just didn’t understand a simple concept “I was asking Matthew’s opinion on my shirt, you jumping in is just rude” he finished staring down the fiery gaze locked with his own.

Matthew swallowed hard, deciding to interject before the situation got worse. "Ivan let me stay at his house last night after practice but it was short notice, so I had to borrow something to wear to bed from him so he gave me his shirt." He explained, looking between the two. "It was very nice..." he replied to Ivan, a slight blush in his cheeks. He shrugged Gilbert's arm off of him and stepped away from both men. "Why don't you two find some seats? The rehearsal will start soon." With that statement and request, Matthew went back up onstage behind the now closed curtain. A few people started filing in and taking up rows.  
Gilbert glared at Ivan and decided to keep an eye on him. He followed to where he was sitting.

“I know you’ll do well” Ivan said with a true smile to Matthew and watched him leave. He found a seat in the front row, wanting to keep Matthew as close as possible, not caring if his height hindered others. He kept an eye on the red-eyed man and saw him following.

Gilbert took the seat beside the other, still glaring at him narrowly from out of the corners of his eyes. He looked up at Matthew on the stage, hoping that he didn't anger the honey blond too much. Matthew appeared on the stage after a few minutes. Professor Bonnefoy believed there was no need for an introduction since it was simply a rehearsal. From the first word to the last, the young man's performance was entirely captivating as well as an undeniable improvement. He showed not even a trace of fear and the entire act, with the help of the other actor, was well strung together like a song in two part harmony. But Matthew was definitely the one who stole the show, and as the understudy, was even more potent and dynamic than the initial student who had been cast. The student smiled brightly as he received a standing ovation from the audience and walked down the small staircase leading to the stage and walked to where Ivan and Gilbert sat.

Ivan stood immediately and went to meet him near the stage. He grabbed him pulled him into a swinging hug, lifting his feet off of the ground a few inches as he did so “You did wonderfully, I’m so proud! You improved even more since last night” Ivan said excitedly, the energy of the situation getting the better of him in the moment.

Matthew met his eyes, smiling as Ivan pulled him into a tight hug. His surprise covered his face at being lifted and swung by the strong Russian. "Thank you…" he patted his back with both hands; that was all he could really do at the moment.  
Gilbert walked up to the scene, his face and blood vessels frayed at the Russian's seemingly 'hands-on' nature. His red eyes narrowed. "Woah, careful, Ivan. Don't hurt the little starlet" he gave the man a hard slap on the back, disguised as a harmless friendly greeting.

Ivan chuckled knowingly “I may be big but I can be gentle. Right Matthew?” Ivan asked brushing a stray hair out of his face and behind his ear.

Matthew felt his face and ears prickled and reddened at the other's words. A few quick flashes of the previous night played in his mind, and he even remembered the sounds of his own moans. He covered his face in the Russian's broad shoulder "I-Ivan…"  
Gilbert watched in anger, seething with jealousy at the way Mattie let the man so easily touch him without a single protest.

Ivan chuckled mentally at the venom writhing in the ruby-red eyes but he said nothing, content for the time being with the queen in his arms. He called ‘Check’ mentally but the ‘Mate’ would have to wait until Matthew made his decision. He leaned in and whispered low in Matthew’s ear “Your friend is jealous” he said with a teasing tone that only Matthew could hear.

"I don't want to make him jealous, Ivan…stop it…" He didn't want to hurt Gilbert, and he could feel the Prussian's bright red eyes boring into the Russian's back. He frowned slightly, hoping that the two men could have gotten along.  
"Mattie, how about I take you out to dinner tonight so we can celebrate your victory?" Gilbert suggested.

“Alright” Ivan whispered and pulled away a bit, giving Matthew his space when he saw the small ray of disappointment in his eyes. He could understand that Gilbert, as rude as he was, was a longtime friend of Matthew…still…he didn’t have to be happy about it. Ivan had an idea that would hopefully make a small amends with Matthew and perhaps put him in a better light than Gilbert “How about I treat you both to the restaurant of your choosing?” he offered with a small smile geared towards Matthew.

Matthew looked back at the man, smiling at the kind gesture, while Gilbert's offer quickly evaporated. "Ivan, that's really sweet of you…" he hugged the man gently before looking behind him at Gilbert.  
"Yeah…danke, Ivan" he spat sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he walked with the student and the Russian.

Ivan returned the hug and followed after Matthew. He felt he had already won for the most part so he was content to relax a bit and let Gilbert play his childish game. “What are you two in the mood for?” he asked lightly.

"Russian…" Gilbert muttered.  
"What?" Matthew asked.  
"I was just saying maybe Russian food" Gilbert explained to Mattie, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He glared daggers at Ivan when the younger man turned though.  
"Ivan, why don't you pick?" Matthew suggested "I don't really have a preference."

“I am fine with anything and it’s supposed to be a reward for you but if you really can’t think of anything, perhaps we should go with Gilbert’s choice. There is a small Russian restaurant not too far from here that I’ve heard is quite good though I haven’t been myself. How does that sound?” he asked as they walked out of the large school theatre and to Ivan’s car.

Gilbert grumbled in response, opening the car door and getting in, pulling Mattie in as well.   
Ah, sounds great!" Matthew said to Ivan before Gilbert shut the door.

Ivan narrowed his eyes in response to Gilbert pulling Matthew with him into the backseat before getting in himself. “Alright we have a plan” he responded a bit cryptically as he started the car and drove the few minutes it took to get to the small restaurant and parked. He got out as the other two did and they headed inside.

 

The waitress greeted them kindly, her soft pink eyes shining in the candlelight as she looked at them. "Welcome to Balalaika's. How many are in your party?" her soft voice held a thick Russian accent.

“Thank you, there are three and we will take a table in the back, thank you” Ivan asked, allowing his accent to come through thicker than usual. They were led to a four person table and sat down as she handed them their menus and took their drink orders with Ivan requesting a black tea.

"Da, sir, I will have it for you in a few minutes."  
Matthew ordered tea with milk as he always bought in the coffee shop with Ivan, and Gilbert ordered water. The Prussian figured it was time for another go around. He glared at the Russian, "So, Ivan, what is the story behind your big car there?" Gilbert asked slyly, jerking his thumb in the direction of the park. "Compensating for something…?" he sipped his water, eyes still staring daggers at Ivan.

Ivan smiled “I’m glad you like it, Matthew certainly seemed to the first time he saw it” he retaliated. “It’s something I bought to treat myself after one of my earlier books did better than expected” he answered a bit more casually reminding himself to not fall into the word play again.

Gilbert was determined to get the other to a point where he couldn't possibly save face so Mattie could see this creep's actual agenda. "Hmph…well it's a nice ride but…I think you may have missed a spot on the paint job." He was referring to the mysterious dark red streak on the side of the car. It was not easily seen, but few things got passed the skeptic Prussian, especially in a jealous rage similar to now.  
Matthew kept his glass of tea mixed with milk held up to his lips even when he wasn't drinking so he would have an excuse for not taking sides with either man.

Ivan tilted his head a bit “I’m surprised you noticed though I do guarantee it’s a better sight in the day. In the light, at the right angle, the car colours flip. There’s a red sheen to the black normally but the black will turn a deep red and the strip of red around it now will turn black.”

Gilbert nodded, thinking he had the Russian trapped but then completely lost him. He gave a confused look, wondering if he should ask Ivan to repeat himself before going over it in his mind, and then remembering seeing an advertisement for such a paint job on tv a few nights ago. "Oh, right…chameleon paint."

“Yes, it was a special mix an old friend did for me” Ivan said with a smile as he drank a bit of his tea and the waitress returned to take their meal orders. Ivan glanced at the menu and saw a dish he hadn’t had in a long time. He spoke as he handed the menu to her “Pirozhki and shashlyk please.”

Matthew ordered, seeing the meat filled pastry dumplings and thinking they sounded delicious. "I'll have Pelmeni with smetana, please." He said in a Russian accent tinted with French undertones. Gilbert ordered last and decided on the Maslenitsa Pancake, passing his and Mattie's menus to the waitress.  
"Very good. I will be back with your orders" she smiled and walked away.

Ivan found the accent Matthew donned adorable and smiled a bit at him from across the table “Good choices, I do hope you enjoy your food.”

Matthew nodded, smiling softly at the other, and Gilbert rolled his eyes, taking another sip of water. The honey blond student looked around the restaurant, taking in all the vivid details for a few minutes, and realizing that there was music playing the back ground which he immediately recognized. "Hmm, Prokofiev, isn't it?... Romeo and Juliet. Number thirteen, Dance of the Knights. It's such a beautiful piece…one of my favorites."  
Gilbert found the music to be incredibly off putting. "It's very loud." Gilbert stated, just as the music quieted towards the middle of the arrangement.  
He also loved the beautiful velvet peach table cloths and the arrangement of carnations on every table. There were also paintings of Russian scenery on the walls, tapestries of cityscapes in places like Moscow. The dome ceiling was decorated with cherubims and seraphims in a celestial heaven, washed with pastel colors.

Ivan tuned into the music and while he didn’t recognize it he enjoyed the varying paces that kept it from being monotonous. “Perhaps the next piece will be more to your tastes” Ivan offered in response to the curt comment. He was actually very pleased with the place and made a mental note to return again in the near future, without Gilbert.

The waitress returned with their orders, placing each large white plate in front of the men. "Is there anything else I can bring for you, sir?" She asked Ivan, filling their glasses again with their selected beverages.

Ivan shook his head “Thank you for your service.” He looked down at his plate and grabbed his fork, taking the first bite and swallowing, nodding his approval of the dish.

Matthew took a butter knife from the napkin beside his plate and spread the smetana over the Pelmeni and then cut into the dumpling with his fork, tasting the savory meat with the dollop of decadent and rich cream. He made casual conversation with the Russian and the Prussian about the music and the atmosphere of the restaurant between bites of food, trying to veer away from any questions or topics that might cause another disagreement or argument between the other two men. He and Gilbert finished their meals, and Matthew thanked Ivan for his benevolence. "This really is a lovely place." He stated, finishing his tea and milk.

Ivan finished not long after the other two and set his fork down on his plate. He looked over to Matthew finishing his drink and smiled “I’m glad you enjoyed it” he said before glancing at Gilbert “and I hope you enjoyed the food at least seeing as the music wasn’t to your tastes. Do either of you want anything else?”

Matthew shook his head "No thank you, Ivan. I couldn't possibly…" The student found himself as full as he had been when he had dinner with Ivan the previous night.  
Gilbert looked at Ivan, taking Mattie's hand and said "Would you please excuse us for a moment?" before getting up and walking to the restroom, where he could speak with the French-Canadian in private.

Ivan nodded and waited for the two to return, curious and maybe more than a little wary of Matthew being pulled out of his sight but he would wait for their return and for whatever happened afterward.

Mattie let go of Gilbert's hand, glaring, "Gil, what is this about?" he demanded, a bit embarrassed of the way the man was acting in front of their gracious host.  
Gilbert sighed, running a hand through his hair "Mattie, this guy is bad news. I don't think you should go anywhere with him, I mean…he's a stranger! Y-you don't know anything about him!"  
Matthew rolled his eyes at the man's antics "Gilbert, Ivan is a very kind person. He may be a bit mysterious, but…he has a very giving heart and I enjoy his company. And…" he added, "you haven't exactly been a polite person to him."  
Gilbert's shoulders dropped as he felt that the man had the other under some sort of spell "I have my reasons…all I'm saying is—just please be careful." His ruby eyes begged as he pleaded with his friend. He cared for Mattie very much and would never forgive himself if anything happened to him.  
Matthew sighed, "Everything is fine," he patted Gilbert's shoulder "no need for you to worry…" They started walking out of the restroom and back towards the table.

Ivan perked up as the two returned “Is everything alright?” he asked as they sat down and upon getting the affirmative he spoke again “Are you two ready to leave?” he asked noticing the calm frustration on Matthew’s face and the worry on Gilbert’s.

Matthew smiled weakly at the Russian "Ah, we are ready if you are."  
Gilbert nodded and then turned his head from Ivan, red eyes still fixed on him for a moment before falling to the table again. Gilbert sighed, "Thank you for the dinner, Ivan. I…know we didn't get off to the best start but…" For lack of anything better to say, he put out his hand for the Russian to take, as if asking for a truce. It was as if he knew he'd lost the queen, and was coming to terms with being only a knight.

Ivan smiled a true smile and shook his hand firmly “You put up a good game” he said not sure if the other understood but accepting that, between them at least, this game was his victory. ‘Now that the King has fallen, all that’s left is to take the Queen’ Ivan thought to himself. They stood and left together, walking to Ivan’s car.

Gilbert walked behind the two, trying his best to seem defeated and forlorn. But Ivan had no idea that the game had only just begun. There was no way in hell that he was going to give up Mattie that easily, especially to someone he did not approve of. He decided that it would be best to lay low, let Mattie have his freedom, but keep a watch for any warning signs. Even if the other didn't want him as a boyfriend, he would still protect him and look after him, as he promised his brother if anything should ever happen to Alfred. And something had. He wasn't going to run away with his tail between his legs because of this Alpha's seemingly threatening bark. He got in the car, and to a bit of his surprise, Mattie followed. Perhaps he hadn't lost him completely yet.

Ivan was a bit put off by Matthew getting in the back with Gilbert but brushed it off. Though…he did think better than to ask Matthew to stay the night again “I know how to get to the school but from there you will have to lead me to the apartments where you both stay” Ivan explained as he started the car and retraced the street back to the main entrance of the school.

Matthew sat up and leaned forward a bit, directing Ivan. "Once you get to the next light on Crown Street, take a left…and then you'll see a sign that says 'Cherrywood Apartments', and you'll enter the code 32019. And we can walk up from there." Matthew explained to the other. Gilbert laid back in his seat and closed his eyes, taking a small nap. The constant competing had made him a bit tired.

Ivan drove up to the automated gate and entered the code, letting the gate open a bit before driving through but before Matthew leaned back to rouse Gilbert from his nap Ivan kissed cheek lightly “Goodnight and sleep well” he said with a smile.

Matthew touched a hand lightly to the cheek that had been kissed, and turned a light pink that spotted the light freckles over his nose. "Ah…thank you…" he whispered to the man. He gently shook Gilbert, who half-opened his eyes, looking at Mattie. "We're here." Matthew smiled before opening the door and taking off his seatbelt. "G-good night, Ivan" he replied to the Russian before stepping out. "I…hope you sleep well too…" He waited for Gilbert to get out and then the two turned to walk up the hill to the complex.

Ivan smiled and watched them go, wishing the blond was returning with him but he was happy that he was able to push the envelope a bit further without Matthew getting upset. He made sure they made it to the complex and started the drive back home, content with the day’s happenings.

Matthew walked in the direction of his floor, looking back as he noticed Gilbert following. "Gil, your place is that way…" he pointed, wondering if maybe it slipped the Prussian's mind.  
"I know but…I…" Gilbert looked away, as if he might find the words he meant to use somewhere.  
Matthew noticed the subtle dullness in the ruby eyes and went back, putting his arm around the man.  
"Come on…you can stay over tonight…and we can watch movies since tomorrow is Saturday." He smiled, leading them both up to the door. He turned the key and opened it, and when he and Gilbert were inside he closed it again. He went to the cabinet and put a bag of popcorn in the microwave, grabbing sodas from the fridge for the two. He turned on the television, settled on Kill Bill. After the popcorn finished, Matthew gave the bag to Gilbert and went to his room for pajamas, grabbing a large t shirt for his friend, which the Prussian wore with his boxers. They cuddled on the couch, falling asleep next to each other under the tv whose light lit up their faces and the apartment every few minutes.

Ivan returned to him home a while later and washed up, going over the day in his mind and remembering the little details, most notably the performance and ending the night with a kiss. He was pleased with the progress but would hold off from too much more until Matthew made himself clear and of course he would still keep an eye out for the little King; the battle of the day may be over but the war wasn’t done until the Queen had decided. He finished his shower and slipped on a pair of clean boxers and slipped into bed, reading a bit of the book he had been reading the previous night before setting it down and going to sleep.

 

Matthew woke up to the soft sound of the rain against the window. He patted Gilbert's head, trying to wake the man. "Gil, wake up…" The other whimpered, curling up against Matthew as he slept. The honey blond smiled, deciding to just let the man sleep for a while longer. He laid his head back down and closed his eyes.

Ivan woke early and decided to get up and start his day, starting first by making a decent breakfast. Once he had eaten and cleaned the dishes he went to his study to work.

Matthew cuddled with Gilbert on the couch as the hours passed.  
Sooner or later, the Prussian awoke, and seeing that Matthew was still asleep, made him some breakfast; pancakes and bacon with eggs, and orange juice. He woke the honey blond gently, smoothing his hair. "Mattie…? Here you go, time for breakfast…" Gilbert smiled and put the plate and glass on the coffee table.  
Matthew stretched his arms over head and let his legs stretch out. His lavender eyes blinked up at his friend, who sat beside him and ruffled his hair. He kissed his cheek happily. "Thanks, Gil…" Matthew turned on the television and started to eat the good food. The rain picked up slightly outside, padding down on the pavement and on the roof of the building.

Ivan spent the next several hours hashing out details for a new story, a romance. He whittled away the time figuring out the details to the plot, the characters, and the setting before deciding to break and finally have lunch. He set down his notes and went to the kitchen to heat something up, deciding on the stew he had made for Matthew.

Matthew decided that he wanted to treat Gilbert for lunch since his friend had made the delicious breakfast for him. He drove to the coffee shop that he usually met Ivan at. The little shop had very good sandwiches and such as well.

As Ivan ate he thought about Matthew and he wondered what the other was doing, hoping that at least in some part the other was thinking of him too. He finished and cleaned up before going to get dressed and do some little chores around the house.

Matthew sat at the table where he and Ivan usually did. He ordered a tea with milk and a pastrami sandwich on a type of French bread he recognized from previous trips to the market for groceries.  
Gilbert ordered a sandwich with sausages and cheeses on toasted bread, and a glass of water. The two students chatted lightly while they waited for their food, enjoying each other's company as the rain drizzled down outside. It wasn't long before they picked up their orders from the front counter and sat back down to enjoy their simple lunch. "That movie was pretty good last night" Gilbert said, taking a bite of his sandwich.  
"And how would you know?" Mattie smirked at him, drinking the beverage down to the middle of the cup. "You were watching your eyelids last night" he laughed.  
Gilbert smiled, putting his food down "Heh, yeah…" He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand "I guess I was, huh? But…I still got to spend time with you." He blushed a little, looking at the honey blond beside him.  
"It was nice" Matthew said to the Prussian, relaxing in his chair. He didn't feel nearly as nervous in front of Gilbert. He felt…pretty comfortable with him. Ivan was kind, but…Matthew found himself thinking so much, trying so hard to impress the man… He looked down a bit, sighing softly. Maybe…he should stop kidding himself and just be with the Prussian. 'Ivan doesn't need a shy, plain, clumsy kid like me…' he told himself. The other needed someone sophisticated and successful and beautiful, like himself… something Matthew desperately wanted and pretended to be in front of the Russian, but could never achieve.   
Gilbert looked at him, cocking his head to the side like a dog when it knows someone is upset "What's wrong, Mattie?"  
Matthew jumped subtly, shaking himself from his thoughts and looking up at Gil again "Huh? Oh, I ah—was just thinking…" he gave the man a weak smile.  
"Matts, don't look so sad, okay? You'll make me sad…" Gilbert made an exaggerated sad expression, moving closer to him. His hands went to Mattie's most ticklish spot, just beneath his underarms on his sides, and attacked. "Come on, turn that frown upside down…" he grinned, tickling the other.  
Matthew tried to keep from laughing as his sides were tickled "Haha Gil! Hee!—Ha—stop! We're in public—ahaha!"  
Gilbert laughed, tickling him even more "Smile, Mattie, smi-le! Come on!"  
Matthew moved all around in his chair, giggling at the tickling on his sides.

Ivan hoped that the kiss hadn’t pushed Matthew away but instead made it clear that Matthew was the one he wanted. It took a couple of hours to finish cleaning most of the rooms, not touching the study of course which was better as organized chaos. He debated on calling the young man but decided against it, not wanting to come off as demanding so he would wait and hope that the other would contact him or at least that they would meet again.

Matthew's eyes widened a bit as he suddenly remembered 'Wilted Rose' was still in his bag. "Ivan!" he gasped, going into his bag to get his phone as Gilbert lowered his hands.  
"What about Ivan?"  
Matthew scrolled up the touch screen to the other's name and swiped the call button. He waited for a few moments, listening to the dial tone in the background. He figured he could return the book today since he no longer needed it. After all, Professor Bonnefoy had informed him yesterday by email that there was a recasting in which Matthew's role as the understudy had been reversed due to his stellar improvement.

Ivan heard his phone and smiled, taking a moment to find it and answer “Yes Matthew?” he asked, pleased that the other made a move so soon.

"Hi, Ivan" Matthew greeted the other, getting up from the table for better reception.  
Gilbert sighed as his shoulders dropped and he sat back in his chair. It seemed that almost every time Mattie became somewhat interested in him, that Russian came up. He rested his cheek in his hand as his fingers tapped lightly on the table.  
"Ah, I just wanted to tell you that I am finished with the book. I can return it today, if you'd like." He looked out the window, watching the raindrops fall harder as he spoke into the receiver.

‘Ah’ Ivan thought ‘this is not quite what I wanted but it will be fine for now.’ “I am happy that it was able to help and while I would be fine with you keeping, if you wanted return it I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to seeing you again.”

Matthew's cheeks tinted a soft pink at those words. "Ah, okay, if you want I can bring it there, or I'm actually at Sophie's Cafe with Gilbert right now…I could wait for you and you could meet us here—or I could just bring it to your house—whatever you want!" Matthew added, not wanting to sound demanding to the man.

Ivan’s eyes narrowed, he knew not to count the little friend out of the game completely. He kept his tone even and light as he answered, a small smirk on his face as he started his next sentence “I can meet you there, just give me some time to get dressed and I’ll be there in about an hour” Ivan said; slightly frustrated about the distance he lived from the city. 

Matthew grinned at the man's pleasant tone of voice, nodding "Okay, I'll just be here then…I'll see you in an hour." He bounced a bit, quite excited to tell Ivan the news of why he no longer needed the novel, wondering for a moment if he should tell the other now, trying his best to keep his effervescence contained "Bye for now."

“See you soon” Ivan said and hung up after a moments paused revealed an answering silence. He went to his room to redress in something other than the worn and faded clothes that he used for cleaning. He stripped and decided on a casual outfit, a simple beige shirt and jeans, tossing it on before heading out. He entertained the thought of getting the other something but decided against it since he didn’t want to take up more time than necessary and he didn’t want to embarrass the timid blond.

Matthew lowered his phone, placing it in his pocket. He walked back to the table and sat down again beside Gilbert.  
The Prussian sighed "Great. I have to see that jerk again…"  
Mattie looked over at him, sipping his tea with milk. He put the cup down, lavender eyes meeting red ones. "Gil…you don't have to stay" he told the man "if you want you could wait in the car; it will only take a moment after all…"  
Gilbert picked up their empty plates and such, throwing them into a nearby garbage can "I don't like him. I'm sorry Mattie, I know he's supposed to be your friend and all but I don't like that guy…with his fancy car…his fancy clothes—"  
"You shouldn't judge by that Gilbert," Matthew corrected him, without acknowledging the fact that he was doing the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first little story and one of my earliest rps so constructive criticism and comments in general are greatly appreciated. This is especially true for tips on the best way to tweak the standard roleplay format to a story format. And, hey, if you have any particularly memorable points then share them, I'd love to hear your opinions.
> 
> ~Poison


	5. Chapter 5

Ivan drove along, enjoying the lighter clothes thanks to the unusually warm environment despite the late time of year. He didn’t have anywhere to be and he had gotten quite a bit done with his new story so the rest of the day would be dedicated to relaxing unless he suddenly got inspiration. He eventually arrived at the café and parked, walking in and finding Matthew immediately. He ordered tea, hot, and a slice of one of the cakes the café was famous for and went to sit at the table with the other two. “You seemed excited on the phone” Ivan started with a clever little smile “I take it that means the practice went well?”

"More than just well!" Matthew started, hoping the other would still be somewhat surprised "I got the lead!" Matthew smiled.  
Gilbert sat up, surprised at the news "Mattie that's great!" He opened his arms for a hug from the honey blond.

“That’s wonderful” Ivan said excitedly “I knew that you would; you have enormous talent.” He watched the two hug and dismissed it, he was truly happy for the man to be able to finally achieve a part of his dream “It’s only up from here, yes?”

"Yes" Matthew nodded as he and Gilbert let go of each other "definitely!" He reached down into his bag and handed the paperback novel to Ivan. "Thank you so much…I hope it wasn't too much trouble asking you to come here."

“Not at all” Ivan said taking the book and setting it on his leg “I had just finished eating lunch and a dessert from here was just the treat I wanted after cleaning up a bit.”

"Um…did—you sleep well last night?" Matthew asked, trying to make light conversation with the man.

“I did, though it was short; for whatever reason I woke much earlier than usual and went to work on a new story. What about you? How did you sleep?”

"I slept well…" Matthew smiled a bit, looking at the table for a moment and then back up to Ivan. He decided against telling the other about Gilbert's staying the night, lest an argument follow. He found it interesting that the Russian was working on a new story. "If you don't mind me asking, what is your story about?"

“I would be happy to tell you but I would like to get the details a little more solid before I said anything definitive but you have been an inspiration and…” Ivan glanced towards Gilbert “so have you…don’t worry, it’s positive” he finished with a chuckle.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, nose wrinkling as he looked at the man suspiciously, but held his breath. He didn't want to upset Mattie. Matthew twiddled his thumbs as he sat in front of the man, cheeks warming at the statement. He wondered what Ivan's subject could possibly entail to include himself. "Oh. I'm sure it will be great when you finish…" he offered positively.

“Thank you” Ivan said “I hope it will pan out but only time and work will tell.” Ivan saw that despite not wanting to start anything, the white-haired man was not exactly pleased so he offered another topic. “Matthew told me you got into Julliard, that’s a fantastic achievement. What are you planning to major in?”

Gilbert looked at Ivan, moving his hands to his lap. "I'm majoring in music. The judges seemed to like my rendition of the song for the audition and sent me an acceptance letter about a week later." He brightened up the slightest bit at the other's apparent interest but still refused to let his guard down. He would be civil for now.

Ivan smiled a bit as the other perked up a bit “When you get farther along in your major I can put a good word in with an acquaintance of mine. Have you heard of Roderich Edelstein?” Ivan asked.

Gilbert grinned a bit wider, eyes widening at the man's words "You know Roderich Edelstein?! He's—He's one of the best composers in the country! Of course I've heard of him!"  
Matthew grinned as well, pleased that the two men had finally found a common interest.

Ivan’s smile widened “We talk from time-to-time when he’s in the city. He travels often between here and his home back in Austria. He’s there now for at least another couple of months but when he returns I’ll mention you and we’ll see what happens.” Ivan was pleased that the other had, at least for now, dropped the animosity and he glanced at Matthew for a moment and saw a similar excitement.

"That is…wow! Thank you so much, Ivan!" Gilbert exclaimed, shaking Ivan's hand. Perhaps he misjudged the man.

Ivan was surprised with the handshake “No thanks are needed. If you do well, and considering Matthew’s faith in you, you will, it will be a reward. He praised the beauty of the piece you did and the world could use more music like that.”

Gilbert smiled brightly at the man, unaware of the constant compliments hiding the fact that the Russian was undoubtedly throwing him a bone to earn his trust like a stray dog. His ego being stroked, he almost entirely forgot about his odious feelings towards the other. Almost.

Ivan smiled and returned to drinking his cooling tea, speaking up for a moment between sips “On another note, I do recommend the cake” Ivan said eyes, flicking to the half-finished slice on the small plate.

"What kind of cake is it?" Matthew asked the Russian.

“A triple chocolate with raspberry sauce drizzled on top” Ivan answer. “You’re welcome to try it if you don’t mind using my fork” Ivan smiled a bit “or I can order you some.”

Either way it seemed that the Russian wanted to cater to the honey blond, but Matthew agreed to taste a small piece none the less, and in doing so, unknowingly encouraged the other with his unintentional appearance of dependence. "Mm…it's really good!" he smiled, unaware of the drop of raspberry sauce on his lower lip.

Ivan smirked a bit and, unwilling to resist the tasty temptation, reached across the small table and used the gentle touch of his thumb to wipe away the sauce, pulling his hand back and licking it off of his thumb. “Would you like some more?” he asked a bit cryptically in response.

A bright red tint brushed Matthew's cheek bones like a woman's rouge and brightened the tips of his ears as he bit his bottom lip sheepishly at the delicate caress of Ivan's finger. "N-no thank you, aheh…" he ran a hand through his honey blond hair, looking at the other.

Ivan started to chuckle again before clearing his throat to get himself to stop “I apologize if I make you uncomfortable…” he said cutting himself off before he continued and complimented the lovely blush that graced his cheeks; he didn’t want to go too far, least of all with Gilbert right next to him.

Matthew shook his head at the man "No, no! You're not—um you didn't—I just didn't want anymore" he stammered, trying to explain. He hated himself for being so flustered in front of the man.  
Gilbert was listening to one of Roderich's compositions on his phone, unaware of the scene.

Ivan smiled softly and tilted his head a bit “It’s alright don’t worry, you can relax around me. I won’t think any differently of you, if anything I will only care for you more” Ivan said quietly, sure that Gilbert couldn’t hear him over the music spilling from his headphones.

Matthew blushed all the more, shoulders falling slowly as he reclined a bit in his chair, quite relieved at the man's words. Ivan didn't expect him to…like sophisticated music genres or…or act any differently…he didn't have to try so hard now. Perhaps… ‘I might have a sliver of a chance with him’ he told himself. "I'm glad that…you think that…um…" Matthew leaned over the table and planted a small kiss on Ivan's cheek. "I never really got to thank you for…the other night" he was referring to Gilbert. He sat back down in his chair again "So thank you…"

It was Ivan’s turn to blush, though it was just the slightest bit and really only there if you had been watching, it was still there. “Thank you, I was and still am happy to help you.” Ivan was ecstatic, though it was very well contained, he wouldn’t have been able to believe that the other would break past being so timid if he hadn’t just seen it and felt it. Patience had paid off but he couldn’t help but feel that maybe, if they hadn’t been interrupted that night that Matthew might have gotten over some of his obvious insecurities, he only hoped that he could continue to gain ground with their relationship.

Gilbert turned to the next song in his playlist, but accidentally went back to the home screen of his phone. A tiny yellow bird popped up at the bottom and displayed a miniscule message in a blue thought bubble. 'QUIZ TOMORROW' Gilbert gasped and yanked his ear phones out, having completely forgotten about his sociology quiz tomorrow morning. "Scheisse!" He cursed, shoving his phone into his knap sack and throwing the bag over his shoulder. He apologized to Ivan and Mattie. "I need to get back—we have a quiz tomorrow that I completely forgot about!"

Ivan looked up in surprise at the exclamation and upon the explanation, spoke up “Alright then and don’t worry I’ll remember to mention you next time I talk to Roderich. And Matthew…you are free to come over to my place unless you have something due tomorrow as well” Ivan said.

"Ok!" Matthew replied, elated at the invitation but tried to contain himself. He had no work due tomorrow or anything of the sort, for that matter. He went into his bag and grabbed his keys, handing them to Gilbert. He had no problem with letting his friend drive his car back. "I'll let you drive, Gil" he told the Prussian.  
"Alright, Mattie" Gilbert pulled Mattie into a hug before walking towards the door. "Have him back by ten" laughed, joking with Ivan. The bell in the door frame chimed softly, announcing the man's leave, and leaving only Matthew and Ivan at the table.

 

Ivan chuckled at the protective comment and watched him leave before turning his gaze back to Matthew. “Did you want to go ahead and leave or linger here?” Ivan asked, comfortable with both choices.

Matthew listened to the rain still pouring down outside the window and decided it would be best to leave before the storm worsened. "It's okay with me if we leave now" he responded.

“Alright” Ivan said as he got up and stood by the table, waiting for Matthew to follow before leaving the café together and jogging to the car so they didn’t get completely soaked as the sky suddenly opened up halfway to the car. They got in quickly and Ivan laughed softly, slicking his wet hair back slightly to stop it from running down his face. His shirt stuck to him a bit but he paid no mind to it as he made sure Matthew was in and started the car, starting the drive back home.

"Well that was fun" Matthew snapped his seat belt into place and giggled at his soaking wet hair. His shirt, slicked with water, was clinging to his petite form as he shivered softly, a subtle hint of the buds on his chest were only slightly visible against the translucent fabric of his shirt. "It's been awhile since it rained this hard…"

Ivan heard the shiver and glanced over, eyes drawn by the clinging fabric but quickly righted his gaze to the street, banishing the thoughts from his head. “I suppose it was about time then” he said, forcing a bit of a chuckle through “if you need to warm up, you can shower when we get there but for now any air flow would just make you colder.” Ivan knew that the best way to warm up in such a situation was to take off the wet clothing but they were driving and he didn’t want to come on to Matthew like that, especially in such a potentially sleazy way. He just focused on the drive and the somewhat loud sound of the rain against the car.

"Thank you" Matthew smiled gratefully before resting his head against the window. The raindrops splattered the clear glass and trickled down rapidly as Ivan drove down the road, nearing the open pasture fields. "That was so nice of you, to help Gilbert out like that and try to relate to him. I know he seems a bit childish at times but really, when you get to know him, he is a very kind person. He's just…really protective of me. But he seems as if he'll start to relax around you now, so that's good." Matthew smiled, reflecting on the positivity in the day's events.

Ivan nodded “I understand why he cares though, you are worth protecting and I’ve only spoken to him a couple of times. If putting in a good word will help him, then I will, because he was starting to be civil and that’s all I ask of people really. Be courteous and you will get the same from me” Ivan said simply, relaxing a bit in his seat as they rode along.

"I know what you mean" Matthew nodded, smoothing his hair back from his face with his hand. "The world is horrible enough sometimes…there is no need to waste precious time being mean to one another."

Ivan was a bit surprised but things started to snap together as he thought of Matthew’s determination in getting the role of the victim, the rough patch with his parents, Gilbert’s protectiveness, coupled with what he said and how he said it…he couldn’t help but think there was a lot more to the situation than just wanting to be a good actor. Ivan glanced at him for a moment before looking at the road again “I haven’t heard that tone in someone so young without them having been exposed to something terrible. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but…” Ivan hesitated, glancing over again “…whatever happened, both Gilbert and I care for you greatly; don’t forget that…”

Matthew sighed softly, holding his arms to his chest as he looked over at Ivan and then back at the window "…Thank you." He supposed he should wait until a while later to tell Ivan about his brother. To explain to the other why it really was that he so desperately wanted the lead. But not quite yet. He was developing a trust with the man, but not quite enough to tell the Russian about Alfred. He saw the passing row of tree trunks and knew that they were close to Ivan's house.

Ivan nodded but didn’t say anything. The silence continued for the most part comfortably until they arrived a few minutes later in front of Ivan’s house. He parked and they got out, running inside again to escape the rain “At least it has lightened up from before, yes?” Ivan offered.

Matthew wrung the water from his wavy hair before walking inside. "Yes" he laughed, looking at the Russian. Both the men's clothes were still slightly damp from the rain that now pattered lightly outside.

Ivan chuckled and shook his shorter hair out to get the worst of the water out and walked inside after Matthew. He looked up at Matthew and smiled “How about we get out of these wet clothes and shower.”

"That sounds really great to me" Matthew replied "do you want to take one first or…?"

“We can take them at the same time” he teased with a smirk, starting to walk up the stairs before finishing his sentence “I’ll use the guest one, you can use mine; the same one you used last time” he said heading to his room to fetch some dry clothes for the both of them. “I’ll leave a shirt on the door for you” he called as he grabbed a fresh pair of pants for himself, not worrying about a shirt.

Matthew shook his head slightly, trying to hide his small blush by laughing. "Okay…or you could just come in and put it there…" he giggled, walking up the stairs to Ivan's bathroom. He closed the door and began to shed his wet clothing. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should lock the door? He decided it would be okay to leave it unlocked before jumping into the shower, leaning under the hot water, submerging his head under the stream as his wavy blond locks fell limp from the constant pour. He could taste the scalding steam and let out a harsh breath of relaxation.

Ivan laughed lightly to himself, he knew Matthew was just teasing back but it was tempting. Instead of taking advantage of the easily inferred offer he grabbed a shirt that he figured would be long enough, this time one that slipped on and was lavender in colour with short sleeves that would still be a bit long on Matthew. He tossed his pants over his shoulder and knocked on the bathroom door “I’m setting it on the counter” he warned before trying the door and seeing it was unlocked. He did as was promised and set the folded shirt on the counter but couldn’t resist glancing over toward the shower and seeing Matthew’s form past the opaque curtain. He couldn’t see a considerable amount of detail and it was certainly nothing like the clarity of that night. He took a slow deep breath and turned away with the thought that his patience would pay off eventually. He closed the door and went to take his own shower with the lingering thought of perhaps renovating the showers to have smooth glass doors instead of curtains.

Matthew stepped out of the shower a few moments later. He had heard Ivan come in and yelled a thank you over the competing water. When the man left, he turned off the water and stepped onto the mat beside the tub, wiping his feet. He slid the towel off of the rail and dried the water dribbling down his legs and chest, and patted his hair dry. He picked up the shirt on the counter and slid it over his head, working his arms into the shorter sleeves. He noted that it very closely matched his eyes and then the student picked up his clothes and opened the door, feeling a breeze on his face and slightly damp hair, cooling the heat from the bathroom.

Ivan took a long hot shower, enjoying the water running down his form and chasing away chill that had started to set in once he entered the air conditioned house. He washed up and thought back to the lanky form in the shower across the hall ‘Soon’ he thought with a smile and closed his eyes, letting the shower rinse his hair and the rest of his body in turn. Once he was done and suds free, he stepped out and dried off before slipping on a pair of boxers and pants, thankful to be out of the wet ones. He hung the towel on the towel bar and walked out, enjoying the feel of the cold air caressing his over-heated skin.

Matthew slipped on his boxers as he sat in the guest room, waiting for Ivan to get out of the shower. He was thankful that his boxers had been quick to dry. He sat on the bed, and took his phone out of his bag, checking on Gilbert. The rain was pouring down outside again. He walked over and slowly pulled the curtain back a bit, peering behind it. There was a small split of lightening that was soon followed by a low rumble of thunder at the edge of the woods. The storm was not incredibly close but the dark grey clouds were low in the sky and the sun had slipped away in the folds of their midst.

Ivan saw Matthew sitting on the bed in the main guestroom and walked to him. He quietly crept in with a grin and got ever closer with the intent to spook him but saw he was on the phone and decided sit on the bed instead and wait. He sat and the bed, and Matthew, bounced a bit with his sudden additional weight but other than that he was quiet.

Matthew bobbed slightly on the bed as it creaked softly from the shift of the other's weight on it. He looked over at Ivan, smiling and waving cutely before turning back to the phone call with Gilbert. "Okay, good! Ah, I'm not sure… It's storming pretty hard right now but I'll let you know. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye." He hung up with a click and bent down to put the phone back into his bag "Enjoy your shower?"

Ivan smiled, shaking his head a bit with the wave. Once the other had hung up and spoken he answered “I certainly did, did you?”

"Ahh yes…nice to be in dry clothes again…" Matthew smiled back, patting the shirt. "Thank you. I don't know if you've noticed but…the storm is getting much worse" he said, looking towards the window again.

“Your welcome; I’m glad I fits, at least for the most part” Ivan amended with a smile as he glanced down and saw the barest of Matthew’s boxers peeking from under the hem of the shirt. Ivan glanced out the window to confirm the statement again “I had seen it right when I sat down but dismissed it, the house will hold up. Did you want to head back?” Ivan asked.

Matthew shook his head "Ah, actually Gilbert said that it's really bad over by the school…there is a flood warning." He placed his hands on the bed, yawning softly and blinking his lavender eyes.

“Are you worried?” Ivan asked, referring to not only the storm but about Gilbert. He looked down from the window and raised a brow at the potentially suggestive position; hands behind him for support, mouth open, and eyes fluttering shut. ‘This kid will be the death of me’ Ivan thought with a soft chuckle.

Matthew shook his head "I would be concerned if he wasn't indoors but I think he will be okay since he made it to his apartment. He'll call if anything happens." Honestly, the student wanted to spend more time with Ivan and could care less about the storm. The guest bed was a lot more comfortable than the apartment bed. And Ivan was much better company than Matthew's own shadow.

 

“Are you too tired for a movie?” Ivan offered, not wanting to sleep just yet but not wanting to suggest what he knew would tired them both out in a pleasant way.

"No," Matthew replied, leaning hesitantly on the other's shoulder. "That sounds nice..." He smiled.

Ivan smiled and leaned his head lightly on the other’s, happy with the intimacy of the moment. “What are you in the mood for?” he asked, not quite willing to move just yet as he relaxed in the warmth of the other.

Matthew blushed a bit at the shifting of ivory hair that fell onto his shoulder and brushed his hair as the other leaned his head on Matthew's. His eyes started to droop shut as he answered. "Whatever you want."

Ivan smiled at the response and decided to take a chance “How does a romance sound” he said, shifting before pressing a lingering kiss to the other’s temple.

"That sounds nice" Matthew said, jostled from lurings of sleep with that kiss. His ears and cheeks glowed lightly, his lavender eyes shined in a splash of illumination from the lightning.

Ivan took that as consent for another kiss and brushed his lips against his cheekbone before touching another lingering in the hollow of his cheek next to his lips.

Matthew was initially surprised, thinking that Ivan meant an actual romantic movie but…somehow he didn't want to end this… He placed his hand gingerly on the other's shoulder, unsure of where else it should go, feeling the heat in his face growing with the soft kisses over his cheek. He turned to face him, and slowly leaned in to kiss the line that etched his lower jaw below his lower lip.

Ivan smiled as the other reciprocated a bit and Ivan made the final move to connect their lips softly, not asking for anything beyond the press of the other’s soft lips. He was beyond happy that they were moving along together, that Matthew trusted him even with any misgivings he had.

Matthew gently leaned into the kiss. His other hand held a soft bunching of red silk by the tightening, curling fingers. Ivan's shoulder rested between the top and the collarbone. His eyelids fell slowly as he nudged against the Russian's lips with his own.

Ivan brought a hand up and let it rest in the still drying blond hair to guide the other closer, to tilt his head a bit so that they could deepen the kiss. He broke away after a moment, moving barely an inch away “May I?” he asked, hoping he could go a bit further than the brushing of lips. Now that he had a taste, he truly didn’t want to stop.

Matthew's eyes fluttered, half lidded as he was moved closer to the Russian. His hand trembled on the bed spread and he nodded slowly.

Ivan reconnected their lips and ran his tongue over the slightly fuller bottom lip to ask for entrance as his free hand went to Matthew’s hip and held it gently.

Matthew's vision darkened once more as his lavender eyes drew shut once again. He slightly parted his lips to communicate his answer. He felt so shocked that the man even wanted to kiss his plain lips and hold his boney hip. He pulled away slightly and opened his eyes "Why, Ivan…?"

Ivan furrowed his brows a bit in confusion “Why…? The kiss?” he asked wondering if he had gone too far too soon but as he searched the clear eyes dilated just a bit with arousal instead of constricted with fear some of the worry faded away and then it clicked, coupled with the faint trembling he could feel from the other; doubt. But he had to be sure so he let the other answer.

"What do you see in me that you like so much…?" Matthew swallowed hard, looking up at the man. "You could have anyone you wanted…somebody smart and attractive but…why would you want to waste your time with a person like me?" He felt the heat in his eyes and cheeks stinging his face as he held even a hint of tears back from falling.

Ivan righted his body so that he knelt in front of Matthew and cradled his face in his hands “Stop. Don’t think anything like that” Ivan said firmly. “You are a beautiful person inside and out. I don’t care if I could have the world at my feet…I want you…” Ivan pressed their foreheads together and continued to speak “You are quiet and innocent but an observer so I know you have seen the world and yet…against the odds, you are still trusting and honest…” Ivan pulled away and ran his thumbs under the edge of his eyes, wiping away the tears before they could fall. “You are the gem in the bed of rocks that I have been looking for. You weren’t drawn to me because of money or material things, you just wanted someone give you a hand and push you closer to your dream…and even after you got the part; you didn’t lose interest” Ivan smiled and kissed him again lightly pulling away after a moment in case he wanted to speak.

A tear slipped down his face as he opened his mouth to finally spill out all of the things he's kept locked up in his head "I—could never lose interest!!" His voice broke as he spoke, quieting a little "I just…I've never really had anyone care for me like you, Ivan…I mean—Gilbert has been very sweet and he makes me laugh and has been my friend for a while but I…I can't help but want to be close with you…when I am with you it makes me happy and helps me forget about the problems and the stress of never living up to someone's expectations and I feel so—pressured to be the best and you are just so kind to me…you make me feel wanted and good…and…" Matthew trailed off, his hand slipping on the silk making him fall forward towards Ivan.

Ivan immediately reacted and caught him with a hand on his shoulder and another at his back. He looked down into Matthew’s eyes “I never want you to be anything but happy and I don’t expect you to be anything but who you are. You are the only one in my life who has not wanted me for some fleeting, superficial reason…”

"I want to be with you—I want you to love me and hold me and protect me…please…I…" His breathing slowed as he whispered, "I love you…I love you…" and moved closer to the other again. His tone slightly resembled the line reading from the first time he had read 'Wilted Roses' first chapter.

Ivan pulled him impossibly closer and kissed him forcefully, passionately, and maybe a bit too rough but he couldn’t believe the answer he had gotten. Out of everything, and in such a short time…he had found his next toy. It had taken months to convince the last one but it had been worth it when he finally broke, when he finally submitted…though without the feistiness he had before, things became boring not long after. ‘Hopefully things will be better with this one’ Ivan thought to himself as he pulled away “I love you too” he said breath coming a bit faster and voice deepened a bit with want from the confession of the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first little story and one of my earliest rps so constructive criticism and comments in general are greatly appreciated. This is especially true for tips on the best way to tweak the standard roleplay format to a story format. And, hey, if you have any particularly memorable points then share them, I'd love to hear your opinions.
> 
> ~Poison


	6. Chapter 6

Matthew, through lidded lavender eyes of desire, could still see that Ivan's soft tone had changed, now resembling one like the thunder and that his ministrations were the slightest bit rougher. That the face he saw in the strike of lightning was not one that he had seen before…perhaps the darkness veiled expressions from becoming entirely visible to him, but…a fierceness glowed in the violet irises that had not yet been present. And the young man wondered just what he had gotten himself into as he looked into those eyes…entranced all the more by what he supposed in his innocent view was love and intimacy. Perhaps he should have asked to leave or to stop, but that was impossible. It was much too late to turn back now.

“I want you” Ivan stated, voice thickened with desire “is that alright?” he asked resting his hand on the inside of the other’s thigh, his fingertips brushing just under the edge of the boxers. He could see that the other wanted him, that he might be able to make his capture tonight, and it set a small fire inside of him. Now that he could practically taste the other’s essence…he didn’t know if he could stop…

Matthew felt prickling sting of rouge over his stomach and in his throat as the other's fingertips slipped subtly beneath the student's underwear. This was a much more ominous and ravenous side of the Russian that the young man had not yet encountered. And he was not sure how his feelings should have been at this point. A tiny flame of romanticism flickered within, dimly now, having been almost snuffed out by the other's statement. 'I want you.' Should it not have been three words which the man reciprocated to the other as was regulation in every idealistic relationship that had ever been presented before the blond? He felt as if the other's eyes might stray from him, as well as his heart, if it had ever been invested in the student, and it terrified him abundantly. Anything to keep this feeling, this love… He would do anything… He leaned forward, both hands clutched tightly to the other's chest in wanton need of trust and protection. "Please don't ever leave me…I can't live…without you…" he whispered breathlessly, another tear fell as fear clouded his mind and forced him to choose if he would give himself to the other to keep him…

“I won’t leave you, ever…” he pulled away his hand and placed it on the other’s back before pulling him close and wiping away the tear, it was still a bit too soon and he couldn’t risk scaring away his little dove “I’m sorry if I went too far…” Ivan said forcibly softening his tone. The desperation he wanted was there but not in the right way. The other wanted him of course but it seems he needed a more solid foundation first “I love you and I wouldn’t push you to do something you didn’t want to do…”

"I…know that you do…" Matthew replied. He took Ivan's hand and held it to his cheek. He needed validation behind the actions. "I wanted to be sure that…you will keep me… I want you to have me…but I need to trust you…" He had never given himself to anyone in the way that he had given himself to Ivan, and the way that he wanted to. He didn't want to end up left all alone or running to a second choice. He wanted Ivan, fully and entirely. He would do anything for the other to love him. "I need you…" he whispered, desperately clinging to him now. He leaned in for another kiss "I trust you…"

“I love you” Ivan kissed him again, quick and light “and I would never leave you…but are you sure you want this? There’s no taking it back after it happens…and even if you aren’t ready I’ll be here for you.”

Matthew sighed softly, moving his hand from the man's shoulder and cuddling into his chest, eyes slipping from sight again as they closed. Ivan was right; maybe it was best not to rush into things. "Can you just hold me? …Like this?" he loved being in the other's arms and close to him.

“Of course” Ivan said with a soft tone ‘Damn it…’ he thought to himself ‘just a bit more time’ he repeated both to himself and his disappointed cock. He leaned back and pulled Matthew with him, keeping him against his chest “We can stay like this for now…” he whispered as he ran one of his hands down the other’s side, feeling the contours of his body under the shirt with a gentle touch.

"Thank you…" Matthew smiled as the other held him, his hand slipping down to his side. The student raked a hand slowly through the Russian's hair, loving the feel of the tresses as they slipped through his fingers. He leaned his head against the broad shoulder, feeling Ivan's warm breath on his neck. It was such a nice feeling.

Ivan relaxed and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the small form laying on him as he tried to keep himself from thinking something too exciting and instead focused on comforting the skittish man as he played with his hair.

Matthew's nervousness settled as he fell asleep in Ivan's arms to the sounds of his heart beat while he lay against his chest. The thunder rolled in a low roar that slightly shook the house just after a swift lightning strike. A soft familiar ring chimed in Matthew's bag again, but the young man was already heavy with sleep, snoring lightly in the Russian's arms.

Ivan debated on answering the soft chime but didn’t want to disturb Matthew from his sleep. He looked around to see if he could reach the phone and saw it at the other end of the bed ‘Too far’ he thought and quickly dismissed it. He didn’t want Matthew torn away from him again. He glanced at the time, it was a little after ten ‘I suppose he wasn’t completely joking then’ Ivan finished as he closed his eyes and tried to doze off.

 

The morning had shown through quite early as Matthew opened his eyes. The sun was hidden and the fog veiled the atmosphere with a translucent overcast. He was laying against Ivan, on top of the red silk, realizing they had fallen asleep. A memory of the storm and the way Ivan had kissed the other lingered in Matthew's thoughts. The man subconsciously reached for his phone, and gasped when he saw the total of ten missed calls from Gilbert Beilschmidt. He wondered if it would be better to talk to him now or when he got back.

Ivan stirred as Matthew moved, taking his warmth with him. Ivan blearily opened his eyes and glanced outside, it was still too dark for it to be justified to wake up this early. “Back to bed” he spoke to the other, voice messy with sleep and not caring enough to control his accent as much as he usually did as he held out an arm to Matthew.

Matthew turned around as the other beckoned him back to sleep. The Russian's velvet accent was again thickened by undertones of slumber, a tone that the student simply could not resist. Without a single word in protest his fingers loosened. A soft thud sounded as the phone fell to the carpet. Matthew crawled back beside the man, and lay down again.

Ivan pulled him closer, settling the willing form between his legs before wrapping his arms around him and kissing his lips gently before shutting his eyes again.

Matthew shifted, settling back into the man's larger frame "Ivan…" he whispered. He wanted to ease Gilbert’s worry.

“Hm?” Ivan implored without opening his eyes. He was content to have the other in his arms for now but he was curious about what was on the other’s phone.

"I think Gilbert is worried about me… I saw that I missed ten calls from him last night" Matthew replied, looking up at the Russian.

Ivan opened his eyes a bit “If you want to, you can call him and reassure him but I would like to spend the day with you…” he said before kissing him again and loosening the grip his arms held on the younger man.

Matthew leaned up from the bed, bending down over the edge to get his phone. He went to one of the miss calls and pressed on the screen, dialing the Prussian, who answered immediately. His voice could be heard through the phone, fraught with concern. "I'm sorry Gil, I fell asleep last night. Yes, I'm still with him. It's overcast." The student answered his friend's questions as he lay back against the headboard "I'll let you know. Okay. Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye." Click.

Ivan waited until he was off the phone to speak “He was just worried?” he asked, running a hand through his slightly messy hair and turned to look at Matthew.

"Yeah," he turned to look at Ivan "I guess he thought the worst possible thing since I didn't answer" he sighed softly, laying back and smoothing back his hair.

Ivan’s eyes roamed over Matthew’s form “I’m happy that he didn’t call you away from me this time” he teased with a small smirk.

Matthew nodded and yawned and stretched, shaking out of the remaining inklings of sleep. "Let me cook for you" he smiled at the Russian, eyes gleaming. He sat up with his knees to his chest "You've treated me to food, so I should treat you this time."

Ivan smiled and shook his head mentally before responding “That sounds lovely, I’ll be happy to lend a hand with it.”

 

"Okay," Matthew hopped down from the bed, shirt slipping up the slightest bit to reveal a sliver of his stomach. He walked out of the room and down the hall to the stairs. As he turned the corner he went into the kitchen, and opened the cabinet below the stove that he had seen Ivan retrieve pots and pans from before. He pulled out a pan before shutting the cabinet door again, and gathered supplies to make crepes and potato cakes from scratch. He thought the other might enjoy a French breakfast. He hummed to himself as he grinned, mixing the crepes in a bowl and heating the stove.

“Just tell me if you need anything” Ivan said as he sat down at the table to watch, smiling as the other hummed happily, his hips moving a bit in tune with the song as he mixed.

"Okay" Matthew nodded and went over to the stove, pouring the mixture into the pan to make four crepes. In the other skillet he put the potatoes he shredded with the mixed in egg, salt, and black pepper, the bottom of the pan was slicked with oil to speed up the cooking process. "Ah, so what did you want to do today?" he made light conversation while fixing the breakfast.

“I wouldn’t mind staying inside, especially with the lingering storm… We could watch a real movie if you would like” Ivan said with a chuckle ‘I doubt _you_ are on the agenda after all…’ he thought to himself. He hadn’t been this insatiable since his early teenage years.

Matthew waited until the potato cakes were golden brown before flipping them onto the spatula, and then onto the plates. "I don't mind staying in either" Matthew replied, glancing quickly at Ivan over his shoulder before returning his attention to the crepes. He set them on the plate and turned off the stove, taking the pan and skillet and the other utensils to the sink to wash them. He scrubbed the excess oil and mix from the dishes before rinsing and drying them, putting them away. He whipped up some sweet cream and spread it over the crepes, before slicing strawberries and sprinkling powdered sugar over them as toppings. "What would you like to drink?"

Ivan thought for a moment before deciding against his usual vodka incase the little minx had him needing to drive somewhere so instead he chose a rarity “Milk please…”

Matthew nodded and took two glasses from the above cabinet and opening the fridge to get the carton of milk sitting next to the half-full bottle of Greygoose vodka. He poured the milk to the top of each glass and walked over to set them on the table. He walked back, retrieving the plates, napkins, and silverware from the counter top and placing Ivan's at his seat before sitting down beside him.

Ivan chuckled “You seem to know my kitchen as well as I do.” He looked at the beautifully arranged food on his plate and took a bite of the strawberry crepe. “Mmmm” Ivan hummed with a bit of surprise “who taught you to cook like this?” he asked.

"I'm glad you like it" Matthew grinned, pleased at the other's response to his cooking. "My older brother was always playing outside and scraping his knees but most times I stayed in to read. One day my mother told me that I should learn how to cook and she taught me how to make crepes and potato cakes" Matthew explained, reminiscing about the memory. "I'll never forget the way she looked at me when she tried it" he laughed as he tasted the crepe, demonstrating his mother's surprised expression for Ivan. "I made crepes and potato cakes every morning for breakfast until they got tired of them!" He sipped the milk and then placed the glass back on the table. "I owe that credit to her…she taught me everything about cooking." He smiled, and then looked back at Ivan, wondering if he had been talking too much.

Ivan had had a smile on his face the entire time, finding the excitement and love with which he spoke of his family heartwarming “She sounds like a wonderful woman. But it makes me wonder why you didn’t go into the culinary arts.”

Matthew took another bite of his crepe before answering the man "It's really more of a hobby, I guess." The student moved his fork around, patting the breaded cake. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should tell the other the real reason behind his choice in major. "My brother…last year around this time he was reported missing." He took another bite before speaking again "He was in an abusive relationship before that and…" Matthew's shoulders dropped as he sighed. "…I never knew about it. The signs were there but I really didn't pay attention…" he blamed himself greatly for Alfred's death. "Acting was a hobby too but then—it became more than that with this play." He swallowed hard and then continued "I had to get the lead role—for Alfred, and for myself…I don't know what I expect to come out of it. I guess just…some kind of closure…" He looked up at Ivan, passion in his lavender eyes as he spoke "That way if I ever saw it happening to someone else I'd _know_. I would know and I'd be able to stop it from happening again."

Ivan set down his fork slowly “I had no idea…but I suppose now that I know, it explains quite a bit…” ‘like the resemblance…I knew Alfred had a brother but I had no idea he would turn out to be this little gem but now it’s more important than ever to keep him out of that room… he would also have to be careful about his actions as well cause he would know to look for the less obvious signs that most people missed. "You are a very strong person" Ivan said finally.

Matthew set down his fork, feeling his vision beginning to blur from his now watery eyes. "Thank you" he replied monotonously, suddenly feeling drained by the conversation. He was still very sensitive about his brother's disappearance and alleged death. He took up his plate as he stood from the table "Please excuse me, I…lost my appetite for now." He wrapped up the leftover food and put in the refrigerator before walking up the stairs to the guest room again.

“I understand…” Ivan said softly as he followed the other’s movements before doing the same with his own plate once the other had left. He wondered if it would be best to leave him be or try to comfort him but it only took a second to realize that all Ivan wanted to do at the moment was make Matthew feel better so, decision made, he walked up to Matthew’s room and knocked softly on the doorframe “I’m sorry if I’m intruding but I thought that you might want some company…” Ivan said lingering by the door.

Matthew sat on the edge of the bed, one hand grasping the silk while the other held his phone. He stared emptily at a picture of his brother that he had taken some time ago "You can come in if you want…"

Ivan sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his waist “Is that him?” he asked, making conversation.

"Yeah" Matthew responded quietly. He swiped the screen, moving to the next picture. The elder blond had a blackened eye. He slid through the pictures, worsening as they passed. "That one is from football practice. He got this one after he fell down the stairs." Matthew explained each injury with a wounded smile. His voice shook as the tears dripped onto the screen. "I should have known that he was getting hurt by someone else…look at that!" he pointed to a scar on his back. "You can't do that on your own!" he shook his head as he pressed the home button and put the phone down beside him on the bed "I killed him. I could have saved him…"

“You didn’t know and you had no way of knowing” Ivan said firmly “don’t be so hard on yourself…” he said with a slightly softer tone “he wouldn’t want you to be upset over him…”

Matthew turned around, facing Ivan, his eyes suddenly roused with anger at the other "How the heck would you know that? You don't know that—you don't know _what_ he would want! You don't know him!" He trembled as he turned away from the Russian, tears slipping down his cheeks. He wiped them away furiously with the back of his hand as he sniffled.

‘Well actually…’ Ivan thought before speaking “I don’t but you love him and if you loved him then he loved you, and no one would want their loved ones to get upset over something they couldn’t control…” Ivan didn’t make a move to touch him again, feeling it best to keep still and let the other think and grieve.

There was a pause before Matthew spoke again. He sighed deeply, nodding his head at the other's words "You're right. I'm sorry—I just…" He ran a hand through his hair "It's hard when… y-you lose someone and—I mean, I don't even know what happened to him."

“I know…” Ivan said with a sympathetic smile “trust me I know that feeling. Though I at least know most of what happened and whatever else…I don’t want to know…”

Matthew smiled softly at the man, moving closer to him on the edge of the bed to hug him "I'm sorry for snapping at you…"

“It’s alright” Ivan said as he hugged him closer “I know you didn’t mean it the way it sounded. You haven’t found closure and it still hurts you.” Ivan kissed his hand “Forgive me for being so callous…”

"It really helps to have someone like you in my life now, though" Matthew's arms enclosed further, holding the other tighter. He felt the trust in their relationship deepening; he felt that he could easily be vulnerable to the man and loved the comfort and support he gave him.

“I’m overjoyed that you are a part of my life and I hope that you feel the same” Ivan said softly as he wrapped his arms around the arms wrapped around him.

The student hugged the writer for a few moments longer before letting go. "Your novel really helped too" he smiled, moving his hair behind his ear before placing his hands in his lap.

“I’m happy it did and I’m very pleased that you took the offer because without that little book I doubt we would be here right now” Ivan said with a smile at the shy man.

Matthew returned the other's smile before he turned his head, catching a glimpse of the window. "Ah, it's raining again" he reported. A light wash of rain showered the glass. If it flooded, he wouldn't have minded staying another night. He loved Ivan's home.

Ivan glanced up and spoke “So it is” he smiled again and faced Matthew “would you like to spend another night?”

Matthew's eyes shined softly as he turned towards Ivan "Yeah! Ah, if that is okay?" he added.

“Of course, as much time as you would like or until you tire of my company” he finished with a chuckle.

Matthew laughed "Okay." He could never get tired of Ivan. He blushed a bit as he looked down the man's arm wanting to hold his hand. He saw scars that resembled teeth marks in his hand. He had never noticed those before. "What happened there?" he rubbed his thumb over the scar.

Ivan glanced at it, eyes going glassy with a faraway look for a moment before spoke “My father…I was trying to protect my younger sister and he bit me…”

"Y-Your father?? _Bit_ you?!" Matthew repeated in disbelief "how awful!" He could only imagine what the man what the man's intentions were with Ivan's sister.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I understood how you felt; only I was punished for trying to stop it…” Ivan looked up with a bit of a dark look “I’m also the only one left but he had it coming for a long time.” Ivan shook himself from the memories “So trust me when I say I know that helplessness of not being able to do anything to protect someone you love.”

Matthew dropped his head "Oh…I'm sorry." He had rushed to conclusions with the other, without even knowing his situation. He decided that they should do something else rather than dwelling on such sad things. He leaned over, kissing Ivan's cheek.

Ivan saw the movement and turned it into a true kiss, moving against the other’s lips for a moment before parting “Don’t apologize, at least for me it has been just part of the past for a long time.”

"It may have come up today but…being with you keeps me from thinking about it" Matthew smiled weakly at the Russian.

“I’m pleased I can be of use and I hope that one day, with or without me, you will be able to come to terms with what happened…”

Matthew nodded "I will. It's just that healing takes time." He looked up at him "But the healing would be a lot quicker if I just knew what happened to him, I guess…just so if I know for sure he—" he swallowed and then continued, "—died…I'd be able to move on." It was almost unbearable to carry around false hope like he had, and especially with his brother being a fresh missing person case.

“I know” Ivan said kissing his forehead “and I wish I could help…” ‘…without breaking the bond with you…’ he finished in his thoughts as he wrapped an arm around the other.

Matthew leaned into Ivan as the other placed an arm around him. "This helps so much" he cuddled into his shoulder.

“Then that’s all I ask for” he replied, smiling down at the other as he wiggled closer causing Ivan to chuckle a bit, softly.

Matthew smiled at the man's gentle laughter as the other held him. "I wasn't lying when I said that I love you."

“I wasn’t either and that’s why I want to protect you” Ivan said, his hand stroking the other’s side lightly.

"I can prove it…" Matthew leaned in, close to his face, kissing his lips again. He wanted to show Ivan that he loved him rather than just tell the man. Actions spoke louder than words.

 

Ivan was elated that the other was moving forward and kissing without him initiating. He moved with the kiss, bringing his hand up to the base of the wavy blond hair to deepen the kiss. They pulled away, breath speeding up a bit “I believe you” he said touching their lips together again.

Matthew shook his head after pulling away "You don't…" he replied as he lifted the lavender shirt over his head. "You need…more proof, right…?"

Ivan inhaled deeply as the other was only left in boxers “I don’t need proof but…if you are ready…only if you are ready, then I can’t argue…” Ivan said firmly, he had to be sure before they moved forward with anything. He had to know if it was alright if he pushed a bit.

It was Matthew's turn to mentally shake his head at the other, as his banter went right over his head, but he appreciated the fact that he was genuinely concerned about him and about his feelings. The student smiled gratefully "I am…ready to be yours…"

Ivan finally smiled softly and that comment was when the arousal started to set in. He reached out and touched a bare shoulder before adding a bit of pressure to the light touch and pushing, guiding Matthew down to lie on the bed as he followed him down and they kissed again, Ivan’s weight resting on Matthew’s form.

Matthew relaxed against the familiar feel of the red silk, his hair spreading out against it as he laid his head down. He kissed the Russian gently, tasting his lips as he laced his fingers through the snowy blond hair.

Ivan smirked a bit as he pulled away “You have gotten better” he whispered as he kissed down the other’s neck, nipping lightly here and there but not leaving any lasting marks as he traveled from the other’s jaw to his collarbone.

Matthew gasped softly at the subtle nips at his neck between the kisses, his lavender eyes lit up with his shoulders, cheeks, and stomach at the loving touches "Gotten better…at what…?"

“At kissing, you learn quickly” Ivan smiled, lips brushing the flushed skin as he spoke. He reveled in the gasps and little noises he caused as he went lower, mouth licking and teasing a hardened nipple as its twin received the same treatment.

Matthew arched his back a few inches off of the bed, face and shoulders burning with arousal from the other's treatment of the rosy buds. His eyes shut in pleasure as little mewls escaped his throat.

Ivan lapped at the nub with the tip of his tongue “So sensitive…you respond beautifully and we have barely begun…”

The honey blond's eyes open slightly, half lidded with passion as they looked up at Ivan. Matthew panted quietly and unconsciously spread his legs a few inches apart before moving them back into the pressed in folds and wrinkles of the vermillion silk "Ah…you are my…first…"

Ivan laid a kiss just to the left of the center of his chest, right above Matthew’s fluttering heart “I’m honored and we can go as slow as we need to…” he said as he trailed kissed down, reaching the point just above where Matthew’s cock lay until, that too, received a kiss at the tip of the heated head.

The pale flesh was tinted with rouge at every kiss, rousing it from ivory to crimson and Matthew's back arched as he felt Ivan's lips traveling down to his hot arousal, hard with a flourish of blood from the Russian's ministrations. A quiet gasp escaped from the younger man's slightly parted lips.

Ivan placed his hands on Matthew’s thighs to keep them from closing and took the heated flesh into his mouth and started bobbing his head, tongue trailing along the underside as he moved, glancing up and cataloging the subtle movements and sounds the other made.

Matthew's thighs flinched at being unable to close as the other dragged ragged moans and gasps up from his throat, filling the quiet room. Matthew's eyes widened slowly, clasping both hands over his mouth in embarrassment as he heard himself.

Ivan pulled off with a wet pop “I want to hear you…” he said, breath and voice rough “it lets me know that you enjoy it…”

Matthew panted slowly, feeling a chill from the air against his now dampened length "O-okay…" he whispered breathlessly as he moved his hands.

“Thank you” Ivan said as he pulled away with a kiss to Matthew’s leg “I’ll be back in a moment” he said before standing and heading to his room only to return a couple of minutes later with a small bottle of lube and without his pants, matching Matthew in lack of clothing and exposing more than a few other scars in the light of the room. Ivan knelt on the bed again, setting the lube down and revealing a little brightly coloured foil square “I wasn’t sure if you would prefer me to wear a condom or not or if you even wanted to go that far this time…”

Matthew sat up to kiss the man's cheek and wrapped his arms around his neck, admiring the consideration. "I trust you, Ivan…I know you would never hurt me…"

Ivan set it down and kissed him again “Never on purpose but this will hurt a bit; I’ll try to make it worth it…” Ivan said as he lay down with Matthew and prepped his fingers, coating them in the slick substance before rubbing it against his entrance, getting him used to the touch before slowly easing his finger in.

"Okay" Matthew nodded slowly as he braced himself for pain. The honey blond's virgin body arched at the unfamiliar feeling inside him, his moans slipped out from the spread fingers over his mouth "A-ahm…!"

“Try to stay relaxed” Ivan said as he once again traveled down the younger’s body to mouth at and lick the firm, heated flesh to distract the other as he slowly moved his finger, getting Matthew used to something moving before he felt him relax a bit and he withdrew his finger only to ease it back in with another, letting the hole spread a bit before he started to spread his fingers, scissoring them to stretch it further.

Matthew looked up at the ceiling took distract himself from reacting too harshly to the pain. His body lurched as he panted and bit down on his lip to the bleeding point to keep his heated whimpers and moans from spilling out due to the pleasure mixed in with slight pain.

Ivan moved up again to Matthew’s mouth and licked the bit of blood he found there, he didn’t want to repeat himself so instead he covered the other’s mouth with his own, feeling the moans build up as he thought about perhaps, later on of course, bringing a ring gag into the equation so that he could still hear him and Matthew wouldn’t be able to hurt himself if he got embarrassed. He pulled away from the other’s mouth “Try to relax…” he asked, slowing his fingers but keeping them spreading out and relaxing to try to get him accustomed to it. Matthew wasn’t relaxing enough to make things easier on himself so instead of adding another just yet he brought his fingers together and rubbed them mercilessly against the other’s prostate.

Matthew's insides tightened and loosened alternately around the other's fingers. A smudge of red iron stained his lips from the abrasion he had given himself. He breathed in and out softly with his moans, trying to relax his body. And as the Russian's fingers prodded at the sensitive muscle the aroused honey blond's back jerked upward from the bed, forming small rounded arks before flattening against the silk again. He still struggled to hold back his sounds but a part of him no longer cared to hide the noises.

Ivan smiled as he saw how well the other accepted the intrusion and he was tempted to leave it at that but he had a rather pressing need of his own to take care of. He grabbed the bottle again and squirted some on his hand, getting a generous amount before tossing the bottle away and wrapping the slicked hand around himself; hissing as the cool liquid touched his flushed cock as he stroked himself, taking the sharp edge of the need away while coating himself.

Matthew relaxed against the silk, looking up slightly to see why the other had stopped. He laid back down after realizing what the Russian was doing and closed his eyes to relax himself, breathing softly as his body still trembled gently in the wakes of the last few minutes.

Ivan saw him shift and he paused before chuckling as he lay back down “Eager?” he teased as he wiped the excess lube on his own thigh before grabbing Matthew’s legs and spreading them “Ready?”

Matthew could see from his view the Russian's smirking face as he lay on his back, his lavender eyes were glossed over with lust "Yes…"

Ivan leaned forward and kissed him again deeply and whispered “I love you” before lining himself up with Matthew’s entrance and easing in carefully, only stopping when he was seated deep within the tight heat. Ivan let out a soft groan “Tell me when it’s alright to move…”

Matthew gasped at Ivan's heated length inside him, tightly clenching around the much larger obstruction. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to make himself relax so that his muscles would loosen. And after a few moments of mentally preparing himself, he replied to the man above him "It's…okay now…"

Ivan pulled out slowly, leaving only the tip before thrusting back in and repeated this cycle, each time growing bolder and gaining a bit of speed.

Matthew moaned in response to Ivan's increasing movements inside of him. As the man sped up, his sounds heightened and his back left the bed again "Ah—Ivan!"

Ivan was able to restrain himself for the most part until he leaned forward to kiss the taut skin where neck met shoulder and bit it instead, loving the feel of the tense muscle between his teeth as he let go to admire and sooth the mark with the caress of his tongue before he gave in to the urge to continue marking the pale skinned blond.

Matthew's breath hitched in his throat at the sting of the bite marks beginning on his neck, dampened by Ivan's tongue to tenderly care for them. Matthew's arms laced around the man's neck as he moaned and panted in the heat of the pleasure.

Once he was satisfied with the marks on that side, a scattering of bites and hickies, he sped up again as he kissed Matthew, tongue mapping out the other’s unique taste.

Matthew's eyes rolled back a bit as Ivan sped up his thrusts again. He closed his eyes, hips rolling forward with Ivan's movements.

Ivan felt himself getting close and grabbed the other’s cock “Matthew…” he breathed, voice loud and rough even to his own ears “cum for me…”

The honey blond's back arched as he came, spilling his essence into Ivan's hand.

Ivan came a few thrusts later, buried deep within Matthew, thrusts slowing as he stilled, kissing Matthew’s lips again as he pulled out gently and lay carefully on him, headless of the drying mess between them.

Matthew collapsed against the bed in afterglow, with the other lying on top of him after kissing him gently. He stumbled for words as he panted breathlessly against the Russian's neck "…I…love you…Ivan…"

Ivan kissed his neck softly “I love you too…my dear Matvei” he said as he rolled to the side a bit, off of Matthew. He chuckled a bit at the spread of mess between them “How about a shower.”

Matthew blushed at the way that the Russian had said his name, smiling blissfully at the man, his body still trembling slightly from their love making. He sat up from the stained red silk, cuddling into the man's side "I'd like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Ivan gets what he's been vying for over the past couple of weeks and some back story is revealed!
> 
> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.  
> ~Poison


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains spoilers for the movies Ghost Ship and Fatal Attraction.

Ivan knelt on the bed with one leg off as support as he lifted him bridal style to support his legs and back. Laughing a bit at the expression on his face “You’re still shaking, I wouldn’t you want to fall. This is more fun anyway” he said as he carried Matthew to the large bathroom connecting their rooms; letting him stand on his own when they reached their destination so that Ivan could let the water heat.

Matthew's legs wobbled a bit, still feeling the inklings of their actions. He sat down on the bathtub's edge as the two waited for the water to heat. He stopped a moment, remembering how, shortly ago, he and Ivan merely sat together at a table and how close they were now.

Ivan looked over at the younger man and saw a somewhat dazed look on his face that he wasn’t sure what to make of so he spoke up “Are you alright?” he asked, wondering if it had been too soon or if he had just been too rough. ‘Though…if it was the roughness…’ Ivan thought as he glanced over the marks on the other’s neck and shoulder ‘I don’t regret it…’

"Yes! I just…" his voice quieted as he spoke, his soft smile complimenting the splashed speckling of blush over his features. "I never thought I would be this close to you…" Matthew unconsciously placed a hand up to his neck, fingers trailing subtly over the marks as he looked up at the other.

Ivan smiled “I had hoped but the reality is much better and I didn’t think it was possible but you look even more beautiful with my marks on you…” Ivan checked the water again and stepped in, standing under the hot spray and waiting for Matthew.

Matthew looked down, hand still on his neck, smiling as he blushed. He stepped into the flowing spray of hot water where the Russian stood. He leaned his head under the water, rinsing the sweat from his hair.

Ivan grabbed the shampoo and poured some into his hand, lathering it a bit before running them through Matthew’s hair.

Matthew smiled, closing his eyes as Ivan washed his hair, loving the treatment "I can wash yours next" he offered.

“That sounds lovely. Head up” Ivan said as he tugged the back of his hair gently, wanting to rinse it. As it rinsed he grabbed the conditioner and repeated the process before handing the shampoo to Matthew.

Matthew held Ivan's shoulders, sitting him down on the side of the tub to reach his head. He squeezed the shampoo into his hand before rubbing it together between both palms and massaging the foam into Ivan's scalp "Has your hair always been this shade?"

Ivan closed his eyes and enjoyed the gentle touches “It has, we all had similar hair” he said referring to his sisters.

"Oh, your sisters?" Matthew stood on his toes to reach the shower head, moving the direction of the spray onto Ivan's hair. He then conditioned the other. "If you are this handsome then…they must have been very beautiful…"

Ivan smiled at both compliments, his elder sister especially would have adored Matthew “Thank you, they were” he said, feeling the suds running down as the water chased the shampoo away only to be replaced by conditioner.

Matthew tilted Ivan's head back, planting a soft kiss on his forehead before rinsing the conditioner from his hair "You're welcome" he smiled back.

Ivan laughed softly at the kiss “You are too precious” he said softly, just barely audible over the hiss of the shower. “What about you? Do others in your family share the waves in your hair?”

The watery foam swirled and slipped down the drain. "My father has very wavy hair, but my mother's hair is straight" Matthew replied and added "my brother's hair was straight too."

“Sounds like a lovely family” Ivan said before he stood and rinsed off completely.

Matthew stepped back into the water, rinsing off his body entirely before Ivan turned off the shower. "Yes" he said to the other 'if we'd all stayed together…' he said to himself.

Ivan entertained the thought of telling the other that he had indeed known Alfred, though of course not to the extent of dating him or anything which would give everything away, just to give Matthew another piece of Alfred to hang on to, give him another reason to depend on Ivan because they both were connected to him. It could go either way, but it might be worse to wait… “Matthew…I have something to show you…” Ivan said as he wrapped a towel around his waist and passed another one to Matthew.

"Okay" Matthew took the towel from the other, smile fading slightly as he heard the sudden change of the tone in Ivan's voice. He dried himself off and wrapped the towel around himself "…Are you alright?"

“I am and I hope you will be after this” Ivan said softly, ominously, as he grabbed a key that was buried in one of the drawers in his room. This key unlocked the studio room and they walked in, seeing that the room was indeed messy and piled with books and miscellaneous things but there in the corner, buried under other boxes, was a metal box with a large padlock and this was Ivan’s target. He glanced at Matthew and said “I love you” before he quickly did the series of mechanisms, most, if not all, hidden from Matthew’s line of sight, before a small panel opened and revealed another key which he then used to open the lock. He set it to the side and beckoned Matthew closer, the other sitting on his knees next to him, before Ivan opened the hinged lid and revealed that it was full of trinkets and old pictures and various other things including a small black box. Ivan picked up the stack of photos and flipped though quickly before pulling one out and passing it to Matthew with a soft warning “I haven’t been completely honest and now I hope I can tell you without losing you…” The image was of a young blond with short hair, one piece curling stubbornly up from under a green cap, the rest of the uniform was flawless and everything in order but the smile worn by the young man in question was anything but serious. It was warm and welcoming, seeming on the verge of laughing even through the image. Ivan waited for a reaction from the quiet blond who bore a close resemblance to the army-bound man.

Matthew held the photograph in his hands, staring at it emptily for a long while. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet and barely above a whisper, his eyes still on the picture of his brother in military apparel. "…Why do you have this…" the question he posed was not _why_ Ivan had the picture, rather that the young man wondered why it had to be _Ivan_ who had the picture. After a moment, he turned and asked him again, this time in disbelief "Why do you have this…?"

“I knew him… Not for long but I met him in a similar way that I met you only our roles were reversed. He found me struggling with a book that I couldn’t flesh out and he sat with me and we talked. Wilted Rose was the book he helped me with; the civilian that tries to help her was based off of him… He told me he wasn’t staying long so I asked for a picture to remember him as a joke but the next time I saw him he gave me this” Ivan said, smiling softly, fondly at the memory.

Matthew's frayed features relaxed a bit as the Russian told his explanation. He started to understand the man's behavior from before and put the pieces together, realizing he had rushed to conclusions just then, thinking the worst. His eyes softened tenderly as he looked at the other. "You…did understand…" he whispered with a weak smile, a few tears slipped down his face. The student hugged the writer tightly. He suddenly felt a small heat in him flourish at the discovery that the other was gracious enough to share. The fact that Ivan had known Alfred, had met him and talked with him—written a character based off of him—it was wonderful. His own sliver of closure was having someone so close to him now, who actually _knew_ Alfred. Perhaps not as well as he did but they talked! Ivan truly understood "…I love you…"

Ivan hugged him back, glad that it didn’t blow up in his face, things were falling into place beautifully, almost too easily but Ivan couldn’t be happier “I love you too and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner but I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way…” Ivan said kissing him gently on the cheek.

Matthew held the man tightly, nodding vigorously at the other's words. "I knew there was a reason for meeting you…I knew it… I'm so happy…" he smiled, another tear falling as he clung to Ivan. He reveled in the fact that he would no longer be alone; he had someone else to talk to his brother about—someone who really knew him. He understood. _That_ was what kept repeating in his mind.

Ivan pulled Matthew close, rocking a bit as he rubbed the bare back lightly and he felt the tears hit his still shower-warmed skin.

Matthew closed his eyes, sighing noiselessly as his bare skin touched Ivan's shower heated flesh softly. The man had a few scars but his skin was very smooth. The younger man loved the sensation beneath his fingertips "I love you, Ivan…"

Ivan kissed the unmarked side of his neck softly “I love you too” he said as he felt Matthew rubbed his chest a bit. He breathed deeply and opened his eyes “How about we get dressed now?” he asked with a smile.

Matthew nodded, pulling away gently "Okay." He followed the man to his room for clean clothes.

Ivan put everything back and relocked the room discreetly before going to his room to grab them some clothes. He handed Matthew a white shirt, further accenting the dark marks on his neck and pulled on a pair of pants, not bothering with boxers for the time being as the pants were fairly loose.

Matthew pulled the loose fitting shirt on, sleeves just above his wrists, the hem slightly above his knees, but the shirt covered him well and was comfortable.

“How does a movie sound?" Ivan asked, wanting to do something other than just standing around.

Matthew smiled "That sounds—." His phone started to ring noisily again, and when he looked on the screen he saw that it was Gilbert. He sighed "It's Gil again—why is he calling? He knows I’m with you still." He wondered whether he should answer or just let the phone ring.

Ivan chuckled “Leave it, you’re mine until you go back to school” he teased “he’ll just have to wait until tomorrow. What do you want to watch?” he finished, kissing the other’s neck.

"Whatever you want to watch" Matthew smiled, kissing Ivan's cheek.

“How does supernatural horror sound?” he asked, having a couple of movies in mind.

"Okay" Matthew nodded, setting down his phone. He hadn't seen many horror movies, but he was more than willing to give the genre a try if it was something Ivan liked.

“I have a few but how about Ghost Ship?” Ivan asked as they headed downstairs to another room that mirrored the style of the living room but without being centered around the coffee table and there was an addition of a large mounted television and a few bookcases of DVDs organized by genre and title. He pulled Ghost Ship from its spot and showed it to Matthew before popping it in the player and starting it.

Matthew laced his arm with Ivan's, leaning his head on the man's shoulder and watching as the movie began.

Ivan was pleased how easily the other gave up on answering the other’s call and settled around Matthew to watch an old favorite. His arm was wrapped around Matthew’s, holding him close.

As Matthew watched the movie, he tensed against the other, jumping a bit at the scary scenes.

Ivan smiled as the other moved; pleased he had picked a horror as the other was practically climbing in his lap by the dramatic revealing of the little girl’s scene.

Matthew clutched Ivan's arm tightly, covering his mouth as the two men pulled the screaming child into the room and shut the door "That poor little girl…" As the scene went on, Matthew cringed at a woman in red silk being slung up by a large metal hook. The floor splattered with her blood from the hook slitting from her chest up to the side of her throat as she swung to and fro. "I wonder how long it would take someone to bleed out that way…" he tried to relate medical information to not be freaked out by the goriness of the film "I guess it would be quick since the hook cut through her jugular vein?"

Ivan thought for a moment as the movie continued “I suppose it would be fairly quick, I don’t imagine that you can really breathe like that plus, as you said, the blood loss. Honestly I love this part because of all the thought that went into having all aspects of the ship covered. It’s terrible that the people died of course but ingenious how it was done.”

Matthew was impressed with the passion he saw from the other, and the intelligence. The Russian had a great appreciation for films like this and it showed in the expression of his face and in the tone of his voice as he explained to the younger man. As the movie went on, Matthew became more engaged in it, until nearing the ending.

As the ending climaxed it showed a beautiful spiraling column of spirits rising, finally freed from the demon’s wrath as the movie came to a happy close and the heroine was rescued; finally having saved the little girl from an eternal fate of reliving her pain. The movie went to a false close for a moment before opening again with the woman being lifted into the ambulance and you see the cursed trunk of gold being loaded onto another cruise ship. You see the demon that was supposed to have died as she yells and he smiles and boards the ship. Ivan smiled and looked down at the shocked and somewhat sad expression Matthew held “What do you think?” he asked, genuinely curious about the other’s opinion.

Matthew looked for a moment, his expression of pity and sadness was mingled with shock. As the credits rolled, he looked at Ivan. "That was…I thought it would be happy at first and then—the demon came back and the girl screamed and—!" he exclaimed, a bit excited and a bit shocked by the movie. "It was really good" he said to the other "bloody, but good." By the time they finished the film, the sun was going down. It seemed the day had gone so quickly "I should watch more of this genre."

“I encourage that, it’s my favourite genre though I tend to think of most of them being rather funny” Ivan chuckled, shaking his head a bit “but many I enjoy because of the more psychological aspects.”

Matthew nodded at the other "Your intelligence really shows when you talk about this genre" Matthew complimented the man admirably.

Ivan smiled warmly at the other “Thank you; I’ve just seen my fair share of intriguing movies. Do you watch many movies?”

Matthew shook his head "No, I read a lot, but I really should, especially with acting. It would probably help a lot with my expressions and such to see other actors on screen."

“It certainly helps me” Ivan said “I watch and I wonder how I can portray certain emotions or actions to convey the same meaning and pull people in like a movie does.”

"Oh" Matthew nodded "I see…so, where did you draw information for Wilted Rose's story?"

“Ah, that was from my own experiences, family was the strongest influence but as you know Alfred was influential as well…” Ivan said, keeping his tone as casual as possible.

"Oh…that's right" Matthew's eyes drifted down to his phone, and then back up to Ivan. "Well, the most powerful and successful creations are drawn from personal experiences…both of our situations are perfect examples."

“That’s true” Ivan said with a kiss to the top of his head “it gives inspiration, determination, and raw knowledge to work off of.”

Matthew, although his own comment had saddened him, couldn't help but to grin brightly at Ivan's encouragement and wisdom. "You're right" he replied, kissing the man's cheek "we have to take advantage of what we've been given…"

Ivan smiled as the other perked up “It’s the silver lining that we look for in the world that allows us to go on.” Ivan returned the kiss with one on his lips and spoke again “How about some dinner, it’s been a while since either of us has eaten” he said standing and pulling the other up with him.

"Yes" Matthew agreed, taking his arm, "that sounds good." They walked to the kitchen together.

“There are a couple leftovers in the fridge or we could make something. What are you in the mood for?” he asked opening the fridge and glancing around for what they had.

Matthew looked around from shelf to shelf, wondering what he had a taste for "Can I make a sandwich?"

“Of course, go ahead. I’m going to finish up the stew” Ivan said grabbing the container and pouring it into a bowl to heat it up. He put the empty container in the sink to soak.

Matthew took out two slices of bread. He sliced the turkey and tomato, and took a slice of cheese from its plastic packaging, putting the sandwich together before setting it on a plate and pouring himself a glass of milk. He took his food to the table, sitting in his usual spot by Ivan's chair.

Ivan took a minute to heat his bowl and sat down as Matthew made his sandwich and started to eat, smiling for a moment as Matthew joined his as they both ate.

The honey blond took a bite of his sandwich, followed by a sip of milk. He looked at the other from behind his glass, taking another sip before setting it down "Did you have family dinners?"

“I did though it was rare they were peaceful” Ivan looked up with a small smile at Matthew “which is why I value these moments… This might not be a family dinner but I care for you and I can be content with it. How about you? Did you have family dinners before you and Alfred came here?”

Matthew swallowed the bite of sandwich he just chewed, and drank a little more of the milk before answering. "Yes" he said, smiling at the man in remembrance, "we always did. Before the fights and arguments, they were always nice." Although, honestly, some events of his childhood were quite ambiguous and fragmented. "We always had milk with every meal" he continued, explaining that he preferred to keep that family tradition alive—it was one of the few that he could.

Ivan smiled “I’ll be sure to keep it stocked then” he replied, happy that Matthew still kept a hold of the more pleasant memories from his home.

Matthew returned the smiled as he finished his meal, standing from the table before taking his dishes to the sink to wash them and then putting them away. After drying his hands he walked back to the table, and was about to sit down again when he heard his phone ringing. He stood there for a moment, hesitant of sitting, unsure of whether to answer this time or just let it ring again.

Ivan heard the ringing and saw the hesitation “I suppose that’s Gilbert again” he said with a small sigh “You can answer it if you like…” Ivan glanced from his bowl and waited for a response as he finished the stew.

Matthew sat back down sighing "He'll be fine—I'll send him a text later that I'm staying over here again—if it’s okay with you?"

Ivan smiled, another point in his favor, “Of course, anytime and for as long as you like. Ah…” Ivan exclaimed “I have an idea, give me a moment” he said finishing his stew with a quick bite and washing the bowl before looking over at Matthew again. “Follow me” he said and went to his room again where a small, unassuming box sat on his dresser. He opened it a pulled out a key and handed it to him “So you can come over whenever, even if I’m not here.”

Matthew's eyes glittered as he took the key, clutching it to his chest "Thank you." The entire action was such a huge display of trust and that was what he wanted from Ivan. Now, he had proof that was what he had. He hugged the man "Thank you, Ivan!"

Ivan returned the hug full force, pleased with the reaction “Your welcome, my dear Matvei” he said. He would just have to be careful about leaving in a rush and make sure that certain things remained locked but Ivan wasn’t too worried.

The key was made of brass looked similar to a skeleton key: at the top were three interlaced circles that connected to its long slender form. Near the bottom of the key there were two small, spaced apart and cylindrical parts for opening doors. There was a small red stain that one may not have noticed right away; it looked a bit like rust. Matthew placed the key in his pocket, making a note to find a nice chain for it later.

Ivan saw him carefully pocket the key and smiled, he wouldn’t let himself worry about it. “It’s still somewhat early, is there anything else you wanted to do?” he asked.

"Actually, yes, I—" Matthew's response was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing again. He exhaled with an exasperated tone before walking to the guest room to grab it "Please excuse me a moment, Ivan." He picked up the phone, irritably sliding the green call button on the screen. He held it up to his ear "Hello."  
A frantic, angry Gilbert answered, voice pouring from the receiver "Do you have any idea how much I've been trying to reach you, Mattie! You didn't even leave me a message telling me you are okay!"  
Matthew sighed, "I told you I was with Ivan last time we talked—I haven't gone anywhere else—YOU have my car!" he yelled, fed up with the clingy and annoying antics. "Just stop it, okay, I'm a big boy—I don't need you to check up on me all the time!"  
"Mattie, just listen to me—"  
"No. I'm tired of always listening to you—stop telling me what to do all the time when you can't even take care of yourself!"  
That hurt the Prussian a bit. He wondered where this sudden surge of animosity was stemming from. "Mattie… I'm just worried about you. Ever since you met this guy, you haven't been the same at all. I don't think it's wise for you to be at his house so much—I mean you really do not _know_ him…" Gilbert said carefully, trying to be calm.  
"Don't talk about him that way—he's helped me so much. He's been so kind and good to me and to you and I like being with him. I'm staying over tonight also so…don't—you don't need to call me. I'll be here, and I'll be fine" Matthew said curtly "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night." He clicked the end call button before setting his phone back down and sitting on the bed. He lay back, blowing out his breath in frustration as he pulled back his hair.

Ivan smirked, leaning against the door frame in Matthew’s room quietly watching as the other snapped at his longtime friend, things were falling into place beautifully and, unlike Alfred, Matthew wasn’t the talkative type so chances were he didn’t have many friends so it wouldn’t take nearly as long to alienate them and Matthew had already taken care of the parental situation. The other finished his flustered call and Ivan corrected his features before walking towards Matthew and sitting on the bed next to him “He needs to learn to give you space, you are safe with me…” he smiled.

Matthew sighed, feeling a little guilty at the way he had spoken to his friend just then. "I know…he just—I know he cares about me, and we are very close, but—sometimes, he acts like we are together, or something…but, maybe I was too harsh with him. He was just concerned about me."

“It sounds like he wants you for himself” Ivan said leaning back a bit and supporting himself with an arm behind his back. “Don’t let him make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself.”

Matthew looked up at Ivan, sitting up slowly. "You're right" he admitted, shifting one foot over the other as he looked at the floor "I have to tell him how I feel…instead of holding it in." He wouldn’t let Gilbert control him. He lay back down, loving the other's encouraging words. Ivan always said such encouraging things "Thank you…"

“I just want what’s best for you” Ivan said as he smiled down at him. He turned, kneeling on the bed before hovering over Matthew and kissing his lips firmly “I love you and thank you for loving me back…”

"I love you too" Matthew replied, returning the other's kiss "so much…" He stroked the man's cheek as he smiled "Thank you for letting me…"

Ivan leaned into the touch with a smile and just looked into the happy lavender eyes for a moment before he remembered that the other was trying to say something before being interrupted “What were you saying before?”

"…" Matthew looked up for a moment, trying to remember "Oh! Um, responding to your question, we could watch another horror movie?"

“That’s sounds good but this time you should pick” Ivan smiled “you can search through my collection and pick out whatever catches your interest.”

Matthew nodded, standing up from the bed. He walked downstairs and looked at the wide range of titles on the shelves. He scanned the titles, picking up some movies, comparing actors and cover art before reading the summaries and reviews on the back. He finally settled on a movie titled "Fatal Attraction." The cover showed a man embracing a woman who was turned away from him, there image like a monochromatic photograph with a split from top to middle that separated them from one another. The background was bright red. Matthew nodded at the selection before bringing it back to his spot on the couch with Ivan "I found this one"

Ivan glanced at the title “Good choice, have you seen it before?” he asked taking the movie from Matthew.

"I saw the ending on television a few years ago" Matthew replied "it was good."

Ivan chuckled “It’s much better if you see the entire thing.”

Ivan put the DVD into the player after he'd turned on the television, and he and Matthew sat down on the couch to watch it. As the film started it showed an attorney having an affair, while his wife and daughter were away for the weekend, with an editor for a publishing company. Although the man only wanted a one night stand with the woman, the woman begins to cling to the man, insisting that there is a deeper connection between them. As the movie progressed, the woman with whom the man had slept with became more and more desperate to be with him, and obsessed over him. Matthew looked on sadly at the scene in which there was a boiling pot on the stove, with the daughter's pet rabbit in the pot. It was another threat from the woman, which had intensified from the beginning. Her first menace was slitting her wrists in an attempt to make the man stay with her, then she'd mailed to the man a threatening tape, and had even stalked his wife, picking up the daughter from school, claiming to be her mother. "The ending makes a lot more sense now…" Matthew whispered, holding onto Ivan.

Ivan nodded “I almost pity her though. If she hadn’t have been so unstable she might have been able to be happy. I do wish that movies like this wouldn’t feel it necessary to kill animals to prove a point though. Far too many use it as a cheap tactic for audience sympathy.”

Matthew shook his head at that scene, "I know—this seems like a good movie, aside from _that_. I mean, there are plenty of other ways to create a sympathetic audience." Leading into the movie's conclusion was the scene Matthew had recalled. The wife drew a hot bath for herself and the woman stalked her, standing behind her and nervously digging the knife she held into her own leg while explaining who she was and why she was there. The man was downstairs boiling hot water in a kettle on the stove, unaware of the happenings in the upstairs bathroom. There was a heated struggle between the two woman before the wife screamed loudly, attracting her husband's attention at her distress. He ran upstairs and after a brief struggle he drowned the woman in the tub. And after the tension died down as the man turned to his wife, panting on the floor, the one which he thought he'd drowned sprung up from the water with the knife raised over the man. A gunshot was heard; a bullet sprayed the woman's chest with blood before she slid down the wall, finally dead. The camera turned, showing that the wife held the gun, standing by the doorway.

Ivan smiled as the movie came to a close and the credits rolled “I do enjoy the ending, they could not have done that any better. The build-up, suspense, relief, and then the sudden birth and destruction of the renewed tension.”

Matthew grinned at the other's response. He loved the way that Ivan spoke, the way that he used words. He could definitely see why and how he was such a successful and talented writer. "Yes, I think the ending was the best part" the student agreed.

“Are you ready for bed or did you want to watch another?” Ivan asked, able to go either way as it was still somewhat early in the night. Though he was tempted to lead the other to bed to have a little fun again he could wait a bit, he didn’t want to fill the other with doubt or thoughts that he was only interested in sex.

Matthew yawned, stretching out his legs as he started to feel, not sleepy, but that he wanted to lay down with the other. "Can we go to your room?" he asked, still holding onto Ivan's arm as he spoke.

“Of course” Ivan smiled at the adorable actions “I would have insisted on mine as I haven’t changed the sheets on yours” he chuckled as they stood and walked to his room, arms linked until they reached the bed and laid down together.

Matthew blushed softly as he remembered what they'd done on the guest bed. As they lay on Ivan's bed, the honey blond cuddled against the other's chest, warming himself, his hair rubbed against the man gently as he leaned his head against him. "You're so soft…" Matthew smiled as he closed his eyes.

Ivan wrapped a hand around Matthew, resting it on his lower back as the other ran through his hair. He chuckled at the other’s comment “I love how you feel too.”

Matthew leaned into the Russian's gentle touch, loving the way that he stroked his hair, his soft breaths hit Ivan's chest.

Ivan felt the other lean and cuddle into his touch and his smile and tone softened “You’re like a cat asking for affection…”

"…Is that…a good thing…?" Matthew purred, looking up at the other.

Ivan grinned at the purring tone “Yes, very…” he said kissing the other on the tip of his nose.

Matthew blushed at the kiss, moving up a little to kiss Ivan's cheek.

Ivan smile at the attention though there was a small piece of him that wishes Matthew was a little more sexually interested but the majority didn’t want Matthew to change and was happy with the soft little ray of sunshine that had graced his life and…with a little time…he could shape Matthew, he just had to figure out the perfect positive reinforcement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	8. Chapter 8

Matthew gazed up at the other, happiness spread over his features. He loved having the man's arms around him, loved being pulled in Ivan's strong warm body. It made him feel so secure and protected. Though Matthew could see the tiniest inkling of disapproval in the violet eyes "What's wrong?"

“Nothing, love” Ivan dismissing the question with a smile “I would be embarrassed to say.”

"You don't have to be embarrassed" Matthew insisted, "just tell me what is bothering you…" He stroked the man's cheek gently, not wanting the Russian to be upset.

Ivan glanced away for a moment as he spoke, perhaps seeming a bit childish in his actions “I…want you again…” he said softly before glancing again at Matthew.

Matthew's face heated up at the other's words. His lavender eyes dilated as he looked up at the other, lips parting slightly as he leaned in to kiss his lips "You don't have to hide that…"

Ivan smirked internally at the response he received “I don’t want to demand too much…” he said cautiously.

Matthew smiled sweetly, wanting to make the other feel better. "You aren't" he leaned into Ivan's ear and whispered "I love you and I am yours..."

Ivan kissed the exposed neck brought to him as his hands trailed down to the other’s cloth covered cheeks and grabbed them, pushing Matthew up and against him “You have no idea how hot that is” he whispered, voice already starting to gain that rough, slightly deepened quality it had earlier.

Matthew gasped in surprise at the sudden grip the man seized on his buttocks, though he found the tone of Ivan's voice quite arousing, his face glowing at the roughness of his actions.

Ivan scattered kisses on the unmarked side of his neck, working his way down before leaving a dark hickie on his shoulder. He flipped them so that he was on top and kissed his lips, his tongue brushing the other’s lips requesting entry before exploring the mouth he wished to be buried in.

Matthew lay back on the bed beneath the other, spreading his lips as he moaned softly into his mouth from Ivan's coarse method of marking him from his neck down to his shoulder.

Ivan loved how the other responded and how willing the other was now. He pulled away from the kiss when they were both breathless and worked his way down again, taking a moment to lightly pinch and rub at the already pebbled flesh of the nipples.

Matthew's soft gasps and moans mixed as the other stimulated the rosy mounds of small flesh on his chest, the buds becoming firm beneath the Russian's fingers.

“You should be more open about your desires too…tell me what you want…” Ivan implored, emphasizing with a gentle twist of his fingers.

Matthew's breath hitched in his throat as Ivan tweaked his nipples, his voice softened yet heightened with arousal as his face burned before choking out "I d-don't know…"

Ivan smiled, trying to comfort the other out of his nervous hesitation “Someday you’ll tell me” he said, pulling up to other’s shirt before placing his mouth on one of the little nubs for a quick lick before he traveled down the newly revealed skin. He made quick work of Matthew’s boxers, tugging them down and off before he pulled the heated erection into his mouth.

Matthew's gasp matched in height of the arching of his back against the silk, legs spreading and then closing as he felt the surging, wet warmth of the other's mouth over his hard member.

Ivan smirked around the leaking flesh and started to bob his head, tongue traveling over the length determined to get the other to cum.

Waves of pleasure surged through the student, tearing up his spine as his back rose from the silk once more. His toes curled as the man above him raised and lowered over his length. Matthew's mewls increased as his stippled chest rose and fell, stomach heating up.

Ivan’s hand ran over and stroked what wasn’t in his mouth, slicking it a bit with the small amount of spit that had leaked out from between Ivan’s stretched lips before he took his hand away and deep throated the other.

Matthew moaned in pleasure as he felt himself in the other's throat, voice trembling at his faster, more passionate ministrations. He felt himself desiring his release. "I-Ivan…I…cumming…" his hands moved to grasp the man's hair.

Ivan hummed around the mass in his mouth, enjoying the firm grip on his hair as the other unconsciously pushed him forward until he felt a warm liquid splash down his throat, swallowing quickly so he didn’t get over whelmed as he milked the cock dry. He pulled off and licked the other clean, enjoying the slightly bitter, salty taste until Matthew whimpered at the sensitivity of his softened flesh. Ivan pulled off with a smirk as he licked his lips with a look that spoke volumes about his desire for Matthew in that moment. “That was more like it” he teased, referring to how the other gripped him for more.

Matthew panted at the heat and liquid that had been sucked out of him by the other. It left him empty and craving more from the experienced Russian as he trailed his hands down his exposed stomach, desperate for Ivan's domineering touch "…You make me feel so good…"

Ivan lifted himself “You do the same to me…” he said as he slipped one of Matthew’s legs between his and pressed the large bulge hidden behind the loose pants against his leg. Ivan watched as Matthew’s hands traveled down “Are you ready to tell me what you want?”

Matthew swallowed hard, his heart pounding against his chest rapidly at the other's erection pressed against his thigh. The red color spread into his cheeks and shoulders, showing lightly on his stomach "You…" he whispered breathlessly.

If Ivan hadn’t have been so focused on the answer, he would have been impressed with the size of the other’s blush, instead he questioned again “How do you want me?” he was determined to further corrupt the little angel spread beneath him.

Matthew turned his face from the other, not wanting to look at him as he responded "I…i-inside…me…"

Ivan smirked as the other finally said it and kissed his chest “Thank you…” he said softly as the other turned back to look at him. Ivan tugged off the lounge pants and tossed them in the general direction of the bathroom to be picked up later. He leaned over and grabbed a small tube of lube since the larger bottle was still in Matthew’s room and slicked his fingers “You should still be loose from earlier but I’m not going to put something large in you while you’re soft, it would be too uncomfortable…” He eased his index in to slick the way before quickly following up with his middle as well, sure enough the other was still fairly loose, and started to rub and stroke the inner walls.

Matthew's heated whimpers melted into aroused moans as he felt Ivan's fingers stroking his insides. He still tightened, only slightly around the man's fingers, but he was much more comfortable this time, and there was no pain. His eyes lidded as they had before and he looked up at Ivan, blushing even harder.

Ivan kept his touches gentle, a ghosting of pressure and caresses. He grew bolder as he started to see Matthew re-hardening and he slipped in a third finger, mostly to tease the other for a moment before pulling them out and slicking himself up. He grabbed Matthew’s legs and held them up and out of the way as he lined up and thrust in.

The honey blond was moaning loudly as the other pushed his hot erection into him, his legs had been lifted and spread from each other as Ivan moved.

Ivan started at a gentle, shallow pace and worked up to a more intense one, never going far enough to be considered rough, not yet.

Matthew's lavender eyes were again half veiled under his lids and lashes as his mouth gaped open in moans of pleasure at the gentle pace of the other just below the surface of the younger man's inner walls.

Within minutes Ivan leaned forward and worked himself deeper, smirking when the other reacted to him brushing against his prostate. Ivan had his target and focused his efforts on hitting it as precisely as possible.

Ivan's prodding at the other's prostrate pried a series of harsh, loud moans from the other. Matthew's lidded eyes wandered above the ceiling.

Ivan’s breath was mixed with rough groans whenever Matthew squeezed around him in pleasure, it was both saving and damning as he felt himself getting closer but he didn’t want to end their fun just yet but he couldn’t bring himself to stop so he let go of one of Matthew’s legs and gripped his cock instead, thumb rubbing firmly across the leaking head.

Matthew gasped in shock as Ivan stifled his release, gripping his length tightly. His body lurched, back writhing and arching as his moan turned to a whimper, eyes and mouth gaping slightly "Ivan, I'm c-close…"

Ivan moved his hand, his thumb stroking across the sensitive crown on every upward pull and deep thrust as he watched the other fall apart.

Matthew moaned as his body arched against the silk in its helpless state. The other showered him with pleasure in each rough jerk of his hand, harmlessly tormenting the honey blond's aching length which hardened in his grip. Though Matthew struggled to string together the words that would allow the other to bring him to his release "I-Ivan, I…"

The other had incredible stamina for one so inexperienced Ivan would think in hindsight but for now he was focused on getting the other to cum “I’m close…” he breathed harshly “cum with me…”

The student's back curved in a sharp, upward arch as he orgasmed, grabbing the other's broad shoulders to steady himself. His moans mingled into his breathless panting as he called the Russian's name, unconsciously accented with French in his spiraling rise of pleasure. Matthew's half lidded eyes crossed briefly before rolling backward and closing, the younger feeling for a moment as if his soul left his body, which stilled as he breathed heavily beneath the other.

Ivan came as the other clenched nearly painfully tight around him, thrusting sporadically as he did, extending both of their orgasms until Ivan stilled and pulled out, smirking as some of his cum trickled out. He laid next to Matthew and kisses him breathlessly “Thank you…”

Matthew looked up at the other, voice trembling as he spoke "…Did I…make you feel better…?" He smiled softly as he raised a hand to stroke Ivan's hair.

“Yes” Ivan said leaning into the touch “though I hope you enjoyed it as well.”

Matthew nodded as he turned onto his side, exhausted from the event. His soft breathing soon filled the room as he relaxed against the silk.

Ivan wrapped his arm around Matthew and pulled him close, taking a minute to tug the sheets out from under and over them before settling into bed, spooning against Matthew “Goodnight” he said softly with a kiss to the marked neck.

"Goodnight" Matthew replied softly. He cuddled against the man and fell asleep after placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

Ivan smiled as the other wiggled closer and shut his eyes as his breathing steadied and as he felt Matthew relax in the throes of sleep Ivan felt himself surrender to the embrace of sleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye. This one's a little short but I'm hoping the next one will make up for it ;)
> 
> ~Poison


	9. Chapter 9

The morning came all too quickly to separate the two again, the sunlight poured through the window to nudge the other from sleep and remind him of previous school engagements which he'd forgotten about. The days he had spent with Ivan were nice, but he knew he had to focus on classes again, and on the final performance of the play that week. There would be time for the Russian after the semester ended. Matthew stretched and rose from the bed. His hair fell over his face as he tilted his head forward, still somewhat asleep. The bed creaked softly as he stood up, and Matthew quickly turned, wondering if the small noise had stirred the other from sleep.

Ivan blinked slowly as he stretched; back arching a bit as he did. He looked up at the reason for his wakening and smiled “Good morning Matvei” he said a bit groggily.

Matthew smiled, practically melting at the accented nickname as he sat down on the bed next to the other "Good morning, Ivan."

“Do you have to get up?” he asked propping himself up and kissing the other’s hip.

"Ah yes…" Matthew replied, stroking Ivan's head and neck lovingly "I have class today."

Ivan closed his eyes, enjoying the attention “Alright” Ivan said softly “let’s take a shower and I can take you there.”

Matthew nodded, "That sounds nice" he smiled, giving the other a morning hug.

Ivan stretched the rest of the sleep from his limbs and sat up “Come on then” he smiled as he walked to the shower, turning it on and letting it heat for a moment as Matthew followed and they both got in.

Matthew soaked his body and his hair under the hot water, the thin steam from the heat clouding the mirror and curtain quickly.

Ivan grabbed the soap and lathered his hands before passing the bar and washing himself as Matthew did the same. They washed up and rinsed quickly before drying and getting out. Ivan went to his room to dress while Matthew went to his to do the same. Ivan met back with Matthew in his room and they walked down the stairs “Do you have enough time for breakfast?” he asked.

Matthew smiled "Ye—" the student was interrupted by an urgent knocking at Ivan's front door.

Ivan’s eyes narrowed…people _never_ came to see him. He glanced at Matthew and silently guided him to the kitchen where he would be hidden from sight before he walked up to the door and looked through the peephole and saw Gilbert. He sighed, relaxing a bit, and opened the door “Hello Gilbert, I was just about to take Matthew to school after we had had breakfast, would you like to join us?” he asked politely, though miffed that the other knew where he lived, it would make things more complicated later on.

"Nein" There were only two scenarios in which the Prussian used German: when he was excited, or when he was angry. Gilbert's expression was dull, his red eyes flickered with anger as he moved past the Russian into the house " _I'll_ take him." He looked around, thinking his friend might still be upstairs "Mattie! Come on, time to go!" He turned around, facing Ivan "Where is he?"

Ivan dropped his façade and glared, eyes flashing in warning “You need to calm down; he’s in the kitchen…” He forced some of the tension out of his form and spoke again, a bit louder “Matthew? It’s Gilbert, please tell him that you just wanted something to eat and then we would all be on our way” he said, not taking his eyes off of Gilbert just in case he decided to follow through with the unspoken threat held in those red orbs.

Matthew came out of the kitchen, walking slowly toward the other two men who stood a few feet from the door. He held an apple in his hand, eyes shifting from Gilbert to Ivan, sensing the tension between the two. "Ah, Gil, Ivan is taking me."  
Gilbert's brow frayed as he looked at the other's neck, covered in hickies. He walked up to the honey blond, grabbing his wrists firmly, but not hurting the other as he led him to the door.  
"Gilbert, let me explain—" Matthew's face flushed with embarrassment at his friend's discovery of the marks, and cursed himself for wearing such an open shirt without a scarf to cover them. He placed a hand to his neck as if trying to hide the marks from the Prussian.

Ivan sighed as Gilbert looked the once again timid man over, analyzing the marks that Ivan left. He pushed off the wall and grabbed a scarf that had been hanging in the closet and draped it across Matthew’s shoulders after wrapping it a couple of times around his neck so that it settled more on his collar than on his neck but the other could adjust it however he like without the risk of it being too tight. “There…sorry I got carried away” he said softly “you’ll want a different shirt though, it’s still too warm to wear a scarf for long.” He rested his hand on Matthew’s head for a moment before smiling a bit “Just make sure I get it back…it was a gift from my elder sister.” He glanced up at Gilbert “As for you… For someone who claims to care so much for him you are quick to jump to conclusions and quick to condemn. He was fine before you showed, happy, but as soon as you come he gets nervous and closes himself up again. Rather than treating me as the enemy you need to take a look at whose best interest you have in mind” Ivan finished, still glaring at the other for a moment before looking down at Matthew’s surprised face “it’s up to you but it may be best to go with him for now. I hope to see again you soon.”

"T-thank you…" Matthew said quietly as he looked at the floor. He wanted to say more but he didn't want to make the Prussian angrier.  
Gilbert's nostrils flared at Ivan's words to him, his face twisting in an expression of fury as his hand twitched, wanting to strike the man. Though he exhaled, trying his best to maintain his composure. "How dare you…" he eyed Ivan coldly as he spoke "don't ever call him again—don't even think about showing up at his performance or I swear to Gott…" He pointed his quivering finger at the Russian, voice loaded with venom.  
He turned around, seething, and pulled Matthew out the door to the car "Come on, Mattie."  
Matthew followed but touched his pocket as a signal to the other that he still had his key.

Ivan nodded at the signal and smiled, Matthew would be back, with or without the other’s consent. Gilbert was alienating himself without realizing and before long it would be too late for either of them. Ivan hummed to himself softly as the students got into the car, he wouldn’t need to contact the other, Matthew would do that on his own and then…he might be able to move forward with the overall plan. Once the car was leaving he turned around and shut the door before fixing himself a small breakfast and going to clear up evidence from their previous activities.

The entire car ride to the apartments was completely silent. Neither student spoke at all. Matthew kept his eyes fixed on the ground and Gilbert straight ahead at the road. When they reached the apartments, Matthew got out, walking to his apartment quickly and angrily, tears in his eyes as he wiped his face. When he got in, he rushed to his bed and collapsed onto it. He gave a loud frustrated sigh and laid there on his stomach for a few moments, gathering his thoughts. He went to his class, unable to focus on the test. He tugged nervously at the scarf Ivan had given him and tried to get through the day. Matthew saw that the days were wearing thin, the time of the final performance was approaching rapidly now. The days just drifted by, lingering longer than usual since the student did not have Ivan to spend the time with. The night before the performance, he called Ivan  
"Ah…will you be able to make it to the play tomorrow?"

Ivan occupied his time with working on his book, the characters and story coming together fairly well with little changes here and there. He absently thought of Matthew and wondered why the other hadn’t visited but dismissed the thought as school work and was about to take a break when he heard his cell ringing and recognized the tone as Matthew. He glanced at the name to be sure and picked up with a satisfied smile “The play? Of course, what time is it showing?”

Matthew twirled a honey blond curl on his finger, "It starts at 8:30." He could hear the melancholy tone in his own voice, a result of that morning's event. He just wanted to be back with Ivan again.

“I’ll be there and be early so I can get a close seat” Ivan responded leaning back in his chair. He heard that tone and wondered if something had happened or if Gilbert was still bothering him from the morning from a few days ago.

"Great!" Matthew smiled excitedly at the man's response.

“I’m glad that improves your mood… now, why did you have such a dejected tone in the first place?” Ivan asked, curious more than anything because he didn’t get the feeling that something was truly wrong.

Matthew's face was fraught with shame after Gilbert had confronted him about what happened with Ivan. The Prussian knew that the other had sex with Ivan, noted by his neck, and had really yelled at him this time, insisting that Matthew was messing up his life by doing this, that Ivan did not really love him and would get tired of him. The albino student was really frightened that he was losing Matthew. He considered lying to Ivan, but then decided he had taken too long a pause to reassure the other that nothing was wrong. "It's just…Gilbert just…" he trailed off, remembering the other's reaction was enough to bring back his mortification.

Ivan had figured as much but through the tone it sounded far worse than he had thought. “Did he hurt you?” Ivan asked, restrained tension radiating through his tone.

"Yeah…" Matthew swallowed hard, breaking down at this point. The outburst had done emotional harm rather than physical, but it still hurt to have one of the only people he cared about and depended on to act that way. The sensitive honey blond wiped his face with his hand as a few tears started to fall.

Ivan saved his work and went to dress in something more appropriate for public rather than his sweatpants “I’ll be there as fast as I can and I’m sorry, if I had been taking him seriously I would have insisted that you stay with me.”

Matthew's eyes widened a bit, hearing the urgency and tension in Ivan's voice, "He didn't put his hands on me…just…what he said really hurt…" Matthew's voice quieted. "H-he knows what we did…I didn't expect him to react the way he did."

Ivan sighed, relaxing a bit “Thank you for clearing that up” he said leaning against the entrance to his room “I’m sorry that he hurt you, do you still want me to come?”

Matthew thought for a moment. He wanted to see Ivan but he knew Gilbert would think the worst and might yell again… He thought that the other might estrange himself from Matthew and cease caring about him. He didn't want to lose Gilbert. "No, that's okay." At the moment Ivan and the marks on the student's neck were reminders of what he'd done with Ivan. A part of him wondered just how it was that he did indeed become so invested in the author. "I'll…see you tomorrow?" He just wanted to be left alone to gather his thoughts, as well as prepare for the performance tomorrow night.

“Alright and yes, I’ll be there at seven if that’s alright and don’t worry the play will go beautifully” Ivan said tone lighter but still a bit worried, though he was relieved that he didn’t have to put Gilbert in his place forcefully.

"Thank you, Ivan" Matthew replied, a weak smile in his voice at the man's concern for him. The doubt in his mind about Ivan wanting him only for sex disappeared upon hearing how willing he was to give Matthew his space. "Good bye for now" he said before hanging up the phone and going over his script one last time.

“Goodnight and I’ll see you tomorrow” Ivan said, heading back downstairs to get some dinner. As he ate he decided to check on things in the offshoot of his basement, it had been quite some time since he had been down there and he wanted to make sure everything was alright. He finished eating and washed the dishes before going upstairs to his room to get the key for the studio room. Once he had it, he unlocked the main door and grabbed the metal box, doing the long series of mechanisms to reveal the key to unlock the padlock to open that. He took out the small, unassuming black box out from behind the stay of photos, Alfred’s still on top. Inside this box was yet another key, this one much newer than the key he had given Matthew. He set everything down and locked the main door before heading to the back corner of the room and finding the hidden panel, taking it out carefully with the flat back end of the key before inserting the key itself into the small hole and unlocking that too. This revealed a passage on the opposite side of the room behind Ivan. He stood and brushed off his pants before pocketing the key and descending the stairs, not needing a light for the winding staircase because of the familiarity of the path. The stairs continued for several minutes in complete darkness as the door, on a timer, shut itself. He reached another door, this one metal with a small window Ivan’s height and sound proof. He smirked as he opened that too with the same key and greeted the man there.  
“Hello, Alfred” he said, the other flinching a bit at the loudness of his voice after being in the silent room for so long. “I brought you some food, you must be starving” he said walking closer “it’s been two weeks since I’ve seen you last, have you learned? Have you learned that you can’t live without me?” Ivan smiled and sat in the seat in front of the blond who sat quietly, knowing not to strain the chains and collar keeping him unable to stand though they were loose enough to allow him a bit of movement, shifting to different positions and to get water and use the bathroom a couple of feet away. He tugged off the blindfold, revealing sky blue eyes, blinded thanks to the sudden brightness of the fluorescent lights scattered in the rather large room. “If you are on your best behavior then I’ll tell you what has been happening for the last month” he smiled “and I guarantee that you’ll want to know” he finished, eyes flashing a bit in threat. Ivan leaned back in the seat, holding the stew he had heated, it had needed to be finished anyway “Now, if you promise to behave, I’ll let you eat now” he said leaning forward and tugging the gag off.” Alfred coughed, mouth dry as he tried to speak, nothing coming out but another coughing fit so he nodded shakily instead. Ivan leaned forward and kissed his forehead “Good boy, here…I’ll even feed you” Ivan said happily as he took the spoon and scooped up some of the liquid first to allow the other something to wet his throat before moving on to the solids until Alfred had finished the bowl, Ivan tilting the bowl to allow Alfred to drink the rest of the soupy juice. Ivan set the bowl and spoon out of reach and returned to Alfred’s side “You know I love you, right? And that I hate to punish you but I do it for your own good, so that you can be safe. That’s all I want, I couldn’t let you go out and get yourself killed so I brought you here where I can love you and take care of you” Ivan explained gently and caressed the other’s dirty face “do you want more to eat?” he asked and he got a weak “Please” from the parched lips and responded “Alright but let’s get you cleaned up first.” He unshackled the other’s hands and legs and unhooked the chain from the collar without taking it off. He lifted the man and brought him to one of the corners of the room that held the bathtub, setting him gently inside before filling the tub with warm water and starting to gently wash the other’s pale skin, the lack of light doing awful things to the once beautiful, healthy tan he had sported. “Now, as I was saying, I found out that the boy that I have been talking to is your little brother. You remember him right, little Matthew?” Alfred nodded, recognition and the smallest spark of anger flashing in his eyes but he was too weak to do anything, of course Ivan would still keep a watch on him and keep him in line. “We have been getting along very well; dear Matthew and I” Ivan smiled warmly as he rinsed the other and continued speaking “it reminds me of you and I before you said you were leaving, though Matthew has been much easier to get along with than you were. But we broke you out of that rebelliousness didn’t we” Ivan kissed the freshly cleaned cheek affectionately. Ivan continued on, with both the gentle washing of the dingy skin and the story “he knows that I know you but he thinks that you might be dead….maybe if he will understand, I will let you two see each other and we can all live happily here…” Ivan finished washing and drying the man, who was too weak to even keep his head raised for long let alone stand, not that the atrophy from lack of movement would allow that anyway… Ivan set him in the chair, allowing him to sit on his own as he went to fetch more food before feeding him, putting him back in the neck and hand restraints but allowing him the freedom to move his legs and closing the steel door and subsequent doors afterward. He washed Alfred’s dishes and took a shower himself before retiring late in the night, eager to see Matthew the next day.

The night was certainly sleepless for Matthew, though he finally drifted off after watching a few old videos of him and his brother, particularly one in which they took a trip to Ontario when they were in high school. It had been a celebration after Alfred's ROTC ceremony, and the honors he had received. The sunlight crept through the window again quickly, and the day dwindled away very fast. Matthew showered, changed his clothes for his role in the play, and sat on the couch looking at his script before he heard a knock at the door. Matthew opened it after looking through the peep hole, seeing Gilbert in the frame. "Yes?" the student was still a bit upset with his friend but was glad that he was still talking to him.  
"I…I want to apologize for a few days ago…" Gilbert said quietly as he rubbed his arm. "I just don't want you to get hurt, Mattie. I—I really…love you" he admitted, looking up at the younger man with tenderness in his ruby eyes.  
"I forgive you" Matthew said softly, still not looking at the other. He blushed gently at the man's confession. After a few moments of pleading silence on Gilbert's end, Matthew showed that the love was unrequited, closing the door after uttering an awkward good bye. He trailed down a series of tiny links under his shirt and sat back down, having found a necklace chain to wear the key around his neck. At about 7:00 he walked to the theatre, sitting on the edge of the stage as he had before.

Ivan woke, dressed, checked on Alfred again to make sure he was doing well, ate breakfast and later, lunch before deciding to go ahead and leave for Matthew’s performance. He drove off, after making sure everything was locked and put away and arrived roughly an hour later at the performance hall where it was being held. Ivan glanced at his watch and saw that there was about an hour before it started so he walked in and scanned the stage for his little dove and, upon finding him, smiled and walked down the steep decline of seats “Hello Mattvei, did you sleep well?” he asked.

"Ivan!" Matthew hopped down from the stage upon seeing the Russian, running to him and hugging him tightly "I slept alright. Did you?"

“I’m glad” Ivan said returning the hug and giving the other a quick kiss “and I slept fairly well but I would have preferred to have you there. But I understand that you needed to work on the play and Gilbert.”

Matthew pulled away gently "…Yeah." He walked towards the stage again, wondering if he should tell the other about the Prussian's confession. "He said that he loved me" the honey blond said with his back to the other, still unsure of how he should feel in response to that.

Ivan didn’t let it noticeably faze him “What did you respond with?” he asked calmly.

Matthew looked down as he shook his head "I…" he sighed, "I don't want to say." He paused for a moment "I guess I feel bad."

“Why?” Ivan asked, wondering what the other wouldn’t tell him. He didn’t want to get suspicious of the other but the reluctance of information was not looking good for Matthew.

"He's been so good to me. He really just cares about me and…I've been pushing him away—a lot lately. I think I'm going to start spending some more time with him." Matthew admitted, turning around slowly to face the other "I don't want to keep hurting him…I don't want to lose him."

Ivan breathed deeply “Are you falling for him?” he asked, cautiously.

Matthew's eyebrow rose as he felt the sudden rise of tension when the other questioned him further "I…n-no?" He honestly didn't know what he felt for the Prussian "I don't…know…I just want him in my life." Perhaps it would have been better to have withheld the information from the Russian.

Ivan didn’t like the question at the end of the answer; he needed to bring Matthew back to him, and fast. Giving the other space worked last time but Ivan was wary of giving him too much freedom. “If you need time with him just promise me you will return to me” Ivan smiled sadly.

"I don't know if—"  
"—Matthieu!" Professor Bonnefoy walked in just then, hurrying over to Matthew. "You must very excited for tonight, no? You will do wonderfully, mon dieu!" He turned to see Ivan, "Ah, this is your friend?" Matthew introduced them. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Braginsky." The professor extended his hand to the man "I trust you will enjoy the show."

Ivan was saddened by the response, though unsure of exactly how to take it because he was cut off but he hoped that Matthew wouldn’t be running off with another after the time they had been together. Ivan shook the teacher’s hand with a smile after being introduced “Thank you, I’m sure I will; Matthew is extraordinarily talented, I can’t wait to see how everything comes together.”

"Well said, sir" Professor Bonnefoy smiled and placed an arm around the student, ushering him backstage, "come, Matthieu, there's much to do…" It was not long after that the theatre began filling with people, including Gilbert, who had spotted the Russian and decided not to confront him. After all, he was here to support Mattie, not cause more tension. He sat back in the theatre seat, waiting for the show to begin. By 8:30, the play had begun, the velvet curtain was drawn back by the unseen stage hands, and the scene opened onto Matthew sitting at dinner with his character's abusive partner. Matthew completely and undoubtedly stole the show. Every emotion he conveyed was entirely believable from the suspicious beginning to the sorrowful and heart felt ending. The entire audience was in awe and in tears by the student's final scene: a burial of Matthew's character in which he reflects on his relationship and his regrets. The audience applauded as the curtain swept shut, before opening again with the cast joining hands, and giving curtseys and bows to the crowd, who gave a standing ovation.

Ivan clapped along with the crowd, pleased with the other’s performance and the huge success of the play itself. He hoped to get a clear understanding of what Matthew had been saying afterward though, perhaps over dinner.

"Well done, Matthieu! The performance is a big success! And, I would like to congratulate you!" Professor Bonnefoy said, shaking Matthew's hand.  
Matthew looked confused, "On what…?"  
"Your decision to transfer of course" the other explained, thinking perhaps the other forgot. "Julliard will certainly miss a superb student as you, but I am sure that you have found something better!" With that, Professor Bonnefoy walked away, speaking with the other actors. Matthew stood there a moment, puzzled at the man's words. He then walked toward the back door, pushing past people in the aisles. As he got outside, Gilbert caught up with him.  
He placed a hand on his shoulder, turning him around. "Mattie, you did a great job tonight" he complimented his friend.  
"Thank you" Matthew replied and tried to turn around to keep walking.  
Gilbert held a firm grip on his shoulder, "Wait; please don't leave." The Prussian pleaded, pulling them both around the corner by the wall of the building. He would rather not have been interrupted by Ivan this time. He just wanted to talk to Matthew. "You never gave me an answer."  
Matthew looked down. "What do you want me to say" he asked curtly. He had no idea what to say.  
Gilbert leaned forward, "Mattie, please, just…give me a chance—I can make you happy…"  
Matthew could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath as he stood only inches away. It wasn't enough to be drunk, but certainly enough to have altered judgment. Matthew pushed him away gently. "Gil, you've been drinking—What is wrong with you??" Matthew felt the slightest bit uncomfortable in the small darkened space with his friend under the influence.  
"Mattie…just hear me out—just kiss me, we'll know if we both feel anything…" Gilbert leaned in further before Matthew could object and kissed the younger man gently.  
Matthew put a hand on his chest to try pushing him away again, but he was a little weaker than Gilbert, so the shove did nothing to move him.  
"Matthew, please I need you!" Gilbert begged desperately, moving a hand up to his neck and caressing it softly. He started to feel the links of the necklace chain beneath Mattie's shirt as his fingers trailed down "What is this…?" He pulled the chain out of his shirt, and studied the key before asking Matthew again "What is this?"  
Matthew's eyes shifted away from the other "It's nothing…"  
"He gave it to you…" Gilbert concluded at the other's hesitation, and became angry and desperate. He grabbed the chain "Why! Why do you like him so much?! What does he have that I don't??!" He yanked at the chain as Matthew grabbed his hands.  
"Stop! You'll break it! Gilbert, stop it!" After a few more jerks the links of the chain broke and in a desperate struggle Matthew's foot collided with the Prussian's crotch, and as the other sank to the ground in pain, Matthew ran without a second thought, tearing blindly down the block. He panted as his vision blurred and he rushed to his apartment, head spinning with fear and confusion as he closed and locked the door, sinking down onto his bed trying to catch his breath and keep his sobs quieted. Any feeling he had for his former friend had just shattered completely beyond recognition and he felt so alone and so afraid. He wanted Ivan. He needed him right now. But he decided he would go over tomorrow morning, seeking consolation from the man.

Ivan waited around after the play had ended and the actors had cleared the stage in hopes of seeing Matthew again but he never came. He waited a while in his seat, despite seeing Gilbert practically run backstage, before he too went backstage to look for Matthew and didn’t see him anywhere. Ivan lingered for a bit longer before sighing softly and leaving, the drive back home long and quiet. He gave Alfred a sandwich, washed both of them and went to bed feeling dejected, he needed to get Matthew back, get him away from Gilbert before it was too late. He was up late with these thoughts but finally was able to get to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	10. Chapter 10

Matthew's tear stained face was lit up with morning light. The student could hardly remember sleeping the night before. He woke up with a sigh, showering quickly and changing his clothes before he got in his car and started driving toward Ivan's house. The drive was much longer considering that he was by himself this time, but after what felt like a few hours the edge of the clearing where the trees began came into view. The woods stretched further and further along, before Matthew came to the large house with the stone path and parked beside Ivan’s car. He walked up to the door and knocked urgently.

Ivan woke up unreasonably early considering how little he actually slept so instead he rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

Matthew saw that he got no response and then remembered the key Ivan had given him. As he reached up to his neck he remembered the scuffle between him and Gilbert the previous night and knocked again, hoping to get a response. But then he realized that it was a little too early for Ivan to be awake and decided to wait in the car until the other woke up.

Ivan tossed in bed for a while before dozing off for a half hour and calling it quits on another attempt. Instead he got up and showered quickly before grabbing a pair of boxers and heading downstairs for breakfast. He was grabbing things to make pancakes and looked out of the window to see a car and, upon further analysis, Matthew. Ivan would have smiled at the prospect of seeing him again but the fact that Matthew hadn’t come in bothered him. He set the bowl of mix down and went outside, not caring about his state of undress because of the lack of neighbors. He walked up to the window of the car and tapped it lightly, disrupting the other out of his daze “Why don’t you come in for breakfast” Ivan offered.

Matthew jumped, slightly startled by the sudden tapping on his window. He looked out, seeing it was Ivan and opened the door, picking up the scarf the man had lent him from the passenger's seat. "Thank you" he smiled weakly, closing the door after he got out of the car "and thank you for this" he held out the scarf for the other as they walked up to his door.

“Of course, I’m glad it was of use” Ivan said, not commenting on the other’s skittishness. When they got in the door he put the scarf back in its place in the closet and returned to the kitchen to finish the pancakes.

Matthew noted the other's tired expression as they walked to the kitchen "Did you sleep well last night?" he asked, concerned.

Ivan made note of the tone as he poured the batter into the heated pan “Don’t worry about me” he said with a slightly forced smile over his shoulder “what about you?”

Matthew decided against withholding any information from the other. He would tell him about Gilbert—about what happened last night…Matthew sighed softly "Last night…when the show was over and I was walking home, Gilbert found me."

“I saw him run backstage; I guess he left after that…” Ivan said, admittedly getting a little worried with the way the conversation was headed. “What happened afterward?”

"I could tell that he had alcohol before then and…he…he started asking me to give him a chance and then he kissed me and I don't know what else he was trying to do but he found my key and he got upset about it because he knew it was from you. He yanked it off and I didn't know what else he was going to do so I kicked him and…I ran back to my apartment" Matthew said to the Russian, feeling his face warm up as he held back tears at remembering the event.

Ivan flipped the pancake to the uncooked side and set it back on the burner and sat next to Matthew, wanting to hold him and yet not because he was still unsure of where Matthew stood on their relationship, he tried to offer what comfort he could though “I’m sorry that happened but it’s good that you defended yourself.”

Matthew hugged the man, gripping him tightly against him as he apologized. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have doubted you—you were right…I should have trusted you…are you mad at me?" He asked, looking up at the other with penance in his lavender eyes. "Please don't be mad—I don't love him! I just felt so guilty for not doing more to keep our friendship."

Ivan hugged him close “I’m not mad, I just worry about you. As for you and Gilbert…” Ivan sighed softly but deeply “sometimes…no matter how hard you try…you lose someone you never thought you would.”

Matthew nodded "You're right" he gently pulled away from the embrace "I'm sorry…"

“I’m sorry that you went through it” Ivan said softly “but I’m glad you came back…”

Matthew sighed "Also, something weird happened yesterday—when I was talking to my theatre professor, he congratulated me on my transfer but…I never filled out a transfer waiver or anything like that. Probably a mistake with names or something…" The student tried to change the subject, but couldn't quite think of anything to fill the awkward silence.

Ivan’s hand tensed a bit “Of course, a mistake…” he stood and returned to put the pancake on the plate and poured another in the hot pan. “You wouldn’t actually want to leave, yes?”

"I wouldn't want to leave" Matthew shook his head, oblivious to Ivan's hand gesture. "I love Julliard, and if I left I wouldn't be able to see you anymore." He looked at Ivan "I never want to leave."

Ivan smiled over his shoulder “Good” he chuckled a bit “I would be a mess if you tried to leave…”

"I love it here far too much to even consider it" Matthew replied, having not quite caught the man's meaning. He believed the other was still talking about the school.

“Stay the night then?” Ivan asked as he flipped the half-finished batter.

Matthew turned to look at the other, realizing he'd meant _with_ the Russian, not at Julliard. "Okay" he smiled, hoping the other would forgive him for wavering so much. "Do you mind if I use your computer? I need to see if I can get the transfer mistake sorted so I can still attend classes tomorrow."

“Go ahead, it’s in the study” Ivan said “breakfast will be ready by the time you’re done.”

"Thank you" Matthew went to the study and sat down at the computer, swiveling his hand on the mouse so that the device would wake up. He clicked the internet icon and typed in his school's web address and pulled up the home page. Matthew worked quickly, looking over his shoulder every now and again to make sure that the other was still in the kitchen. He scolded himself for even telling the other about the transfer. He truly did want to leave—to clear his head and get away for a while; decide on a few things, like what he wanted. A relationship? Freedom to pursue his career? He didn't know. But he certainly didn't think he would find the answers in New York. Things were just getting too complicated. It took him a few minutes of back and forth emails to the registrar's office to get it cleared up, but as he finally did, he smelled the pancakes, just as Ivan had said. He erased the history, logged out of the website, then walked back into the kitchen "Glad I got that taken care of." He gave a half smile at the other, quickly changing the subject "The pancakes smell delicious!"

 

While Matthew was in the study room Ivan took one of the ingredient boxes that were situated above the stove, this one appeared to be a regular box of baking soda but there was a small pink sticker on the side, he poured a good amount of the white powder into the mix and used it to make the last two pancakes for Matthew, fixing them up and setting the table before Matthew returned. Ivan smiled at the other “Thank you, I hope you enjoy them.”

"Thank you" Matthew smiled at the Russian as he picked up his fork and pressed the prongs into a piece of the cake. Maybe he didn't want to transfer, maybe he did want to have a relationship with the other. He was unsure still, but he found himself remembering how wonderful and good and loved Ivan made him feel. Matthew sighed as he looked at the other, his conscience eating him alive about lying to the man "Ivan."

“Yes Matthew?” Ivan asked, waiting for him to actually eat instead of poking at his food.

"I'm sorry…" Matthew said, lifting the fork "…I haven't been honest with you." He took a bite of the pancake after finishing his sentence.

Ivan continued eating, realizing just how hungry he was “What do you mean?” he asked.

Matthew's gaze shifted from the Ivan and then to the table. After a small pause he looked up at the other again "I really kind of do want to transfer schools." He took another bite of the breakfast and swallowed hard as the other remained silent, continuing to eat his food. "I've been looking at some acting universities in France and I think I might visit during winter break." He shook his head slightly in remorse, "I didn't feel right not telling you the truth. So…what do you think?" he was quite interested in the man's opinion.

“I’m glad you told me and honestly I’m not sure what to think” Ivan said with a sigh. “I haven’t looked into other universities but I know that the one that you attend is very good. As for going to France, are you sure you want to be so far from your family?”

Matthew breathed out deeply before taking another bite of his food, "I'll be fine without my parents. They haven't really been around so it definitely wouldn't affect me now" the student admitted. He sometimes missed the family he used to have before Alfred's disappearance and the divorce, but there were only memories now, and parents that paid his tuition yet not much else. Matthew started to feel a bit dizzy as he spoke but supposed it was just a feeling of nervousness? He shook it off and kept eating.

Ivan was talking more about himself and Alfred when he mentioned family ‘He must already be distancing himself’ Ivan thought, though he noticed the other’s eyes drooping a bit and him shaking himself ‘it’s taking affect…’ Ivan thought as he too continued eating.

Matthew's hand trembled slightly, fingers unraveling from the fork before it clanged to the floor. It had to be much more than just nervousness. He tried to speak as he focused his sight been the other's eyes as his vision started to blur and he felt his head spinning. "What is…Ivan, I don't? …F-feel…" was all he managed to say before he felt himself falling, drifting out of consciousness.

Ivan saw him tipping and caught him before he fell to the floor “I’m sorry about this but I can’t have you leaving me…” he said softly, kissing the other’s slightly parted mouth. He lifted him and carried him to his bed, going downstairs to clean up breakfast without worrying. He had given Matthew a decent dose of the drug so he was going to be unconscious for at least two hours, if not longer, so he had plenty of time. As Ivan was doing the dishes he wondered what he should do with Matthew, he wasn’t worried about Gilbert now that they had had a falling out and the school was expecting him to leave so he wouldn’t be expected to go. He decided that he would give Matthew another reason to stay, show him that they all could live there, in his house, as a family. He smiled as he finished and returned to Matthew’s side, taking his time to enjoy his peaceful form. He knew the next step would be chaotic but he had to believe that Matthew loved him enough to understand. First things first, Ivan had to get rid of anything that might intrude on Matthew’s reunion with Alfred, he took his phone and, after transferring Gilbert’s number to his own phone so that he could keep his promise to the other, he destroyed it. There wasn’t much else that the other was carrying so he took the keys to his car and put them in a drawer, he would get rid of the car later. Once everything was done and ready he carefully carried the other to Alfred’s room downstairs and set him in the chair. He took off Alfred’s blindfold and greeted him with a soft kiss “Hello Alik, your brother is here to see you and once he wakes up we can all catch up” Ivan said happily as Alfred looked on in a torrent of mixed and conflicting emotions, happy to see his brother, furious to see him unconscious with the man who had held him captive for years, and depression mixed with a small ray of hope; maybe because he was there they could both get out…

 

The hours had passed, just as Ivan had said, before Matthew came to. He groaned groggily, eyes fluttering slowly open as he raised his head and his hair fell limp in front of his face. The lavender eyes squinted, blinking in the dim light to correct the blurred vision. He struggled to remember what had happened before. As his vision came into focus again, his eyes flew open wide with shock at the blond seated in front of him "…A-Alfred?" His eyes immediately pooled with hot tears that oozed down the student's face as he tried to make sense of the miracle in front of him "You're alive!" Though his emotion changed from that of relief and happiness to pure dread, fear, and confusion as he looked over to see Ivan standing beside Alfred. "Ivan, what is going…on here??" his tone was soaked with desperation and confusion at the situation, as well as his brother's current dilapidated and unhealthy disposition.

“I wanted to show you that you do have family here” Ivan said with a smile. “You don’t want to leave us do you?” he said going to Matthew’s side “we can live here; Alfred said he wouldn’t try to leave again.” Ivan looked at the tears and how Matthew’s eyes kept traveling between him and Alfred “I’m sorry he’s in such a state, he started to fight me so I had to show him that, while I still loved him, I wanted to protect him so he needed to be punished for a little while. But now he’s back on a regular diet and he will get better soon” Ivan said with a bright smile at the still slightly disoriented man.

Matthew could taste his heart as it pounded against his throat. He shook his head softly as more tears started to fall. "Ivan…" Matthew broke down as he spoke the man's name that had once offered such comfort and security "Ivan, please, stop…" He hoped that those words from his shaky whisper would be enough for his real, wonderful, charming Ivan to wake him from this nightmare and stroke his head until he fell back asleep.

Ivan tilted his head a bit, like a confused puppy and stood, stopping in front of Matthew and pulling him close “It’s alright Matvei, there’s no reason to cry. We can all live here happily” he said softly, running his hand through the soft hair.

Perhaps the man was not serious in this; it had to be some kind of crazy, lucid daydream. But there was no light, in any form, glinting through. There was nothing but a filmy, shadowy darkness that spread over the room, save the pallid Russian bathed in fluorescent light, a ring of light on his hair glowing like a halo, as if he might be an ethereal savior to the younger man. Matthew became a bit more frantic at the calm and composed answer he received. "No, Ivan!" Matthew cried "y-you have to let us go…please, I…we won't tell anyone…" Matthew smiled with a soft, hopeful tone, as if trying to reassure himself with his own words.

“You misunderstand” Ivan said sadly as the other continued to cry “we can all live here, there’s plenty of room and we can all be happy and as soon as Alfred learns not to try to run he can get the guest room” he emphasized happily.

"You can't keep us here like this!" Matthew shook his head, trying to get the point across to the man "they will put you in prison when they find out what you've done to Alfred!" The blond started to realize that his friend was entirely right about his allegations towards the Russian. But it was too late. He had fallen right into the man's trap. And the doors were closing all around him. Every scenario of anyone ever finding them played in his head and not a single one prevailed. He cursed himself for actually confirming the transfer, shaking his head as more tears fell. His shoulders shook with each sob as his mind raced "You can't do this—just please…let us go."

“Shhhh, it’s alright, no one will separate us” Ivan said “we can all be happy; you have everything you need here. You said you wouldn’t miss anyone and the school isn’t expecting you back, it’s perfect.” Ivan used his thumbs to wipe away the tears “We can all be happy here, don’t you see? This is a good thing.”

Matthew writhed against the chair, trying to escape the restraints "Let us _go_!!" was his trembling and helpless reply.

“I will, as soon as I’m sure that you won’t leave” Ivan insisted, trying to get the other to calm down before he hurt himself.

Matthew tugged at the ropes around his wrists as he felt Ivan's hand pat his shoulder as if to comfort him. His mind began racing with questions: where exactly in the house he was, how deep underground… He thought for a moment that someone might hear him, perhaps if he screamed. "HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!" Matthew inhaled sharply, filling his lungs with air before screaming harshly at the top of his voice.

Ivan shook his head and sighed; Alfred had done the same thing, though more violently, when he was brought here. “I’m sorry Matthew, I had hoped you would be different” Ivan started with genuine sadness in his eyes and tone “I’ll have to show you that you need me as much as I need you.” Ivan sighed and kissed him one last time, gently on the lips, before backing away and returning to Alfred. He undid the restraints that held Alfred, lifted him carefully, and carried him out. Ivan locked the doors behind him intent to check on Matthew again in a couple of hours and see if he was more willing. “Come on Alik, let’s get you something to eat” Ivan cooed at the limp man who just blinked slowly in response.

Matthew's eyes widened with fear as the Russian unclasped the shackles from his brother before carrying him away. "No, STOP!" he yelled through glassy, wide eyes, unaware of what the man intended to do with his brother, or if he would ever see him again. But the other walked away with the drugged blond draped in his arms and closed the doors behind him sealing them shut. Matthew's heart spiked with dread at the sound the locks made as they shut, leaving him in complete darkness as the man's heavy footsteps started up the stairs and quieted. Matthew cried out in desperation and fear, dropping his head as he sobbed, thinking suddenly of Gilbert.

Gilbert sighed as he looked at his phone for the third time in the last few minutes with the hope that, any second, Mattie's name might come up on the screen and they would be able to talk about what happened. It had been three whole days since the other had contacted him or since Gilbert had seen his friend at all. It was strange, considering that the other was not notorious for holding such grudges or being this unforgiving. He figured that he should have heard something by now. He ran a hand through his cropped white hair before exhaling a deep, shaky breath. He had screwed up, big time, but he didn't know the other would take this so hard. Gilbert looked at the key that sat on the bedside table, feeling a flourish of anger. It was all that freak's fault. Ivan Braginsky. Gilbert and Mattie had been so close and so happy before he came along and ruined it. Gilbert picked up an empty beer bottle from a few nights ago and threw it, glaring as it shattered against the wall, the few drops left trickled down before dripping onto the floor. The more he thought about it the more motivated he became to hold onto some tiny patch of hope, as well as determination. He took in a deep breath, and then called Mattie's number. As the phone icon glowed on the screen Gilbert sat up a bit straighter. Maybe Mattie would pick up finally, and they could talk, and he could finally apologize. He gave a disappointed sigh as he heard the younger man's voice mail. After trying several more times he decided to get up and go see if Mattie was home. As he went downstairs to his floor, he caught a glimpse of the parking lot from the banister. Mattie's little silver dodge was nowhere in sight. Gilbert raised an eyebrow, confused for only a second before putting two and two together. Mattie was at Ivan's place again—that's why he hadn't responded. That's why his car was gone. Gilbert went back to his room to grab Matthew's skeleton key and his own keys before taking a little visit to the Russian's house.

While Ivan was waiting for Matthew to come to his senses he disposed of Matthew’s car, he didn’t need people snooping and trying to take Matthew away before he understood that they all would be happy with him. He kept an ear on both of his boys, Alfred becoming more complacent as he realized that there was no change, no help, and Matthew was to experience the same fate he had.

Matthew, although still in shock and burdened with fear, would not break so easily. Perhaps there had been the tiniest doubt in his mind that his brother was still alive, but that doubt had disappeared as quickly as Alfred had materialized. Matthew would sooner be condemned before he let the hope that for so long burned within him be snuffed out because he was simply afraid. He listened carefully for any sounds coming downstairs or towards the room before slipping off his shoes and socks, and running his feet along the floor to find something—anything that might help him to at least untie himself. He hissed quietly as a sharp pain traveled in a jagged line up the sole of his foot before releasing warmth. He assumed in the darkness that he'd just been cut, responding with a mix of pain and joy.  
Gilbert drove until he came upon a familiar clearing of woods. He saw the house coming up but then he shifted his gear in reverse and backed up until he was near the edge of the darkening sanctuary of trees that hid the car and himself from sight of anyone who may have been in the house, though he did not see Ivan's car in the driveway, he decided it would be best to remain wary and not to let down his guard. He parked the car and got out, closing the door and locking the car as quietly as possible before walking towards the lone house again.  
Matthew came up with a plan to get the sharp object, which upon further analysis of running his toes carefully over it, was a small shard of broken glass. He leaned over forward, tipping his chair slowly and gradually until it touched the floor, and noiselessly let it lay flat on the ground. As he lay down on his stomach, he stretched out his neck, lightly placing his head down until he was able to nudge at the glass with his cheek. He turned his head, tilting it slowly as he opened his mouth, lips slightly cut by the glass as he clamped down his jaw to secure it against his teeth. Matthew wondered next how he could get the shard to his hands to cut himself free. He raised his head, leaning over his shoulder, and let the glass fall from his mouth. He used his upper body to strenuously raise himself, allowing the glass to slide down his back and into his hand, through it left small scratches in the first layer of skin, not deep enough to bleed but enough to sting. As he grasped the shard in his hand he moved it around in his fingers to position it against the rope, earning more shallow welts.  
As Gilbert came walking cautiously up to the door from the stone path, he noticed how unsettling the quiet was. He reached into his pocket for the brass key and then looked around. He turned his attention back to the door when the coast was clear, and turned the key in his hand until it lined up with the lock. Gilbert looked over his shoulder in paranoia as he turned the key in the lock, activating the tumblers and opening the door. It creaked open slowly, as if to warn of the Prussian’s presence. The Prussian peered around the corner before shutting the door and looking around "Hello?" he said "Mattie?" He walked around the corner, into the long hallway "Ivan…?" The house was even more eerily silent than the outside.  
As Matthew moved the glass in his fingers, he finally had the sharpened edge against the rope, and began feverishly sawing through, his shaky hands slicing thinly through his skin as he tore through the thick and knotted ropes. After what seemed like hours of cutting, the glass severed the last coil of rope and Matthew's hands were freed, trembling with anxiety as they were sanctioned to move again. Matthew grinned at his small victory though his happiness disappeared just as quickly when the student realised he still had to find a way out of the underground room. He dragged his body from beneath the chair and stayed on his knees, crawling around until he reached a brick wall, and began to feel around for loose panels or crevices of any kind.  
Gilbert crept up the stairs slowly, stopping for a moment as he reached the top, wondering if Ivan might still be somewhere in the house, waiting for him. It was just too quiet. Something wasn't right. As he walked down the hall, he thought he could hear, soft and slight breathing from the room farthest down. It was the only closed door, aside from the glass doors in the east wing of the upstairs. He edged closer, resting his hand on the door knob before pressing an ear to the door to be sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. And then opened the door, ruby eyes flung wide and gasping mouth gaping open at what he saw. The sleeping form in the bed, was a familiar, though malnourished, blond. As he crept closer to the bed, he saw the blond's face and his old friend's face flashed in his mind. "Alfred…" he whispered, and realized it was indeed the missing blond "Mein Gott." Gilbert whipped his head around as he heard a car pulling up in the driveway. He forced himself to remain calm and shut the door quietly before slipping under the bed, concealed from sight.

Ivan returned from his little mission and found his front door unlocked; immediately going on high alert. He moved the door open in such a way that it didn’t creek and glanced around for his unwelcome guest. He decided to check in the most prominent room, his bedroom where Alfred should still be sleeping. He crept upstairs silently, knowing to avoid the parts of the stairs that creaked, the closed door doing nothing to dissuade his suspicions. His eyes narrowed as he walked through the door, happy to see Alfred still curled up peacefully on his bed but he did not let that relax him. He checked the bathroom with a quick glance and the large closet and saw no one, though while he was in there he grabbed a gun he had hidden on the high top shelf and flipped the safety off as he continued searching. He glanced at the bed as Alfred shifted a bit and he saw a wrinkle in the bed that didn’t quite match up. He smirked and knelt down, still a fair distance from the bed, and saw a flash of white hair and red eyes “Hello Gilbert” he said ominously.

The ruby eyes shot open like a deer's eyes in the bright headlights of a coming car. The dark tone in the Russian accent sent chills up his spine, but the Prussian steeled his nerves upon seeing Ivan's smirking face and the barrel of his gun pointed at the Prussian’s head. He raised both hands as if to surrender before he pulled a switchblade from his back pocket as most of his body was shrouded in darkness, and slashed Ivan's face, shooting out from his hiding spot and running out the open bedroom door in a rush of adrenaline; making a beeline for the stairs but stumbling over the first few.

The knife was easily dodged from the distance, though not without a small cut, but Ivan quickly lifted himself when Gilbert bolted for the front door. Ivan was an excellent shot but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill the other just yet so as he was running down the stairs Ivan shot him in the leg, crippling him long enough to grab spare rope from the studio room before Gilbert reached the entrance. The Russian wrapped it around his throat just long enough for the man to black out before he was bound and tied to the nearest chair in the kitchen. Matthew would have to wait a bit longer; he needed to deal with this trespasser as soon as he woke up.

As Gilbert came to, refocusing his vision, it took only a few moments before he knew where he was. Pain shot through his leg as he tried to move it, the bullet deep inside the wound dug deeper with every movement and made it gush with blood that soaked through the Prussian's pant leg. Gilbert groaned in pain at the sensation, lifting his head and squinting his eyes at the afternoon sunlight streaking through the semi-closed blinds of the kitchen window, the birds chirped outside, but neither scene or noise brought any comfort to the struggling man in the chair as such things should. It was as if the birds were mocking his failure, the sunlight turning from his face as the blinds were evenly and entirely closed and the shadows seeped out, covering the room in a presently dim gray blur. "What the hell is this?" Gilbert growled "lemme go, you sick freak!"

Matthew felt along the wall until the brick changed to metal, his fingers trailed down the sleek material before running back up and finding slightly harder glass. His fingers etched a rectangular pattern around the edges as he dragged them over the glass. "A window! It must be…" he said in a hushed tone to himself. Just big enough to squeeze through. He quickly scrambled over to the floor where he'd dropped the glass. As he came back to the door and hit against the window with the shard, it broke into pieces while the window stayed intact, and Matthew decided he needed something stronger. He went back over to the floor, picking up the sturdy wooden chair and bringing it back towards the door. His heart sped up and he heard it against his eardrums as he reared back slowly to gain momentum, hesitantly raising the legs of the chair against the window, closer each time. He held his breath; he would try to break it next. That would take a bit more power and he had to gather as much strength as he could.

Ivan sighed “I’ll ignore that if you tell me why you broke into my house” Ivan said sitting in a chair across from him, a few feet away.

"Where's Mattie!?" he demanded, ignoring the other's question. His nostrils flaring as he tried to lunge at the man. "I know you have him here—I saw what you did to Alfred, so where the fuck is MATTIE!" Gilbert was terrified looking at the clearly unstable Russian whose tall shadow loomed over the table and over Gilbert's form although he was sitting down. But he wouldn't show his fear, not even for a second. He showed anger instead, attempting to show he was still in control even though he was restrained and captive and completely at the other's mercy.

“He didn’t tell you?” Ivan asked “he had planned to go to France and attend one of the universities there. The night of the play was his last night at your school. I saw him the day after but haven’t seen him since” Ivan explained.

Gilbert was a bit hurt by that, though he tried his best not to show it. He looked away for a moment to gather himself again and not break in front of the other. Mattie wouldn't do that, no matter how upset he was. He wouldn't just up and leave, and he would answer his phone at some point. "You're a fucking liar" Gilbert spat as he glared scornfully at the man "he wouldn't just leave—." Just as Gilbert said that, the two heard the sound of a spray of splintering glass, and the Prussian’s eyes widened at the clamor. "Mattie?!" Gilbert gasped. Was it Mattie? Was his friend still here? "Mattie!!!" Gilbert screamed desperately.  
Upon hearing his name, Matthew frantically pounded on the door, ramming his frail body against it as he screamed, "Gilbert?!! HELP ME!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!" Gilbert cursed in anger and relief as he heard the younger man's distressed but healthy scream. "Let him go!! Ivan—I swear to god if you hurt him—!!"

“Excuse me, I have to make sure he didn’t hurt himself” Ivan said standing and heading upstairs first to the bathroom to fetch some chloroform and then to the basement where Matthew was. He descended the stairs, pouring some of the chemical onto a rag before he reached Matthew trying to squeeze through the small window he had busted out. “I’m disappointed in you Matthew” Ivan said with a disapproving tone, walking up to him and grabbing his hair before putting the cloth to his nose and mouth for a couple of seconds before the other passed out “I had high hopes for you…” Ivan said as he opened the door and carefully lifted Matthew up and out of the window and furrowed his brows when he saw that the other was covered in small cuts, the wound on his foot bleeding freely. He carried him to the master bathroom, locking all the doors that could access both him and Matthew or Alfred still passed out on his bed, to bandage and clean Matthew up.

Gilbert had had to sit there and watch as Ivan carried Matthew's helpless and limp body past the stairs. He became even more worried and frantic upon hearing the door slam, and reacted with a vehement struggle, gathering all of his strength. But the ropes cut into his wrists, making angry raw areas that gradually opened with his strenuous writhing and bled on the floor, the red plasma slicking the ropes. Gilbert hatched a plan as he sat there, becoming quiet. If he could grease the ropes enough with his blood, he might be able to slide his hands through.  
Matthew groggily rolled his head as he tried to fight against the chloroform. His vision was blurry and lucid as he saw a snowy haired man in front of him "Gil…"

“It’s me” Ivan said softly, even as he tightened the bonds that would keep Matthew still. “You shouldn’t have hurt yourself” Ivan lectured “though I’m glad it’s not that bad.”

Matthew fought against the drug as hard as he could, struggling to say conscious, though the extent of time for which the drug could knock him out was not as long as it could have been, since the Russian did not leave it over Matthew's face for very long. As the other identified himself, Matthew's vision cleared, and he realized Ivan was tying him up again. "P-please…" Matthew whispered softly to the man, trying to regain his voice which had been mostly lost from his shrill screaming "please tell me if Gilbert…is here…?"

“He is in the kitchen” Ivan said “now let me finish cleaning you up” he continued, grabbing the warm damp cloth to clean the small cuts that he didn’t need to wrap up “I thought you were smart enough not to try to hurt yourself” he finished with a sigh.

Matthew's eyes glossed with tears at the morbid tone with which Ivan had delivered his answer. "Please don't hurt him…" the student pleaded with the other as Ivan cleaned his last wound. He didn't care what happened to himself, just as long as Ivan didn't hurt his friend "Please."

Ivan rinsed and set the cloth on the edge of the sink to dry a bit “He broke into my house while I was away. He was trespassing and brandished a knife with intent to harm if not kill me, it was self-defense. The ashen haired man saw the horror stricken gaze and responded with a light “I merely shot him in the leg. He will recover unless I see that he’s going to be a problem.”

Matthew sank down as he heard the Russian's response "Ivan, please don't hurt him" he begged the man, "please, I—I won't try to leave anymore! Please just don't hurt him!" he cried.  
Downstairs, Gilbert had just slipped out of the ropes that bound his hands. He leaned over and worked quickly at the knots around his ankles and untied himself. As he stood up he knocked the chair to the floor and then hid around the corner, waiting for the Russian to come downstairs so that he could sneak back upstairs and get Mattie and Alfred.

Ivan heard the chair fall and he sighed “All I want is for us all to be happy, why doesn’t anyone understand that” Ivan said, frustrated as he started to get angry with how the whole situation was falling apart when it was supposed to be a wonderful reunion. Ivan wondered if he should go downstairs and see if the other had escaped but with them locked safely upstairs he wasn’t worried.

Gilbert limped silently up the stairs, carefully looking around the corners, the switchblade he had taken from off of the table and now held behind his back again, determined not to miss Ivan this time around. He crept up to Ivan's door, counting in his head back from ten with his hand on the door knob. He turned it quickly and opened it, holding out the blade in front him tightly "It's over, Ivan" he said to the Russian "let them go."

Ivan exhaled deeply with one thought running through his head ‘Why the fuck is everything falling apart…’ he quickly turned and drew his gun again, shooting Gilbert in the chest and watching him drop immediately to the floor in the doorway “I’m sorry Matthew but I had no choice…”

Everything had happened so quickly. Before Matthew could blink he heard the gunshot and saw Gilbert's body drop to the floor, the gaping bloody hole in his chest smoking from the hot bullet searing inside the flesh and turning the heart. Matthew screamed in horror as his friend lay on the floor and saw that his blood had splattered Matthew's shirt and Ivan's face. "No!!" Matthew cried, pushing himself from the edge of the bed and beside Gilbert. "Gil, say something, please! Gilbert!" Matthew nudged the man's face with his own as his hands were still tied. The honey blond saw the exact moment in which the soul departed from the flesh and thought he heard the final breath leave his vessel like a vapor as the ruby eyes faded, leaving his cooling husk on the floor. Matthew's tears slipped down his face as he turned back, looking up at Ivan. "You killed him" his voice trembled as he whispered to the man.

“I had to!” Ivan yelled, losing a piece of himself in response to the accusation in the tone “he was going to hurt you again! Why don’t you understand!” he said walking towards Matthew and the lifeless form on the floor.

Matthew's lavender eyes amplified with fear at the Russian's rough and angry tone. The smell of blood was so thick in his nostrils; he gagged as he began to taste the iron soaking through his clothes. "C-can I please…have something else to wear…?"

“Of course” Ivan said setting the gun on the side table next to the bed and helped Matthew stand. “Let’s get you cleaned up” Ivan said his tone still rough but softening in response to the other’s request as he led the other to the bathroom again and took off the rope binding his hand and legs as the water ran. “Don’t get your foot wet” Ivan said referring to the bandaged foot as he got the rag from earlier and rinsed the blood off.

Matthew's jaw clamped down on his lip as it trembled and his eyes filmed with water. He removed his clothes before stepping into the tub and slinging one leg over the edge. He tried to process the murder of his friend, and that he was still lying on the floor. He tried to convince himself not to think that he was simply unconscious. He was dead. And he was not going to save them. "I'm sorry" Matthew choked out breathily as his head drooped and his shoulders sagged.

“It’s alright; it’s not your fault” he said kissing his forehead “and no matter what I’ll still love you. I’m going to go clean up, don’t leave this room until I do.” Ivan said firmly before closing the door behind him and going to clean up the body and the mess it left.

Matthew nodded at the other's command, though his apology was more so for Gilbert than anything else. If it wasn't for him, he thought, his friend might still be alive right now. "Why did you care so damn much…" he whispered to himself, wiping his tear stained face. He pulled his knees to his chest as he whimpered, having forgot about Ivan's instruction to keep his foot dry. The water bloated the bandage, irritating the cut in his foot.

Ivan wanted to get rid of the body as quickly and cleanly as possible as he carried him downstairs so he planned to take him to the lake a couple of miles away into a deeper section of the forest Ivan surrounded himself with.

Matthew considered drowning himself at one point, especially since the tub was so filled with water; just hold his head under until darkness overtook him. But he couldn't leave Alfred alone again. He tried not to think of what was being done to Gilbert's body, bringing the lower half of his face and ears into the warm water and closing his eyes, ringlets of honey blond strands floating lightly over the water's surface. He breathed in watery breaths, blowing them out again, the sounds of his breaths filling the silence and calming him for the moment.

Ivan drove out to the lake with Gilbert’s truck and stopped at the edge, moving the body to the driver’s seat and putting the truck in neutral. It took quite a bit of effort but thanks to the slight decline Ivan was able to push the truck into the lake, giving it just enough momentum to roll in. He waited for a few minutes until it disappeared beneath the water and started the walk back to his home.  
All was quiet in the house while Ivan was taking care of things until, suddenly, Alfred woke and coughed violently, finally waking up from the influence of another drug “Mattie?” he rasped, not quite able to speak clearly or move very well thanks to being chained still for so long. He looked around and didn’t see anyone but his eyes widened when he spotted the large amount of blood beside the bed he was lying on “Mattie!” he called again as loud as he could manage.

The student shot up from the water, inhaling sharply as he heard his brother calling for him "Al, I'm okay!" Matthew called from inside the bathroom.

Alfred turned his gaze to where the sound came from and nearly sighed in relief “Are you hurt?” he yelled before the action sent him into another coughing fit.

Matthew thought a moment before answering and realized that Alfred was referring to the stain on the bedroom floor. "The blood out there isn't mine, it's…Gilbert's…" Matthew quieted a bit at the name.

“Gil? Fuck!” Alfred whispered harshly “Where’s Ivan?” he asked holding a hand to his head in a sudden bout of dizziness.

Matthew stood from the water, splashing around him as he stepped out of the tub, dripping water on the floor. He grabbed a towel from on top of the counter and opened the door "He said he went to clean up." He wrapped the towel around himself before walking out the door to his brother and jumping up on the bed, hugging Alfred tightly "Are you okay?"

Alfred returned the hug weakly, happy to see his brother “I will be but we need to leave, he wouldn’t leave us alone long.” Alfred winced in response to the sharp pain he got trying to move his leg. He laughed breathlessly, a bit of hysteria mixed with the sound “I can’t walk; you need to leave though, or at least hide and wait for a chance to escape.”

"Alfred, I can't" Matthew whispered, grasping his brother tightly. "I won't leave without you—I can't just lose you—not _again_ …and besides," the honey blond looked towards the door, as if the Russian might be listening "he'll get mad." He looked into his brother's light blue eyes and then pressed himself further against him, not wanting to part from him at that moment.

“Please Mattie…I have to know you’re safe. There has to be some place in this huge house to hide. This might be your only chance” Alfred coughed again, severe dehydration making it difficult to talk so much.  
It was taking longer than Ivan first thought to return home. The drive had been very quick but on foot it had already been 10 minutes and seemed like it would take another twenty. He shouldn’t have left Matthew and Alfred or at least not have left his gun in his room.

Matthew looked up at his brother again, unsure that he could leave him alone again. But he hated seeing Alfred so upset and so ill. "Okay" he nodded and gave his brother a weak smile as he pulled away from his embrace. He pulled a shirt and boxers from one of the drawers before shutting it again. After slipping them on quickly Matthew turned his back to the door looking at his elder brother one last time. "Be careful, please, Alfred. Watch your six" with that he cracked the door, slipped through, and closed it again. As he walked cautiously down the hall, he could only hope that Alfred could hold his own. He peered into each room before settling on the room inside the library. Matthew opened the glass doors and went between them before shutting both carefully and entirely. He looked across the room at the door that matched the wall at first glance. He ran his hand up the door until he found the latch that he had seen Ivan pull, and slid the door back, crawling into the small space and shutting the door again. He stayed still and quiet, listening for any movement or sound.

Alfred smiled at the memory “You too” he said softly as he watched the other leave before laying back down completely, keeping his ears trained on the outside for any sounds of Ivan returning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hums guiltily* Almost forgot to post this~

It took a while longer but finally Ivan arrived home and went immediately to his room. He saw that the gun hadn’t been touched and put the safety on before placing it back on the top shelf in his closet. He saw that Alfred had moved a bit and smiled at the sleepy man, kissing him on the forehead before going to the bathroom to check on Matthew. He walked in the see the bathtub full of water but lacking a certain blond. Ivan’s eyes narrowed, showing his displeasure at the sight. “Matthew!” he called, listening for a response before sighing and returning to Alfred. He sat on the bed next to him “Alfred? Where did our little Matthew go, hm?”  
Alfred blinked blearily up at Ivan “Mattie was here?” he asked, playing innocent “I didn’t see him” he said before coughing again and wincing as the forced action scraped the sensitive tissues.  
Ivan sighed “Alright, I suppose. Let’s get you a drink while I look for him, yes?” he said lifting the other and carrying him to the kitchen. He sat him in the chair he had used while speaking to Gilbert and grabbed a glass, filing it with water. He held the glass to the other’s lips and let him drink slowly; drinking most of the glass in one go. He set the glass on the table and kissed the other on the forehead “Don’t worry, you’ll get better soon, just don’t disappoint me again. I only want the best for you after all.”  
He left the kitchen to search for Matthew, starting with the upstairs. He went to the bedroom Matthew had used, reasoning that it was the room he would know best and be most comfortable hiding in. He searched the closet and under the bed, even under the sink in the bathroom that joined their bedrooms before moving on to the next room.

Matthew stayed where he was in the darkness of the concealed room, steeling himself not to flinch and keeping a hand clasped tightly over his mouth, as he heard Ivan's footsteps down the hall.

Ivan went through the other rooms on the second floor except for the studio room because he saw the key in its regular hiding place. He went downstairs and checked on Alfred, giving him a bit more of the water before searching the downstairs rooms, trying to predict where Matthew would have gone, searching the study room, the library, living room, and the various other little rooms with no luck. He sighed, wondering if the other had ran off. ‘Perhaps…’ “Hmmm” Ivan hummed softly to himself. He would check the rooms he didn’t think Matthew knew about, the little passageways and hideaways in the old home. He went to the library again and ran his hand along the side, finding the crease “If you come out on your own, I won’t punish you…” Ivan warned, standing next to the hidden door.  
Matthew's breath stilled in his throat as he saw the shadow beneath the door and heard the Russian's threat. He trembled as he drew his knees up to his chest and thought that Ivan might leave if he didn't make a sound. He pushed himself back against the wall, further into the dark of the room.

“Matthew…..” Ivan warned again, hearing slight shifting from behind the door that confirmed his suspicions. He waited for another couple of moments and upon not hearing any other movements he opened the door and yanked the other out “I didn’t want to do this but you are not giving me much choice. I will go easy on you because I know that you don’t know any better, not yet at least.” Ivan thought for a moment before settling on a punishment “You will clean the blood from my room, the stairs, and the kitchen. If you do well you can eat dinner with Alik and I.”

Matthew gasped as he was pulled out of the room by the other. He gagged at the thought of having to smell more of the blood from before. "No" he said boldly, lavender eyes glaring defiantly at the Russian.

“Then you should have come out” Ivan said sternly, dragging Matthew’s reluctant form to the kitchen to start.

"No! Let me go!" Matthew writhed in Ivan's grip as he was dragged to the kitchen. "I'm not cleaning it!" he insisted, shaking his head as he glared up at the other from the floor.

“You should have listened. If you don’t clean up now, you both will be punished” Ivan said darkly “but if you do it without complaint you will be rewarded. It is simple” Ivan said firmly, matching the other’s glare with a sharp look of his own as he dropped him unceremoniously on the floor next to the bit of blood and next to Alfred who’s eyes widened.  
“Please Mattie” Alfred said weakly “just do it…”

Matthew's frayed features softened at his brother's hoarse plea. He was only compelled to obey for the sake of his brother, not for Ivan. He sighed before picking up the damp cloth and the bucket that Ivan had set on the floor, and began wiping up the red stains on the hard wood floor. "Alfred didn't do anything wrong…" he muttered as he sopped up the blood onto the wet fabric before wringing it out.

“That’s because he knows that I care and that I only punish when I have to.” Ivan rested a hand on Alfred’s hair, running it through the pale, lifeless strands, his smile fading a bit. He had left Alfred in the dark room for too long. He poured a glass of milk and set it on the table before lifting him “We’ll be in the sun room past the library if you need me” Ivan said maneuvering Alfred to carry the light weight man and the milk to the room.  
Once they got there he set Alfred on the soft couch “You need some sun, relax” he spoke softly, imploringly. “Your brother is quite stubborn it seems but you’ll teach him, yes?” Ivan smiled, kissing the other gently on the lips before holding the milk up for him to drink a bit before setting it on the small table next to the couch they were sitting on.  
Alfred didn’t, or couldn’t, move much but he still flinched minutely with the kiss but accepted the drink, unsure when Ivan would change his mind again with the kind treatment. He glanced out of the large glass window, bathing in the sunlight he had seen so very little of for the last several months.

As Matthew tirelessly cleaned the kitchen floor and the other gruesome trails of blood, he felt his knees starting to ache from being on them for so long. When he'd finally finished, they were red and sore from having his body's weight on them. He dumped the bloody water down the sink and washed the cloth before he trudged down the hall and past the library to the sunroom. "I finished" he said when he'd opened the door, squinting into the bright sunlight that streamed through the room's huge picture window.

Ivan turned to look at Matthew “My bedroom as well?” he asked “Good.” He smiled “How about we get some dinner then” he handed the empty glass to Matthew “take this please” he asked as he picked up Alfred and carried him back to the kitchen to prepare a nice meal for all of them.

"My knees hurt" Matthew complained as they came into the kitchen. He sat down in the nearest chair after putting the glass away. The honey blond hated being told what to do. He folded his arms on the table and lay his head down, exhausted from the day's events.

“Thank you for doing it though, now we can all eat in a clean kitchen” Ivan said with a smile, a dark note tinting his words as he gathered ingredients to make chicken parmesan.  
Alfred sent a look to his brother, a warning he read in Ivan’s tone “Stop” he mouthed referring to the other’s complaints.

"Why?" Matthew mouthed back to his brother while Ivan's back was still turned. He was still very angry at the Russian—for everything. Keeping them here against their will, not entirely telling him about Alfred, and Gilbert…his arm moved under the table as he tightened his knuckles for a moment before loosening his hand again. If his complaining irked the man then good. Anything to be a bit defiant. "Don't you care that they hurt?" he asked softly, rubbing his hand over his left knee, eyes on the other "they're really sore…"

“Matthew~” Ivan sign-songed “it’s very rude to complain when you do something nice for another. I thanked you for it and you ignored me…I don’t appreciate that…” Ivan said, setting down the knife he was using to cut the chicken. “The food can wait. Follow…” Ivan said firmly, grabbing Matthew’s arm when he didn’t immediately stand. Ivan pulled him to the first room with carpet, the library, and pulled him to a stop “If you want to complain, then I will give you something to complain about” Ivan explained, stripping the other and using the shirt to messily tie his hands behind his back. “I have been wanting to try something with you and who knows, you might find that you enjoy it” he smirked and kissed the other firmly, hand wrapping around Matthew’s cock and stroking it quickly.

Matthew gasped, whimpering into the other's mouth as Ivan's lips smashed against his, bruising them with a dominant kiss. He writhed in the tight knot that held his wrists together, eyes widening at the sudden contact. He tried to pull himself back from the kiss as his body arched against the swift movements of Ivan's hand on his length, feeling himself hardening in his grasp.

“Relax” Ivan breathed “if you do it will be much easier on you” Ivan warned again before he tugged his pants open, not allowing Matthew the intimacy of actual skin contact. He pulled himself out and stroked himself to hardness “Suck me and remember to keep your teeth to yourself” he said simply.

The honey blond panted from the breathless kiss, face burning as the Russian pulled himself out. He hadn't thought that this was what Alfred had meant when he told him to stop. And he had never seen Ivan this way before. Perhaps a glimpse of it when they last had sex but not to this extent. He had forgotten the other's size, looking up at him from the carpet. "…I can't" he whispered breathily His knees were honestly still sore from before.

“You will learn” Ivan said as he gripped the other’s shoulder tightly, shoving him forward. “You want to complain? Try rug burn from a thorough fucking. And, unless you want me going in dry, you will do this.”

Matthew cried out at the pain of his tender knees rubbing the carpet, Ivan's hands tight on his shoulders, keeping him bowed against the floor. He felt his stomach twist at the sadistic tone of the other's voice above him, the narrowed violet eyes stared down on him, waiting for a response. And he didn't seem like one to make threats he didn't keep. The honey blond opened his mouth, closing his eyes as the man's head slid in between his lips. He slowly lowered his head over him, taking him in gradually, the other filling up his mouth.

Ivan exhaled breathily. He wished it was under better circumstances but he was pleased to have the other’s lips around him and though the threat for more violence lingered, his hand on Matthew loosened a bit of the other listened, hoping to teach the other with positive reinforcement rather than negative. As Matthew moved he moved his hand to rest gently on the other’s head, guiding the other but not forcing him to take more than he could handle.

The exclamations and noises slipping from the younger man heightened as he felt the other down his throat, gagging on the girth in such an unfamiliar place. A blossoming red tinted his cheeks and stomach eyes stinging with humiliation at such a submissive position. He stopped for a moment to take in a few deep breaths and calm himself before beginning again. He started to slowly bob his head over the erection, coating it in his own saliva as he moved, knees burning on the threads of the rug. He wondered if the other could feel his heart in his throat.

Ivan wanted to guide the other deeper but he was doing very well for someone who had never done it. After a few minutes Ivan tapped Matthew’s cheek to signal him that he could pull off and he did, breathing rapid with a strand of spit connecting them. He swiped his thumb across the slightly swollen lips, breaking the strand gently. “You did so well” he said, smiling at the other. He knelt down and untied the other’s hands “lie on your back and I’ll prepare you” Ivan said, wanting to reward the other.

Matthew's cheeks became burdened with a bright rouge at the other's praise. His lavender eyes drooped to half concealed by lids and lashes at the Russian's softer tone. After his hands were free of restraint he laid flat on his back against the carpet, legs drawn together at the knee, his slightly sweat dampened hair had curled with the moisture of perspiration as his lavender eyes trailed up to Ivan's violet gaze.

Ivan kissed both of Matthew’s knees gently before slicking his fingers with his own mouth before inserting the first, allowing the other to get used to the intrusion before he put in the second one and started to stretch the other “You are truly beautiful and I love you so much” Ivan said sweetly, his fingers finding and stroking his prostate.

Matthew turned his face from Ivan's view as he blushed harder than before. It was hard to maintain his contempt for the other and defy him when he was so aroused, as he had been all those times before. Though he tried to resist, his body unraveled in pleasure from the Russian's passionate attentions. He tightened and loosened around the other's fingers as they moved inside of him, stroking against the sensitive gland again, and making him moan.

Ivan chuckled a bit, this was the Matthew he loved, the bashful one that was embarrassed by his own desire but still wanted more. Ivan slid in another finger and worked to ease Matthew open as he slicked his cock with the precum sliding down his shaft, hoping to ease the way and resolving to carry lube for such occasions. Once he deemed they were ready he lined up and eased his way in, going slower that he usually would because of the lack of lube. He didn’t want to hurt Matthew and he had earned his reward. He gave him a moment to adjust and started to move, claiming the other’s lips in a kiss.

Matthew spread his legs for the other as the man entered and started to move. The honey blond moaned hotly into Ivan's mouth as his lips were captured in a passionate lock. He wanted to hold onto the other, though another part of him wanted to contain his desire for the other in a subtle display of insolence. The slow movements aroused him further, stirring his stomach and forcing his heart to pound against his throat once more. His trembling hands moved hesitantly to the other's shoulders as Matthew stared into the alluring violet eyes, unable to shut his own as he became entranced in Ivan's.

Ivan moved against Matthew, keeping his pace slow at Matthew relaxed, moving to kiss his neck lightly. He wasn’t sure if he should leave marks. This was more for Matthew to enjoy at this point so he wanted to keep it that way. ‘Though…’ he reasoned ‘Matthew only seemed bothered by it with Gilbert and others judging him so…’ Ivan smirked and sucked a light mark on his neck, focusing on the reaction he received.

Matthew's breath hitched, a gasp mixing into his moan as the Russian sucked his neck, stimulating a mark he'd left before. The younger man's eyes fluttered, cheeks and shoulders brightening at the sensitive spot being dampened by the other's mouth. He unconsciously raised his legs, placing them on both of Ivan's sides.

Ivan smiled and started scattering marks down the other’s neck, going slow and making them dark. He sped up a bit as he worked, his hands moving to Matthew’s nipples, teasing them with light touches.

The honey blond's eyes enlarged as he remembered that his brother was also in the house. His voice had echoed back to him as he moaned into Ivan's touch, and he shut his mouth, trying to stifle his mewls, so that his brother wouldn't hear.

Ivan noticed the other tense for a moment and quiet down “You don’t have to worry about Alfred. Though if you would like he could join us, I’m sure he’d enjoy it” Ivan giggled a bit as his mouth latched on to a nipple awaiting a response.

Matthew's lips parted slightly, a few moans escaping as the other placed his lips on one of the nubs on his chest. "H-he…doesn't feel well…" he hoped that the other could see how ill Alfred was right now, and that he needed to heal.

Ivan blew cool air on the wet nub “You’re right, I’m sure he would enjoy it but we’ll invite him other time, when he’s a bit healthier” Ivan said switching to the other nipple leisurely. 

As Ivan chilled his saliva with his cool breaths, the bud stiffened from the stimulation. Matthew's mewls spread up from his throat as his face stung, the hot blush uncontrollable. His toes curled against the soles of his feet from the sudden change between warmth and chill over his chest.

Ivan moved back to his neck as one of his now free hands traveled to the firm, leaking cock that had so far gone ignored as he sped up again, his intent changing from teasing the other to bringing them both to completion.

Matthew's back arched as chills caressed up his spine. The blades of his scrawny shoulders pushed back against each other as his lavender eyes glossed over with pleasure. "Ivan!" He repeatedly called the man's name as he begged for his release.

Ivan nipped him gently in encouragement, not planning on stopping the other from climaxing as his thrusts started to lose rhythm, his own climax looming.

Matthew moaned as he came, spilling himself into Ivan's hand. He panted as his arched exposed body straightened, falling against the floor.

Ivan came one…two thrusts later inside Matthew. The Russian connected their lips in a breathless, messy kiss as they enjoyed the little post-coital afterglow. “You can go clean up if you want to, I’m going to get back to dinner” he said, smiling down at the flushed blond.

Matthew nodded, holding onto Ivan's arm for support as he stood, legs shaking. His wavy hair fell back into place, framing the pale, supple face with its ruddy cheeks. His eyes were still half lidded as he looked up at Ivan passionately, cuddling up against the other for a moment, loving the warmth and the strength of his form. His features were spellbound with bliss at the feel of fabric touching the soft skin.

Ivan steadied the trembling form, smiling at him before kissing him gently “I love you” he said, his arm holding the other close, happy that he had regained some of the closeness and intimacy that they had before.

Matthew's lavender irises dilated at the soft kiss he received from the other and the way that Ivan held him. He hesitantly rediscovered the three scattered words that he had given to the man before "I…love you…too." He felt something growing inside of him, something smoldering slowly at his core, melting away the chilling animosity that he believed resided within him towards the other. "Will you…carry me?" Matthew asked.

“Of course” he chuckled indulgingly. He tucked himself back into his pants and zipped them up before leaning down “Put your arms around my neck…” once he had Ivan bent down a bit further, grabbing the other’s scattered clothes, scooped Matthew up into his arms and carried him upstairs to the master bedroom; only setting him down when he got to the bathroom. He went ahead and started the water, taking a moment to run his hand through the other’s slightly mussed hair affectionately before speaking again “If you need anything just call, I’ll be in the kitchen with Alik” he said before kissing the other’s forehead and heading downstairs.

Matthew gave a slight grin after Ivan had left the room, his ears tinting with red as he sat in the tub, the steam from the hot bath misting the bathroom in a thin haze. He laid back in the tub and let the water soak his hair, flowing strands of the tresses meandering over the surface. His ears dipped into the water and he closed his eyes listening to his peaceful breaths. Perhaps this was not so bad. Perhaps Ivan did want what was best for them. He had treated them relatively well and been kind to them. Maybe…maybe the Russian was protecting them. Matthew found it a bit easier to depend on the other to take care of him. He didn't have to worry about being hurt or mistreated, as long as he obliged the other. He didn't have to be concerned about how he would pay for tuition next year. And the other did love him. He had protected him when he was in trouble, healed his injuries. The honey blond suddenly felt an inkling of guilt in regards to the Russian. After washing himself and finishing his bath, he got out and dried off, pulling on the long shirt that the other left for him. He went back downstairs to the kitchen and sat down at the table.

By the time Matthew had returned to the kitchen Ivan was just taking the dish out of the oven. “Perfect timing, it’s done. Can you help me set the table?” Ivan asked grabbing plates and serving them before setting the plates on the table.  
Alfred looked hungrily at the fresh dish, mustering the strength stab the chicken with his fork but unable to cut it.  
Ivan glanced at Alfred struggling a bit and used the knife he was using to cut Alfred’s chicken into more manageable pieces, receiving a soft thank you in return as they all started to eat.

Matthew cut into the chicken hungrily, mouth nearly dripping at the food. It had been a day since his last meal. He tore into the food, eating piece after piece of the savory light meat and earning himself a little belly when he'd finished. "Thank you" he said softly to the other before drinking down the milk in his glass.

“You’re welcome; if you would like more, there’s plenty, help yourself.” Ivan smiled as he drank from his own glass of milk, taking part in the tradition Matthew seemed so fond of.

The other had begun to nod off, head drooping and lavender eyes drawing shut. His head snapped up as the other spoke, "I'm sorry…I'm sleepy" he said, covering his mouth as he yawned quietly.

Ivan saw both of them in a similar state and laughed a bit at the adorable sight. “Alright you two should sleep. Matvei could you help Alik up the stairs?” he asked and, upon getting an affirmative answer, continued. “Thank you. You two can pick any bed out of the three up there, including mine” he said with a smile “I’ll clean up here.” Ivan finished his drink, grabbed the empty glasses, and set them by the sink as he started to put away the food.

Matthew pulled Alfred's chair out and encircled an arm around his waist, slowly lifting his form. His soft smile faded at his brother's weariness, remembering for a moment how Alfred had been the one to help him up the stairs after Matthew had broken his leg. 'I got you, Mattie' The strong blond had said, smiling at the other as he lifted him and carried him to his room, looking after him until his leg had fully healed. "I got you, Alfie" Matthew whispered to his brother, lifting the other and slowly carrying him up the stairs. "Where do you want to sleep tonight?"

Alfred leaned his head against Matthew’s and smiled, the memory wasn’t particularly happy but he was happy to remember it. At the question he opened his eyes “He’ll want us in bed with him. He’ll be happier in the morning if we do” he explained. He had lived long enough with Ivan to know quirks in his speech and character. Matthew acted as a crutch as they headed that way, Alfred trying to get back the muscle tone he lost from lack of movement by trying to walk a bit but he couldn’t put much weight on his feet yet.

Matthew nodded, helping the other along. He frowned as he saw Alfred's weariness and for the first time really saw the damage that had been to his skin, hair, and eyes from lack of proper sunlight and nutrients. "I can talk to him" he offered, referring to getting Alfred healthy again "ask him to let you outside for a few hours every day…so you can get better." He thought for a moment before speaking again as they arrived to Ivan's bedroom. Matthew peeled back the covers and lifted his brother into the bed before climbing in himself. He shook his head "I didn't know that was what you meant by punishment earlier…he was really rough with me" he whispered, "he only stopped when I did what he asked." He stopped for a moment, looking at his brother. "Did he force you, Al? Is…is that why…?" he rubbed his brother's lifeless hair, staring into the faded blue eyes.

Alfred frowned at the other, the image of Ivan raping his baby brother made him furious but he couldn’t do anything about it and that just made him angrier. “He changes it” Alfred said softly, brows furrowed “it’s basically whatever he knows you won’t enjoy or something he wasn’t sure you’d like but didn’t want to try it just in case…” Alfred sighed in response to the other question “At first it was far from it, if he was ever rough it was mutual and…I enjoyed it” he said, looking away in the last part, unable to meet Matthew’s eyes. He had always had rougher tastes but it was strange talking about it like this to his innocent little brother. “If you go with what he says though, he sees you are learning” Alfred said with a role of his eyes “and he will lighten up with whatever he was doing.”

Matthew's eyes watered at the other's frightening answer. The fact that the Russian could be so manipulative was a harrowing thought to the blond. And a doubt clouded his mind that…maybe it wasn't love? Maybe it was just the other showing his dominance over the younger man? He thought back to what Ivan had said, a shudder running through him 'You did so well…' as if he was teaching a pet a new trick. Matthew huddled closer to his elder brother, whimpering softly at the memory. He closed his eyes and laid his head on Alfred's shoulder. "I don't want that…" he whispered as his hot tears slipped down his face "I…I thought he loved me…"

Alfred sighed and tried to comfort the other “Maybe he does…in his own twisted way…” Alfred yawned a bit “after all…he did bring us together again. He could have kept me down there but he didn’t.” Alfred yawned again “Goodnight Mattie” he said softly “we’ll get out one day…” he finished before falling asleep.  
Ivan put everything away and washed the dishes before heading up to his room to shower.

Matthew wiped his face as he lay beside Alfred. He was right about Ivan letting them see each other. He seemed to be bearing with this, though the other probably would still try to leave if he could. Matthew's head lay against his brother's shoulder, a protective arm cast over the other's back. "Good night, Al" he whispered and tried to sleep.

Ivan made it to his room and smiled as he saw the little blond angels in his bed “Goodnight” he said softly. He grabbed a clean pair of boxers and got in the shower, taking a quick relaxing one before getting in bed behind Matthew.  
Ivan soon fell asleep, happy with the result of the day’s events.

As Matthew drifted between sleep and wake, he felt the bed press down beside him as Ivan shifted his weight onto the sheet covered mattress. He felt himself drift away from consciousness, into a tranquil darkness that encompassed his mind and stilled his form. He surrendered his senses as the heat left his body gradually and his heart slowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	12. Chapter 12

He woke early and untangled his arms from Matthew’s form and went to start his morning routine, finishing in a few minutes before going downstairs to start breakfast.

Matthew blinked as he felt the Russian's presence leave the bed. The honey blond stretched softly as he yawned, eyes opening against the morning light. He looked beside him to see that Alfred was still asleep, but he didn't bother the other, knowing his brother was still tired and needed his rest. Matthew took a shower and washed his hair, changing into a white to shirt of Ivan's and a fresh pair of grey boxers. He saw that Alfred was still asleep and went over to the bed, waking him gently with a light pat on his shoulder "Alfie, it's morning…"

Alfred groaned a bit and blinked blearily up at Matthew “Mattie? G’Morning” he said with a smile, still not used to seeing the other. “Where’s Ivan?” he asked preferring to know at all times.

"He's downstairs, making breakfast" Matthew responded "do you need help getting down?"

Alfred nodded “The stairs especially but…” Alfred trailed off and moved his legs to hang off the side and tried to stand on his own before falling back to the bed. Alfred made a frustrated sound “Yeah I need help… But just make sure that I don’t fall” he said firmly.

His younger brother caught him as he fell "I won't let you fall" Matthew promised his brother, a bit of sadness in his tone from the other's frustration at being so weak. He knew that Alfred had always favored being the hero and being able to take care of others, but now that he was the victim he hated that. Matthew steadied him with a hand at his back and the other beneath his legs, supporting Alfred's weight. He lifted him off of the bed and gently lowered his feet to the floor. He kept his hand at his back as they walked out of the room and down the hall. He found the slightest of anger for the Russian for making his brother this way. But maybe Matthew could nurse him back to health with his plan "Alfred, I'll talk to Ivan about letting you get to go outside, okay?"

Alfred’s face was twisted; breath rough from the pain of trying to use muscles that were not really there anymore, even just a couple of feet from the bed to the door. They stopped for a moment before the stairs, Alfred catching his breath “Alright but if he says no, don’t argue it. I think he’s trying to do that anyway” he said; each breath coming quickly “he took me to the sun room yesterday so he should say it’s alright…”

"Okay" Matthew nodded. He gathered his strength, keeping one hand at his brother's back and the other under his legs, picking him up, groaning softly at the weight. He carried him slowly down each step, stopping at the hallway for a moment before walking to the kitchen, where Ivan was cooking. Matthew helped Alfred into a chair and then sat down beside him "Ivan, can I ask you something?"

Ivan was finishing up the toast, the eggs already done and out on plates ”Good morning” Ivan said cheerfully turning around and seeing both boys, pleasantly surprised to see Alfred down here. “Of course, what is it?” he asked, eyes running over Alfred’s pained and panting form worriedly but he said nothing, he knew that the other didn’t want to be pitied.

Matthew returned his smile "Good morning." He then wore a concerned look, "Ivan, I think that if Alfred went outside every day and got direct exposure to sunlight, he would get healthy a lot faster. I could go out with him, too." He felt his mouth water at the delicious smells steaming up from the plate in front of him and from the pan on the stove "Do you think it is a good idea?"

“As long as I’m out there with you both I don’t see a problem” Ivan said, setting the plates on the table and sitting with them. He wanted to trust them but Matthew was still new and may try to run and Alfred was in this state because he had tried to leave in the first place.

The honey blond furrowed his brow slightly at the response. He'd said he would be with Alfred, and knew his brother was in no condition to even think about trying to leave. Matthew opened his mouth as if to say something more, but closed it again when he remembered what his brother had told him. It was not worth it to argue only to lose the argument ultimately. As he turned around, he realized he'd forgotten to show gratitude to the Russian, and turned back to face him, "Thank you" he said quickly, and then turned back to Alfred.

Ivan smiled and started to eat “We can go outside after eating if you two would like.”

Matthew nodded and then looked at Alfred "Al, do you want to?"

Alfred glanced at Ivan, reading him for a moment before responding “I would like to” he said as he started to eat, having a much easier time with the eggs than with the dinner they had the night before.

Matthew looked between the two for a moment and then picked up his fork, eating the scrambled eggs on his plate. He ate slowly, savoring the delicious breakfast but also watching Ivan and Alfred. There were certainly a lot of things that remained obscure about their relationship.

They ate in peace and comfort and once they were done Ivan picked up the dishes “You can go out if you would like, I’ll meet you out there in a few minutes” he said as he washed the glasses.

"Okay" Matthew replied. He picked Alfred up and helped him out of the kitchen and down the hall. In the living room was there were French doors leading out onto the wide veranda and Ivan's vast backyard. It looked similar to something one might find in a story book. The lawn was a lush green and well-trimmed and edged. There were tall bushes at the back of the yard, where the woods were, their leaves blossoming with large, beautiful, bright red roses. There was a natural waterfall between the bushes that flowed into a small stone fountain, autumn leaves floating on the surface of the water. A few birds landed in the trees, mostly little doves and sparrows and sang for a moment before flying away. The land, since it all belonged to Ivan, was not fenced off, but instead was an open field. There was a bench near the front of the lawn, right in the path of the sun which shined warmly on the lawn. "It's beautiful…" Matthew said as he looked around in awe. He walked down the porch steps and set Alfred on the bench before sitting down himself. "There you go, Alfie" he smiled softly, wondering why he hadn't asked sooner to come outside.

“Thanks” Alfred said closing his eyes for a moment as he bathed in the warmth, the house itself was kept fairly cool and he had always preferred the heat over anything else. He opened his eyes again and looked around enjoying the beautiful sights around them.

"You're welcome," Matthew smiled at his brother. "I didn't even know about this yard" he told the other, staring out at the clear blue sky, the heat from the sun warming his skin.

“It’s a lot better now than it is in the winter” Alfred said, finding it much easier to talk now, though his throat wasn’t in the best shape and his lips were still cracked with general malnourishment.  
They sat outside in comfortable silence for a few more minutes until Ivan finished up and joined them outside, pleased that neither of them had tried anything. He sat in the chair opposite the bench and looked out at his backyard; it had been quite some time since he allowed himself to sit outside and just relax.

Matthew stood up and walked back inside to the kitchen, fetching Alfred a glass of ice water for his throat. He came back out, handing his brother the glass and then sitting back down beside him. He turned to Ivan, "You've never showed me your land before. It's very beautiful" he said to the other, letting his feet touch the grass.

Alfred looked at Matthew in mild surprise as he took the glass “Thank you” he said, wondering a bit how the other knew as he hadn’t said anything.  
Ivan glanced at Matthew, happy that the other was falling so naturally in the role of taking care of Alfred and the compliment of his yard. “Thank you, I rarely sit out here myself unfortunately but it is very nice.”

Matthew got off of the bench and laid down in the grass, looking up at the clouds. He smiled, reminded of the summer days he and Alfred had spent outside, often getting sunburned because they stayed out playing for so long. Their mother would bring them a tray of triangular sandwiches and two glasses of lemonade. 'Mon dieus must be hungry, no? Here, my loves.' She would kiss both of their heads before walking back inside. He still felt her kiss, and heard soft footsteps in the grass. He could have sworn that he heard the door close as well. Matthew's happy and peaceful expression became fraught with concern. He knew that his mother must be so sick with worry at this point. Though his father had not kept in contact with either of them, his mother had called every day when he'd first left, filling his account with money, making sure his needs were taken care of as much as she could on a single salary. He wanted more than anything to let her know that he was okay. He sat up and looked at the other "Ivan, can I call my mother?"

Ivan’s mind was taken off of the peace of the land as he turned his attention to Matthew “What would you say to her? You told me before that it wouldn’t bother you to leave them.”

"I just miss her. I just want to let her know that I'm okay" he said to the other.

“Alright… I’ll trust you not to say anything unfortunate to her” Ivan warned “prove to me that my trust is founded.”

Matthew's throat spiked with fear at the other's dark tone. "Okay…" he replied quietly and stood up "can I have my phone?"

“Look in the third left-hand drawer of my desk in the study room where my computer is. It will be in there.”

Matthew thanked him and walked back into the house. He made his way down the hall and to the study, heart beating quickly at the thought of talking to his mother again, but he tried to contain himself and walk as leisurely as he could. He went into Ivan's study room and looked for the third drawer on the left where the computer was, and found it. As he opened the drawer, his heart dropped at the pulverized phone in the drawer. The screen was broken, the buttons at the bottom were mashed in as well. He tried to turn it on but only got a blank white screen striped with glitched color bars as the sound broke. He turned the phone back off, sighing as he put it back into the drawer. He walked back out to the backyard to Ivan. "My…my phone is broken" he explained to the other.

Ivan made a curious face “That’s surprising. I knew I had broken Gilbert’s phone but I don’t remember doing anything to yours. Here…” Ivan reached into his pocket and grabbed his cell “you can use mine.”

"Thank you" Matthew said, taking the phone. He looked at him for a moment before he walked in. The other seemed as if he was hiding the fact that he'd destroyed the phone so that no one would be able to contact the student. Though he shrugged it off at seeing how easily the other handed over his own phone. Dialed his mother's number, pressing the keys in the order of her phone number. Matthew tapped his fingers against his leg with anticipation as the phone rang. After a few minutes his mother picked up "Hello?"   
Hearing her voice again made him so happy. "Maman!" he smiled as he greeted her.  
"Mathieu, mon dieu, how are you! I have not heard from you, I have called so many times, mon ami! Are you alright? Do you need anything?" She sounded so happy to talk him as well, so concerned for her son.  
"I'm okay, mere." Matthew said to her softly, trying to keep his voice from breaking at the sound of her voice.  
"Mathieu, what is wrong, mon fils?" his mother could hear the slight pain in his tone.  
"N-nothing!" he lied, "it's just…so good to speak with you. I don't really get to see you that much because of the distance…" He rubbed his eye with the palm of his balled up fist as his face scrunched into a trembling frown, a few tears slipping down.  
"Don't cry, mon ami" his mother said softly, trying to comfort her son "you can visit me during the summer and we'll go to a show, yes?"  
Matthew nodded, "Yes, maman" he sniffled.  
"I will buy the tickets and you will come, and we will catch up, okay, mon ami?"  
"Okay, yes, that sounds nice" Matthew heard a phone ringing in the background of the call.  
"I have to go now, cherie. I will see you soon, Mathieu. I love you, mon ami. Aurevoir" she said sweetly.  
"I love you, too. Aurevoir" he replied before hanging up.

Ivan wasn’t too worried; he would give the other this freedom in hopes he wouldn’t abuse it. Ivan glanced at Alfred “Are you feeling any better now as opposed to earlier in the week?” he asked, genuinely hoping the other was feeling better.  
Alfred opened his eyes and looked towards Ivan “I am, but it still hurts to walk, thank you for asking though. It does help to be able to relax out here” he said in hopes of offering a positive statement.  
Ivan nodded and turned his attention to a bird that had landed surprisingly close “It is nice out here...” he said softly.

Matthew walked back outside after gathering himself, and handed Ivan his phone. "Thank you" he said softly before sitting down beside Alfred again, already seeing the effects of the other's skin soaking up the sun's rays. He smiled at him, "Feeling better?"

Alfred smiled a familiar crooked smile at his brother “Yeah and look…” he said motioning towards the bird bathing itself in the stream so close.

Matthew looked in the direction that his brother was pointing and gazed at the pretty red robin, water splashing from is feathers as it ruffled them bathing itself. "It's so cute, isn't it?" Matthew smiled at the adorable sight, the bird singing, seemingly in response. The honey blond was glad to see his brother have a bit of happiness.

The bird lingered now that they had quieted but still it eventually flew off to the trees nearby, leaving the group smiling at the peace and innocence of it.

Matthew laid his shoulder on Alfred, closing his eyes for a mid-morning nap in the serenity.

Ivan smiled at the two and stood, going back inside to work on his book, leaving the two to their own devices, confident that they wouldn’t try anything while he was working.

Matthew enjoyed the warmth of the sun on his skin. The light illuminated his and Alfred's hair as they both sat and bathed in the sunlight. "I talked to mom" Matthew said to his brother.

Alfred opened his eyes “What’d she say?” he asked, remembering how she looked before he left for New York with the goal of helping Matthew settle into college as he himself got ready to go into the army only to get wrapped into trouble with Ivan.

"She said she called a lot but I never answered. She asked if I was alright" Matthew recounted, a little sad at being unable to tell his mother about him finding Alfred. "She wants me to spend time with her in the summer."

Alfred nodded in understanding, a small piece of him happy to hear she was doing well. “I doubt Ivan would allow that, it’s best not to ask…” Alfred warned carefully “what about dad?”

"I haven't heard from him since they separated." Matthew said with a tint of anger. Their father had never really cared to be there after the divorce. The student felt a bit saddened by the other's response. "Are you sure about Ivan saying no? I mean, I won't leave or anything. I would come back—I just want to see her again—maybe meet her somewhere and then come back after a few weeks with her…" He knew what he was saying would be out of the question but a delusional piece had not yet let go of his other life. It was as if his mother was the adhesive holding all of it together "I'm sure I could work something out with him—just for a week, at least."

Alfred sighed “I can’t say I’m surprised that they actually went through with it. As for Ivan….please don’t try. He’s going to think you’re trying to leave and there’s no telling what would happen…” he saw the other getting upset and withheld the rest of what he was going to say, there was no point in upsetting him further or making him feel guilty for something he couldn’t control “Just…don’t……trust me…” He wished he could get up and leave before the other had a chance to say anything more but it was still impossible for him to stand without help for more than a couple of moments so there was no hope in trying to walk off.

Matthew sighed disappointedly at the other's words. He was still in denial. "You don't know that—maybe he'll say yes" he lifted his brother and carried him into the house.

“Matthew. I’m serious. Swear to me that you won’t” Alfred implored, a bit of fear leaking into his words as they walked along the path slowly.

Matthew held on to that bit of hope, unwilling to let go of his mother just yet, nonetheless, he promised his brother "I swear I won't ask him."

“Thank you…” Alfred said, relieved that he didn’t have to reveal why he was in this condition in the first place.

Matthew looked at his brother, whose relief was clear in his body language and his sigh. It wasn't hard for him to tell when Alfred was hiding from him; they were twins, and there were many times when one could feel the other other's emotion. Matthew stopped on the bottom step of the porch, setting his brother down beside him. He looked Alfred in his eyes, "Al…tell me what happened to you. Why can't you walk?" his voice solemn and laced with worry for the answer he would receive. "Tell me the truth; no bull about falling down the stairs or something like that. I know Ivan abused you when you were dating him. That's how you got the black eyes and the bloody noses and the bruises and the busted lips from the pictures. Lying won't work anymore—I became those signs you hid from me on the stage _just_ so I would _know_ if _anything_ was ever happening to someone else and I could _stop_ it. And now I see you're alive and it’s not too late to save you? You have to tell me what happened!" Matthew cried out softly as his voice broke.

Alfred tensed again at the determination seen in the other’s features. He looked for a weak point, something that showed that Matthew would give in without a direct answer; he found none and sighed. “Calm down…” he said quietly “…I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you thinking that anything was your fault…” he smiled weakly at his brother “you have a habit of that.” He took a calming breath and started “I was staying with Ivan to save on the cost of a hotel while you adjusted to the whole college thing, though I really just wanted to spend some more time with you before I left” he said shaking his head a bit at the memories. His smile fell a bit “Me and Ivan started dating and we were getting pretty close but I knew I was leaving so I didn’t want to become too attached…but well…you know me… Before I realized I had already kinda considered this home and I had planned on coming back once I got back but when I told Ivan I was still planning on heading to the army he…” he winced a bit at the memories “that’s when things started to go downhill but I couldn’t shake the feeling that things were going so well before that it must have been my fault and I did what I could to try to make up with him and things were better for a while and I put off the military for a bit longer. I’m in this state because I tried to visit you…” Alfred said blankly, he didn’t blame the other; he blamed himself for not seeing the unstable signs Ivan showed and heeding them in the beginning. “I told him I was going to stay with you for a couple of days and I would be back but that I needed to catch up, it had already been a few months since I had seen you and I missed you but Ivan took it as an excuse… Said that I was lying and would use that chance to run off so… He made it so I couldn’t go anywhere. Rarely fed me; chained me up in that room…” Alfred laughed a bit, the sound holding a small hint of madness as Alfred remembered and saw his memories through unblinking eyes “Wasn’t so bad at first, I was away from him at least but…lack of light…lack of food…lack of contact and sound……” there was a long pause as Alfred drifted off, only snapping out of it when Matthew touched his arm gently. Alfred reacted with a sudden jerk away and a nervous laugh to cover it up “it starts to do things to you…”

Matthew's brows furrowed with worry and fear for his brother as he saw the other's stable mental state slowly deteriorating from the period of desperation and loneliness that he had experienced. Alfred's nervous laughter sent chills up his spine, eyes widening at the tense and skittish man's form. The honey blond felt a pang of guilt in his chest. Alfred had tried to visit him. _That_ is why he was this way. "Damn it!" Matthew cried shrilly as he embraced his brother, holding him tightly. "I should have fought harder to look for you—I could have saved you! …I'm so sorry Alfie…" Matthew's face hardened with contempt for the one who held them both captive and shut away from the world. This was not a good thing. Alfred was suffering. He had lost himself in a way that Matthew began to believe could never be recovered. "I will _never_ let him hurt you again…" he promised his brother, holding him tightly.

“Mattie…it’s not your fault. You had no idea, no way to know. To you it must have looked like I had just vanished right? So don’t blame yourself” Alfred said, returning the hug for a moment before looking Matthew in the eye “just don’t say that you’re going to leave, alright? Things are good now, let’s not upset him… I don’t want the same thing happening to you…”

Matthew sighed as he pulled away from the hug and lifted his brother, helping him up the steps. But Alfred didn't realize that the other had a will not easily broken. Perhaps a bit cracked and maybe splintered but never shattered; not yet. "I just hate seeing you this way" Matthew realized then that he had to be strong for them both, and that if it ever did happen to him, he would not leave himself to rot; he would find a way to escape, and no matter how many times he was put back he would never stop fighting. But he decided it would be best to keep escape in the back of his mind for now. They walked into the house "What do you want to do now?"

“Kitchen? A drink would be great right now” Alfred said, determined to keep a bit of weight on his legs, determined to be able to walk on his own soon.

They walked around the corner and down the hall to the kitchen, Matthew allowing Alfred enough support to somewhat stand on his weight since he saw that the other was shifting his weight a bit. He sat him in a chair and went to the cabinet for a glass before filling it with water. "Here you go" he smiled partly as he held out the glass to his brother.

Alfred took the glass and thanked the other, drinking it quickly before setting it down.

"You're welcome," Matthew smiled slightly before turning away. He poured a glass of milk for himself and sat beside his brother. An inkling of determination within him to get Alfred back to himself. "I remember that time when we were little and we went to summer camp that year—remember?" Matthew laughed, "and one night we stayed up all night telling scary stories. And then Arthur Kirkland, that British kid that had a crush on you? He dared us to go out in the woods, haha, but you weren't scared."

Alfred laughed “I remember, didn’t think he was crushing on me though” he lifted a hand and ruffled the back of his head “it explains the so called reward for the challenge though. He pulled me behind one of the trees and kissed me before running off. Couldn’t look him in the eye for the rest of camp” he chuckled as he finished.

Matthew laughed, smile spreading at the other's good memory. "Yeah, I was _terrified_ out there! I sat by the same tree for about ten minutes and I kept thinking something was going to get us, talking about monsters and such and not wanting to move…" His smile lowered slightly "And you remember what you told me?" He turned to Alfred now, eyes locking with his "You smiled and said 'Mattie, if we don't keep going, how will we get out of here?' And you helped me up, and we made it out, together." Matthew held his brother's face in his hands, both on his cheeks "Don't give up on me now" he said seriously. "We were meant to find each other for a reason—not for Ivan, but for _us_ —to know it's not over because we both have each other and can make it through _anything_!" Matthew smiled gently at Alfred, still keeping his tone quiet so that the Russian would not hear "But if we don't keep going, how will we get out of here?"

Alfred looked at Matthew and sighed a bit “When did you grow up” he said a bit wistfully at the other’s determination when before he was so soft-spoken and timid, afraid to say much of anything let alone something like that. “We just need more time. I’m not giving up but I can’t do anything like this” he explained “once I get a bit better, once I’m able to walk…” he nodded not walked to say exactly what in fear that Ivan might be listening. “Or…” he spoke, barely audible, only loud enough for Matthew to hear “he keeps his gun in the closet…maybe if you can move a chair in there silently you can get it… But you can’t make /any/ noise. His office is right below it…”

Matthew nodded at his brother's words, storing the information. He was glad that the other was still in there. "We'll get you out in the sun—everyday—we can even do some training to get your strength back when he goes out on meetings. Like the one coming up this weekend?" Matthew said just below a whisper, close to Alfred's ear so that he was the only one who could hear him. When the time came, and Alfred's health was up, they would both escape, Matthew was sure of it. They would go to France and meet their mother, and start over. They just had to keep going until the summer came.

 

Alfred nodded and smiled at the other, glad that they had a plan, now they had had to bide their time.

Matthew returned the other's smile, which served as a reassurance to the honey blond. "Do you want to go upstairs now, or…?"

“Can you ask him if we can watch a movie?” he asked “I’m tired of just lying in bed all the time.”

Matthew nodded, "Okay." He patted Alfred's arm before standing and walking to the study where Ivan was working on his next book. He tapped on the door frame politely "Ivan?"

“Yes?” Ivan asked, pleased at the courtesy shown “I was just about to take a break, what do you need?”

"May we watch a movie?" Matthew asked, looking up at the other as he stood from his chair.

“Of course, feel free to. I’d love to join you too” Ivan said standing and walking over to Matthew, kissing him on the cheek lightly and heading to the entertainment room “what were you in the mood for, I’ll go ahead and get it started.”

Matthew called to Alfred, "What do you want to watch, Al?"

“Action!” he responded back.  
Ivan chuckled; his movie preference hadn’t changed. Ivan flipped through and selected one he knew was good and popped it in before going to get Alfred who was trying again to stand on his own on shaky legs. Ivan put one of his arms around Alfred’s waist and the other slung one of Alfred’s arms around his neck “I’ll be your crutch…” he said with a smile.  
Alfred put on a smile and thanked Ivan, trying his best to walk on his own but within a couple of steps he had to rely heavily on Ivan to make it the rest of the way, sitting on the couch as he caught his breath.

Matthew looked at the blank screen in the entertainment room rather than at the other two. His hand tightened into a fist by his side before his fingers loosened again. He smiled at Ivan as the two came into the room and Alfred sat down "So what movie did you choose?"

Ivan smiled as he sat on the couch next to Matthew “One of Alfred’s favourites: Captain America” he answered.

Matthew relaxed a bit, remembering how fond his brother was of super heroes. He sat back on the couch, putting his head on his brother's shoulder "That is a good one."

Ivan leaned back, rested his arm on the armrest, and settled in to watch.

Matthew noticed that as the movie went on, all of Alfred's reactions were the same as the time that they saw the movie in the theater together. He smiled, loving the other's excitement for the moment. As the credits rolled, Matthew stretched out a bit "I still find it sad that they never got their dance together." He said, pausing for a moment "I can't imagine being asleep for so long, being _locked_ away the whole world changing around you and you _not_ being able to see any of it…but I guess Shield thought that they were _protecting_ him" he placed the most minute subtlety of emphasis in his words as he stared at the screen.

“He did make it to modern day because of their efforts and was able to save many more people” Ivan said simply, not appreciating the comments. He stood and went to take the movie out.

"That's true" Matthew replied. He turned to Alfred, "What do you want to do now?"

“Doesn’t matter to me” Alfred said, yawning a bit.  
Ivan put the movie back on the shelf “How does lunch sound?”

"Okay" Matthew nodded, becoming a little more aware of what he'd said a few minutes ago. It wasn't as subtle as it sounded in his head. He swallowed hard and then stood up, helping Alfred up.

“Once you set Alfred down how about you help me with those crepes you’re so good at” he said with a smile “I should have everything here for them.”

The honey blond made a mental note to keep his mouth shut, lest he get himself into trouble. He returned the other's smile, "Okay, I'll be down in a minute"  
He took Alfred to Ivan's room, helping him into the bed "Why don't you rest until lunch is ready? You seem a little sleepy."

Alfred yawned again and thanked him “I’m not sure why I’m so tired suddenly…” he said, closing his eyes before his head even hit the pillow “call me when it’s ready” he drawled as he dozed off.

"Okay..." Matthew stared as his head flopped against the pillow, supposing that the other was pretty tired after all. He pulled the covers over his brother and gave a little hug before walking out of the room and down the hall. He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Ah, Matvei” Ivan said sitting at the table, everything set out on the counter “did Alfred go to sleep?”

"Yes" Matthew replied, "he fell asleep before he even laid his head down. I guess he was more tired than he thought…"

“Hopefully he will be able to rest for a while then” Ivan said standing “I think I have everything set out that you will need, can you show me how you made them?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	13. Chapter 13

Matthew walked over to the stove, pouring the flour, eggs, milk, and vanilla extract into the bowl. "You mix these together first…" he explained to the other, whipping up the ingredients together in a frothy mix. "And then you mix it until you get a smooth batter, like this," he showed the Russian the mingled contents in the bowl.

Ivan watched Matthew take charge, smiling a bit as the other fell into a rhythm and mixed. Ivan looked at the contents, swiped a bit on his finger, popping it into his mouth and nodding at the taste. Surprised that it wasn’t as sweet as the finished product but it was still good “Next?” he asked.

Matthew turned the dial on the stove, putting the pan underneath the flames. "You have to grease the pan before you put in the mix" he said as he poured cooking oil into the pan. As the oil settled, he then poured the mix into the pan. "You just want to make very light cakes" he explained to the other, "and wait until they're golden brown to flip them, like…see, just like that." Matthew looked up at Ivan and then back at the pan, showing the other the crepe. He then took it out and placed it on a nearby plate "Here, you try" he handed Ivan the bowl.

Ivan took it and poured some in trying to mimic what Matthew had done but it turned out to be a bit thick and when he tried to flip it, it ran off and distorted the shape but otherwise looked alright.

Matthew laughed a bit at the scene "Hee, no, no, you've put in too much flour! Here" Matthew smiled and poured more milk into the mix; he took Ivan's hand that was still holding the whisk. He moved it in small circles around the bowl, "See? If you use more milk then you can get the mix thinner"

Ivan finished mixing it in and saw how it ran off the whisk “Alright…” he said as he tried pouring it again and it did turn out better, flowing well to the edges of the pan but once again Ivan tried to flip it too early and it ran out a bit. He let it finish cooking and poured a bit more of the mix in, this time doing fairly well, he smiled and waited a bit longer to flip it, and finally did it right.

Matthew smiled at the other's progress, "That's really good! You've got it now." A little flick of batter spotted his nose as the other flipped the crepe.

Ivan chuckled “I do…” he said before leaning in and licking the bit of batter off of his nose with a quick, gentle swipe of his tongue.

Matthew blushed at the tip of the man's tongue swiping over his nose lightly. He laughed, and stood on his toes to kiss the other's nose.

Ivan smiled at the gesture and moved in for a real kiss, quick and soft before speaking “I think it’s done.”

Matthew's cheeks were brushed with a faint pink at Ivan's kiss on his lips. He stood on his toes again, returning the other's kiss. "Mm…they taste like crepes" he said playfully.

Ivan chuckled softly, breathily “Want another taste?” he teased as he moved in for a longer lasting, deeper kiss.

Matthew leaned forward as Ivan leaned in to kiss him again. The younger man slightly parted his lips for the others, lavender eyes beginning to dilate.

Ivan connected their lips lightly and took a moment to put the crepe on the plate with the others and turn the stove off before he pulled the other close and deepened the kiss.

Matthew felt the walls he had tried to build against the other come falling down again. He put his arms around the other's neck as Ivan kissed him passionately.

“Do you want to stop now and eat? Because if we continue I won’t stop until both of us cum” Ivan said with a smirk and slightly lidded eyes. The other was getting more open and friskier and it was more exciting than Ivan thought it would be.

Matthew felt his soft breaths quicken, face flushing at the other's words. "W-we can eat after…" the honey blond responded breathily. He felt his arousal stir, heating against his boxers.

Ivan set the plate further back on the counter and picked Matthew up setting him on it a foot or two away from the plate and kissed him again as his hands lowered and he found the hem of his shirt and slipped his hands under it, moving them up as the fabric bunched around his wrists.

Matthew kissed Ivan's neck, hands ruffling the other's soft frost colored hair. A phantom-esque gasp slipped from his throat as the Russian's hands trailed up his shirt. The honey blond nipped at the other's ear gently.

Ivan slipped down the other’s chest with a smile “You can be rough with me” he teased as he found an already pert nipple and began to toy with it, bringing forth the little noises that Matthew loved to hide.

Matthew gasped as the Russian stimulated one of the slightly raised nubs on his chest, his soft breaths patted the other's neck before the honey blond leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "Alfred told me that your relationship was rough…" he panted between words, "I don't want to be left out." He pressed his lips against Ivan's neck, hesitantly opening his mouth, and dragged the tip of his tongue over the other's throat slowly.

Ivan smirked a bit in the other’s neck and chuckled a bit “Alik and I played a little rough because we both enjoyed it. I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want” he kissed his neck gently “I enjoy this as well as long as it’s you.”

Matthew frowned a bit, rubbing Ivan's neck. "You said you'd been wanting to…before…" he stroked a few nails down the skin gently. He didn't want the other to get bored of him, and having seen the way that he was, it turned Matthew on, though he was embarrassed to admit it. "I'm yours…"

Ivan moved into the touch subtly encouraging the other even as he spoke “That time I was talking about your mouth…” he allowed a slight blush to cross his features. “You’re lips are even more beautiful stretched around me…”

The honey blond gazed into the other's violet eyes as his face heated up. He was a slave to the violet eyes, desiring to see the light in them when he pleased the other. He reached towards Ivan's pants "Do you…want me to…?"

“You don’t have to” Ivan whispered into his neck “it’s whatever you want” he finished, lips ghosting along the other’s skin until he found a comfortable place and he latched on, sucking and licking to darken the skin there.

Matthew panted against Ivan's neck as the other sucked on his, darkening the marks he'd made before. He planted soft messy kisses down the exposed flesh, his hand caressing the top of the other's spine. He ran his nails up and down the blades of Ivan's broad shoulders, mouth leeching the skin of his neck softly to make marks of his own.

Ivan made a small noise of encouragement at the treatment, hardening further in response as the blunt nails traveling across his back sent little impulses of pleasure down his spine.

Matthew gave a small smile as he pulled back for a moment, admiring his work. He gave a soft, pleased sigh at the glistening violet irises and the blushing face "You do like it…" he whispered, nails continuing to stroke the other's shoulders.

Ivan laughed breathily, voice taking on a husky quality “I like a little pain…but do you?” he asked biting firmly but not hard on the tendon behind Matthew’s collar bone.

Matthew gasped at the sharp sting of the other's teeth against the sinew and muscle below his throat. He panted; eyes and voice filling with lust at Ivan's rougher actions. A shaky "Yes" slipped from his mouth.

Ivan groaned in response and licked the area soothingly before biting again, lower; he didn’t want to scatter marks in such obvious places this time… Well, he did, he loved being able to see them, but he wouldn’t for Matthew’s sake.

Matthew scraped his nails down Ivan's neck a little more rough, his breaths quickening in his throat at the mark the other was leaving on his skin. He saw the Russian's hesitation at marking him further and nudged his face against his neck. "It's okay" he whispered, kissing his neck again.

“You won’t be embarrassed to hold my marks?” he asked, not wanting a repeat of the other being so skittish.

"Not anymore…" Matthew smiled at the other, lavender eyes gazing into the alluring violet gems.

Ivan returned the smile and kissed him deeply, excited at the prospect. He didn’t break the kiss until they were both breathless and then he moved to make a few light marks on Matthew’s neck, loving the honey-sweet gasps and moans it brought forth. He steadily worked his mouth down as he tugged Matthew’s boxers down a bit and dropped his own pants down.

The honey blond pulled back slightly, his hands on Ivan's face, looking into the violet eyes as he kissed the Russian's soft lips. "I am sorry about what I said earlier…I shouldn't have rushed to conclusions—I just saw Alfred hurt and the pictures and I thought…" He trailed off for a moment, filling with guilt at the thought of being so judgmental to the other. He blushed as he kissed him again and again, leaving little apologetic kisses on Ivan's cheeks and lips.

Ivan chuckled a bit “You should have asked, though to be honest not every mark and wound was affectionate but every relationship has its ups and downs and I assure you that he left his fair share on me as well” he said as his eyes glazed a bit in remembrance.

"Like this one?" Matthew said as he held up Ivan's left wrist and left a soft kiss on the scarred bite mark.

“I’m surprised you noticed, it’s faded quite a bit by now but that one worried us both for a while” he smiled and shook his head a bit.

Matthew started to see the other opening up more "There's a little dent here" Matthew said, rubbing the mark with his finger. "From when you were bitten…that's how I could tell, but…you belong to each other with those marks so…” he leaned back in towards the other, exposing his neck and shoulders to him as he moved his shirt slowly. "…Make me yours…" he whispered in Ivan's ear before nipping his neck and dragging his nails gently across the skin of his shoulders and the middle of his back.

Ivan’s brows rose “A scar lingers forever, it may shrink with time but it will always be there” he warned.

Matthew thought for a moment about that. It was true; if he let the other scar him, there was no going back. "I know" he said before kissing Ivan's neck again. It scared him a little, wondering if the other would still want him with a scarred body "Just marks then…?" he asked.

“I just don’t want you to regret it but…if you would like you are welcome to scar me” Ivan offered, tilting his head a bit.

Matthew closed his eyes for a moment, sighing very softly. He knew that it would be permanent, but it didn't matter to him if Ivan was the one to see them; no one else would. He opened his eyes, looking up at Ivan, placing his hands on his shoulders. "I…" he paused a moment to be sure of what he was saying "I want you to…I want to be yours."

Ivan searched his eyes for uncertainty and while he found a bit of hesitation it seemed Matthew was determined. He smiled “Let’s trade marks then” he said, kissing the other’s neck “Bite me…hard” he said voice deep as he placed his lips on Matthew’s shoulder.

Matthew leaned forward, the speed of his soft breaths increasing to gentle pants as his lips met Ivan's shoulder. He opened his mouth after sucking softly on the other's flesh and then biting down as hard as he could, flinching a bit as he hoped the other wasn't hurt.

Ivan groaned at the jolt of pain shot through him and in return he bit Matthew. He didn’t bite as hard as he would have otherwise but the bite was messy, increasing the chance of a scar. He licked up a bit of blood that welled up “You have to bite harder, break through the skin. Don’t worry about hurting me…I want you to.”

The younger man gasped at the sting from the other's bite, and felt a small lap of his tongue cleaning up the escaping red from the wound. He panted softly as he felt his face heating and moved in again. "Okay" he kissed the other's neck gently before biting down again, this time much harder. He tensed the slightest at the skin tearing and the blood that bubbled up in a perfect sphere over the open marks. Matthew lapped at the blood, tasting the strong metallic fluid "Like that?"

“Yes…” Ivan answered, voice breathy and broken as he pulled the other into a rough kiss tainted with the taste of their blood mixing, pulling away only when his consciousness started to cloud around the edges; he panted roughly “Can I have you now? I won’t last much longer…” The drumbeat of arousal throbbed through him, pulsing between his heated member and the fresh wound on his neck that worked together to send a morse code of need through his system.

Matthew tasted the iron on his tongue, string of red saliva split from his lips as he parted them, panting from the coarse kiss. The honey blond man nodded; his arms around Ivan's neck as he wrapped his legs around his waist.

Ivan laid a hand on Matthew’s waist and tugged the boxers off, replacing his hand on the soft skin afterward. He grabbed the oil in the back shelf and slicked his hand before putting it down and slicking his cock. He aligned himself and thrust in quickly, seating himself deeply before pulling out and repeating; steadily working into a hard, quick pace.

Matthew moaned at the other inside of him so suddenly. His nails scraped down Ivan's back as he bit into the other's neck again, sucking the skin after, and repeating as he moved lower.

Ivan tightened his grip on the other’s hips and he dropped his mouth it his neck, sucking roughly. He bit his neck, not breaking the skin but muffling a groan into the other’s skin as he was bitten back.

As their ragged breaths filled the room, the honey blond paused for a moment, upon hearing soft sobs from upstairs. He straightened, listening at the sounds and looked at Ivan. "Wait, wait—do you hear that?" He looked toward the stairs and called his brother's name, knowing that the sobs could only have belonged to him "Alfred!"

Ivan slowed to a reluctant stop as Matthew called out for Alfred, now that he wasn’t so focused on Matthew he could hear small sounds and he wondered why Matthew was focusing so much elsewhere while they were fucking but it seemed like Matthew was too worried to get back too it so, with a reluctant sigh, he pulled out with a quick kiss to his neck as Alfred answered from above.

 

A broken voice called in response to Matthew’s inquiry “Mattie! Come here!” He was horrified at what he was seeing on the TV; details of a gruesome car crash and the death of their mother rolled and twisted in his mind, making him almost physically sick.

Matthew gasped sharply at the other pulling out of him, so submerged in Alfred's sudden discomforting noises that he could not focus on being intimate with the Russian, though he was glad to see that the other was equally concerned about the crying blond upstairs and kissed him in gratitude. As Matthew heard Alfred call him upstairs, scooted to the edge of the counter top and hopped down, running to the stairs as Ivan followed closely behind, "I'm coming!" And as he reached the top of the stairs and ran down the hall, the light shown faintly from the entertainment room where they had been earlier, and Matthew discovered upon entry that its source was the television. He looked to his brother's tear stained face, hoping to calm him and comfort him with a hand rubbing his cheek gently "What is it—what's wrong?"

Alfred tried to ignore the state of the two and answered “It’s mom…she…” he coughed, the word not coming out “there was an accident…and…” the news came back on to repeat the wreck and casualties, seven deaths so far, their mother and the couple driving the truck that started the huge collision the only ones identified…  
Ivan sat of the edge of the bed, glad that he had allowed Matthew a chance to speak to her again. It was a sad sight to see the two brothers torn up about their mother but he felt disconnected, there was nothing for him to do but try to comfort them but for now they had each other.

Matthew heard his brother's broken words, staring into the light blue eyes of the other and willing him to finish. What happened? Was she hurt? Injured? Or…no, he couldn't think that way, but the news report on the television which displayed the grisly scene provided no comfort. _'We are here, on the scene of a horrible accident which has claimed the lives of seven citizens in nearly two hours ago. Authorities have identified one of the bodies as forty-five year old Marjorie Williams, who was hit by a truck on her way to work. Police have determined…'_  
As the awful news droned on, pouring out the gruesome details of the accident, Matthew blinked and sank onto the bed beside his brother in a limp state of shock. He gaped blankly at the television for a few moments before he turned away at the sight of the bloody car and marred form of tangled limbs within the crushed vehicle, clasping a hand over his mouth to stop the vomit gurgling in his throat as he gagged and then swallowed hard before he spoke at the television, as if his mother might hear him. "Maman!" He cried out in a torn voice as the tears flooded his vision and streamed down his face in a flourish of heat. He gave a broken whimper as he fell against Alfred, so heavy in his brother's open arms that enclosed him securely. His shoulders heaved as he gave hiccupped sobs between louder wails of lament at the chilling and harrowing truth that washed over him.

Tears ran down Alfred’s face freely; he didn’t even try to stop them as he held Matthew, the other cried into his chest, tears soon soaking his shirt.  
Ivan looked on for a moment sadly, the scene breaking his heart as the two broke down in front of him. He knew when he wasn’t wanted. He stood carefully, trying to move the bed as little as possible before he walked out; wanting to give them privacy. As much as it pained him he was not a part of this part of their lives and he would only make it worse if he tried to comfort them before they were done mourning. He walked back to the kitchen and redressed. He wrapped the crepe wrappers and put them in the fridge to be finished later and set to cleaning the dishes, occupying his mind from thinking too hard about what was going on upstairs.

"I just spoke to her—!" he cried out to his brother, sniffling as the tears dripped from his nose, voice heightening and breaking as he clutched Alfred's back tightly. "I _just_ talked to her!" he didn't want to accept that she was gone so quickly, having just heard her voice alive and well.

Alfred nodded, unable to speak clearly. He wished he had been able to talk to her, to tell her that he was alive or at least hear her voice one last time to say goodbye. But…there was nothing left now, no chances to talk to her again or see her; he didn’t even have pictures because he left everything at home…he had nothing but Mattie left from before Ivan ruined everything.

Matthew held onto his brother tightly, rubbing his back, trying to soothe the trembling form as well as himself. The recent discovery simply hurt like no other pain imaginable and he knew that his brother's mental healing would take even more time than that of his physical restoration. He knew it would be a lot more difficult for Alfred because the other did not have even the comfort of a fresh memory of his mother's voice like Matthew did. The younger sibling smoothed Alfred's hair, rocking them both gently as they grieved. Their weeping quieted as the hours passed and the sun fell, covering the world with darkness even as a thin sliver of the moon rose, offering merely a pale wash of light. Matthew, having cried himself to sleep, laid against his brother's chest, quiescence held his tear-stained features temporarily as his soft breathing replaced the tearful cries.

Alfred held him gently as he felt the other finally get to sleep. He knew that Matthew would have the worst of it with all the recent trouble Ivan was giving him. Matthew had always been more sensitive but with everything going on now, despite how much he had grown since last year, Alfred was still worried. He tried to push it down, push everything down; he would deal with it later when he was sure Matthew would be alright.   
Ivan had finished cleaning a while ago and had put together a small dinner for the three of them before going to check on them. He found them curled up together and asleep so he quietly shut the door with a smile and went back downstairs. He sat down to eat and finished fairly quickly before putting everything away and heading upstairs to Matthew’s room. He decided to sleep there in hopes of allowing the brothers time to rest both mentally and physically. He made a mental note to check on Matthew’s shoulder when they woke up before sleep took ahold of him.

As it was still early in the evening when both brothers had first fallen asleep, Matthew woke at a little before midnight. He cleared his nose with a quiet sniff at the congestion, from so many tears hours ago, and wiped at his eyes with his hand. He felt a dull ache as he moved his shoulder, though he was too mentally exhausted to be bothered with looking at it. He rubbed it gently, fingers trailing over the bite marks from earlier. They were not terribly deep but they were slightly swollen. Matthew wondered if he should go back to sleep or if he should stay up and find something to do. He stared in the darkness while laying on Alfred until the blue numbers on the dvd player glowed 1:00 am, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. As he raised his head from Alfred's chest and stepped down from the bed. His head throbbed suddenly, blood pressure dropping from the hasty movement with which he stood. He groaned, grasping his head before he lost his balance, his other grabbing at the nearby table for support as he hit the floor, turning the table over with him as it gave a loud thud. Matthew had shut his eyes at the sound, cringing and relaxing as it quieted again and his brother still lay resting.

 

Ivan had been drifting into and out of sleep for the last few hours when he was suddenly awoken by a loud thud from the direction of the bathroom. He got up to investigate and saw no one so he went to check his room and saw Matthew on the floor. He rushed to him and saw him in a relaxed state that had him worried “Matvei” he whispered, a hand coming to tap his cheek gently “are you alright?”

Matthew looked over at the concerned Russian, red-rimmed eyes filled with a numb presence, yet speckled with relief and an inkling of happiness at seeing the other. "I can't sleep" replied a whisper from his slightly hoarse voice, a small sniffle following after. He felt so vulnerable and so helpless, like a lost child, forgetting any recollection of animosity he had held toward Ivan. He wanted the other to hold him. He wanted to be coddled and cradled by him, knowing that the other was tangible. Knowing that Ivan was a sense of strength and protection and love, things which had he'd believed had been robbed from him with the death of his mother, were right here for him. His eyes watered as he stared up at the other, a single sign of his concealed emotions in the pleading lavender gaze. He exposed his sentiments entirely to the other.

Ivan saw Matthew’s eyes starting to water as the other looked up at him with utter desperation and need. Ivan knelt down and gathered him up in his arms carefully. He held him close, supporting his back and legs as Matthew’s head rested against his shoulder. He carried him to his own room and lay down with him, propped up with pillows “It’s alright, we’ll stay up together” he said softly, hand running through the soft, messy hair.

Matthew leaned gently into the loving touch as he cuddled against the other. His head bobbed slowly and subtly with the rise and fall of Ivan's chest, the man's palpitations rhythmic and steady against the younger's ears.

Ivan closed his eyes and started to unconsciously hum a little Russian tune from his childhood as he felt Matthew relax against him, his hand still moving slowly through his hair.

The honey blond listened to the other's gentle and foreign lullaby, his breaths stilled at the soft yet deep tone his voice held. The tune seemed to tell a story, even as Matthew had never before heard it for himself, he could hear the inklings of pain and melancholy mingled into the sweet little melody. He assumed it was a soothing lilt which the other held dear from his childhood. It served to soothe him just as well as his eyelids fell against the dusk and the stillness, his own heart beat in time with the others as a hinted smile crept over his lips.

After a little bit Ivan realized what he was doing and nearly stopped but he noticed that Matthew held the barest hint of a smile on his lips and he smiled a bit in response and continued; switching to another one as that one came to an end.

Matthew cuddled further against the other and started to recall the conversations they had before in which Ivan had brought up his two siblings. A curiosity tugged at him for a few minutes before he cautiously asked the Russian "Will you tell me more about your sisters?"

“If you would like me to” Ivan said softly. The pain had long worn off and he still had fond memories of back then; with his sisters at least. “As you know I had two, an elder and a younger and their names were Katyusha and Natalia. They were both very kind and though Natalia had a bit of a temper at times, she still loved in her own way. Katyusha enjoyed many little hobbies, especially knitting, cooking, and gardening though she wasn’t the best with plants” he said with a chuckle “Natalia was better with plants but couldn’t cook very well but together they could make the best dishes.”

Matthew gave a small smile as he looked up to see the light in the violet eyes that he was so fond of. He found himself admiring the other for being so strong through adversity, all the while never losing himself. "I'm glad to still have Alfred but…you are also my family…" he whispered as he hugged the Russian tightly "I love you."

“As are you for me” he said, kissing the other’s forehead “I love you too” he finished softly, returning the hug firmly until they both relaxed.

Somehow the younger man fell asleep in the other's arms, resting on the Russian's warm frame as he dreamed a serene blackness that calmed his senses until the sun rose again, filling the room with the light of the dawn as it ascended over the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr's http://poisonouspassion.tumblr.com feel free to pop on over and chat and as always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally a thus-far-ignored tag finds its home in this chapter~

Ivan looked down as he felt the other’s breath even out into sleep and smiled, happy that the other was finally able to get to rest. He slowly, carefully sat up and stood up before carrying him back to Alfred, feeling that it would be best for them to wake up together. He laid him down next to Alfred and smiled as they cuddled into each other familiarly and went downstairs to clean; he figured there were still a few hours before he had to start breakfast so he would occupy himself until then.

Matthew stirred from his sleep in the familiar embrace of his elder brother a few hours later. He smiled knowing that Ivan had carried him back to Alfred, and yawned softly as he stretched his muscles. "Good morning" he whispered to his brother as he raised himself and sat up. The noises downstairs told him that Ivan was awake.

Alfred blinked at the light coming into the window and said responded with a yawned “Good morning” as he rubbed the rest of the sleep from his eyes, sitting up once Matthew did. He sat for a moment memory coming back and he tensed for just a second before pushing it away as a nightmare; instead he spoke up “Think Ivan has breakfast yet?” he asked as his stomach growled quietly.

Matthew laughed gently at the other's stomach growling. He stood up and walked to the door. "Let's go and see."

Alfred nodded and swung his legs over the side and cautiously stood. He smiled triumphantly as his legs held him for a few seconds but, as he went to take a step, he started to fall; he was still unable to walk completely on his own but he was making progress. He groaned and looked back at Matthew “Gimme a hand?” he asked.

"Of course" Matthew smiled at the other, though with some sadness at seeing Alfred unable to walk completely. He was still glad to see the other progressing, and caught him by the bed, helping him up, an arm around his waist and the other guiding Alfred's hand around the younger's shoulders to help support his brother's weight as they walked along the hallway, carefully descending the stairs and making their way down the corridor to the kitchen. "Good morning, Ivan" Matthew greeted the Russian and set Alfred down at the kitchen table before sitting down himself.

“Good morning” Ivan said with a soft smile as he flipped the last of the pancakes over to finish cooking “perfect timing, I’m almost done. You can help yourselves to something to drink in the meantime.”

Matthew nodded at the other and moved to get some glasses from the cabinet. "Thank you…" His smile faded for a moment as he saw the other flipping a pancake in the skillet, a subtle shudder running through him as he turned his gaze and filled the glasses with milk. He swallowed hard, blinking rapidly trying to discard the memory of his last encounter with the breakfast and looked up at Ivan after placing the glasses on the table and sitting back down "D-did you sleep well?"

Ivan tilted his head a bit at the stutter as he brought the large plate carrying them all to the table before grabbing plates for each of them “I slept well fairly well considering I couldn’t stay asleep” he said as he forked a couple onto his own plate “how did you two sleep?”

Matthew stuck the prongs of his fork into the breaded cake before slowly raising it into his mouth and eating. He took a sip of milk before answering the other with a nod, "I slept pretty well." Matthew took another bite before looking back up at Ivan "I'm sorry I woke you."

“It is fine, I am glad you were able to get to sleep” Ivan thought for a moment before remembering the state in which he had found Matthew “why were you up or, rather, why didn’t you get up” Ivan asked, genuinely curious as to why the other had been on the floor with the table lying next to him.

Matthew chuckled slightly with recollection of his clumsiness. "I woke up at midnight and I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn't, so when I got up too quickly, I got a head rush and tried to stop myself from falling by holding the table, but I…couldn't" Matthew gave a half smile and a small shrug of his shoulder on the last word. "I was going to put something on the bite too, to take the swelling down a little because it hurt a bit" he added, rubbing his neck with his hand before eating more of the pancakes.

“Ah, I have painkillers in the bathroom if they could help” Ivan said taking another bite and swallowing “after we get done I can check it and disinfect it.”

Matthew swallowed before replying "Ah, it actually doesn't really hurt anymore…" he blushed softly at talking about it with his brother around.

Alfred said nothing as he ate, he knew what was between the two and though there were times that he wished that he could return to the closeness the he and Ivan had before, he was still wary of Ivan and worried for his brother but…especially given the new situation with their mom…Ivan was the best they had right now.  
Ivan nodded “I’m glad though I should still check it at least. How are the pancakes?” he asked the brothers.  
Alfred responded first “They’re good, thanks…” he said shortly before going back to eating

Matthew swallowed hard again at the word, eyes clouding for a moment as he looked at his plate, and then snapping back up to Ivan "Good…thank you."

Ivan’s brows furrowed a bit as his head tilted again, Matthew was acting quite strange and he couldn’t quite place why or what was wrong but he didn’t ask in case it was his way of coping with his mother’s death. He supposed things would be rather quiet, if not slightly dreary until the two were done mourning.

Matthew absently spoke aloud as he finished his breakfast, looking at the half full glass of milk on the table, the moisture running down the outside of the glass "I wonder if…she'll have a funeral…"

Ivan glanced up at the dazed man and, seeing Alfred tense but silent, spoke up “If I’m not mistaken, kin will be contacted and if they will pay for it then yes…otherwise she will get a basic burial… But…if it comes to that I do not mind paying for a proper funeral…” Ivan offered.

Matthew snapped out of his daze and looked at Ivan again, upon realizing he had been speaking aloud. "Thank you" he smiled at the other's kindness. But then he remembered that their father would probably be notified and pay for Marjorie's funeral. "I think our father will take care of it, though" Matthew looked over at his brother and saw the other's apprehension "are you okay, Al?"

Ivan nodded and directed his attention to Alfred, worried for the younger man.  
Alfred looked up, glancing at the two looking at him “I’m fine” he said a bit too forcefully to be normal. He realized this and sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, he knew that the two wouldn’t leave it at that but he didn’t want to say what was truly on his mind…at least not to Ivan. “I…will be fine. I just need to think…” he amended a bit more calmly than before.  
Ivan nodded understandingly and finished his plate and coffee, a rarity for him but he had wanted the extra caffeine.

Matthew raised a brow at his brother, tilting his head as he gave the other a knowing look as if to ask what he was hiding from them. And then he looked back to his milk, finishing the glass as he recalled Alfred's words, and knew that by needing to 'think' he meant needing to talk to Matthew. That is what he always said when he only wanted Matthew to know something.

Once they had all finished, Ivan gathered their dishes and went to clean them, not asking for help as he felt that the brothers needed to talk as he saw the look Matthew had given Alfred.  
Alfred glanced up as Ivan stood and looked at Matthew “Can you help me back to the bathroom, I want to try to take a bath” he asked honestly wanting a bath but it would also give them a chance to talk.

Matthew nodded and helped his brother up the stairs after thanking Ivan for breakfast. He ran a warm bath for the other and helped him into it after he removed his clothes. Matthew washed his own face in the mirror above the sink, drying the water on a towel before speaking to his brother, "So tell me what's wrong."

Alfred sighed and glanced at Matthew, not caring that he was naked as he picked up the soap and started washing himself. He uncharacteristically took a moment longer to gather his thoughts before speaking “I don’t think Ivan should have anything to do with mom’s funeral…” he said bluntly.

"Okay" Matthew turned back to face his brother, seeing the coldness match the tone of his voice as he spoke. He was unsure of the source of the other's hostility, though he knew that Alfred's statement was entirely grave and sincere. His brother's will when set was unwavering and his mind was unmalleable when made up "I'm sure dad will take care of it."

Alfred looked at Matthew for a moment more and nodded, relaxing a bit at the other agreeing with him as he focused more on his cleaning “I hope so…”

Matthew sighed as sat down on the bathroom floor. They both knew that their father had not been around as much as he should have been, but he was certainly not one to overlook family. The both knew that although both parents had argued, he loved their mother dearly and earnestly, and would certainly fulfill her last wishes "Don't worry about it too much. There isn't any use worrying when there is nothing we can do."

Alfred ran a wet hand through his hair and glanced back at Matthew, deciding to change the subject. He bluntly asked as his eyes traversed the bruises and bites scattered on Matthew neck and shoulders “Is Ivan treating you alright?”

Matthew looked over at him again, wondering only for a moment what the other meant before realizing the marks Ivan had left on him were exposed. He felt heating blush creep onto his cheeks as he looked back down and explained "I…me and Ivan were…I wanted him to do this."

Alfred nodded and looked forward again, away from Matthew before either of them felt awkward “That’s all I wanted to know…” he said simply. He just wanted to be sure that whatever that was going on between his brother and Ivan was mutual, he would not stand for Ivan mistreating him, Alfred snorted as he recognized the irony of that thought and finished washing his chest and arms before going to his hair.

Matthew rubbed his fingers over the marks unconsciously as Alfred washed his hair. "Do you still love him?" perhaps it was a ludicrous and obvious question but he wanted to know.

Alfred’s hands slowed to a stop as he resisted a quick no in response. He rolled the question over in his mind trying to figure it out definitively. He lowered his hands, arm resting on the side of the tube as he leaned back a bit and looked at the ceiling “I don’t know… I shouldn’t…not after everything that he has done but…I can’t bring myself to honestly say no…” He laughed a bit breathily, covering his face with the arm that hand been resting on the side “It’s pathetic actually” he laughed again and moved his hand to his hair, running it through and tugging a couple of knots free “but don’t worry, he’s yours and I won’t do anything to change that unless he really hurts you.”

Matthew certainly was not expecting that answer from Alfred. "He wants us both" he laughed, recalling how the other had suggested Alfred joining them before. "It's not pathetic; he…makes me feel—the same way—so conflicted, and not really knowing what I want or what I think of him sometimes."

Now that caught his attention. The blond looked back towards Matthew with an incredulous look “Both? I guess he wants the set…” he said cynically, not sure what to make of it. His look softened a bit though as he realized that the other did understand a bit “Yeah…he just…changes so much. He can go from sweet and the best thing in the world to making me wonder if I need to kill him or myself to escape…” Alfred finished; tone softening as he continued.

Matthew nodded at the other "Yeah, it's like…he's sweet and charming but he is sadistic and cold but—I like it and I don't? I-I don't know…it's so confusing..."

Alfred sighed “Yeah…I know all too well…but I guess we both got wrapped up in the one thing he’s good at…” Alfred said flushing a bit.

Matthew blushed at that statement. "Very good at" he nodded "do you need some help getting out?"

Alfred dunked his head in the water, quickly rinsing his hair and nodded before using the side of the tub to get in a mostly standing position before Matthew helped him up and out.

Matthew wrapped a towel around Alfred and drained the water in the tub with a swift tug of the drain plug. The soapy water swirled down the drain in a gradual quiet as Alfred dried himself off. When the other was entirely dry Matthew went to fetch Alfred some boxers and a t-shirt from Ivan's room. As he returned he handed them to Alfred.

“Thank you” Alfred said as he tugged on the clothes and tossed the damp towel on the shower curtain bar to dry.  
Ivan went upstairs to change into clean clothes and saw the two exiting the bathroom and they seemed to be in slightly higher spirits “Would you two like to go outside?” he asked.

Matthew stayed behind "I need to take a shower first and then I'll join you two." He smiled and walked back to the bathroom with clean clothes; boxers and another shirt of Ivan's. He closed the door behind him and turned on the water which sprayed from the showerhead. He closed his eyes as he washed himself, lathering his body and hair with soap and scrubbing before rinsing out the suds. Beads of flowing water trailed his form, driving the foam from his body and leading it down the drain. After changing into the fresh clothes he went downstairs and walked outside to the back yard, where Ivan and Alfred sat on the bench nearest to the porch. He squinted into the bright sunlight that warmed his skin as he sat beside them.

Ivan had carried Alfred out despite a bit of protest, knowing that Matthew wouldn’t be long and he wanted to be settled instead of waiting, plus it would give him a bit of time to relax alone with Alfred which he rarely got to do anymore. They sat in silence as they enjoyed the soft sun coming from between the clouds. It was a cloudy day but it didn’t look like it was going to rain so neither man was worried. Ivan glanced up as Matthew sat beside him “Enjoy your shower?” he asked, making light conversation.

"Yes" Matthew nodded. He laid his head on the Russian's shoulder and shut his eyes as he expelled his breath in a comfortable sigh.

Ivan smiled as the other laid on him and they both relaxed a bit as Ivan watched the birds nearby search for food.  
Alfred glanced over and saw Matthew resting on Ivan and decided to take a bit of a chance and copy the action, resting his head on Ivan’s other shoulder and closing his eyes as he took in the once familiar warmth.  
Ivan tilted his head again curiously as Alfred too leaned on him but he kept quiet as both seemed to need the rest.

Matthew cuddled against Ivan's shoulder, wrapping both arms around his before resting again, feeling a small weight shift down on Ivan's other shoulder.

Alfred didn’t want to copy every move but he did wiggle a bit closer in response to the other shifting.  
Ivan chuckled as the other two seemed to be unusually affectionate today. He smile at both of them and, seeing as Matthew had wrapped himself around that arm he brought the other one up to wrap around Alfred’s waist, resting gently on a still too boney hip.

Matthew opened his eyes as he felt the other shifting again. He frowned upon seeing where Ivan's arm had moved and moved the other arm around his own waist before whining softly for more attention.

He felt himself moved again and glanced at Matthew “Is something wrong?” he asked in response to the soft sound.

"You're not paying attention to me" Matthew responded as he looked up at Ivan with pouting lavender eyes. "You put your arm around Alfred but not me" he said like a child might pout over sharing.

Ivan chuckled again and got the feeling it was the same with Alfred which had initiated the little competition between the two brothers. “Well you had been hugging it pretty tight” he said lightly “but I am more than happy to hold you both.”

Matthew shifted closer to Ivan as the Russian's arm hugged his slender waist. He kissed Ivan's neck.

Alfred’s eyes narrowed a bit but he calmed himself down, they had talked about this, they both felt the same way, and Ivan had said he wanted them both. He maneuvered himself to sit on one of Ivan’s legs, his legs on either side, using the added height to more easily reach Ivan’s neck as he knew he wouldn’t be able to support himself. He kissed Ivan’s neck gently before starting to nip and nibble in areas he knew were sensitive.  
Ivan’s eyes widened as they both moved and he groaned at the surprise stimulation, especially at Alfred’s knee pressing lightly against his covered crotch as he was bitten gently, in promise of more.

Matthew furrowed his brows at Alfred's actions. He hadn't known that his brother would turn this into a competition though, he should have, as the other became competitive with most things. Matthew would certainly accommodate him on it as he had before. He shoved Alfred's leg away from Ivan's side with his own body, and took his place, his thighs parted on either side of the other's leg, his butt resting at the brawny knee as the other settled into a kneeling position. His hands went to Ivan's back beneath his shirt, scratching roughly up and down the neck and shoulder blades, and then scraping down the spine. Matthew then leaned his head over the side of the man's neck and trailed down his throat with messy kisses that slowly became hard bites, leaving bloody welts in the skin.

Ivan arched in response, feeling skin break as he quickly reached full hardness “Boys?” he asked, voice a breathy groan as he received a sharp bite in response “what has gotten into you two?”  
Alfred growled in response, not quite believing that demur little Mattie would be so forceful but he supposed that was the strength of Ivan’s influence. He righted himself, sat on Ivan’s other knee, and palmed him roughly through the loose cotton of the pants. He leaned in close to nibble on the outer shell of his ear whispering lowly “We want you…” he said before biting just under his ear as his free hand traveled up his shirt and ran nails down the thick chest.

Matthew bit down harder, alternating between hard teeth and soft tongue that licked the blood from the open marks along the left side of the other's neck and collar bone. He scratched his nails up and down Ivan's back, while arching against him, his knee moving up against the stiffness just beneath the cotton material.

Ivan groaned in need as the two worked him over; he was not used to either of them being so forceful and found it almost unbearably arousing. He brought his hands to each of the boxer covered erections and started stroking, trying to repay a bit of the pleasure his was receiving as they both increased their efforts.  
Alfred moaned and thrust against the hand, a chill running through him. It was been far too long since he had had sex and it was affecting him quite a bit as he leaned on Ivan more for support and bit his collar.

Matthew arched into the touch which he knew much too well, he moaned as he left more bites scattered over Ivan's neck, and quickly removed his shirt to start marking his shoulder.

Alfred was knocked off in his ministrations by Matthew pulling the shirt off but grinned at the newly revealed skin “Watch this…” he said as he slowly ran his nails down one part of Ivan’s chest, right above his heart, looking for something and once he felt Ivan’s breath hitch in his throat he bent down and sucked /hard/ on that spot, leaving a large mark.  
Ivan’s eyes fluttered shut and he bucked roughly in response, grinding into the hand and leg still pressing against him as he let out a shuddering moan as that spot was tortured. His hands tightened almost painfully hard on the two before he let go and brought one to Matthew’s back pulling him close and the other to Alfred’s hair, tugging to get him off before doing the same. His breath was rough and hurried as he tried to recover a bit of his composure “You two…will be the…death of me…” he said between pants as he rested his head on their shoulders. One he had regained himself enough to walk without his erection being too painful he stood and brought them upstairs, laying them both on the bed before stripping them both in turn and leaning in to kiss Matthew. He glared a bit at Alfred “That wasn’t nice to teach him…” he growled in reference to the sensitive spot on his chest though there was no real malice in his words but Alfred just grinned unapologetically back.

A spike of arousal shuddered through Matthew as Ivan stripped his clothes and leaned down to pull the other into a kiss. The honey blond looked up at the Russian through half-lidded lavender eyes laced with lust. His lips slightly parted to welcome the other's mouth and tongue as he lay on his back against the familiar silk of the man's bed. His small chest rose and dropped with his heartbeat as his face heated and his panting breaths filled the master bedroom.

He smirked and leaned into the kiss, enjoying the wanting look Matthew was giving before he put pressure against his lips. Ivan rested on top of him, his body hovering as he focused on the playful tongue and deepening the kiss.  
Alfred pouted in the background but palmed himself leisurely as he thought about how this was supposed to work with all three of them. He waited until the two broke away before tugging Ivan back towards him; arms wrapped around him “How is this going to work?” he asked, wondering if they would take turns, have one person give and receive, or have one person getting oral.  
Ivan thought for a moment, tossing around positions and ideas “I don’t think double penetration is the best option right now but what would you two like to do?”  
Alfred shrugged “I’m alright with anything right now” he said as he pulled the other into a deep kiss, nipping his bottom lip before soothing it with a swipe of his tongue and truly kissing him.

Matthew's breaths slowed as he looked over at Ivan and Alfred tossing around these ideas so casually. It made him bright red just remembering that his brother would be in here with him and Ivan the entire time, and he sat up, knees and legs covering his naked body "Ah, I…I'm not sure."

Ivan pulled away with a glance at Matthew who seemed to be getting self-conscious “We don’t have to do anything…” he said softly, trying to ease whatever worries the other had.

Matthew smiled sheepishly as he moved closer to the two more experienced men. "I just mean that I'll do whatever you want me to" he offered moving across the silk on his knees. "I'm not sure what I want though, since I've never shared you before, but I'm fine with anything."

Ivan kissed him lightly in relief that the other hadn’t been scared off by the prospect “We can work our way up to more if you are comfortable with it but for now how does just sucking each other off sound?”

"Okay" Matthew replied as he looked up at Ivan, confiding in the other. His eyes went from Alfred and back to Ivan. "Ah, who is…?"

“Who would you like?” he asked simply “we will go at your pace, right Alfred?” he implored as the other nodded, fluffing his hair with a quick ruffle through the short locks as he mumbled a quick “Yeah, yeah” he said, though he was happy that his brother was not too bothered by the taboo of them being brothers because they both wanted Ivan and neither was willing to back down completely.

Matthew shook his head "It doesn't matter." Just the prospect of being watched was making him aroused as he never thought of doing such things, especially with Alfred.

Ivan smiled and kissed him again, deep and slow. “Then I would love to have your lips wrapped around me” he said with a husky breath as he laid down, tugging Alfred closer “I’ll suck off Alik and he can do you, if that is alright?”

Matthew nodded, blushing harder at the roughness of the other's otherwise gentle tone.

Ivan relaxed on the bed; preferring to take the low ground to give the other two a bit more control. He helped to position Alfred’s hips above him as Alfred got into position himself and nudged Matthew forward with a playful “Come on Mattie, I’m not going to bite…” he said with a grin as he leaned forward and took a tentative lick of Matthew’s cock as Ivan did the same to his own.

Matthew gasped lightly at the soft swipe of his brother's tongue over his heated flesh. He bent low over Ivan's member, taking him into his mouth as he had before as his lips widened around the other's erection. He slowly began to bob his head over him.

Alfred smirked at the reaction and angled himself a little awkwardly to be able to take Matthew’s cock into his mouth, tongue rolling along the underside as he moaned at Ivan’s actions, back arching a bit to try to allow him better access.  
Ivan smirked around the flesh in his mouth as he got a look as the brothers’ pleasured faces, the whole idea of the act unbearably erotic. He hummed softly to draw out moans as he took Alfred deeper, causing him to repeat the actions on Matthew’s cock.

Matthew's body began to tremble with pleasure as his brother took him into his mouth. He moaned around Ivan's member, slipping against the silk as he bucked his hips and took him into his throat.

Ivan thrust shallowly, enjoying the tight pressure of Matthew’s mouth. He groaned as Matthew took him deeper, humming around his flesh as his own moans traveled through to Alfred who in turn pushed against his face with a loud, though muffled, moan of his own.  
They moved together in a thrusting ring of pleasure as they each worked towards fueling their partner’s climax as well as their own. Soon, bodies became messy with eagerness and sloppy movements as each started to feel the warmth and arousal tighten before giving away like the trigger of a gun. Alfred was the first to release, a loud moan heard as Matthew’s member fell from his mouth as he pushed against Ivan, trying to go deeper into his mouth as well as on the fingers that had found their way inside. He sucked weakly, breathily at Matthew’s cock as Ivan smirked and cleaned him off with delicate licks to the sensitive flesh. Matthew found his peak with a surprised cry as Alfred gave a particularly hard suck to the tip, shooting deep in Alfred’s mouth with some spilling out from smirking corners as the elder blond swallowed.  
Ivan shuddered at the sight of the two, arousal spiking within him. He rested a hand firmly on Matthew’s head and gave a couple of shallow thrusts, trying not to be too rough as he came within the tight heat, finishing with a weak spurt across Matthew’s cheek as he pulled out.  
Ivan chuckled and sat up, leaning up and pulling Matthew towards him and cleaned off his cheek with efficient laps of his tongue before moving into a kiss. Alfred made a little noise and Ivan pulled away and gave him an affectionate kiss as well before pulling them both close and laying back on the bed to rest.

Matthew lay between his brother and Ivan, entangled in stained sheets and vermillion silk. The blond novice's ragged breaths spilled out as muffled noises against the skin of the much larger Russian. Each man's body was laced with beads of sweat that slipped from every pore. The youngest of the three slept between the other two, whose arms encircled him. There were no longer any thoughts about what others might say concerning the marks that covered his body, or whether he was truly loved by the Russian. Both of the others had showered the youngest with what he believed was love, and his heart fluttered rapidly against his chest with the mere thought. Ivan had been gently stroking both brothers’ hair as he placed himself in the center and gathered the two blonds in his arms. "Ivan...I love you" Matthew whispered as he cuddled into the warm Russian.

“I love you too Matvei” he said softly with a soft kiss to Matthew’s cheek “and you” he said softly to Alfred when he felt the other’s grip on him tighten a bit and gave him a small kiss as well. He truly did love them both and though the feisty, perhaps childish blond would always hold a place in his heart, Matthew was the one he cared for most.  
They settled in for a bit of sleep, content to wait in each other’s arms and warmth for a bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter to celebrate my birthday~

The sunlight dwindled as the day waned, slivers of shadows silhouetting the exposed skin of each body. Although Matthew would not have minded to share the Russian with his brother, he felt that he was indeed winning the other's affections. He would wake to the sounds of the other two softly snoring, and the hushed breeze of the wind through the trees, and then he would lightly rest, rather than sleep. The third time he woke, the sun was setting. The bed shifted when he unraveled himself from the other's arms, and it creaked as he stood. He quietly walked to the bathroom and shut the door, turning on the water for a refreshing, hot shower.

Ivan shifted in response to the sounds and movement and opened an eye to see Matthew walking into the bathroom and as he settled back down and closed his eye again he heard the hiss of the shower. He pulled the other source of warmth closer and dozed off again until it was his turn for the shower.

Matthew washed his hair after cleaning his sweat slicked skin. He lowered his head under the pouring spray, flooding his senses in the tumult of hot water. As he wrung the left over water from his hair he turned off the faucet and watched for a moment as it and the soap swirled down the drain. He stepped out, dribbling droplets of water from his feet and the ends of honey blond strands. Once he had dried the water, he went to fetch a clean shirt and boxers from Ivan's drawer and slipped them on. He tapped Ivan gently "I'm finished showering if you want to."

Ivan lifted his head and smiled at Matthew “Thank you, I will” he said as he pulled himself away from Alfred, the other groaning as the loss until he pulled a pillow close and held that instead. Ivan chuckled at the sight and faced Matthew as he stood “Good morning” he said, kissing the other’s forehead.

Matthew felt a soft blush on his cheeks at the kiss that the other gave him. He smiled and stood on his toes to kiss Ivan's cheek. "Good morning" he smoothed back the snowy hair that had fallen in the Russian's face, and let his hand linger for a moment, stroking the man's soft hair.

Ivan leaned into the touch, enjoying the affection like an overly large cat. He opened his eyes again and chuckled, admiring the other in his clothes for a moment before speaking “As much as I love you in my clothes I’m sure you would prefer something that fit better” he said teasing the low, loose waistband of the boxers “would you like to order some? You can use my computer.”

Matthew's eyes shined as he nodded "Thank you." He stood again to place another grateful kiss on the Russian's cheek and then walked down the stairs to the study after leaving the room.

Ivan smiled at the excited response “You’re welcome” he said softly back as he turned and went to take his own shower. He turned it on and quickly jumped in, as it was still hot from Matthew’s shower, and started to clean himself of the earlier activities. He smirked a bit as he remembered, pleased with both of their responses. He was starting to trust them more, feeling more confident in giving them more freedom. He wasn’t too worried with Matthew who had seemed to cling to him after his mother’s death but Alfred who posed a problem before was also warming up to him. He smiled to himself as he rinsed; maybe they could really all live together happily like he had hoped in the beginning.

"Ivan, I need you" Matthew called after he heard the water shut off upstairs. He'd ordered three pairs of jeans, a few shirts, a pair of shoes, and several pairs of socks and boxers and had to use a credit card to pay. The Russian came downstairs and walked into the study. He noticed among the clothes there was also a white pea coat that the other fancied. Matthew was still young, after all, and didn't quite value necessities as much as possessions. He gave an explanation as Ivan looked at the computer screen "Is it okay if I get the coat too? I want to get something for winter." Though it was a little ways away, the youthful blond hoped that he'd be able to start going out again, maybe to the coffee shop or to a movie theatre, with Alfred and Ivan, of course. He felt that Ivan was more trusting of the two than he had been, and to be honest, at the moment, running away was the furthest from his mind right now.

Ivan rested his head on the other’s and looked at the coat and chuckled a bit “Go ahead, it will look lovely on you” he said standing for a moment before remembering “ah, do you know Alfred’s size? He should get some things as well but he’s still asleep.”

Matthew smiled "Thank you, Ivan" he nodded, "ah, yeah, I do!" He added the same basic types of clothes to the cart and then stood allowing the other to sit down to pay for them. "Thank you" He repeated genuinely, hands on the back of the chair as he placed a kiss on top of the other's head.

Ivan chuckled and kissed Matthew’s lips softly “I love when you’re affectionate” he said as he stood “I’m going to make us dinner, feel free to do what you like or you can join me and finish the crepes.” He walked out with a final smiling glance to Matthew and walked to the kitchen to get started.  
Alfred stirred in bed and opened his eyes, groaning softly when he saw how late it was he turned over and tried to go back to sleep but the stickiness of his skin would not allow it. He rolled out of bed and held the edge of the side table and bed tightly as he tried to stand. He stood on shaky legs for a moment and took a step forward, catching himself on the table. He took a tense breath in and held it as he lifted himself, forcing himself to stand mostly upright once more; determined to get to the bathroom on his own. He walked along carefully, using furniture to guide and support him but eventually he made it in and sat on the edge of the tub with a triumphant grin as he started the water.

Matthew went upstairs to check on Alfred. As he got to Ivan's room he noticed that the bed was empty and the bathroom door was closed. It took him a moment but he realized that Alfred was able to get to the bathroom on his own as he heard the water running. He knocked on the door. "I'm so glad you're getting better!" he smiled and pulled the sheets and covers off of the bed and wrapped them up to take them to the washing machine in the basement. He decided he would wait for Alfred and they could go together. He stood beside the bed and waited for his brother to finish.

Alfred was in the tub scrubbing and still grinning and it only widened when he heard Matthew “Hell yeah!” he said excitedly. He still had a long ways to go before getting back to how he was before but he was making progress and that was what mattered the most though….things were going really well now and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to leave. They were cared for here, yeah the freedom to go where he wanted when he wanted would be nice but… here they didn’t have to pay for anything, they had plenty of food, and…they had someone who cared….as twisted as it was it still comforted Alfred a bit to know that he still had someone in addition to Matthew.  
He shook himself out of his thoughts and rinsed, ducking under the water to get his head before pulling the plug to drain to let the water out. He grabbed the towel hanging and dried off what he could just sitting there before lifting himself on the edge to finish “Hey Mattie, can you get me some clothes?” he called doing another quick ruffle of his hair to dry it as the other tossed him a pair of boxers and a shirt. He tossed the towel back and put on the clothes, having a little bit of difficulty with the boxers but he got them. He walked out carefully, taking his time and using Matthew’s shoulder as a bit of a crutch to get down the stairs, sitting in one of the kitchen chairs and taking a bit of a breather.

Matthew made sure that Alfred was settled before going to Ivan and asking him to unlock the basement doors. "I wanted to start the laundry" he explained, gesturing to the wrinkled mess of sullied sheets and covers.

“Alright, thank you” he said, setting the chicken in the stove to bake. He went into the study and grabbed the right set of keys in the drawer and handed them to Matthew “Just head down this hallway until you reach the end and under the rug will be an indention; just slip your hand in and pull up and it should swing up fairly easily” Ivan said; not worried in the least as this part of the basement was in a different area than the little dark room he had. “Thank you for taking care of that, dinner will be ready soon” he said kissing Matthew on the forehead and heading back to the kitchen to sit with Alfred and wait.

Matthew kissed the other's cheek again, "You're welcome." With that he took the ring of keys and walked down the hall and down the basement steps, stopping at the last room down the hallway. The other room where he'd been before was in its own space. Matthew saw the large oriental rug and bent down. He slid his hands beneath it and felt a handle. And as quickly as he'd tugged on it, the handle gave, and swung open a small door. He found a light switch and turned it on, giving the room a dark green tint bathed in yellowish light. He walked down the few stairs and saw the washing machine and a few shelves of laundry supplies above it. He took down a jug of detergent and poured a cap full before dropping the bedding into the washing machine and starting the water. He closed the little door and watched for a moment through the tiny window as the sheets tumbled in the wash. He flicked the light back off as he walked up the steps again and shut the door behind him before walking back up the basement hallway and stairs to the kitchen. He sat down in a chair beside Alfred after setting the glasses and silverware on the dining room table.

Ivan chatted for a moment with the brothers before checking the chicken again and pulling it out with a beautiful golden skin. He set it on the stove and proceeded to cut it, using a large knife to get through the sternum and the joints. He put their preferred pieces onto plates and sat down to enjoy it.

Matthew cut into the crispy skin, slicing open the steaming meat. He cooled it with a few soft breaths before sticking a slice of it into his mouth, sighing almost inaudibly with the savory taste of the meat. "Thank you, Ivan" he smiled after swallowing and took a sip of milk.

“You’re welcome” Ivan smiled warmly at the other “I’m glad you enjoy it.” He took a bite of his own and nodded in agreement, swallowing he spoke “I’m pleased that the new spice turned out fairly well” he said, taking another bite.

"Ah, I thought I noticed a new flavor! What did you use?" Matthew asked between chewing and swallowing more of the food.

“An Italian herb mix along with rosemary which I had never used so I wasn’t sure how it would taste, but I will be using it again soon” Ivan said with a smile as he continued eating. He finished the glass of milk fairly quickly and instead of refilling it with milk he rinsed it and poured vodka, wanting something with a stronger taste.

Matthew finished his plate and drank the remainder of milk in his glass. He swallowed the gulp of milk and then turned to the Russian. "Ivan, do you think we could, ah, go out sometime? Like, maybe to the movies or something?" he asked the other cautiously, wondering whether it was still too early to ask, though a part of him didn't care.

Ivan knocked back the rest of his glass which was still mostly full and set it down with a soft _tink_ of glass hitting glass and looked over at Matthew “Perhaps…” he said vaguely “though Alfred will need to heal more of course…” Ivan finished, refilling his glass and finishing his plate.

"Ah, right" Matthew replied as he glanced at his empty glass and then back at the other. "Thank you for considering it" he remembered the laundry and asked if he could be excused.

Ivan nodded and finished his plate and gathered them to be washed. He was indeed starting to trust the both of them more but in a public setting Ivan was not able to control things and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to test the butterfly theory with them, though he would consider the possibilities until the clothes came in and Alfred was able to get around without straining himself and then he would make his decision.

Matthew stood from the table and went downstairs to put the laundry into the dryer. He set it on 70 and went back upstairs to the kitchen. "I can take that" he said to Ivan, picking up his empty plate. He looked over at Alfred "Are you okay, Al? You hardly touched your food."

“Oh! Yeah” he laughed “guess I just zoned out” he said as he finished his milk.  
Ivan thanked Matthew and glanced curiously at Alfred, it was rather odd that he wasn’t eating “Are you feeling alright?” he asked.  
“Don’t worry, I’m fine” Alfred said “I was just thinking about a movie, Shutter Island; you have it right? Can we watch it?” he asked.  
“Of course” Ivan responded “if you would like to. What about you, Matthew?”

Matthew nodded as he went over to the sink, "Yes, I like that one" He turned on the faucet and closed the drain with the plug, running some soapy dish water in the basin. He scrubbed the dishes and his glass with a sponge before rinsing and drying them. After he removed the plug from the drain he put them back in the cabinet. "Do you want us to wait for you?" Matthew said, referring to the other's plate.

“No, it’s alright. If I get hungry again, I’ll just reheat it” he said with a smile. He propped himself up, stood up and, with a little bit of Ivan’s help, walked to the living room where Ivan popped in the movie and selected the menu before waiting for Matthew to join them.

Matthew dried the water from his hands and went turned off the kitchen lights before going to the living room. He sat down beside Ivan and laid his head on the other's shoulder, shifting his legs up on the couch and tucking them under a pillow. The soft hair traced Ivan's shoulder as Matthew nestled his head against him.

Ivan smiled and leaned against his head as he started the movie. His hands wrapped around both of his boys as they cuddled close and the movie played.

Matthew had always enjoyed the film. Though he'd seen it the suspenseful parts still got to him. Specifically the scene with the protagonist and one of the patients in the lowest cells of the asylum. He jumped slightly and unconsciously clutched Ivan.

Ivan smiled at the two shifting against him, though Alfred was trying harder to hide it and doing fairly well at it but then again, it didn’t have ghosts. Matthew was just being adorable, clutching tightly onto his shirt as it played a few jumpy parts, the volume loud enough to be startling. He tightened his grip on Matthew’s waist as the movie continued.

Matthew moved closer to the other, actually taking in his scent of a mixture of vodka and Ivan's own fragrant, natural musk. It smelled like strength to the honey blond, if that was possible. "You smell so good" Matthew smiled as he cuddled closer against the other.

Ivan chuckled “Thank you” he said and pulled him closer; kissing his cheek “you do too, an almost sweet smell, I like it very much” he said with a genuine smile.

Matthew blushed as he grinned, "Thank you" he said as he snuggled him further in response to being pulled closer. He loved being in the Russian's warm embrace. As he turned his attention back to the movie he noticed the protagonist screaming in the river behind his home. Matthew sighed with a bit of sadness at this scene, as the man held his child in his arms and his wife, clearly unstable, explained calmly. He couldn't help but to feel sorry for the character, his smile fading as he looked on at the scene.

Things grew quiet as they settled in against each other again but Alfred tensed at the scene as he looked on onto the pain shown clearly on the man’s face as he looked onto his dead children as things started to spiral out of control. He kept his head mostly forward though, trying to get through the scene he relaxed as the scene ended but jumped at the gunshot before relaxing again.  
Ivan chuckled at their actions. He found the psychological aspect of the movie fascinating, especially the end, but he had never found it scary.

The ending neared as the protagonist, Andrew, recovered his memory and would be able to leave the asylum for good; though Matthew knew the ending. Andrew had resolved to die as a hero in his mind rather than live with the reality that he killed his wife. The final scene showed a shot of the light house, where lobotomies were held before going to the credits. "This is always a good movie" Matthew said with a small sniffle and a rub of his eyes.

Ivan nodded in agreement “The ending especially is wonderfully done, hopeful and yet tragic” Ivan said wistfully “though with the final shot it makes me wonder if he was truly able to go as he wished…”

"I like to think so" Matthew replied with a sad smile. "I think that his detective 'partner' knew what he was doing too." The honey blond still lay against the other.

“I think so as well, especially given the look his partner gave him when he walked off” Ivan said, glancing back at the screen as the credits rolled. He stopped the movie and ejected it. “Are you two tired?” he asked, not sure because they had all slept for quite a while after their little activities.  
Alfred shook his head “No, I just want to have a movie night. What about you?”

"I could go for a movie night. Can I make some popcorn?" Matthew suggested.

“Sounds good to me” Ivan said “the popcorn is in the third shelf in the pantry and thank you. What movie would you like to watch?” he asked the brothers.  
Alfred immediately said “Slasher!”

"That's fine" Matthew shrugged with a small giggle at his brother's excitement. He went to the pantry and got a bag of popcorn from the box. He placed the bag in the microwave and pressed the button, and the microwave hummed monotonously as the bag spun slowly on the plate, popping up with little sounds of bursting kernels. A buttery smell filled the air and drifted into the living room. As the microwave stopped and beeped Matthew took out the bag and poured its contents into a bowl from the cabinet. He poured sodas in two glasses. "Ivan, do you want vodka or soda?"

“Vodka, please” he responded as he picked a random slasher and exchanged the dvd. They all settled in again and cuddled close, Ivan thanking Matthew for the drink and taking a swallow before setting it on the table so he could hold the popcorn in the middle as the movie started.

The honey blond smiled a little smaller as he was becoming conditioned to getting kisses for good deeds. He reached up and kissed Ivan's cheek needily "You're welcome" he replied. He drank some of the soda as the movie began.

Ivan smiled at the kiss on his cheek and lightly kissed Matthew on the lips in return before taking another sip of his own drink and setting it back down to have some popcorn as Alfred dug in.

Matthew grinned softly at the kiss and snuggled closer to the other while turning his attention back to the movie. He reached over with a hesitant hand to the bowl, not wanting to be impolite by reaching across, and took a handful. He popped two or three pieces in his mouth as the carnage began in the film. He found himself thinking a bit morbidly as he looked at the clichéd massacre of vacationing, simple teens in the woods. "How much blood does the body even have? That seems excessive" he laughed slightly, gesturing to the gore gushing from a young man's severed arms.

Ivan chuckled “I think at this point in the industry, it’s become a must for these movies” he said as he grabbed a bit more and ate it; grabbing his glass again after ward and keeping it in his other hand for convenience.

"It's almost as if at this point, they want to make the most creative _deaths_ " Matthew replied, jumping at the last word as the sound boomed with an unexpected explosion.

Ivan snickered for a moment before breaking into a full laugh as the last word cracked a high note. He calmed down after a moment but still a wide grin on face.

Matthew smiled, though his face burned with embarrassment. But he liked Ivan's laugh; it was genuine. "Don't laugh!" he said, nudging against the other though he was laughing a little himself. Even Alfred was laughing a bit.

Ivan’s laugh tapered off into a chuckle as he felt the nudge “I can’t help it” he said but he nudged Alfred to get him to stop as well and they all turned to watch the movie.

The film continued with only two survivors, for the moment. The dark haired girl hid in the old cabin and looked around for a weapon or something to use as one. Her eyes widened as she screamed upon discovering the pot boiling over the fire was filled with the limbs of her friends. And then the antagonist slowly opened the door, which prompted the girl to hide. When the sociopath entered, the camera panned back to the cabin, which showed no trace of the girl. "I didn't realize he was a cannibal" Matthew said at the plot twist.

“It does seem to come out of nowhere, doesn’t it” Ivan mused “I wonder if it would have been better for them to lead into that twist or keep it dramatic.”

"Probably a flaw in the writing" Matthew said after taking another sip of soda and eating more popcorn "one of those that they forget about and resolve at the last second." The girl came out of her hiding place slowly, emerging from the shed with a shot gun. The killer slowly turned after sampling from the pot on the stove and was met with hot lead in the head and chest that smoked as the girl proceeded to bash his face in with the gun, and deliver an effective one liner. 'Chew on this, freak.' Albeit cheesy, but still effective.

Ivan smirked at the comment and agreed, this wasn’t his favorite type of movie but he still kept it around for comedy’s sake. He finished his glass and set it on the table and picked at the popcorn, eating a few pieces here and there but not really digging in.

As the film revealed the other survivor, he came from outside of the cabin. 'Darlene? Oh thank God, you're alright!' The girl dropped the gun after expelling a huge sigh of relief and ran to her friend. 'Mica!' She hugged him tightly and then turned back towards the corpse on the floor. 'C'mon, let's get outta here...' Matthew's smile faded as he saw the blood on the back of the boy's hands. 'Mica, you're...' 'What?' The boy asked, grin slipping. She showed the other his hands. 'You're bleeding. Wait but... you went to town for help... didn't you?' The girl stammered, as things were not adding up. Mica's smile faded. 'I'm sorry, Darlene. It's all wrong. You shouldn't have had to find out this way...' The girl began to panic as her friend's tone and demeanor changed. 'Mica, what the hell are you talking about?? What the fuck is going on let me go!!' The girl writhed in the other's tightened grip. Matthew became even more entranced in the story, eyes never leaving the screen as he ate more popcorn. The sounds of inhumane groaning heightened near the back room as its door rattled. After throwing the girl to the floor the boy grabbed the gun and shot her in her legs and arms, crippling her. 'We should have been together but you were always so stubborn. Had to know what was happening to the others... well, now you're going to find out.' He gestured to the bloody corpse on the floor that began to reanimate, gasping and wheezing and groaning as he salivated, staring hungrily at the girl just a few feet away. 'The story I told you at the bonfire was true. My family has a curse in which they must eat human flesh every Hallow's eve.' The boy explained that if the perfect sacrifice could be made, the curse would be lifted. The girl recalled a memory in which their faces were lit by the campfire in the darkness, and the boy told her that she was perfect before stealing a kiss. Her eyes watered as she remembered, and as she pleaded for her life, the boy touched her face lovingly with his hand and his fingers began to deteriorate. 'We haven't got much time, my love.' He said as he stepped back with sorrow and pain in his eyes and his tone. He kissed the girl's head and then left the cabin, closing the door. The last shot showed the boy slowly decomposing as he walked and then limped away. Tears slipped down his face as he heard the horrified, blood curdling screams from the cabin. And as he left the harrowing scene, the camera closed up on his peeling face that seemed to regrow the skin. The shot cut to black and the credits rolled, featuring a gritty rock song.

“I had forgotten how interesting the ending was” Ivan said as he came back to himself ‘I suppose that’s another reason I kept it…’ he finished in a thought and turned to Matthew who still seemed hypnotized “you enjoyed it I see” he said with a smile.

"I didn't see that coming!!" Matthew said excitedly "but I wish they could have been together." He nestled himself against Ivan "Glad you're not a zombie."

He chuckled in response “That would certainly be interesting” he said, wrapping his arm around the other “would you like to watch another?” he asked.

Matthew nodded as the other placed an arm around him. He found that he actually really enjoyed this genre. There was a lot more to horror than just the gore.

“It’s your turn to pick, you can grab whatever you like” Ivan prompted.

Matthew nodded and went to the shelf lined with dvds. He picked up a dvd titled 'Midnight Meat Train'. "This looks interesting" He said to Ivan. Though as they watched the film, Matthew was covering his eyes and ducking behind and clutching Ivan every few minutes. He trembled as the movie ended, holding onto Ivan.

Ivan chuckled as Matthew read the title, he knew exactly what entailed with this movie and was excited to see both of the others’ responses. He smiled as things went on and Matthew clutched him tightly. They all, even Ivan, cringed a bit in disgust when the business man started slicing off the boils and keeping them but otherwise things went well for Ivan.  
Alfred had gotten into this movie as well, relating to the hero part that the photographer played but his eyes widened as the supposed hero became the villain.  
Ivan turned toward Matthew who was, and had been for a while, trembling at his side “Are you alright?”

"Ah y-yeah! I'm okay" Matthew said as he looked at the Russian. "That was pretty disturbing" he added "did you like it, Alfred?"

Ivan nodded as Alfred picked up the conversation.  
“I didn’t see the ending coming, I thought for sure he would try to fight and get back to her but…” Alfred trailed off with a laugh “but I guess that’s what makes it a horror right?”

"Yeah" Matthew agreed, picking up the empty bowl and glasses. "Do you want more vodka?" he asked Ivan.

Ivan smiled “I would and thank you” he answered “I have an idea for one you two may enjoy; though it is old it is actually very good. It’s in Russian but it has subtitles if you don’t mind reading.”  
Alfred shrugged “As long as it’s good.”

"Okay" Matthew agreed, taking the dishes to the kitchen and washing them quickly. He filled the Russian's glass with more vodka and dried the other dishes before putting them away.

When Matthew returned Ivan took the glass with a thank you and kissed him again and pressed play for the movie.  
Alfred pouted as he noticed Matthew getting all of the affection. He cuddled closer and wrapped his arm around Ivan’s waist causing Ivan to face Alfred and tilt his head curiously before smirking.  
“Jealousy does not suit you” he teased lightly, kissing the other softly as the actual movie started, playing a title that read ‘Viy’.

Matthew smiled subtly to himself as he overheard the other and realized how close he actually was to Ivan. Though he watched the screen as the film began with an ominous blue toned scene set in the woods, a carriage rode up the path.

The movie continued, getting more intense and more supernatural, perhaps all the more so with the dark and dreary atmosphere. All three were wrapped up into it as things built up and then, the revealing of the twist that tied together the beginning with the fantastic ending that left the group with pleased faces and shaken nerves.  
“Time for bed?” Ivan asked, finishing his glass.

Matthew nodded, pulling closer to Ivan. "Carry me?" he asked, holding out his arms to the other. He loved being the object of the Russian's affections.

Ivan chuckled and turned off the tv, not bothering with the dvd or the glass for the moment, they could be taken care of in the morning. He pulled them closer, surprising Alfred a bit, and said “Hold on…” the only warning before he stood, both boys in his arms and against his waist and walked towards the stairs and up to the bedroom.

Matthew found himself drifting off in the other's arms as Ivan carried both brothers up the steps and gently laid them in his bed, neatly made from the fresh bedding the honey blond had washed earlier. "Good night, Ivan... good night, Alfie" he said in a sleepy voice as he lay against the pillows and drew the covers up to himself.

Ivan smiled and kissed him goodnight before doing the same for Alfred, getting a mumbled goodnight in return from him as well. He lay down between them, pulled them close, and settled in for sleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	16. Chapter 16

Several Months Later

Matthew buttoned his coat, preparing for when Ivan returned from his meeting. His phone call to the other had been successful as he was finally able to convince the Russian to let them have a day out. He still mulled it over in his mind, and although the conversation seemed like hours the way he recalled it could have been no more than a few seconds of persuading "Alfred, what movie do you want to see? Ivan said we can each choose something that we want to do today."

Alfred finished dressing as well, bundling up a bit more than Matthew thanks to his low tolerance to the cold "I don't know what's playing, you decide, just make sure it's good!" he laughed as he ushered the other out the door, too eager to wait. This was going to be his first time away from the house in about two years and he just couldn't hold in his excitement.

Matthew stepped outside, anxiously waiting with his brother in the chill. A few minutes passed before they saw a familiar black car pulling up in the drive way.

It didn’t take long for Alfred to regret his enthusiasm a bit but by that time they saw Ivan pulling up and there would be no point in going back inside.  
Ivan drove up to the brothers with a smile “Have you two decided on what you wanted to do?”

Matthew walked over and opened the back door. "I was telling Alfred that we could go to the movie theater first and then dinner after?" he explained as he got into the car before his brother joined him.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea” Ivan said as he started the return trip, heading back to the city. They drove for a little over an hour and arrived at a large theatre. Ivan parked and they got out before walking to the ticket desk. The other two waited and tried to figure out what movie before calling it out and letting Ivan pay for the tickets. They walked in and bought little snacks while Ivan got Alfred a large bag of popcorn and they all got drinks before heading into the movie they were seeing. Just as they settled down and the lights dimmed, the title Stoker flashed across the screen.

Matthew settled into his seat and wondered why someone, namely a mother, would tell her child something as monstrous and callous as desiring to see the world tear her daughter apart? He became intrigued by this statement and more engaged in the film.

The movie became more subtly intriguing as you see the uncle take a strange interest in the daughter despite the obvious closeness he showed to the mother. But as the movie went on they learned that it was not so much an erotic interest but a morbid interest that surrounds the girl who appears to rapidly degrade into more and more violent actions.

Matthew cringed at the gruesome scenes, grabbing Ivan's arm at the shocking parts. Even surprisingly tame and subtle scenes had him on the edge of his seat for never knowing when the characters might snap and do something on a whim.

Ivan smiled a bit at the other clutching his suit tightly, happy that he was able to enjoy being out with them without worrying too much about them being in public. Alfred too had a tight grip on him, fingers clenched tight around his pants leg. A part of him wondered what the sight looked like to an outsider and part of him was happy to flaunt his relationship and closeness despite what society would say behind closed doors.

They sat for an hour and a half until the film ended with an unexpected and grisly twist. As the credits rolled and the lights dimmed on, Matthew stood up and walked out into the aisle, down the slanted path to the exit door after telling Ivan that he had to go to the bathroom. The honey blond washed his hands as a stall door opened and a young man walked towards the sink. He pressed down on the empty soap dispenser that Matthew had tried to use and the honey blond moved from the sink, showing him the dispenser next to it that he had used. "This one's full" he smiled politely at the other who returned his smile before washing his hands.  
"Thank you."  
Matthew noticed a glimpse of hazel eyes before the boy turned back to the mirror.  
After a moment he turned off the sink and dried his hands, turning to Matthew "Hey…"  
The blond paused and looked back from the door.  
"Don't I know you from somewhere? Do you go to school around here?" the young man asked. He looked to be about Matthew's age and sported a hint of a New York accent. The blond stared for a moment, trying to remember if _he_ had seen the other somewhere "Ah, I used to…" Matthew answered carefully.  
It took the other a few minutes before he recalled, "Matthew, right?" he said, eyes lighting up at the name. He smiled as he looked at the blond, remembering. "Matthew Williams! You were in 'Rosewood Lane' a while ago, yes?"  
"Ah…yes…" Matthew nodded slowly.  
"That was phenomenal…" the dark haired man stated, amazed to have the other standing in front of him.  
"Thank you" Matthew blushed at the compliment.  
"Do you remember me?" the other asked before laughing and shaking his head a bit, "haha, of course you don't… I-I went to your show and I was going to introduce myself but—I couldn't find you anywhere."  
Matthew gave an uneasy laugh at the other's nervous smile.  
"Yeah…had flowers and everything…" the other trailed off for a moment, seemingly in an unseen world before snapping his head back to Matthew's and gazing at the other. "Oh, but um—where have you been? I haven't seen you at school at all…you haven't been in the theatre either—Are you okay? Something going at home? Look, I-I know you don't really know me but I can try to help" the man said earnestly, laying a hand gently on Matthew's wrist.  
The blond thought Ivan and Alfred must be getting worried by now. "Ah, I just don't go to Julliard anymore" he said, opening the door.  
"Ah wait!" the other said, catching his wrist and shutting the door. "I can help you, Matthew, I really can—we can talk over dinner if you'd like" he tried to persuade him.  
Matthew gave a small smile "Thank you, really, but I really have to go."

Ivan and Alfred were waiting not far from the bathroom when they heard the creak of the door but saw it quickly shut again. Ivan tilted his head, curious as to the cause. He pulled his interlocking fingers away from Alfred with a quiet “I’ll be right back” and walked over, slowly opening the door and seeing Matthew getting pulled back by a strange man about Matthew’s age, perhaps Alfred’s but definitely younger than Ivan. He walked in and shut the door behind him “Matthew? Is there a problem?”

The hazel eyed stranger looked up at the tall man tensely. He let go of Matthew's wrist and stepped away from the other, immediately intimidated by the imposing stature and daunting foreign accent  
Matthew glanced from Ivan to the other and back to Ivan, seeing that the Russian gave a familiar, skeptical look. "Ah, Ivan, this is…"  
The man said his name quietly as if filling in a blank "Jamey."  
"Ah, Jamey, and he was at my performance for my last day." For a quick moment Matthew experienced the nostalgia of being outside. It occurred to him for the first time that evening that he wasn't bound by walls and doors. If he wanted to leave he could. And he didn't have to worry about Alfred having to limp around anymore—the other could walk again. A surge of courage and adrenaline ran through him for a second, though he couldn't physically act with Ivan right there. As Jamey and Ivan shook hands, Matthew continued. "And this is Ivan. He's the one who _helped me_ with the role" Matthew said, placing an inkling of emphasis on those two words as he locked eyes with Jamey before looking back and Ivan and smiling innocently. "We're out spending time together" he hoped the dark haired student got the message.

Ivan smirked as he saw the student back off, fear tinting his actions “And you did wonderfully with it” he said, a smile smoothing out the sharper edges of his features. “Have you decided on the restaurant you wanted to go to?”

"Ah, it doesn't matter to me" Matthew shrugged, eyes shifting back to Jamey for a moment to see any sign of understanding. He thought that he saw a glimpse of something but he couldn't have been sure. Maybe he couldn't rely on the student… Maybe he would have to take matters into his own hands. "I just hope it somewhere with good _help_." Matthew said faintly with the slightest stress on the last word. He looked one last time to the other before being led to the door. "Bye, Jamey. Nice of you to _help_ with the soap."

Ivan chuckled, catching on “Of course, good help always improves a proper romantic setting. Come, Love” Ivan said as he laid his arm across Matthew’s shoulders and ushered him out to join with Alfred.  
“Dude, what took ya?” he said, starving despite the popcorn and sweets he had eaten.

Jamey looked distraught, the hurt in his eyes clear from Ivan's words. He stared at the door as it shut, stealing the handsome blond from his view again.  
Matthew swallowed hard before looking at his brother and attempting a smile. "Ran into a…friend" Matthew said with a small nervous laugh as he realized that Ivan was wise to his little message.

Alfred frowned in response, not quite catching on but even he could tell that _something_ was wrong but instead of asking he just softly said “Oh…ok…”  
Ivan kept his grip on Matthew firm and smiled “Come, Alfred what are you in the mood for?” he asked as they walked out, Ivan getting his keys ready and unlocking it, firmly encouraging Matthew to get in the front seat where he could be watched.  
Alfred got into the back “What would you like Ivan? You know the area and what places are best right?” he asked, knowing that when in doubt, give the other man control.  
Ivan gave it a little thought, wondering the best place for them to eat that would have a semi-secluded area and booths to keep Matthew in his place “There is a nice Chinese restaurant I know that has excellent food” he said with a cheerful tone. ‘It’s is also nice, dimly lit, and not too traveled’ he thought.

Matthew looked straight ahead with a noiseless sigh, knowing his chances to escape were eluding him. He scolded himself for not being more subtle. He should have taken into account the fact that Ivan paid attention to everything in any situation. He was very intelligent. 'Should've known he'd figure it out…' Matthew thought to himself. He was quiet for the entire ride to the restaurant.

Ivan drove; head forward. The car was silent and slightly tense as Ivan reflected. He would keep true to the promise of their little date but he would not allow Matthew to slide by just when he had shown trust for his little love. He was, to put it shortly, disappointed in the young man. After everything and the love Ivan had shown…Matthew would try to leave at the first chance? Ivan sighed softly as a sad look graced his features; he glanced at Matthew for a moment and shook his head before righting his gaze once more. They arrived a few minutes later, parking a reasonable distance away from other cars and got out to open Matthew’s door for him. As they walked, Ivan took Alfred’s hand and laced it with his own, giving the other an affectionate perhaps even thankful look.

Matthew looked at the other two, wondering if Alfred had really lost himself so much. Didn't he remember what it was like to be outside? Or did he just want to stay with Ivan now? Matthew still cared for the other but…it was so tediously repetitive. Every day was the same formula, the same routine—Breakfast, movies, dinner, bed. Breakfast, movies, dinner, bed. Every single day. He wanted something more. Wanted to control his own fate. It was nice to have someone to care for him and love him, but he wanted to be able to go out when he wanted to. He was growing tired of being the caged bird. As they came inside the restaurant and were seated, Ivan arranged it so that he was on the inside of the booth.

They received the menus and ordered their drinks and the waiter vanished with a promise to return shortly. Ivan smiled and nodded for his dismissal and turned his gaze to Matthew “Matthew, please explain why you were trying to go with the little brunet boy you met in the bathroom. Explain why that, as soon as we go out, you try to leave me, leave us, your family…” Ivan asked, truly wanting answers, his tone matching the darkened, saddened look across his features.

Matthew looked down at the table, unable to say anything as his eyes glanced up at Ivan and then back at his menu. He honestly couldn't find any words to answer the other.

Ivan stared at him for a moment then sighed again, disappointed that the other couldn’t even explain himself “You will have to earn my trust again, just as Alfred did but…” Ivan leaned in for a soft kiss on his cheek “I still love you…”  
The waiter returned with their preferred drinks a pulled out a notebook to take their orders. Ivan glanced at the menu to reaffirm and spoke up “Fried pork dumplings, lo mien, and a tray of assorted sushi, thank you” he said and handed over his menu.  
Alfred ordered teriyaki chicken, fried rice, and a burger and did the same.

Matthew ordered rice, "And a glass of ice water, please" he waited until the waitress left to respond to Ivan again. "I love you too—I do, but…I just…" He didn't have the heart to tell him as he looked into the violet eyes. After a few moments he spoke again. "I'm sorry" he said just above a whisper.

Ivan looked over at Matthew as he spoke and nodded “I will give you freedom but you have to earn it.” He unbuttoned the suit-jacket he was wearing, leaving him in the cream-colored shirt. He tugged the collar to the side “Remember this?” he asked, gesturing to the rather obvious scar present on his skin “I am yours as much as you are mine.”

Matthew began pouring out the truth for fear of otherwise suffering the punishment Alfred had at the hands of the other. "I wasn't even going with him—he knew who I was, but I didn't know him at all!" his voice unconsciously rose as he spoke. "He knew my name and that I went to Julliard—I told him I had to go but he pulled me back! And I just don't want to be inside all of the time—I don't have a say in anything!" he started to get a little emotional and others around were staring.

“You need have only said something. I am content with being at home that is part of the reason I chose to be a writer but if you wanted to go out more then I would allow it. But, Love, that explanation doesn’t cover why you asked for help as if you were terrified and hated the time we had spent together today” Ivan finished, a little hurt, though also a bit worried with some of the looks they were getting in the slightly closer tables.

"I'm sorry" Matthew paused for a moment and let those familiar words remain suspended in the air. "I remembered what it was like to just be in control." He paused again, wondering if what he was saying was plausible, especially with his brother saying nothing. Maybe he was wrong…"I'm sorry" he repeated tenderly through watery lavender eyes. He was starting to resent those words and being the one who always had to use them. Maybe he didn't know what he wanted. Maybe Ivan did know what was best for him, and was doing him a favor by keeping the unstable blond inside, protected, loved. The honey blond really wasn't quite sure what to think anymore, though he knew for certain he was falling apart at the seams.

Ivan smiled softly “Thank you and I’m sorry that I was smothering you. I know that you’re not a child but I feel the need to protect you” he said and kissed the edge of Matthew’s mouth, unsure if the other actually wanted a kiss.  
The waiter returned with a large tray holding their plates, set them carefully on the table, and walked away to see to other tables.  
Alfred grabbed his plate and started eating; hoping that having a full mouth would give him a better reason not to contribute to what the other two were talking about. He was at a loss though; part of him could of course see that Matthew wanted the independence of his old life but…what they had with Ivan was pretty good….even if it wasn’t a healthy relationship by far. They were taken care of and cared for even if Ivan had some serious issues for whatever reason, he still seemed to care enough to keep them around. And after two years of being with the large man…in the same routine…it was hard to imagine anything else.

Matthew hugged Ivan tightly and returned his kiss with a kiss on his lips "I'm sorry" that was all he could really say right now.

Ivan added a bit of pressure, reciprocating the kiss and returning the hug “You don’t need to apologize just please, talk to me if something is bothering you, you can tell me anything and I will always love you.” He pulled away with another small kiss to his lips and forehead and returned to his food, feeling a bit better about the little dove; he would not clip the feathers on his wings but he would keep a closer eye on his actions.

Matthew went back to his plate as the other did the same, dousing the rice with pork in soy sauce before digging in. He took a sip of water before speaking again. He shook his head, "I don't know what I'm thinking sometimes" the honey blond sighed softly and then finished up his plate.

Ivan tilted his head a bit and swallowed, looking over towards Matthew “What are you thinking?”

Matthew looked up at the other. He definitely didn't want to say that he wanted to leave, and he honestly wasn't sure himself "I feel insecure sometimes…"

Ivan set his fork down “Why are you insecure?” he asked, a bit worried.

Matthew opened his mouth as if to say something before closing it again. "I don't know, I just…" He shook his head as he looked at the other with pure confusion on his features "I don't know."

Ivan looked at the other a bit sadly, wishing he could clarify and comfort the other “I’m sorry but…I’m here if you find that you are able to say.” He went back to his food and finished it while rolling things over in his head; the dish disappearing before Ivan even noticed.  
Alfred had been finished for a while and was observing the other two, he had been doing a lot more of that over the last few months, though it certainly didn’t help that things were rather monotonous. He had noticed that things had changed a bit though he couldn’t quite place what…he would have to try to talk to Matthew later.

Matthew drank down the rest of his water and crunched on the ice left in the glass while the others finished their food. "I miss my mother sometimes" he said to Ivan after mulling over saying that aloud in his mind a few times.

“…” Ivan hesitated before speaking, unsure of what would be the best course to take “…Would seeing her grave help ease the pain?” he asked, unsure if he was over stepping boundaries. He knew that from time-to-time he felt the need to return to his home and visit his sisters.

Matthew thought for a while about that. Even though Ivan was trying to help, it didn't seem very likely that they would be able to go to France and find the grave or the cemetery, for that matter. He sighed, "No. I'll get over it" he said simply. He tried so hard not to be so weak and so unstable, but here he was again. 'Pull yourself together' he kept telling himself, feeling more and more like he should be committed.

“I could help locate it if you don’t know where it is. You would simply have to show that you were kin and they would tell you where she was buried.” Ivan offered, wondering if that was the reason or if the other truly didn’t want to go.

Matthew just shook his head. "No, I'll be fine…I'm fine" he reassured the other.

“I’m sorry love; I wish I could be of help. Is there anything you would like to do while we’re out?” he asked, any possible punishment long forgotten in hopes of soothing the other.

Matthew gave a small smile as he shook his head "I just want to sleep."

Ivan nodded and when the waiter came by again to check on them he asked for a check. He returned a couple of minutes later with their bill and the fortune cookies but they went ignored by the dreary group. Ivan paid and put down some extra money as a tip to the quiet but courteous waiter and they all left, Matthew in the middle flanked by two worried men as they walked to the car and got in. The drive was silent.

Matthew laid his head against the window and closed his eyes in the midst of the silence. The frost chilled the air as the car cruised down the road, back toward the woods and away from the city. Knowing he wouldn't sleep, Matthew rested his eyes as he attempted to gather his thoughts in the silence.

Ivan drove along and took little short cuts here and there to shorten the drive but not much time could be cut as it was pretty much a straight shot from the edge of the city to the woods where he lived but he was still about to trim about ten or twenty minutes off and eventually they arrived. He drove up the driveway and parked “We’re here” he said softly, waiting for the other to move so that he knew he was awake.

Matthew opened his eyes and sat up, mouth open in a soft yawn before opened the door and stepped out of the car. Soon they were walking the pathway up to the door. "I just want to sleep, please" Matthew repeated as he laid his head on Ivan.

“I’ll carry you then” Ivan said with a small smile and bent down to cradle him in his arms “Alfred, can you get the doors, thank you” he said as the other unlocked and pushed open the front door.  
Alfred scooted past and went up the stairs to get the bedroom door and waited for the other two before opening it. He wondered what was wrong with his brother, he had seemed fine earlier, happy even, but now…

Matthew curled up in Ivan's arms, huddled up against the warmth as the other carried him up the steps to the master bedroom.

Ivan held him close until he laid him carefully on the bed, kissing his forehead “I’ll run a bath for you when you wake if you would like” he asked while Alfred stood next to the bed waiting for his chance.

Matthew nodded with a soft little sound in agreement before drawing his knees up to his chest and cuddling one arm under the pillow, pulling it closer to himself.

Ivan gently brushed his hair out of his face and walked away to grab a pair of boxers and got in the shower.  
Once he heard water running for a moment Alfred sat on the edge of the bed, facing Matthew’s back “If there’s something up you can talk to me” he said simply, leaning back on the remaining pillows against the headboard.

Matthew turned on his other side "I'm just tired, Alfred" he whispered to his brother. "I just need to go to sleep…" he knew the blond might not understand what he meant.

Alfred looked over at him a bit worried, wondering if it had been the same kind of ‘sleep’ he had wished for at one point but…even if that was the case… “Alright” he smiled “I’ll join you” he said and curled up next to Matthew. He thought about the times when they were little and one of them had a nightmare or heard their parents fighting and they would crawl in bed next to the other for comfort “Goodnight” he said and closed his eyes.

Matthew sighed, wondering if the other had caught on. He knew that Alfred may have understood but was trying to maintain strength for both of them. He laid his head against the blond's shoulder and shut his eyes "Goodnight, Alfie."

Alfred leaned his head against Matthew’s and hoped that he was wrong but with that sigh…well, no matter what he would walk hand-in-hand with him and try to keep the last bit of their family together. It took a while but eventually he did doze off.  
Ivan finished up in the shower and dried off; walking out to discover that his little loves had fallen asleep. For fear of waking them he went to the guest room and went to sleep there, hoping that in the morning Matthew would be feeling better.


	17. Chapter 17

Matthew woke up around twelve and went into the bathroom. He locked the door and went fumbling around in the medicine cabinet. He noisily knocked things off of the shelves as he searched for sleeping pills that he knew Ivan had somewhere. As he found a large bottle in the very back of the bottom shelf he smiled, shut the mirror door and unlocked the door, stepping out of the room and down the hall until he got down the stairs. He made his way to the kitchen.

Ivan woke from the strange racket coming from the bathroom. He got up, concerned for the noise and went to investigate and found bottles and things scattered across the floor. He popped into his room and saw that Matthew had gotten up and went downstairs to greet him “Couldn’t sleep?” he asked as it was still fairly early in the night.

Matthew looked up at him with a small smile on his lips and a handful of blue pills, a glass of water in the other "I'll be able to sleep now."

“Matvei” Ivan said a little cautiously as he walked forward “those are very strong…you only need one or two” he said, scooping most of them out of his hand and putting them back in the bottle.

"No" Matthew shook his head, grabbing the bottle, "No, I need more so I can sleep, I need more than that" he stepped back a few inches.

“Matthew, please, give it to me. I don’t want you to get sick” he said softly but his tone was firm as he took a small step forward, thanking the fact that there was only one entrance to the kitchen.

Matthew's hand trembled as he shook his head again, stepping back until his back touched the corner of a wall. "No," he insisted, "you don't understand." He clutched the bottle "I won't be sick if I'm asleep" he smiled sadly as his eyes watered.

Ivan stared; complete realization crossing his features before getting replaced with horror. He rushed forward before Matthew could move another inch and knocked both the open bottle and the glass of water to the floor and lifted him in a tight hug “Please don’t do this! Don’t leave me!” he said, composure breaking under the thought of losing the one he cared for most and under something he couldn’t control.

Matthew screamed as the pills scattered over the floor, the glass shattering as it hit the tile. "No!!" he cried, shaking and trying to reach the fallen pills that were just out of grasp. "What did you _do_! No, no, no…you don't understand…I have to sleep…" He murmured as the other held him, tears slipping down his face as he looked up at Ivan with glassy lavender eyes "have to sleep…" He broke down in the other's arms, repeating, "I have to get to sleep…please!! I'm so tired!!!"

Ivan held him tight, not allowing the other to fight and break away “You’re trying to kill yourself” he borderline yelled, terrified at the prospect of losing him “if you do this you Won’t. Wake. Up!” He had to get the other to understand. He lifted him higher and carried him to the kitchen table, not even wincing when he felt a piece of glass pierce his foot, it could be dealt with later, and set him down on the edge of the table “Please, why are you doing this?”

Matthew looked into the horrified violet eyes innocently; entirely unaware of what he was really attempting to do. "I just want to get to sleep" a few tears slipped down his cheeks.

“Then listen to me” he said trying to soften his tone “only take two and I promise when you wake we can make breakfast. Alright?” he asked, trying to calm the tears “or would you like to go out for breakfast?”

Matthew managed a nod and a soft whimper as his shoulders shook with little sobs. He held on to the other, and after a moment he looked around at the pills and the shards of glass that littered the floor, realizing what had happened. He saw the blood leaking from Ivan's foot and gasped, holding him tightly "I'm sorry…I'm sorry." It seemed as if he always hurt the other, whether indirectly or directly, with actions or words, in his mind, he was damaging their relationship with his imbalance "I'm sorry…"

Ivan pulled him close as a small smile crossed his features “I was afraid I was going to lose you” he held him tight and rested his head on Matthew’s shoulder as he felt a small wave of relief come over him. He didn’t notice until he saw a couple of tears fall on Matthew’s shirt that he had started to cry. He quickly wiped his eyes and cleared his voice “Please don’t leave me…” he said timidly, he couldn’t stand to lose those he loved again.

Matthew clutched his back and tightened his grip around the other as much as his arms would allow "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

He kissed him on the neck before pulling away a bit and kissing him firmly on the lips “I love you my dear Matvei” he said softly “let’s go to bed alright?” he asked.

Matthew kissed Ivan's warm lips softly and laid against him, surrendering for the night "Okay."

“Thank you” he responded softly and lifted the other, walking back out and trying not to put too much pressure on his heel. They found a slightly scared Alfred waiting by the steps.  
“I heard yelling and things breaking…is everything alright?” he asked cautiously, worried more for Matthew’s safety than Ivan’s.  
Ivan gave him a soft, slightly weary smile reminiscent of the one Matthew had donned earlier “It will be” he replied cryptically. He shifted a bit to better support Matthew and was reminded via a sharp pain about the glass in his foot. He leaned against the door frame and lifted his foot a bit “I could use your help getting this out if you don’t mind.”  
Alfred’s eyes widened a bit at the surprisingly large piece of glass logged in his foot. He nodded and knelt down, propping the foot on his knee as he tried to pull it out carefully. It took a bit of time to ease it out but when he did it revealed an inch long piece and a rather large gash that started pooling fresh blood. Alfred looked up a bit worried but Ivan brushed it off.  
“Thank you” he said with a small smile once the piece was finally out “Could you please take care of the glass in the kitchen? Thank you and be careful” he finished as he started to walk up the stairs and into the master room to lay with Matthew.

The little tired blond curled up against the other man tightly, his head tucked against Ivan's chest as he closed his eyes.  
Jamey sat in his room, laying back on his bed. All he could think about was Matthew, all he ever really thought of was being with the young man and loving him and taking care of him. He sighed as he recalled the honey blond's tall Russian suitor. Tons of things ran through his mind: Was he really who he said he was? Did he hurt Matthew? Were they really together? Was the blond trying to tell him something? He shook it off, shaking his head and scoffing at himself. "You're so pathetic" he told himself, "being jealous and making up crazy theories isn't helping anything…just accept the loss and let him go" But no…another part of him still clung to the student, still held on to the hope that maybe he could save Matthew and rescue him. "Be the hero…" He mulled it over for hours, carefully and slowly recalling every word and phrase and inflection and expression and replaying each in his head. It wasn't until about 3 or 4 in the morning that he picked up the phone. _911, state your emergency_ "I would like to report a kidnapping."

Ivan smiled and kissed the other’s head, he couldn’t completely ignore his foot “I’ll be back in a moment, stay here” he said softly and shifted his arms out from under Matthew. He walked to the bathroom to get the little first aid kit he kept there and saw where he had gotten the pills in the first place. Ivan sighed sadly. He would need to move them somewhere he could lock but for now he needed alcohol and gauze. He grabbed both and sat on the edge of the tub, pouring a bit of the disinfectant to flush the wound and clean off some of the blood. Once it had dried a bit he wrapped it carefully and put everything away before returning to Matthew’s side.

Matthew blinked blearily up at Ivan, raising an arm to trace his lips with his fingers "…Is your foot better?"

Ivan kissed his fingers gently and smiled “It is, it looks worse than it actually is, don’t worry.”

Matthew cuddled against him again and laid down to rest "Okay." After a moment of silence a soft whisper sliced through the dark "I love you."

“I love you too Matvei” his responded softly, kissing his again and closing his eyes to try to rest but he didn’t think he would be able to given the concern he felt for the other. He wondered if the best thing to do would be to allow him the freedom to choose but Ivan struggled with that, he couldn’t bear to be left alone again. The only reason he was still here is because caring for Alfred had kept him going until he met Mathew but now…Alfred didn’t need him. A sharp pain pierced his chest at the thought and if it came down to it…if Matthew couldn’t understand…Ivan knew what he would do.  
Alfred had finished cleaning up downstairs; taking care of the broken glass and disposing of the pills. He thought back to what Matthew had said earlier and the concern Ivan had spelled out on his face so noticeably and everything clicked together instantly and he almost couldn’t believe it. Out of everything they had been through, everything Alfred had been through before they had been reunited and Matthew tries to poison himself. He was confused, angry, depressed and he couldn’t understand what would push him to actually try to do that. Alfred steeled his resolve and tossed the rest of the pills away, he would need to keep a close eye on him and make sure he didn’t try anything else…if he did…Alfred didn’t know what he would do. He sighed to himself and washed away the rest of the blood he could see and returned upstairs, pleased to see the other two in bed. He climbed in behind Matthew and shut his eyes for a bit more sleep, content that if Matthew tried to move, either he or Ivan would be woken up.

Matthew slept through the night, guarded on both sides by the two that loved him most. He opened his eyes just in time to see the sunlight slip through the sheer fabric of the draped windows. He felt the bed shifting with other weight and sat up, though he was back down in a second with quite a painful head rush from his energy the night before.

 

Ivan woke with the sudden weight falling on his arm “Matvei?” he asked, voice low.

The honey blond gave a low groan and turned his face to the other "My head hurts."

Ivan lifted himself a bit and brought his hands to the other’s temples “This might help” he said as his fingers started to move in gentle little circles, trying to massage away the pain.

Matthew gave a small, thankful smile as he laid back and let the other care for him "That feels nice, Ivan."

Ivan laughed softly, breathily “I’m happy to help” he said, leaning forward and kissing the other gently.

Matthew leaned up to meet the other's lips with his own and return the kiss. He began to familiarize himself again with the sweet taste.

Ivan smiled against his lips, enjoying the peaceful intimacy of the moment, perhaps he had been wrong and Matthew would be alright. He kept rubbing for a few minutes longer, trying to ease the tension and pain away “Is it feeling better?” he asked.

"Yes" Matthew said as he gently seized another passionate kiss. His fingers stroked through the other's frost colored hair again.

Ivan deepened the kiss, hands resting on either side of his head as coaxed Matthew’s into twining with his own. He pulled away, little puffs of breath against Matthew’s lips as he smiled again “You tempt me but let’s get started on breakfast, yes?”

"Yes" Matthew nodded and smiled at the other. He gripped his shoulder as he sat up slowly, and then placed his feet on the floor.

Ivan felt the grip on his shoulder and chuckled “Would you like a ride down?”

Matthew nodded and wrapped his arms around the Russian's neck.

Ivan was overjoyed inside, happy to be getting Matthew back. He stood carefully, trying not to wake Alfred just yet and walked out and down to the kitchen. He saw that the blood too had been cleaned up and made a mental note to thank Alfred for cleaning that up as well. He set Matthew down in one of the kitchen chairs and stood again “What would you like to eat?”

Matthew swung his legs to and fro as he tilted his head slightly in thought, hands holding the edge of the chair "Ah, can I have pancakes…oh, and eggs! And bacon?" he added.

“Of course, that’s no problem at all” he chuckled at the hearty breakfast request, a good sign in his book. When Alfred had gotten depressed he had nearly completely lost his appetite. He walked over to the fridge and gathered the things he needed and got to work, figuring that by the time everything would be done Alfred would most likely be up.

Matthew smiled at Ivan "Thank you." He saw him gathering the supplies and started to stand "Do you want help?"

“If you would like to then I would love some help” he said, starting the pancakes.

Matthew stood up from the table and walked into the kitchen where Ivan was. He took some eggs from the counter top and cracked them, letting the yokes and whites seep from the shell and into the hot pan on the stove. "Alfred and I like ours scrambled" he told the other "do you eat eggs?"

“I do but I don’t have a preference, you can do them however you like” he said as he poured the first pancake.

Matthew nodded and got a fork to scramble the mixture that began to sizzle in the pan.

While things were cooking he took out plates to set everything on until they had a chance to eat. He set them on the counter, within easy reach of their burners and returned to flip the pancake. “Did you sleep well?” he asked.

"Yes" Matthew smiled. He didn't really want to remember what happened last night "Did you?"

“It took me a while to get to sleep but when I was able to I slept fairly well” he answered. He was only able to get any rest when Alfred came in and even then it was off and on.

Matthew looked down, knowing it was because of his antics that the other had had trouble getting to sleep "I'm sorry."

“I was just worried” he said with a soft smile “but I feel much better now” he said, trying to reassure the other. He leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss on the forehead.

Matthew perked up at the soft kiss and smiled "So do I" he said before placing a ceremonial kiss on the other's cheek.

Ivan smiled wide at the other, enjoying the affection “I’m happy” he said as he poured another pancake.

"Why are you happy?" Matthew asked knowingly. He nudged closer to Ivan's face, nuzzling his nose as he stood on his toes.

Ivan nuzzled back and laughed a bit “I’m relieved to have you back and what can I say” he chuckled “I’m a glutton for your attention.”

Matthew kissed his nose and cheeks, indulging the other. "I think I'm falling apart sometimes, but…" he paused to place a kiss on his chin and another on his neck "you put me back together so well…"

He set the spatulas down and wrapped his arms around his little lover “You do the same for me. That’s why I can’t bear to lose you.” He held the other for a moment longer in a tight embrace before loosening his grip and kissing him passionately.

Matthew's hands moved to Ivan's back as the other laced its fingers through his hair. He leaned into the kiss, shoulders and cheeks spotted with pink at the other's desire.

Ivan pulled away and touched their heads together, eyes still closed and relaxing in the closeness “You will never understand just how much I love you” he said softly, mostly to himself.

Matthew smiled and placed his arms around the other's neck, "Sometimes I just get tired and I miss my mother, but…I know I have to move on from the past…and live right now."

Ivan smiled sadly “It is the only way to live but that pain never quite fades completely…” he admitted “but I am able to get through it thanks to both of you” he finished softly.

"I know it will be hard but I'll try, if only for you, and for Alfred…" he hugged the other tightly.

“Thank you” he said and kissed the other again, softly before pulling away gently and tending to the food before it had a chance to burn.

"Ah, right—the eggs!" Matthew said, turning off the stove as the eggs finished cooking. He scooped them up onto the other spatula and placed a helping on each dish. He got three glasses from the cabinet and filled them with orange juice before placing them on the table "Do you have another meeting soon?"

Ivan thought for a moment “In a few days, I’m meeting with my publisher. Why?” he asked as he planted everything and started on the bacon.

"Just wondering" Matthew replied "the last one was really long. Will this one be?"

"I'm not sure, I haven't planned it to be but the last one ran long so I can't say either way."

"Ah, okay" Matthew responded a little disappointed. But he did still have Alfred to spend time with.

“I’ll try to speed it up as much as I can” Ivan said with a small smile as he plated the bacon and called Alfred down with a quick call of “Breakfast is done” as they set the table and started fixing everything on the plates. Alfred joined them a couple of minutes after they had sat down, fresh-faced and hairline slightly damp.

Matthew got up to pour himself a small glass of milk to go with his breakfast and then sat back down "For yesterday."

Ivan nodded, remembering the tradition; they had skipped it going to the restaurant. Ivan would wait seeing as he didn’t drink too much during a meal.  
Alfred however grabbed another glass and poured himself some as well, knowing he would drink all of it and more with the large breakfast they had lain out.

Matthew ate his food slowly, savoring the delicious breakfast. He took a few sips of milk and swallowed before looking out of the window at the chirping birds in the sunshine.

Ivan ate quietly, enjoying the large breakfast set out for them and the fact that they were still all together and happy again.

"The birds are so cheery this morning" Matthew observed, though he loved hearing their little songs.

“They are; would you like to go out and feed them? I have some sliced bread in the pantry that’s going to start molding soon” Ivan stated. He rarely ate sandwiches but found it useful to be well stocked so he always had bread lying around.

Matthew's eyes sparkled as he smiled, "Really? Okay!" He got up from the table and wrapped up his breakfast, placing it in the fridge. He went to the pantry and took the bag of bread to the backyard "Thank you, Ivan!"

Ivan laughed as Matthew put away his barely eaten breakfast in his enthusiasm “We’ll join you in a little bit” he said, making a note to make sure he ate later.

Matthew opened the bag and tore the slices into tiny pieces, scattering them over the lawn for the birds to enjoy. He took the rest of the bag back to the bench and sat down, watching the birds settle on the grass and pick at the pieces of bread.

Ivan and Alfred worked to finishing their meals with Alfred getting done much faster. Ivan dismissed him to join Matthew with a light smile “I’ll clean up and meet you out there.”  
Alfred thanked him with a kiss and left his dishes on the table before tossing on a pair of shoes and a light jacket and went to join Matthew who had collected a surprisingly large amount of many different types. He sat down next to him and whispered “Perks to being in the middle of the woods, huh.”

"Yeah" Matthew laughed. One of the little sparrows flew and landed on the bench beside Alfred, hopping around getting a little closer to the blond before hopping back a few steps, and then forward toward him again.

Alfred grinned and nudged him with his elbow “Try holding a piece out to him Snow White.”

Matthew giggled a bit at the nickname. "I don't want to scare him" He said as reached into the bag and took out a piece of bread. He held out his arm slowly to the little bird. The sparrow hopped over lightly, tilting its tiny head at the piece of bread in Matthew's hand. The bird opened its beak and took the piece in its mouth, dropping it onto the bench before pecking it.

“You made a new friend” he whispered teasingly, enjoying the moment and the happiness Matthew was showing.

Matthew smiled and held a finger to the little bird, who hopped onto it, latching little black feet onto Matthew gently.

Alfred’s jaw would have dropped if he hadn’t have been afraid of scaring the twitchy bird that was peering at them suspiciously. He wished he had a camera or at least that Ivan would hurry but then again, with his huge form, the creature would be frightened without a doubt. He kept as still as possible as the bird shifted and ruffled its feathers.

The little sparrow chirped a sweet tune for the two. Matthew tried to still his breaths as much as possible, not wanting any movements to scare the bird off.

Ivan finished up his own breakfast not long after Alfred left and spent a bit of time doing the dishes. Once he was done however he walked out to join them. He spotted them quickly and walked towards them but stopped while he was still several feet away, eyeing the happy blonds and the little sparrow in Matthew’s hand. He smiled and looked on, engraving the sight into his memory.

Matthew smiled at the Russian and held out his hands so the other could try to hold the baby sparrow.

Ivan inched closer trying not to startle the little bird. Once he was close enough he reached out at a snail’s pace until he was about an inch away from Matthew’s hand and to his immense enjoyment the little animal hopped on his finger and gave him a curious look before hopping into his hand for food. Upon finding none he fluttered to the ground to join the rest of the birds pecking at the remaining bread.

"How sweet!" Matthew said at the adorable scene. He moved over so Ivan could sit down.

Ivan joined Matthew and Alfred on the bench and watched the picture perfect scene “beautiful…” he said softly, a gentle smile seemingly permanent on his lips.

Matthew leaned over and kissed Ivan's cheek "Thank you" he said playfully.

Ivan returned the kiss with one of his own “Thank you for everything.”

Matthew smiled and hugged the man tightly "You're welcome" he replied.  
The three stayed outside all day and even watched the sun set over the horizon. The honey blond yawned and decided to go inside.

 

The next few days in the house were very peaceful, and Matthew's instability was dormant, until Ivan announced his leave for the tedious meeting.

Ivan had just finished putting on his coat and scarf when he address the waiting blond “I’ll try to return as soon as possible” he said with a smile as he kissed the other lightly “When I get back we can go to the café and get hot chocolate if you like.”

"Do you really have to leave?" Matthew asked, though he already knew the answer to that question. It was a review, of course he had to leave, but the young man still didn't want to be without the other. But the Russian promised to return soon. After Ivan had left, Matthew sat in the kitchen with his head down on the table. And then he remembered that Ivan would definitely be hungry when he got back. He scrambled out of his chair and into the kitchen to cook.  
A few hours later he finished a feast, having cooked a full chicken to a roasted golden brown, vegetables and rice, and homemade potato bread. He placed glasses of milk on the table and lit some candles from the guestroom. He waited with a smile at the table, knowing the other would be so happy when he returned.  
But it took much longer than Matthew had expected for Ivan to return. The candles had melted and the food was cold as the little blond tried to stay awake. When he snapped his head up he realized that Ivan was nowhere to be found and wouldn't be home soon. Matthew gave a defeated sigh before getting up from the table and walking up the stairs to the master bathroom. "I'll be in the tub, Al" he called to his brother. He went into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

The meeting had run unnaturally long and it didn’t help that thanks to the winter months it had gotten much darker, much sooner. Ivan sighed as they continued to go over the productivity of his old books and sign him up to write more and once again he wished he didn’t need to work for the lavish life he lived but reality was cruel like that sometimes.  
Finally, half an hour later, they brought paper work for him to sign and after that he was out the door and on his way home. About half-way home a strange feeling came over him but he couldn’t quite place it, it wasn’t good but it wasn’t particularly bad either but following his gut he called home, Alfred picking up “I just got done and I’m on my way home. How is everything there?” he asked.  
Alfred was lying on the couch watching tv when Ivan called “Hey, uh, I don’t think Mattie’s too happy with you staying late…he’s in the tub now but he had an awesome dinner out for ya.”  
Ivan thought for a minute if that could have been the feeling but he dismissed it “Thank you and can you keep an eye on him and let him know I’m on my way. Thank you.”  
“Alright, will do” Alfred responded “see ya soon.” He hung up and went to tell Matthew the news. He knocked a couple of times on the door “Hey Mattie, Ivan will be home soon.”

Matthew didn't answer from the unconsciousness overwhelming his senses. A bright red clouded the bath water, seeping from the erratic and unstable young man's wrists. Little red drops dripped into the water with a faint dribbling sound on the water's surface as Matthew's body lay still in the tub. All he thought beforehand was that he'd been left behind, and in his deteriorating mind, he believed that the other no longer loved him.

Alfred pressed his ear to the door and knocked again, not hearing anything he called Ivan on the home phone “He’s not answering, even if he was mad he would say something” he explained to the other “where’re the keys?”  
Ivan’s eyes widened “Bedside table middle drawer on my side and hurry” he said urgently as Alfred followed his instructions. He hung up and speeded up, not caring about the posted limits as long as he couldn’t see any cops; he Needed to be home.  
Alfred unlocked the door and dropped the key as his eyes widened nearly frozen to the spot as he took in the scene. He rushed to Matthew’s side and tapped his face and upon getting no response he grabbed the med kit and wrapped the still bleeding wrists. Once he was done he put his ear to Matthew’s chest and heard a faint beat that was only getting softer and proceeded to do chest compressions to keep Matthew’s heart pumping; thanking the training he went through several years ago.

Matthew's eyes opened slowly after receiving several cycles of compressions from Alfred, chest slowly rising and falling as his pulse began to regulate. "H-he promised…" he whispered to his brother between breaths. "Where…is he??" he asked as he sat up, looking around for the man desperately. "He promised! He promised me!!" he said, starting to get more upset.

Alfred held him firmly, trying to keep him from moving too much knowing that to have passed out and have such a weak pulse he would have had to lose a significant amount of blood “He’s on his way” he said speaking over the other’s frantic yells “he’ll be here soon, he even told me to check on you to tell you he was coming” he said, making sure to repeat that Ivan hadn’t left him.

"Why didn't he tell me?? He could have called me!! Why did he call you?! He doesn't even love you as much as he loves me!! He promised me he would be home soon!! He should have told me!!" Matthew's speaking became sporadic and loud, having no understanding of what he was saying, he just said whatever came to mind and thrashing wildly in Alfred's arms.

Alfred held him tighter and brought him to the bed, pinning him with his weight “Because I’m always on the couch and next to the phone!” he retaliated. If the situation would have been different he wouldn’t have taken the comment lightly though they all knew it was true. “How about when he gets here we ask for cell phones, at least for you so he will always be able to reach you” he offered trying to think of ways to get him to calm down and think or at least stop moving so much.

"I need him—where is he??! I _need_ him!" Matthew stressed, still trying to fight against the other though not as much. "Ivan!! Ivan!" he called shrilly. He was truly dependent on the other: for comfort, for company, for necessities, and for love, and he longed for the same response from Ivan. If what the Russian had told him was true, then they both needed each other more than anything or anyone, though this was taken to a frightening extreme by the young man.

Ivan parked his car and ran upstairs thanking whoever’s earlier absentminded actions had left it unlocked. He ran upstairs, leaving the door wide open as he called “Matvei!” he yelled, bounding up the stairs to the bedroom.

"Ivan!" Matthew cried out as heard the other's heavy footsteps not too far away from the room.

Ivan perked up when he heard his voice but was horrified when he finally reached Matthew. He slowed and knelt next to the bed, hands shaking as he started to reach toward the bloodied bandages. He pulled back last minute as if he was scared to touch him, scared he would break. This was the final straw. He weakly smiled, mind made up “I’m glad you’re alive…” he said as he teared up and went down on both knees by the bed, face buried in the red silk that he had lost all taste for.

"You—y-you said you wouldn't be long…" Matthew said sadly, stroking Ivan's hair as he lay his head on the bed. "You promised…" the honey blond whispered, as if to justify and rationalize his behavior and his actions.

Ivan just kept his eyes shut tight, smothered into the thick sheets “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he repeated, voice slurring into Russian as he spoke “I’m so sorry, I never wanted you to suffer, I never should have left you, I’m sorry” he spoke, muffled; not registering that even if he could be heard neither could understand him. He didn’t try to explain that he said he would try to come home soon, he didn’t bother saying that he had been held up, everything was pointless in the face of Matthew’s reaction.  
Alfred got off of Matthew and rested a hand on Ivan’s head, slightly startling him “I think Mattie would like it if we had the dinner he made, right Mattie?” he asked, not sure why he was the only one calm in the situation and he wondered distantly if shock had set in and this was just the calm before he broke down or if he had simply chosen to be the strong one, either way he needed to figure out how to get his, their, Matthew back.  
Ivan looked up with blood-shot eyes and didn’t bother to wipe away the tears as he gazed between Matthew and Alfred.

Matthew looked up at his brother slowly and nodded with a blank and glassy expression on his tear stained face.

Ivan stood weakly “Alright, I’ll go warm everything up and call you when it’s ready…wait here” he finished softly. He stood and kissed them both lingering a bit with both and left for the kitchen. He stopped by it, debating for only a moment before deciding that the only thing he could do now was go through with the promise; he would protect Matthew at any cost. He went to the kitchen and searched the pantries until he had found the drugs he had used on Matthew so long ago. He gripped the bottle tight and started adding the strong powder to the food and freshly poured glasses of milk. A large enough dose would slowly, painlessly knock them out and there was plenty in the hardly used bottle to help them all, easier than falling asleep. He heated everything that needed heating, mixing the drugs where he could but putting the most in the milk where he knew they would all drink and fixed the melted candles with new ones and lit them, dimming the lighting before going up to get them. He stopped by the bed and ran his hand threw Matthew’s hair “Let’s get you dressed” he said with a soft smile.  
Once he and Alfred had gotten Matthew into some decent clothing, grabbing a jacket for him because he had started shivering, his body trying to compensate for the loss. Ivan kissed Matthew softly “Things will be better after we eat and then we can all sleep” he said as he picked the younger man up carefully and carried him downstairs to the beautiful spread so that they could share their last meal.

Matthew cuddled against the warm Russian, a small, delusional smile spreading over his face as he was carried down the steps and to the kitchen table. As he looked to Ivan who graced him with a sorrowful, pained smile, the candle light and shadows flickered over his face and danced on the walls. The yellow flames wavered to and fro in the dark, as if warning the two boys. The young man immediately reached for his glass of milk as his throat had been dry from all of the screaming. He gulped it down until the glass was empty and then started on the food, and Alfred followed closely behind him. And it wasn't long before they were both shaking, eyes drooping and muscles relaxing as their vision blurred and faded to black.

Ivan joined the two in eating but waited until he started seeing symptoms in the other two before downing the milk. He stood and, ignoring the rest of the food and still burning candles cradled in their votives, he lifted the two boys and carried them upstairs, pushing through the haze that had started to come over him. He nearly collapsed before he reached the bed, limbs getting weak but he managed to lay down with the two unconscious men that had started as lovers and ended up closer than family. He held them close, an arm around each and kissed each gently, lingering against Matthew’s lips. He sighed, body relaxing against his will as he succumbed to the drug “Now we can be together and no one will be in pain…” he smiled softly and shut his eyes “I love you…” he whispered as the final strand of consciousness keeping him tied faded away.

"POLICE, OPEN UP!" an urgent voice demanded from in front of the door, followed by a pounding of a fist. There was a brief pause and then the door was rammed in, the house was immediately flooded with officers armed with guns and tazors and batons. "Go, go, go, go—take the upstairs" There were heavy, booted footsteps coming up the stairs and searching every room. Two officers came to the master bedroom, one of them gasping at the sight while the other pulled out a walky talky "You're gonna want to come see this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! I'd love to hear if a particular part caught your eye.
> 
> ~Poison


	18. Ending and Epilogue

Matthew heard the sound of his breathing slow and clear, his senses slowly returning, starting with sound. At first he could only hear his breaths, and then he heard his heart beating. After a few more minutes he could hear a slow, rhythmic and repeated beep. A few more minutes after, sight began to ebb in. His eyes fluttered open slowly, vision going from black, to gray, to white…and then color. Muted colors like the kind…in a hospital. As he slowly recovered each sense he tried to sit up but was stopped by a hand, and he realized that there were tubes in his arms and orifices. He looked up to see the hand's owner and saw a pair of familiar hazel eyes "J-Jamey…?"  
The eyes widened, followed with a wide and bright smile. "Matthew!" he leaned down. "Hey, how are you feeling? Ah, oh, right—probably best not to say anything" Jamey added "save your strength." He grabbed a glass of cold water with a straw from the bedside table and held it out to the honey blond "Do you want some water?"  
Matthew smiled softly at the gesture and shook his head. He turned and saw that Alfred and Ivan were in the beds beside his.  
"Oh" Jamey said knowingly "Doctor said they should wake up in a few hours."

True to their word, hours passed and Alfred woke, body metabolizing faster than Ivan’s. He blinked rapidly against the bright light “Whaaa?” he asked slurring a bit. He turned his head what little he could and gathered that he was in a hospital and that Matthew was awake next to him and Ivan…Ivan still wasn’t moving. “Mattie?” he asked, voice a bit awkward “what happened?”

Matthew looked over at Alfred as soon as his brother had spoken his name. "Alfie" he said in a whisper, all his vocal cords would allow right now. He smiled and held a hand out as far as he could next to the bed. Though he was unable to hug the other, holding his hand would be just fine.

Alfred smiled and reached out, no matter what had happened they were still all here. He slowly took Matthew’s hand and held it in a surprisingly firm grip for someone who had been so close to death.

Matthew tightened his grip as much as his present strength would allow. He sat up a little before Jamey patted his other arm as a way to make him stop forcing himself, and was able to look in the next bed to see an unconscious Russian.  
"Ivan? Is he…?"

Alfred looked over to the side towards Ivan, having a better vantage point than Matthew. He responded “…I’m not sure…” he said softly, a bit of fear setting in. Ivan was big and strong and seemed like literally nothing could stop him but…if anyone could, he could—Suddenly there was a gasp and choked coughing and Ivan was awake; worse for the wear but he was alive and awake. Alfred breathed a sigh of relief.

Matthew nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard Ivan waking up. A wide smile spread over his face as he saw a glimpse of semi-lidded violet eyes. "Ivan!" he yelped which followed with a cough, and Jamey quickly retrieving the water and guiding the straw to Matthew's lips to sip.

At the exclamation of his name Ivan looked over in Matthew’s direction and gave a weak, teary-eyed smile “I’m glad you two are alright” he breathed. He had gotten the dosage right after all. It was a little low on his part, he had not been anticipating living through it, and he was still feeling lightheaded and weak but they would be alright and this way Ivan would be forced to let Matthew go for the sake of his mental health. Ivan realized he had been poisoning him, twisting his affection and though he truly did love Matthew more than anything he…needed to let him go, allow him to make his own choices and…if that meant seeing his love leave…then so be it. Ivan shut his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

~~~Years Later~~~  
**Epilogue**

Matthew laughed as Alfred began slipping on the pair of socks with American flag stars and stripes patterned on them, unable to stop repeating how much he loved them. "I knew you would love them" Matthew said happily.  
Jamey eagerly handed him a little present wrapped in shiny red paper and tied with a white velvet bow and said "Open this one next, Mattie!"  
Matthew took the gift and set it down on his lap. He smiled as he started to untie the bow and tear the paper. After the wrapping had been shed, a dark red velvet box was revealed. Matthew grinned as he opened the hinge on the little box and saw that inside was a sterling silver necklace with the word 'best' inscribed on the theater mask faces pendant.  
"I have the other half" Jamey explained, lifting the silver chain from beneath his shirt to reveal a similar pendant with the word 'friends' on it.  
Matthew thanked him for the gift with a tight hug and then pulled away when his phone started beeping. "Ah, the meeting!" he said, glancing at the reminder. He pulled on a white pea coat and a scarf and was out the door. The others wished him well and told him to be safe and back soon. "I shouldn't be long!" he went out to the Mercedes, got in, and drove out of the driveway and down the snowy road.  
Matthew smiled, pleased with all of the success from the screen plays and films—and in such a short time! After college, he’d run into a director who recalled one of his other performances, and it was all uphill from there. The man had put him on the map, definitely. All of the shows and movies—the celebrities he’d been able to work with—and the parties—they were so high class! It was exciting to be able to live this way now. And to be independent and twenty five? How wonderful a feeling.  
As he neared the corner with the familiar coffee shop on his left, he held his breath, and slowly pulled into the parking lot, gripping the steering wheel. It had been a long five years—much too long without him. The therapy sessions and the pills and medicines over those winters—the longest winters and lonely Decembers—yes, lonely! Though he had many to share these times with, none of them mattered. Only one mattered; one from, it seemed, so long ago. He cut off the car and pulled from his bag a little black velvet box tied with a red ribbon. Matthew waited for a moment and drew in deep, shaky breaths before getting out of the car. Each movement, each sound, was as heightened as it was then, if not more in this moment. He felt his breath still as he opened the door and walked inside.  
A familiar Russian sat in the exact same spot from all those years ago, at the table—at their table, drinking tea with a piece of maple cake in front of him. He looked the same after all this time, which Matthew found himself thanking God for such health on the other’s behalf. And the violet eyes-those eyes—they looked up, and met lavender.

Ivan glanced up from his tea when he heard the door, looking at the door again for what felt like the hundredth time in hope and, this time, it was founded. A bright smile spread across his face and he fought with the idea of running to him, things had changed so much over the last few years but he was worried that maybe he hadn’t changed enough to be able to be with Matthew. His smiled smoothed out a bit but he still stood and went to greet the other. He stood a couple of feet away, afraid of getting too close and spoke softly, voice not holding the strong, perhaps arrogant air from before “It’s good to see you again…”

The honey blond's heart fluttered in his throat, just like the first time, and he found it hard to speak. Though he had promised himself to remain professional, the urge to hug the other overwhelmed him, but he steeled himself and did not flinch, greeting the man with a smile and extending his hand, "Likewise" he knew what he had to do, and it didn't call for emotions at the moment.

Ivan nodded in an absentminded answer to his own question, if Matthew wanted to keep everything professional then that’s what he would do. He extended his hand and gripped the other’s firmly “Would you like to sit?” he asked, letting the other lead.

"Yes, please" Matthew nodded, and followed the man to the table. After they both sat down, he pulled the little box from his coat pocket and placed it in his lap. "Now, I just want to cut to the chase" He said bluntly, a smile in his eyes though he held a serious expression. "I have a new film I'm making. And I wanted to know if you would help me write it."

Ivan tilted his head to the side a bit “it has been a while since I have done much writing, what is it about?” he asked as he thumbed and fiddled with the sleeve of the beige coat laying across his lap that replaced his old black one; a nervous tick that had developed with one of the medications he was on.

Matthew lifted the box from his lap onto the table, opened it, and slid it to Ivan. Inside the box was a golden house key, gilded with scrollwork, and Ivan's first and last name, and it was strung on a golden link chain. Matthew smiled brightly with watery eyes—that were unexpected—and said, "…The title is 'new beginnings.' I want to write it and act it…with only you."

Ivan’s eyes widened in realization “Does this mean…?” he asked cautiously. He didn’t want to hope if it would only cause pain but he couldn’t imagine being happier at the prospect that after everything that had happened, everything he had done…that Matthew would still care.

"I want you to live with me" Matthew replied, without missing a single beat. "I can't even begin to tell you how it has been without you—living without you—it's been hell" he gazed at Ivan with teary eyes. "I have a new place now, just for us. It's really nice!—you'll like it—kind of inspired by the style of your house" Matthew scoffed himself, seeing that he was getting off of subject. He cleared his throat and tried again, taking Ivan's hands—still so warm and so much larger—and he looked earnestly into the violet eyes as he spoke clearly and sentimentally. "I want you back in my life forever, Ivan. I want to wake up every day and see you beside me. I _love_ you." The emphasis was placed solely and heavily on love and the word that followed, to tell the other naught had changed at all and that love, that word and action, was only for the other. The word that preceded, I, was used to show that only he could love the other so much, and for knowing what they had been through, it was more than true! And he repeated the words, "I _love_ you."

Ivan’s eyes started to water as he held Matthew’s hands “I love you. If this is a dream, I never want to wake up, it’s more than I could have ever hoped for. I don’t know how you could have forgiven me but thank you, thank so much.” He lifted Matthew’s hands in his and kissed them since Matthew himself was across the table “I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you” he said kissing the back of his hand.

Matthew's eyes sparkled effervescently with the other's response. He got up from the table and came around to tightly embrace the Russian. "After all these years…you still feel the same" he whispered, a tear of joy slipping down his cheek as he stroked the man's snowy hair.

Ivan hugged him tightly, pulling him even closer “The only doubt I had was if you would ever return, I thought…I didn’t dare to hope…”

Matthew just smiled happily, a huge grin spread over his face as he blushed a rosy hue and held Ivan tighter, rubbing his back.  
The two sat and talked for hours on end, finishing their cake and milk tea. And when the cups and dishes were empty, they stood up and walked toward the door, supposedly Ivan would go and pack some things, and bring them. But Matthew shook his head and insisted that he drive them both to his home for the night. His mind raced with all sorts of misfortunes and tragedies that might possibly befall the other on the way home, and simply would not allow himself to be forgiven anything was to happen to him. As they drove to his home the honey blond contemplated all of the things that had happened, all of the struggles and strains of their relationship previously, were all in the past now. And if anyone had ever told the man that this would be his future, he would not have believed them for a moment. He would not have believed or ever even dreamed that he would ultimately and finally have his chance at the lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this little journey of crazy emotions and characters and a huge thanks to everyone who stuck by it! If anything stuck out to you, anywhere in the story, please tell me in the comments; I'd love to hear about it!  
> ~Poison


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